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Can't believe you would leave me this way
Kinda feeling bad from what we did last night
When we were all high
I reached for you, You took me in
As I walked into your dream and I stayed there
I've even forgotten to dream my own dream
And we were one for once, right until the call
From the back I heard something cruel
Confused
Was it the inner duel
That bitchslapped me to think you were in for something else
That I was someone else than love for the night
You say you love me
I come back with: I hate you, then I leave
And pretend that I don't know you
But it only takes a day to
Realize I'm in love again.
I escape into your escape into our very favorite fearscape
It's across the sky and across my heart as I cross my legs
Thinking maybe I ain't used to maybes
Smashing in a cold room, packed into a for by square
And cutting my hands up every time I touch you
But then I could just pretend you love me
While the night would lose all sense of fear
We curling uptight, bodies close, but souls apart
Back in my mind, I try to find:
Why do I need you to love me
When you can't hold what I hold dear?
It's meaningless
I take the hold
It's mindlessness
I lose control
I never asked you to believe in me
But just for once
Can I just have you all mine eternally?
Look, I've been searching for a savior in these dirty streets
Praying for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
Coz I didn't want to make the same mistakes
Got a kick for a dog beggin' for LOVE
I've been raising up my hands above
Drove another nail into my heart and crucified myself
As I recall long ago, I promised not to fall
Said I ain't trippin over you
That you were only just my bi-way, taking me to highways
As I drove closer and closer to you each day
And you further and further apart away
We fought, I said I didn't mean it, you said that t'was fine
I wanna take you back cause I'm havin a change of mind
But sometimes apologising won't do
Then some days I can't live without you
Coz I've been damned, I admit I treated you wrong
I was everybody else's girl maybe one day I'll be my own
Boy, it's not your fault that
Nothing you do is good enough for me
That I must be your first priority
There's so many things I wanted to tell you
So many things to pour my heart to
In this relationship with so many flaws
But you hardly call anymore
From in the shadow I call as the pain crawls
Clutching our faded photograph, my image UNDER my thumb
Can you hear my broken heart?
You see, a cancer grew in me
I've suffered but I've survived
I followed but I was left behind
From the hurts I've inside and I learned
My heart's been dormant for many years
I caged it to protect me from any tears
There's nothing you could do
To undo what I've gone through
So many things you wouldn't understand
Why I hold this omen in my hands
It's nothing about you but everything about me
Though this is not what you deserve
You are my victim, but I know a flaw in my name
As I over-react at mindless lil things
These are the dying days of when you are suffering
I know that I have betrayed you in hate
Now things are getting desperate
I want you, then I get scared what that could bring
Told you to leave but I fear what I'll be regretting
I say I love you
You come back with: I hate you, then you leave
And say you needed to be free
I come back with: stay here please
Give me another chance and let me be?
CONFUSED
Show me the things I've been missin
Show me the ways I forgot to be speaking
Show me the ways to get back to the garden
Show me the ways to get around the get around
Those simple somethings and anythings that used to be me
Line me up in single file
With all your grievances stare
Tell me what to do
I've tripped head over heels on you.
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