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For Mommy:
When you say you’re fine
When I know you’re not
It hurts me
Leaving me in a tied knot that
I cannot undo
When you smile sweetly
Even though you’re in pain
It tears me so apart like
I’m screaming within
Into hysterics
You don’t have to hide
What you feel inside
Because I feel you
You’re apart of me
You don’t have to fake
That your life’s not at stake
Because I see you
Your hurt is my hurt too
Mom
It frightens me so
To see you
Late at night
Lying on your bed
So motionless
Like you’re dead
But I know you’re just asleep
When I come close and hear you
Breathe
It burns me so
To see you
Late in the day
Staring at the same wall
Across from the bed
Like you’re in a coma
But I know you’re awake
When I kiss you on the cheek
And you blink
In all my life
I have never seen you
So weak
You were always the one to remind us
To be strong, to smile at problems
To keep our hopes and faith high
To give it all to God
Always
The same woman who gave me this warrior trait
To conquer anything in my way
And to never settle for 2nd best
Because you know well enough that
I'm an exact replica of you
WEll what about you?
What is it w/ you?
I can go on forever about me
And how I deal w/ this parasite
That's practically taken half of my future
Away
I can make you sit and listen to my
Wakin up every morn feeling like
SHIT
Feeling like I haven't slept enough
Even though I had the whole fucking 12 hours
Last night
But do I walk around w/ a poker face?
NO!
I drag myself to work too, Mom
I drag my ass out on times where
I can't breathe properly
My body hurts like hell
My stomach churns and my brain dead
But I just shut up
I've fucking twice the same complaints as you have
Except that it's nothing to do aging
Or your self-pity
See this -
These are the strings from my back
I no longer breathe on pills and needles alone
Aren't you happy I'm finally
Drugs-free?
I am
But I feel so
Weak.
It's not supposed to be this way
Your pain isn't supposed to go beyond
The operation
They took and replaced whatever you lost
But I don't understand why you still feel
Sick
And I...
I have to be like this
For all time
It's not fair, it just isn't
See, when you hurt, I hurt too
But I hurt
Thrice more than you do
I just don't tell you at all
Little to add to your burdens
When I see you hurt Mommy
And you say that you do
Apart from tearing me into pieces
It's like scratching another 10 years
To this incurability.
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