We Love You Shane



Dedicated To
Shane's 2nd Anniversary
in Heaven



Two years in life have passed us by
Each one with love we trace
Remembering the time we shared
These moments we embrace


Kindness felt within your soul
Such peace I always found
Together with our memories
Our hearts to you are bound

Candle glow upon the wall
We see you standing there
Smile of love my special son
Your vision always near


Candle's glow within the night
Our shadows now will meet
Held within the softest light
Our spirits always meet

Flame of love will always burn
No matter where you are
Look upon the softest glow
You're never really far


Each day in life I feel you close
You're always in my sight
No matter where in life I go
You are my guiding light


~Francine Pucillo ~
Copyright October 27, 2003
written exclusively for Shane's
2nd Anniversary in Heaven

Thank you so much Francine!

Angels in Heaven
by Higher Faith


It happened so fast
everything was a blur.
And everyone came by and
said how sorry they were.

I knew that they meant well
so I tried to force a smile.
And they said I should be thankful
that I had him for a while.


But now all my friends and
my family have gone home.
I am just left here sitting
with my memories all alone.

I've always heard that God
does everything right.
I just wish My Angels weren't
in Heaven tonight.


I know there are some
things beyond our control.
And some things only
God can decide.

That won't stop this hurting
that I feel in my soul.
I just wish My Angels weren't
in Heaven tonight.


Oh I know there are some
things beyond our control.
Some things only God can decide.

Oh But that won’t stop this hurting
that I feel in my soul.
I just wish my Angels weren’t
in Heaven tonight.

God won’t you pleaseee
Kiss my Angel
Good Night.


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Shane }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I Love You ((Shane))
I love You!
mom, xoxox



 

 


From Mom
Sweetheart, I wish I had a flare for writing so that I could properly express to you how much I love you and how deeply I miss you. There just aren't any words to describe how I feel. I don't think anyone has written them yet, but I will try. The day you died, I died too. The day you left for Heaven, I went with you. There's just an empty shell of person left here now. The most important parts of me; my heart, my soul, my smile and my laughter left me, at the very moment you left my arms to be with God. Those parts of me can not exist here on earth without you. I don't know how to live a full life with the knowledge that my son is gone forever. I still look for you every where. I see you in every small thing that I would not have noticed before. My arms always ache. My heart is always sad, it never stops longing to see you, to talk with you and to hold you. I miss you. I miss your company. I miss all the very special and unique things about you. I miss your smile. I miss your laughter. I miss your giggles. I remember how you loved to play a joke on someone and the he! he! he! I'd hear as you planned it. It was always in good fun, never mean. I miss your loving and kind heart. If anyone was in need and you had it to give, you did. You always wanted to "fix" things for people, fix things that were going wrong in their life because you wanted them to be happy. Your heart was as forgiving as it was loving. I think in the end, that might have caused you harm. You never wanted to believe the worst of anyone. I miss your love greatly. I miss your protectiveness towards me. I miss our special connection. I feel so lonely without you. My soul gently whispers to me, "you will see him again" but it hurts my heart you are not here now. This is not how I envisioned your life or mine. I wanted so much for you. I wanted everything, for you. You are gone and I am lost without you. This isn't the way is was suppose to be. I am grateful that I can feel you around me. I feel your heart. I feel your love. I talk with you as if you were here. My heart misses you! Lacie and Molly keep me company. We have a small little herd here. I love them so much. They have brought me such comfort. Every hug Molly gives and every kiss Lacie gives brings joy to my heart as I know they are from you. I think they take care of me as much as I take care of them. Their loving nature shows all the love you had for them. We love to spoil them and take care of them and they are happy and healthy and I know that makes you happy. I love you deeply. I miss you with all my heart and I always will, love forever, mom xoxoxo ~ ymf ~

From Rob
Hey Shane, It's still hard to believe that you're not with us. I like to think that you are in a happier place. I can imagine the pain and struggles you had but now you are in a place of peace. Molly and Lacie are doing really good. They are adjusting to the maritime way of life quite nicely and I simply enjoy having them around. Your mom is still having quite a hard time of it. It's hard as we we try to make some sense of all this, but to understand one's personal pain is not always easy. All we can do, is know you are now at a place where trouble and turmoil do not exist and that there will come a time when we will all be together again. So try not to worry, I'll will always be there for your mom and take care of her and together we will get her through the hardest days. So, finally Shane, be happy and know you will never be forgotten. You've touched alot of people and I know that every so often you enter into their minds and make them smile. You will always, always be missed. Take care and be happy, love Rob

From Lou
Peggy, What a beautiful tribute. I know you miss Steve so much, and that each day doesn't get any easier. Two years and everyone's life goes on, making all kinds of plans and yours just plain stopped two years ago. I know what you feel in your heart, and I try to make it easier, I try to listen and embrace you and but I know that nothing or no one can replace your precious son. I am sure this site is comforting to all those who were his friends.....I am sure there are many who in their silence are visiting the site and feel comforted by what you have done here. Some of those friends you may not have met and never got to know, but in your own way you are helping them with their own grieving and feeling of loss of their friend they remember and trying to make sense of what happened and why did it happen so tragically. So dear Peg, I know the day is coming close of the anniversary, just know that we are here thinking about you and holding you in our hearts.

From Cathy
Dearest Peggy, I don't know what to say to take your pain away, there are no words to ease the ache in your heart and in your soul. Even in all of your own pain, physical, and emotional, you do the most wonderful pages for Shane, the love that you put into every word, every picture, shows so much how you love your son and miss him so very much. I wish I had had the chance to meet him and know him, but through you, and your memories, I feel like Shane is a part of my own family, (can I be Aunt Cathy?) I have also come to feel so close to you, and though we are far apart in miles, please know that I am thinking of you every moment and your beautiful Shane, I share you both with my own family, so its like they know you both too. Mikki will ask, "How's Peggy". I wish I had a magic wand, to make the world alright again, to bring our sons back home to us where they belong, I wish so many things now. As the second year approaches, an eternity, know that my thoughts and love are with you, and Shane is watching carefully over you, wishing for his Mom to find some peace. Look to the night sky Peggy, every star you see is Shane, every one of them a sweet memory, and they go on forever, burning bright. All my love , Cathy

From Danelle
Peggy, what a beautiful tribute to Steve. I know the pain of his death has caused you so much heartache and sorrow. I try to be there for you, but I know I cannot do or say anything that can heal your loss. But I wish I could... I would jump to it in a heart beat. Steve, may God bless you each and every day. You were a true friend to me and I wish you were still here with us. I remember the things your mom mentions in her posting. Your laugh, your giggle, your plot to play a joke on someone, your serious goals and motivation. I know I have taken some of that in my life and try to learn from you. You had great qualities. Thank you for being a part of my life for the time that we shared. May you always be at peace.

From Francine
I know that life is difficult and the roads that we travel make us weary and filled with sorrow. We all look ahead to better tomorrows but it seems as those tomorrows are also filled with the bumps and cracks that never give us a smooth ride. All we can do really is cling to each other and comfort each other during these times when the most horrible thing in life we have to deal with seems to never go away. Like losing a child or anyone that we love dearly. My heart goes out to you and your family and my thoughts and prayers are with you always. Love Francine

From Michael
Well 2 years have passed. It's hard to believe because at times it seems like it was just yesterday we were out having fun. Your mom has done such an incredible job making this site for you. She misses you very much as do I. I really don't know what to say that I haven't said here in the past so many times. Each day that goes by my friend I think about you. Not one single day passes that I don't. I wish things hadn't turned out as they did, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I have been busy with the business as usual; This has taken me all over the place to see new things and it makes me think of all the things you missed out on. If only you could turn back time I know you would. You are missed so terribly by so many of your family and friends. I wish there was something I could write that would make sense of what happened but I can't. All I can do is remember you for what you were, my best friend, my brother. I hope wherever you are you are looking down at us and smiling, knowing we haven't for one minute forgotten who you were and how many people you touched in your short time here. Take care my friend, Michael

From Paula
Steve, Tomorrow will be two years since you were taken from us. Although I never got a chance to meet you before that horrible day, I feel like I have known you for years. Michael keeps your memory alive and shares stories about you and the things that you shared together. I wish things could have been different for you, I wish you were still with us all because I would love to hear that laugh that I see in all your pictures. You were a great friend to Michael and I know he misses you daily - hopefully we will all meet eventually - one day! Till then you will be greatly missed! Love Paula

From Morrigan
My dear dear friend I know how much you miss him. He is so very proud of you hon. I am sure he feels your trials and tribulations and wraps his arms around you through each and every one. I would give my own life to bring him home for you if I could. I love you. ((((( Peg ))))) and Shane too ))))). as ever, Morrigan

From Judy
Dear Peg, It's early in the morning and I'm getting ready for work, but my first thoughts were about you. There is nothing to say except all the many things we have said over the past two years to one another. The pain of the memories of today are so deep that only a select few can really understand them. It is not something that gets easier as the years pass by, which we are both beginning to find out. I hope today passes as easily as a day like this can. I'm sure you have planned something special for today even if it's just to reflect on the two years that have gone by. Just know I am thinking of you and holding you especially close to my heart today. I know the emptiness and sadness of missing your son as much as you do today and everyday.Love & hugs, Judy
(((((((((((((((((((((Peg & Shane)))))))))))))))))))))))

From Cathy
Dear Shane, I never got to meet you, in person, and would never know your wonderful Mother if not for you, but I want to take this day to talk to you and tell you just how much your Mom loves and misses you so much. You've been away for 2 years now, the worst years of her life, and today, I'm asking you to give her all the warmth and comfort and love that you ever could, and find a way to let her know, somehow. In her heart, she knows that you would be here if you could, and her precious memories of you will have to sustain her for now, but please give her a little kiss and hug today as she misses you desperately and needs to know you are right there by her side at all times. From all the sharing of you from your Mom, I have come to know you as a wonderful person, full of love, and life. I'm so sorry that one very dark moment changed it all forever, and I know if there is a way for you to make something better from where you are now, that you will do it. I will do my best for you, to be your Mom's friend, and watch over her as best I can. You are thought of and loved on this day and all days to come. Be happy where you are and know that you have always been your Mom's Angel. ((((((((((((((((Shane & Mom))))))))))))))))))
Love you both,Cathy

From Joyce
((((((((((((( Peggy ))))))))))))))) I just called by to say "Hi" to your precious Shane, and to tell him to look down and he will see a candle burning for him in Karen's Memory Garden, in England.......... Peggy, my friend, I wanted you to know that I am holding you soooo close to my heart and in my thoughts on this dreadful day......... I am remembering your handsome, beloved Shane on his sad 2nd Memorial Day......... Love and Light to you, my dear friend........ from Joyce, mum of Karen.........

From Mom
To My Dear Son, Shane: Two horrible years are behind us now, two years without you, an eternity ... that one unexpected, horrible moment that yields a lifetime of sorrow. I'm afraid to think about the future and how many more years of pain and suffering there are still to come. I know this kind of loss is not resolved easily. It can take several years and after two very hard years, it's difficult to look ahead at what is still to come. I over-heard someone say I am a strong person, but that is so untrue. A person even asked me why I still grieve two years after my son's death; I am always in awe of their stupidity and cruelty and I walked away feeling like I'd been slapped in the face. Everyone grieves differently, this much I know. A mom grieves differently for a child then for anyone else in her life. There is nothing more painful to bare then the loss of a child. Nothing in my life could ever prepare me. They do not know the emotional courage it takes to resolve this kind of horrific and unexpected grief; you can't do it alone! As much as our families wish we could, we can't. For most of us, it seems that they would prefer us to grieve and call them when it's done! This kind of attitude makes our loss that much harder to resolve, if we're ever able to get through it at all! God Bless the open families. They are the ones who openly admit to their pain and their negative thoughts, they don't build walls or shut others out. They can be honest about their grief, sharing openly and often, as we all need to do. They are positive teachers for us all. For most of us, there is fear, fear of being judged, abandoned, gossiped about and ostercised from the rest of the family at a time when we desperately need others to help and support us. Having a lack of support, which means not having others who are willing to show compassion, understanding, patience and love, especially if that lack of love and support comes from our own family, who are supposed to love us unconditionally, is one of the biggest factors why parents, who've lost a child, are at such a high risk for taking their own life. The number of people I have come to know who are abandoned and basically left for dead by their families to hurt in silence and resolve their grief on their own, is shocking! It is so confusing to me that family loved you; but now they choose not to express that love, ever again! It's confuses me that family loved me, but they now treat me as if I don't exist and don't feel one bit bad about it either. Their neglect and silence hurts deeply. I don't understand and I don't have the necessary thick skin at this time to live through it, so I keep to myself. I don't bother them with my pain; they certainly never call me, and their neglect and lack of support, love and compassion hurts me each and every moment. They don't realize that it may be easier for them, but it is much harder for me. I have enough to cope with, without the loss of my family on top of the loss of my only son. They don't know what to say, so they say nothing and that makes this time of unspeakable loss, unbearable for me. I still feel very weak and fragile. I feel confused and dazed by what happened to you. I am not strong ... I am in unbearable pain and I miss you. You would be so proud of Rob Shane. He has taken such loving and tender care of me these past two years. Where others walked away, he really stepped up to the plate. I would not have survived this long without him. He listens to me without judgement. His heart is always loving, kind and sensitive to what I am going through each day. Without family support, I have turned to your friends. I knew a few, but most of them are people I never met before. I'm so grateful to Danelle for her loving and kind heart, she always reminds me of your love for me, especially during the darkest moments, she is very special and means a lot to me ... to her mom Lou, her kindness and unwavering support has helped me so much and even though they both live so far away from you, they visit you often and take care of you, for me ... to Michael for his love and support and for all the hours he has spent listening to me while I have been in such pain, confusion and lost over your death ~ he is always kind and patient and his love has helped me so much ~ he knows you very well and is always honest with me about how you might feel about something and his love and honest has helped me a great deal when I have been suffering and confused and can't find my way ... to my Dad, I know he doesn't understand the pain and grief I am going through, but I am grateful that atleast he tries. He calls often, shows concern and interest in my life and I know he tries to help in his own way ... to Cathy, to be honest, I don't know if I could have made it through this past two years, day by day, moment by moment, without Cathy. Even though she suffers the loss of her own precious son, Kelly, she has been my rock, my biggest source of love and support. We cry together on our hardest days and I'm so grateful that I don't have to walk this horrible road alone ... and I'm grateful to all the moms who have befriended me these past two years, who also walk this road, who've been so generous and kind to me during a time when I know they can barely walk themselves, I am grateful that I don't have to walk alone, but so very sorry that they have to walk this road at all ... to your little puppy dogs … Molly and Lacie - I think they saved me, and I believe that you made sure they made it home to me regardless of interference ... Molly’s hugs warm my heart and Lacie always puts a smile on my face, ... when I cry they come running, they kiss me and hug me and I have something to hug back. I think of you and I know the reason they are so loving is because of all the love you showed them and we miss you, together, each and every day. There is still that one dark person, who continues to lie, cheat, steal from and hurt the mom, of the very man she barely knew, but caused to take his life. She disgraces your memory in order to better her circumstances and her behaviour, in your name, no less, disgusts me. Instead of being a source of support, she is a constant source of upset. I will never forget, that if not for her and her bitter tongue, you would not be in Heaven, you would be here, on this earth with your family, your friends and me, as you should be. She is nothing more then your darkest moment. Her narcisistic and cruel actions over the past 2 years only further prove her greed, her selfishness, her lack of morals and her lack of love for you, or anyone accept, herself. I hope that one day, she suffers all the pain and agony she puts on others. I don't know what this next year will bring. I pray it will be a little easier than the past two. I miss you so very, very much. We have a very special bond that no one or nothing can ever break and I miss it so much Shane, so much. Our love for each other, as mother and son, is so strong that not even death can part us and I feel your presence and protection around me each and every day and I've come to rely on it for comfort and strength. I find myself talking with you as if you were right here with me and the strangest of things seem to happen at just the right moment to protect me from making the wrong decision or trusting the wrong person. Words can't describe the pain and loss I still feel each and every day. There is nothing in this world I would not do or give to bring you back. I wish I could have done something, anything to prevent this horrible tragedy or steer you away from the one person who took you from us. You are missed terribly. Please know how much I love you and how much I miss you. It's hard to breath because you were my air. You were my purpose and my reason for being here. I love you sweetheart, I love you so very much and I miss you with all my heart, love forever, mom ~ ymf ~ xoxoxoxoxoxox





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by Shane's Mom, "Peggy"
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