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Confused is the word that comes to mind
The anxiety of failures, repeats all through my brain
Still wondering what went wrong?
The negligence of one's company
Slowly builds up the separation of the relationship
With the trust that was valued
Becoming worthless because of hidden truths
Those memories shared
So hard to let go
And are at demand --
To rewind the present to the past
Insisting to correct all errors
That made a gap to our mutuality
Yes--that gap
A something that keeps us both apart
With me still wondering what it is
Is it the unlikeness of my company
And the way I am?
Maybe it's the mistakes that I've done
That made you reject my presence nowadays?
Or it could be vise versa -- who knows?
Somehow I wish you won't need to ignore me that bad
With no particular reason at all
Or at least give me a chance to know what's going on
Let me be updated with your metamorphic moods
You know --
It seems like things are quiet different from before
Haven't you noticed it?
Coz when we talk, (once in awhile now)
You look at me at a far sighted perspective
Even if I'm closeby -- beside you
It's like the me being the window here
Don't you see me? Do you still care?
I stand in front of you but you refuse to look my way
Am I so transparent to you?
So invisible that made you ignore my existence?
I look for you -- and I know I can
It's just that you're always out of my reach
I want to talk to you, (it's not always easy now)
I want to know what's happening in your days
When I do get the chance
It seems like you're in another world
Maybe you're in no need of my sympathy
(And I'll try to understand that)
I guess I should mind only my concerns now
Leaving you alone as you please
Maybe it's better of that way for you
Than it is and will ever be for me
Though keep in thoughts, I'm alive
And it's my very task to help you as I can
Never out of persuasion, but because I care
Still, it's the me being the window here
And I wish you won't need to ignore me that bad
When we talk
You look at me at a far sighted perspective
Even if I'm closeby, you're in another world
It's like missing you so
While I stand, close to you
In the midst of your presence.
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