
.:|- " The Crippler " Chris Benoit -|:. Hello to all The XWF viewers watching this from home, you might be sitting there scratching your heads wondering exactly what the hell I am doing sitting here eating chips, drinking pop and watching TV before I have a big match ahead of me on Raw, well in actuallity I am doing the smartest thing I could do, I am training for my match. You might be wondering why I am not in the gym like I usually am or doing something to help my strength or stamina, well if you sit and think about it, I allready am the best damn technical wrestler in The XWF, hell probably the world, and I proved that last week on Raw when I kicked Lance Storms ass and made him tap just like everyone else. So I decided to think outside the box so to speak, I decided for my training, I am going to sit back and watch exactly what my dear good friend Billy Gunn does for his training. I have sent an XWF cameraman to go out and follow our so called Outlaw of The XWF, so I can see exactly how he trains and exactly how much of a challenge he is going to be for me. Not that there is any chance in hell that he is going to come out on top in the first place, but just for a good laugh, and so I can actually sit back for a few hours and call it training. So I hope you people out there enjoy watching and finding out exactly how Billy Gunn prepares for a match, because I sure as hell cant wait. And some of you might be wondering how I know he is out training, but if you are one of those people, then just think of this, how exactly does someone like Billy Gunn, expect to beat The Rabid Wolverine in a wrestling match, hell, how does anyone expect to beat me in a wrestling match in The XWF? There is no one who is as good as me, just because I am THE best damn technical wrestler any of you have ever seen, and dont you forget it, so now, lets go take a look and find out exactly what Billy Gunn is up to.
.:|- Scene -|:.The scene than goes to 'The Bad Ass' Billy Gunn walking down the street by himself, he has on a big sweater so that nobody can recognize that it is him, he seems to be walking fast also. He then stops and looks around and makes sure that there is nobody follwing him, when he does this the cameraman has to get out of the way fast, but Gunn then goes down a back alley and the cameraman follows him. When the cameraman gets to the laneway he sees a door closing so he then walks down and quietly goes into the building, there are some screams heard so it must be a place where people are training. The cameraman then just stands there without moving and sees Billy Gunn sitting there on a chair reading a magazine, all of a sudden someone walks out from the back followed by someone who is limping for some reason, when he sees Gunn he starts to talk to him.
.:|- Mysterious Worker Guy -|:.Oh Hey Billy, my favourite customer. You here for the usuall?
.:|- Scene -|:.Billy Gunn nods his head and then stands up, he follows the man behind the curtain into a room where Billy Gunn pulls down his pants and lies down on the table there, the cameraman can just barely see but can make out what is happening. Once Billy lies there the worker goes and grabs something and sticks it on Billys ass and pulls, it appears that Billy is getting the hair waxed from his ass. Once the man has done taking all the hair off he talks to Billy again.
.:|- Mysterious Worker Guy -|:.You want me to get rid of all those pimples on there too?
.:|- Scene -|:.Billy Gunn nods his head once again and the man gets some cream and puts it on his ass and rubs it in. He then looks at Billy and tells him that he can pull his pants back up. Billy does so and they both head out of the room as the cameraman once again goes and hides himself around a corner, out of sight, but still able to hear what Billy Gunn and the worker are talking about.
.:|- Mysterious Worker Guy -|:.Billy, I want you to tell me one thing, every week you come here to get your ass waxed, every week for the past years, how in the hell can one man get so much hair on his ass in one week? And wouldnt it just be beter to give up the ass man gimmick so you dont have to go through all the pain?
.:|- " The Bad Ass " Billy Gunn -|:. I dunno man, it just happens.
.:|- Mysterious Worker Guy -|:.Well whatever, I aint gonna complain, I get paid the big buxks to do it.
.:|- Scene -|:.With that Billy Gunn then pays the man and puts the hood back on over his head and walks out, the worker guy the goes behind the curtain and the cameraman follows Billy Gunn outside. Billy Gunn just starts walking down the street again as the scene cuts back to 'The Rabid Wolverine' Chris Benoit.
.:|- " The Crippler " Chris Benoit -|:. Well, well, well. How fun is this? Watching Billy Gunn make a complete and utter jackass of himself,watching Billy Gunn being followed around and not even knowing it, if this is not sheer grade a entertainment I dont know what is. And there is more, our cameraman is going to follow Billy Gunn around for the whole day until he actgually realizes that he is being followed, something that would not be hard to realize at all. But lets just think about what Billy is up to. The so called ass man having one of the hairiest asses in America? What the hell is up with these damn Americans anyways, there seems to be something wrong with every single one of them. But lets just think about one thing for a second, Billy Gunn, an 'Outlaw' in his own mind, screaming like a little bitch while getting his ass waxed, now correct me if Im wrong, but I see something wrong with both of those tnings that is going on. If he was a real man he would not care about being hairy or anything, there are other hairy wrestlers in The XWF. Or is it that hes afraid to admit to the world that he is not the 'Ass Man' that he says he is? Enough with the small talk though, I say we go back and find out what our little friend is up to now.
.:|- Scene -|:.The scene then cuts back to Billy Gunn who is still walking down the street unsuspecting of anything that is going on around him. All of a sudden Billy Gunn looks behind him and notices someone behind him. He then sits down on a bench and waits for the person to pass, luckily the cameraman is still around the corner and can just barely see Billy Gunn without being seen. Billy then gets up and starts to walk again. He then turns a corner and keeps walking, or so the cameraman thinks, but when the cameraman turns the corner he is met by Billy Gunn who is standing there with an irate look on his face, it appears he has known the whole time that he was being followed and he was just waiting for the right time to let Benoit know. He then takes the camera from the camera man and looks straight in it and says a few words to Benoit.
.:|- " The Bad Ass " Billy Gunn -|:. Chris, what do you think I am, dumb? You think Im some sort of idiot? Oh but you are wrong, you are dead wrong, I knew the whole damn time that I was being followed, you actually think I always get my ass waxed? What an idiot you are! I do give you credit where credit is due though, it was a brilliant scheme, but next time, get a cameraman who can keep his damn mouth shut. Oh, and one more thing, see you on Raw Chris!
.:|- Scene -|:.With that Billy Gunn then takes the camera and walks over to a bridge nearby and throws it over, the last things we see from that connection are trees and water before it fades away to static and back to Chris Benoit.
.:|- " The Crippler " Chris Benoit -|:. My, it seems that our thick headed little ass man appears to be smarter than he is, knowing this whole time what was going on, but that still does not change anything that is going on, that still does not change the fact that come Monday Night at the Cajun Dome in Lafayette, LA, it will be a different story Billy, you see, we will be standing toe to toe in the ring, you will not be talking to me through a camera, you will be talking to my face, and trust me Billy, there is a big difference, because when you are face to face with The Rabid Wolverine, you dont know what to say, you dont know what to do, and you dont have anywhere to run to. So its really simple, when you get in the ring with me on Monday, you aint gonna be the one walking out, and I can promise you that. I have beat damn near everyone in The XWF to date, I have beat more people in The XWF than you could ever hope to beat, and still you think you have a chance against me, well Mr. Ass, look back to my match last week against Lance Storm, look back and look at the inteseity in my eyes and the atitude that I had, that is what you lack and that is what is going to keep winning me matches in The XWF. And hell, if Lance Storm cant beat me and he is one of the best damn wrestlers in The XWF, I will give him that. What chance in hell do you actually have of beating me? In all honesty, you have about as much chance in beating me as The Brooklyn Brawler has of making a comeback and becoming XWF Champion, and there is no chance in hell that will ever happen. So in short, this match is nothing more to me than a little warm up before I have to step in the ring with Randy Orton at King Of The Ring, this is nothing but preperation for my match, this is nothing but a plain out ass kicking headed in your direction, so you had better be prepared for this Billy, you had better be as prepared as you have ever been, because not only is this your biggest test to date in The XWF, this is also going to be your last match for a hell of a long time, so you had better do the best you can in it and you had better live life to the fullest before it, because I can promise you afterwards, you will not even be able to get up from your bed to go to the washroom. So welcome to the real world Billy, and I hope you enjoy it here, and just in case you are not exactly sure what the hell is going to happen to you on Raw, here is a little example of it.
.:|- Scene -|:.Chris Benoit then gets up and walks over to the cameraman and takes the camera and sets it on a table and grabs the cameraman and pulls him into the scene and takes him and starts to kick his ass and then throws him down to the ground and slaps the Crippler Crossface on him and leaves it there for a couple minutes and then gets up and looks into the camera and speaks again.
.:|- " The Crippler " Chris Benoit -|:. Now Billy, I hope you have watched what I just did very, very closely, because that is just a sample of the punishment that I am going to unleash on you, you see, what everyone in The XWF fails to realize is that I am the best damn technical wrestler that they have right now, and have ever had, and still they put me in matches against people who have no chance of beating me and making a name for themselves in The XWF, and I for one am tired of it. And I am going to start making examples out of everyone that they throw in the ring against me, and you just happen to be the first unlucky person to face me in this state of mind, so be prepares for the fight of a lifetime and be prepared for what will resemble a living hell, because I am going to hold nothing back, I am going to show no mercy, and I am going to take you out, and Billy, I hope this all sinks into your head when you watch this, I hope to god that this pisses you off, because I am begging you when you get into that ring with me, to come at me full force and PROVE ME WRONG!!!
.:|- Scene -|:.Chris Benoit then takes a bat that is sitting beside his chair and starts to hit the camera until it works no more and the scene cuts out.