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Bottled Emotions

Through an alcoholic gaze I see better days
distant memories that my mind portrays,
visions of the past, drowning in my glass,
provoking thirst to be reality's mask.

So to forget I drink or so I think,
for within my glass blurred images sink.
My mind they haunt, my tears they taunt,
hard I swallow on the truth they flaunt.

Though 'Bitter' the taste I sup with haste,
a cocktail of sadness, alcohol laced.
I no longer think it; I drink it through,
'tis potent stuff this pathos brew.

As I sink deeper it becomes my keeper,
in the grip of self-pity, the mind is weaker;
brings forth illusions and false conclusions,
breeds apparitions that are merely confusions.

My rose tinted vision brings self-derision,
both alcohol induced, headlong for collision;
bottled emotions and misplaced devotion,
blind to the truth of beery contortion.

Consume then consumed, sensibility is doomed,
within a sea of despair all thought lies marooned.
Floundering in regrets, alcohol never forgets,
constant reminders supposed payments for debts.

Then as drunk becomes sober, reality takes over,
fading mirages of days in clover.
Multiplying lies in sincerity's guise,
as sobriety's truths sever emotional ties.

For the truth appears as my vision clears,
stark realities breach the fog of my tears;
uncomfortable sights at the end of my nights,
highlighted pictures of my hopeless fights.

As my alcoholic clouds throw back their shrouds,
perception disperses my emotional crowds.
My pride is spared and my ego repaired,
a fragile bonding until the bottle is bared.
 
© Nicholas Vosper 2001