There's all these weird and wonderful ways to kill people, here are some that I've read about, or have been suggested to me. Haven't actually tried any of them out yet, but don't worry I will - eventually!!! So enjoy these painful deaths, and if you happen to try one, tell me how it went!!!

Here's something you can do before you kill your little victim. You can dip their head into a bucket full of leeches (YUM!!). Make them eat their own balls. Stuff like that - just be creative!!

The Bloody Eagle  is where you cut the victim's ribs away from their spine and pry it apart so that they are lying with their ribs splayed to revile all. I suppose it become pretty obvious by now why it's called the Bloody Eagle. So anyway the person is suppose to slowly bleed to death after a great deal of pain.

Now this next method was dreamed up by Jacqui, yep that's right she actually dreamed it!! In this dream she'd tie the victims to a table or bench and cut their flesh off their bones. Wish I had fun dreams like this!!!

This is yet another method I have read about, it was a kind of a death penalty quite interesting really. What happens is the offender is cleaned and strapped face down on a special table. Their offence or the law etc. they broke is inscribed into their back with a needle. When their back is completely covered water is thrown on (obviously to increase the pain) and a cotton sheet is pressed onto their back to dry the blood and water. Then they are left for an hour or so. Next the inscriptions on their back is traced with a needle and doused with water. This process is repeated over and over until they die of blood loss by the seventh or eighth time. Just imagine what kind of screaming results this would bring!!!

These are some ideas they were considering on using in scream for when they hung up Casy Becker in the tree. Personally i think these are waaaaay better than the one they ended up using...anyway just thought these might be some good idea...

Here's another bright (or rather deadly...) idea that Jacqui came up with. You know how people got their heaps chopped off in the gelatin back in the medieval times. And we all know that a blunt knife brings more pain than a sharp one because it just makes such a lovely mess. So you put the two together and you get a blunt gelatin. We figured if it's blunt enough when it comes out to chop your head off it'd just bounce, coz it's that blunt. So the blade would just hack a bit outta you and then bounce back to take out another chunk until you go kaput. Now wouldn't that be peachy?

Next up we have a interesting way to disembowel someone. To make it more painful use a blunt knife. What you do is you slit your victim down the front and then you turn them around and give them a good kick. At this point all their guts should come tumbling out. I really gotta try this one!!

Now that we've got their insides on the outside it doesn't necessary means they will cark it. So there's a couple of interesting things you can do with all these fun bits! For starters you can hang then up and either boil their intestines or just hold it over the steam so they are slowly cooked alive. And if you want to  be really cruel you can always make them eat it!!!

Now we all know that bamboo grows very fast, especially at night, I heard somewhere you can actually hear them grow (popping sounds or so I've been told). Well somebody decided to take advantage of their fast growth. What they did was cut the top of the bamboos at a slant, so it was sharp at the top. Then they tied their victim over the bamboos and just let them grow. And as the bamboos grew they begin to dig into the victim's flesh, and cause great pain as it continues to grew into the victim, until they die from lost of blood or just plain excruciating pain!!!

Now this is just a little something I've been wondering about. If you slit someone's throat would it tickle?? I mean when the bloody comes flooding out in a warm trickle. I seriously think it would tickle, and they may even laugh. What do you think?? Another thing I was wondering about is whether or not you can squeeze blood out of someone's hair. I really doubt it, but it's worth a try... 

Did you know that if you hang someone after they are truly and utterly dead, their rectum kind of loosen and everything comes tumbling out through their anus? All the crap that was unexcreted, and a lot of other fun bits we like cutting up so much. Another think I think you should all know is that if a person bits the tip of their tongue suddenly with extreme force (as in bit a chunk out type thing) they will naturally react and pull their tongue back really fast and it's possible that the choke on it.

¡@

Another thing you can do is hang someone upside down over a pit of hungry rats. The rats will jump on one another until they reach the person's head, where the start devouring them. This will carry on for several days before they finally die! 

A way to be rid of the murder weapon is to eat it, I mean they're never gonna find it if there's nothing to find right? So me and Mill figured that if you bash someone in the head enough times they will eventually cark it. So why not use a ice block? You can eat it afterwards!! Bet it'd tastes better!!! Even better, you can freeze blood and then bash them to death with it, so you know they get killed by blood and if you want you can still eat it...I would!!

If you're fortunate you'd have watched Seven  at some point, and remember the first victim they found? The fat dude that died from over eating? Wouldn't that be fun to inflict on someone? Personally I thought the movie was a bit disappointing, we didn't get to see that girl's face - you know that one with her nose chopped off. And we didn't get to see that bitch's head!!! I really really really want to see her dead for once. Perhaps we could do something about that...

I wonder what would happened to a person if someone injected acid into their veins. Wouldn't it just circulate the body, slowly corroding everything? What could be really fun to do. Not very messy but still fun. Or I suppose we can just make then drink it and see how they react huh?

¡@

Home | Jokes | Comments | Death | The Devil | Ewan stuff