My Work In the Y2K
The Eternal Love
By: Brian Saki Hywel
There is something burning deep within my soul;
burning embers in my mind as hot little coals;
I know not that which this could possibly be;
but I feel as though I am trapped and cannot be set free;
for I am my keeper, and such a guard indeed;
but this earthly body will never set my soul freed;
I know neither why my soul intends to roam;
as if to say it has no earthly home;
resonating deep from within my soul there is a cry;
that I want to escape and far away fly;
as the raven flys on wings clad black;
vow I now if I escape I’ll never look back;
hermit am I now, sage wish I to become;
I will keep true my heavenly flight until I reach the sun;
then beyond the stars in the dark sky above;
I’ll be able to unite eternal with my one true love;
quietly and warmly smiling at me with her femininity;
which makes me sit in wonder, slightly reminiscently;
of times long gone, but never ever forgotten;
emotion and pure love that was never ill-begotten;
but in eternity we will make new memories by the river;
draw her nigh, shall I, when her delicate body shivers;
hold her close, passionately and lovingly then shall I;
there love increase and we need never more be shy;
then shall we close the circle of our secular lives;
shall then I take her as my wonderful lovely wife;
forever and ever amen shall we ever stay true;
just as the rose in the morning shall always be kissed by the dew;
end then the legacy we long ago left behind;
and forevermore then in eternity shall we together shine;
Emptiness
By: Brian Hywel
Long hours of the night, I look inside myself and see emptiness;
My heart is softened, and my mind has been cleared of perverse and foolish thoughts;
But still I feel as though there is little in life to lend me in my journey through;
Time and space, from here to there, knowing neither how I will make it nor how I will fare;
Though I am not alone, I do feel as though few can understand, and even less care;
For many nod their heads and act as though they listen, but deep down I see them;
Thinking about other things and letting their mind wander, though I show them;
The inner-most workings of my heart, they soon turn their heads and with my ramblings part;
Long feelings of void have since made me feel alone in the world, alone and without cause;
Because only time will tell how I fare, and many will come and go with my person;
They will leave soon and go about their way, lost themselves in theirselves;
Because each to their own hurt, with pain’s dark taunting being do we all flirt;
In rhyme shall this poem I end, because that is what emotion gives my lonely heart lend.
Untitled
By: Brian Hywel
As a cloud gently passes overhead;
dark thoughts and emotions now do I shed;
gladly and willingly now do I part;
their clawing hurt within my heart;
slightly now do I sigh with releif;
which will, of course, renew my atrophied belief;
in archaic and romantic star-crossed wishes;
set up in my mind as fine china dishes;
not put freely there upon display;
old and antique to many's dismay;
misplaced in time's defence do I claim;
caring not whether I do gain fame;
feeling great peace surely now do I;
getting ready as the raven go to fly;
looking up to the celestial bodies above;
going now to unite eternal with my one true love.
Phantom Tears
By: Brian Hywel
Phantom tears well up within my eyes,
Loneliness my ragged soul cries,
Feeling worn and not good enough,
For the words did tear open my heart were rough,
You said and I did perceive,
Solemnly I had to leave,
Away to go feel my phantom tears,
As from my heart I pull out the kitchen sheers,
You did embed unknowingly,
When you spoke down to me inappropriately,
Even if I was in folly,
You should have left me jolly,
Which would have passed within a day,
But no, on my heart’s dreams you had to lay,
Negativity and sheer hurt,
As my dreams lay in ashes burnt.
Voices in the Rain
By: Brian Hywel
I can hear the voices in the rain...
I can hear their despairing and cold tones...
Their unhappiness for their demonic torture...
And the things they ask of me...
Could you hear the voices in the rain?
Could you hear their moaning and crying?
Have you the power to listen to their cries?
And still keep your sanity?
Would you hear the voices in the rain?
Would you listen to their torment?
Would you walk with them in the zero hour?
And would you return the same as you had left?
Should you hear the voices in the rain?
Should you be tempted by their dark powers?
Should you play with the power as though it were a child’s toy?
And still walk among man as a normal person?
But...
Will you hear the voices in the rain?
Will you keep your sanity as it is bombarded with overaccute senses?
Will you fall prey to their evil ways?
And never return the same again?
In Dream You Come
By: Brian Hywel
In dream you come...
Yet far away...
My mind to cope...
The troubled day...
I hold your hand...
And kiss your lips...
We revel in...
Our passions' grips...
I love you true...
You love me same...
Two restless souls...
Together came...
Torment is what I have endured...
Yet by promise...
Be ensured...
Dark things in past...
Do here lie...
Yet worry not...
Do not cry...
Strange too true...
This all must seem...
But dark will pass...
Though as a dream...
And when we wake...
We will find...
Each other's embrace...
If we pine...
If I awake...
To grey day...
Have I only to look upon your face...
As a bright sun ray...
My day then would be complete...
Even though life turns up it's heat...
I love you, love...
Of that be sure...
You have reserved...
My lonely heart's tour.
The Silent Bell
By: Brian Hywel
Can you not hear the silent bell?
The crystal tone it bestows upon the air?
Oh hear the silent bell!
Hear, my student and gain enlightenment!
If man is of the silent bell, is not the silent bell of man?
How, then can this be true?
A bell ringing, yet silent?
Something of man yet man is of?
These can be answered in a simple word...
A word that has directed Li Er...
A word that has directed the Eight Immortals...
This sacred word is but three leters...
It is:
DAO
Meditation
By: Brian Hywel
In the rain I meditate... And though the thunder crashes... As though war drums beating... It cannot disturb my quietness... The very quietness that I love... The quietness that surrounds me always... The quietness that I owe my existence to... The quietness that embodies Dao. Though the rain beats upon my being... As arrows beat upon an army’s flanks... It cannot disturb my quietness... It cannot disturb my peace within... The peace that guides my life... That guides my life today and forever... For to loose this peace I feel within... Would mean certain death to my soul. Though the night looms dark about me... It cannot upset my stillness... The stillness that is within my heart... The stillness that makes me calm... The stillness that makes me whole... Since there is no chaos within me... My stillness can never be upset... And my stillness is sweet and lasting. Though the cold bites at my person... I am always still and restful... For to be without stillness... And to be restless... Is to be in the opposite of meditation... These things are always at war with me... At war with my soul and mind... But they cannot win... They cannot win for I have Dao within me.
Zero Hour
By: Brian Hywel
I walk with the spirits in Zero Hour... I listen to their ramblings and hurt... I watch you opposite my shadow... I can feel the voices in the rain... I was driven to my shadow because of my pain... Now I feel there is nothing left to gain... In this life, or any other... I am darkness... You are light... No longer death has any might... Shine towards me, oh gentle light... Warm this death cold spot... Yet do not kill me with your hot... I am quiet... You are loud... I abhor all the crowds... I am death... You are life... I would’ve taken you as my wife... Yet I am evil... You are good... I realize now I never should... I am anger... You are love... You’re as gentle as a dove... I am black... You are white... Please don’t drown me in your light... I am shattered... You are whole... I know things that haven’t been told... I am old... You are new... Could you feel when the lonely wind blew? I’m that wind... You’re the sun... There’s no way to undo the damage done... I will roam... You will stay... I have no life within the day... At night I live... And you do sleep... I’d give my soul to take a peek... At your face... At your rest... The only time I’m in my best... But this torment... Is what I live... Now I’ve nothing else to give... I am pain... You are joy... This dark is why I’m so coy... Tears cannot flow... For I have no eyes... Away positivity from me flies... Across the horizon... What do I see? It is the light, killing me... I must run... Go hide away... Live to fight another day... Demons and spirits... Voices in the rain... All these things put me to shame... Goodbye, my love... I must subside... I must wonder if you’ve ever cried... To my grave... Now I must creep... Until zero hour I shall there sleep
Ages Ago
By: Brian Hywel
Ages ago, I felt love for you, Ages ago, you loved me true,
But ages ago, I you did leave,
Ages ago my love you did bereave, Ages ago, we left life behind, Ages ago, and I feel no bind, Yet ages ago, again we were reborn, And ages ago, again I was left forlorn, Ages ago, we lived first our lives now, But ages ago, for you my love was roused, Ages ago, we will replay our lives, Ages ago into death’s bosom my love dives, Ages ago, I shall end this being, Ages ago, as the raven in the distance goes far fleeing.
These next two poems are dedicated to Ashley
Meeting
By: Brian Hywel
You’re in my thoughts, You’re in my head, You’re in my dreams, While I’m in bed,
We’ve met before, I know not how, I kiss your hand, And humbly bow,
Long ago, Soon to come, We’ll know how, When it is done,
Who am I? Who are you? You must ask, If this be true,
Please feel well, Please feel good, This is how, I know I should,
Let you know, This is for you, Know it now, I never drew,
But paint a scene, None the less, This will end, This poem best.
To My Love
By: Brian Hywel
You are away, Yet for a day, I’m going mad, What can I say?
I love you true, I love you whole, I’ll love you ‘till, I’m grey and old,
I lay in bed, And think of you, The day we met, I’ll never rue,
Someday I know, We’ll be together, No matter what, May be the weather,
Your voice is sweet, With love untold, Now but how, Will our story unfold?
The Curse
By: Brian Hywel
My body cries out tears of blood Which my mind cannot feel My life slowly leaves me How cruel did old fate deal
I am cursed to roam this land And never to have rest Happiness now has gone from me These words are not in jest
I miss my life, I miss my love I know not if she understands I love her true and I love her much Now must I make my stand
I want to fight and stay with her But I know not if I can Forever will I live for her I wish to offer this wedding band
Tonight I cry and feel once more Emotions long thought gone These feelings really frighten me I may drown in tears that form a pond
I now must go and hide away From this light that does repel me I feel hurt and feel depressed I must ask how this all came to be
Washing clean
By: Brian Hywel
I feel the feelings washing over me And those I cannot explain I cannot tell what they want from me But I know I am to blame
Depression is what I feel now Though why I do not know If only I could loose it now Gladly would I let it go
Sadness now is washing over Though its meaning is unclear God I wish it would be over Its presnece I wish I could reveer
Sigh now is what I must Waiting for my love Be strong now I must Aside these feelings shove.
The Dreamers
By: Brian Hywel
We travel down a lonely road The light begins to subside I do not mind being with you I will not run and hide
Because I love you so
The engine begins to sputter And slowly fades away I will fix the broken engine So we can make it to the day
Because I love you so
The light is gone and night has come And the surroundings are dark and scary But with you I am not afraid With me your love I do carry
Because I love you so
I repair the broken engine And start up the old truck We are in the middle of nowhere But we have the best of luck
Because I love you so
We travel on for a few hours Then the engine again dies I again go to fix the engine While the minutes away fly
Because I love you so
I will not stop and leave us here On a dark lonely highway I’ll make sure that you are safe Of that be sure anyway
Because I love you so
Then the vehicle pulls out of park And tries to run me over You pull me away from the awry machine My good and passionate lover
Because you love me so
You could have left me standing there And watched me slowly die I would have lay there on the highway And my life slowly subside
But you love me so
We hold each other in our arms And kiss a thousand times The tears flow freely from our eyes We are lost in the lonely pines
Because we love each other so
I say that I love you always You tell me just the same Fate’s blessings now have we Because together we came
Because we love each other so
This story is unparalleled Dark and almost sad But hope shines through the darkness Good did conquer bad
Because we love each other so
Demon’s Charm
By: Brian Hywel
I cannot grasp what my mind cannot see
One day alone and how could this be?
I will relate this story well
I feel as though I am slipping into deeper hell
Being here cannot be wise
The demons take such a pleasing guise
I will not run, I shall not hide
But no longer here can my soul abide
Rage and sorrow both felt within
I gaze upon the face of darkness grin
My strength doeth fail and my faith is shot
Satan’s little helpers have such here brought
I fear I will perish if I am left alone
Ice runs through my viens and over blackened bone
How could I end such a dark and twisted tale?
Going down, you’ll never see my arms flail
I will go quietly, and not raise alarm
I have been cast with much a demon’s charm
What then is to become of my soul?
Never again may my body remain whole
In the shadows then make my home
Keeper of books and mayhaps ancient tomes
Spirit will I be and yearn to again be man
Over centuries will my anguish and torment span
No longer shall I know the warmth and feel of life
No longer shall I ever have my beautiful wife
Restlessness
By: Brian Hywel
“Restlessness once again encompasses my being
I feel as though I am falling into a deep hell;
I feel as though my life is going nowhere
And that I am failing by all ends.
(Pro Mel Meum)”
Happiness still graces me
Though shallow and hollow does it seem
I will refuse to show you my feelings
Because worthy not do I you deem
You may not understand
All the things I feel inside
I doubt you could relate
Behind blankness do I hide
I must ask all that’s holy
Why I feel this way
Could I have been cursed
To wonder night and day?
My first love is gone
My second is on her way
Save me from this hell
And I’ll with you humbly lay
You’ll have my every ounce
Of spirit and my heart
I’ll give you all my love
Just tell me where to start
This story is full of madness
Of which only I can tell
Do not enter into my world
For it is a fiery hell.