Date: 07/27/2003
Name: Francine
Location: Long Island, New York
There are no words that can come close to easing the pain that you must feel at the loss of your son. My heart goes out to you and I know that your son lives on in your heart forever. It is so difficult to lose a child in your life, I cannot even imagine the pain you must be going through. Each step in life we take leaves a footprint behind for others to walk. I know that your son has left the gold of his love for you in every footprint he made on this earth. God be with you now and always. Love Francine Pucillo


Date: 07/31/2003
Name: Cathy
Location: California
Dear Peggy, I just finished viewing Shanes birthday page, and his movie. That is the most beautiful tribute I have seen!!!!! Shane is so loved by you, and I can see the love he had for you also.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Peggy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Shane, Send all your love down from heaven to your Mom, she misses you so. Happy Birthday in Heaven Shane, fly with the angels. All My Love, Cathy


Date: 08/01/2003
Name: Lou
My dearest Peg, I watched the movie and I can't help but cry for you. I know the pain has been so unfair. The memories of Steve are still so fresh in our minds. The smiles, the laughter and the tears. He was apart of our family too. The memories still linger. I wish in my heart that the pain he and you were caused could all be erased, and your dreams of his life were a continuing rolling movie. You and I have become such good friends through all this turmoil and I know Steve is watching down from heaven with a big smile on his face. The movie is wonderful, of a son so dearly missed. Happy Birthday in heaven, Steve.


Date: 08/12/2003
Name: Trish
(((Peggy))), Shane's birthday movie made me want to reach out and hug him. Can I hug you now? Trish on POS


Date: 08/12/2003
Name: Morrigan
Happy earth birthday in Heaven sweet Shane! ((((((( Peg and Shane ))))))) I love you Peg. in spirit, Morrigan


Name: Cathy
Location: California
Dear, Dear Peggy, Today, as I think of you and Shane, my heart is filled with such sadness. This day 29 years ago, the happiness and joy that filled your heart to look upon your newborn son, the greatest gift in the whole world was shattered in one instant, taken from you like a thief in the night, (literally). Now, memories are all that's left to you, and I know you treasure each and every moment of having had this wonderful, beautiful being, the light of your life for as long as you did. This isn't the way its supposed to end, this unnatural, sad ending of a life, so filled with love. That one miserable, selfish excuse for a woman, a wife, and even a mother herself who doesn't even have the maternal instinct of a flea, could take away the life of a beautiful, sensitive man, without a thought about it, except for what she gains from his death. His love lives on, in you, and he's shining down on you from Heaven on this day, and all days to come. There's so much more I would like to say to this waste that devastated your life and Shane's, but this is his day, and she deserves no attention.
Happy Birthday in Heaven Shane! Know you are loved and missed so desperately. Tonight I know you will be showering your Mom with angel kisses for all of the love that you shared with her, and continue to share in another form, but still there. I know you are surrounded by angels and at peace forever more.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Shane))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
May today, for you, my Dear friend Peggy, be peaceful and quiet and filled with love and wonderful memories of all the birthdays past. Know that your baby is watching over you, and you will be together again, one day. Your Friend, Cathy


Date: August 12, 2003
Name: Peggy ~ Shane's mom
Dear Shane: The 12th of the month is here. It represents the very best day of my life and the happiest day of my life because it is the day you were born. Sadly, the 12th also represents the very worst day of my life because it is the day you died. Today is your 29th birthday ~ Happy Birthday my precious son! How tragic it is that you are not here as you should be! How I long for you. How I wish, with every beat of my heart, that I could hold you in my arms. How I wish my arms could reach Heaven. It is 21 months since your death. I still find those words painful to say, heart wrenching to hear and very hard to understand. I wish for the simplest of things today; to bake you a cake, make you a special dinner, buy you a present and hold you in my arms, but all the wishing in the world won't make those dreams come true. Time continues on in a forward fashion, but I can not. I have learned that suicide is a desperate attempt to end unendurable pain. I now live with the memory of who caused your pain and anger consumes me. I continue live in a horrible nightmare where one day after ending a long relationship with your girlfriend of 2 years, a new woman enters your life. She moves into your house that night and 2 weeks later while in Vegas she marries you. Before you can celebrate your first month anniversary and while you are under the influence of alcohol, she falsely accuses you of betrayal and continues to argue with you bitterly for hours until finally, when you can take no more, when the pain becomes unendurable, you end your life! The law does not hold her accountable for her actions. Instead it voids the wishes on your will and hands her the keys to your home! After knowing you for 6 weeks, she takes control of your estate and locks your family from your house while I was faced with the horrible job of burying my son. What do you call a woman who sits through your funeral and then laughs and curses at the arrangments I had just made for you while on the way to the cemetary. She never lifted a finger, made a call or helped in any way, but she felt it was her job to ridicule, hurt and act as disguistingly as I have ever seen a person act before in my life. She sold your assets for cash, kept the money for herself and left the bills to us while she continues to hoard what's left of your belongings for herself like a dog with a bone. The pain she has caused you and I is immeasurable. I'll tell you what I believe ... I believe there are monsters born in the world to human parents. Some you can see, mishapen and horrible, with huge heads or tiny bodies ........ and just as there are physcial monsters, are there not psychic monsters or mental monsters born? The face and body may be perfect, but if a twisted gene or a malformed egg can produce physcial monsters, may not the same process produce a malformed soul? To a woman born without a conscience, a soul-stricken man must seem ridiculous. To a criminal ~ honesty is foolish. Now she's gone and knew all along, she never intended to stay. There are no flowers on your grave from her. You are alone with no family to take care of you. Your friends came to your house the day after your death and in the name of friendship, filled their trucks with your belongings. They claimed to need a "memento" to ease their pain! I thought a memento was a photo or maybe a coffee cup but to my amazement I found they took your computer and printer, golf clubs, bicycle, snow board, figurines from your home and can you believe it Shane, the clothes right out of your closet and all the while she stood there and did nothing! They had to walk over your blood carpet to get to your closet! A carpet which she left laying on the floor, covered in your blood for 7 months after your death. Your friends took the sweater I'd just bought for your birthday! I have never witnessed such appalling and disguisting behaviour. I have never been so disappointed and sickened by another's actions in my life. I am still at a loss for words as I remember that horrible time. If this isn't hell, I don't know what is! I don't understand why those 2 weeks in Kelowna didn't kill me. I'm heart sick, soul sick and very tired. My heart and soul are so bruised and sore that no one can touch me. Nothing can console me. My life means nothing to me now. I do not feel grateful to be alive. I do not feel anything but pain. When I cry out it's the people I never expected that stand watch over me. Thank God for them because if not for them there would be no one. There isn't much anyone can offer me by way of consolation, short of bringing you back. I'm consumed with anger. I still make bargains with God crying out and begging Him to bring you back, and even though I know full well in my head that it's utterly hopeless, I can not stop myself from screaming it. I wish I could go back to the first year where the shock of what happened shielded me from the realization that I now have to endure every moment of every day. I am completely devastated. The suddenness of which I lost you is still a horrific shock to me. I continue to live with constant anxiety, anger, deep sorrow and soul wrenching sadness. Didn't she know how important you were ... to me! Didn't she know that you were irreplaceable ... to me! This woman cares for no one but herself! I think of your fragile state that night and it breaks what's left of my heart because you were too bruised to have the necessary resiliency you needed to survive her and her bitter tongue. She snuck in right under my radar. You once said I was the most loving, kind hearted and forgiving woman you ever knew. I am not that woman any more Shane. That mother died along side her son at 5am on November 12, 2001. She killed both of us! What's left of me believes that people can be cold, calculating, manipulative, narcissistic evil doers who walk over anyone to get to their "pot of gold". They are nothing more than "wastes of skin". I believe that often blame is well deserved. I believe that people get away with murder. I believe that the world is an unfair, miserable place where only evil doers get ahead and I believe that some deeds are truly unforgivable! I will always remember you as the sensitive, generous, fun loving and kind man you were. You are the last person that ever should have taken his own life! There are a lot of people in this world, who should kill themselves ... and I say this with great bitterness ... but those kind never do! I love you and I miss you with every ounce of my heart and soul. Love Always, mom, xoxoxox~ ymf ~


Date: August 14, 2003
Name: Peggy ~ Mother of Stephen Christopher Shane
Dear Son: Another birthday has come and gone. I am heartsick for you. I feel so lost without you and I am missing you so much. Rob was very kind to me on your birthday, and even though he had to work, he left little surprises around the house to help me through the day. He has been taking good care of me. I spent the day with Lacie and Molly. I hugged them close and we even sang Happy Birthday to You! I sent flowers to your grave, how I wish I didn't have to send them there. I got you 12 Happy Birthday balloons and watched from the porch as they flew into the Heavens and cried until I had no tears left. 29 years ago you were born into my arms. It was the happiest day of my life. You brought so much love and joy into my life. I miss you so very much. l will always miss you and I will always love you until we are together again. You are the best parts of me ... I hope I was the best parts of you ... we are the best parts of each other. I love you so much. My heart is broken. I love you sweetheart, my sweet baby boy! Love forever, your mom, xoxox ~ ymf ~