Chapter 36
Prime Minister Wen Leads Three Armies into Battle Deputy Cao Repels the Enemy with Pumps

"Now, considering that the Viceroy's surname means 'words', well, that's a pretty grim omen in itself. To my way of thinking if we hadn't made that move against Governer Zhang De's corruption he would have ended up in a law court sooner or later apologizing on his knees, and Viceroy Wen would have memorialized the throne offering to lead an expedition on behalf of the dynasty against the Xixia rebels, or perhaps Guangnan. He would then be victorious and without fail would be invested as a feudal lord. You never know what's really on a general's mind!"

"Just leave it up to my magic powers to cut this disaster down to size," replied Zuo Chu. "There's no need to fret the imperial family's officials. Who's afraid of an old geezer anyway? So what if he's bent on killing himself?"

"When we began this undertaking," counseled Zhang, "it was all about corrupt officials harming the people, who were all bitter and enraged. We only succeeded because, fortunately for us, a scheming careerist at court hid all the reports and blocked them from reaching the Emperor. Now, however, the court's politics have been cleared up. The politicians are gone and good honest men are back in power. Their sending of a high official in command of an army has created a completely new situation for us. We were only relying on magic previously, content in the knowledge that our opponents were hopelessly incompetent. Please, General, take a few moments to reconsider!"

Pu Ji just stood by silently. Seeing the difference of opinion, Wang Ze got up and left and the others all dispersed. Wang rushed over to his "royal" harem where he met Hu Yong'r and told her all about the conflicting statements he had heard.

"Great King!" she answered. "How can you throw your achievements away and just allow yourself to be crushed with your hands folded? No matter how heavy the burden you've still got my brother and me to rely on! If you're still worried just go and see our mother Holy Auntie again, and you can't lose. You mustn't listen to Zhang and Pu!"

Wang Ze was delighted to hear that. "My Queen is correct!" he pronounced, and that evening he feasted happily before sleeping with Yong'r in her chamber.

Now Pu Ji didn't have anything to say that day. He only thought of how he'd once been a poor travelling merchant until Hu Yong'r fell into that well and caused his run-in with the authorities and forfeiture of his remaining years. Then his teacher fortunately saved his life and extracted revenge. Who could have forseen that Wang Ze would stir up the people to rebel against the imperial court and so harm the balance of the cosmos? Bonze Dan had already silently left, unable to respect Wang Ze. Pu Ji now knew that he had to decide at once, for opposing Viceroy Wen truly made no sense at all. And so that very night he went to see Zhang Ying.

"How could Quezi have disagreed with you like that?" he wondered. "There's nothing to gain and everything to lose in hanging around here any longer, Master. Let's get out while we still can!"

"My thoughts exactly!" said Zhang Ying. "My own master is living in seclusion on Jade Peak atop Mt Tiantai, cultivating the Dao. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were to visit there, to gather mountain plants and cook them with cinnabar to produce a powerful elixar of the fairies?"

And so with their deliberations finished the two of them left Beizhou City under cover of darkness and headed off in the direction of Mt Tiantai. And here is a poem:

Years afterwards when the Emperor Huizong created the scenic Mt Wansui he sent ten emissaries south of the Yangzi to find marble for the project. The group discovered a golden pine tree outside the Jade Capital Cave on Mt Tiantai. It differed from ordinary living pines also in that its branches and tendrils hung like a willow's and its knots were like pearls of jade; this type of tree grew only there in Taizhou, Zhejiang. So delicate and lovely it was, with its trunk twisted around a finely shaped rock. The emissaries staked their claim by affixing a yellow banner with their mission's name above it, and were deciding upon the day for moving it when suddenly an old Daoist came forth from the cave.

"This tree was personally planted by Prince Chongxiao the Skysoarer," he stated. "I've been guarding it for over seventy years and I beg of you, do me a favour and do not move it!"

"What do you expect us to do?" scoffed the officials. "We've already notified the court that we're bringing it in."

"Memorialize again and this time tell them also that Wizard Pu of Zhengzhou requests the favour."

The emissaries just ignored him and instructed the men to begin work, but just as they dug in their shovels there was a sharp crack like thunder heard. That finely worked rock burst apart and the golden pine immediately withered and died. The officials were terrified. Once more the old Daoist began pleading and this time they gave in. The hermit then waved his hand ever so lightly over the rock and magically reconstituted it, restoring the tree to its former flourishing living self. But when the officials memorialized Emperor Huizhong there were still those at court who knew details of the incidents of Renzong's day.

"Prince Chongxiao is none other than Zhang Ying," they answered in declining, "and Wizard Pu is just Pu Ji."

Now , it had already been a century since those times, and with Pu Ji still surviving there could be no doubt that he had become an immortal! But that is a later story.

Let us now return to Wang Ze, who awoke to the shouts of men reporting.

"Zhang and Pu have both secretly run off somewhere!" they informed him. Wang immediately summoned Zuo Chu.

"Zhang Ying was originally not from our branch of the craft," began Zuo. "I daresay he harboured resentment over our disagreement and just left. Pu�@�ii is his disciple and went along with him, but we have never depended on Zhang Ying. You can call with confidence upon Zhang Qi, Ren Qian and Wu Wahng to do your bidding."

Now, those three were nested in their fiefdoms enjoying the good life when they each received a letter from Beizhou and quickly assembled their men and horses to aid in the battle. Wang Ze heard that Viceroy Wen had arrived and so he opened wide the gates of the city, arranging his troops along the wall. Quezi worked feverishly in planning the order of battle, arraying Wu Wahng's troops on the left and Ren Qian's on the right. He placed Zhang Qi and Tao Bixian's men atop the wall to beat their drums ever so slowly. Hu Yong'r personally commanded the mounted troops patrolling outside of the wall.

Viceroy Wen was commanding three separate forces and stood in front of his troops to conduct a dialogue with Wang Ze. Now, Wang had spotted him dismounting and raised a salute. "After seeing the greedy excesses of the district officials I, Wang Ze, came forth on behalf of the people to wipe out the wrongdoing. The masses have placed me in control of this region but we haven't transgressed against others, so what need is there for the imperial court to send so many troops here?"

"We are here today," shouted Viceroy Wen, "Because you have committed those ten abominable crimes against Heaven. Lay down your arms and open the city in accordance with law, for if you dare resist us there's no telling how many of you will die!"

"I've long heard of your famous longevity!" replied Wang at the top of his lungs. "You should have enough sense by now to know to retreat and enjoy the remainder of your years. If you insist on fighting, though, I'm afraid my men might not be so forgiving! You'll be responsible for what happens, not me!"

Viceroy Wen angrily commanded the drummers to commence their tattoo. The vanguard strike force leader Sun Fu then raised his spear and led his men in a charge on the city wall, hoping to capture Wang Ze, who stepped back instinctively upon seeing all those men and horses bearing down on him, allowing Zuo Chu to stand in front. Liu Yanwei was at the side of Viceroy Wen and pointed out Zuo Chu immediately. "That bandit is expert at using sorcery, Marshall!" he advised. "You'd do well to deal specially with him!"

Zuo Chu suddenly fell to his knees in front of the troops and began casting his magic charms. Black clouds, sheets of rain, thunder and lightening then appeared and fireballs shot wildly all about. A whirlwind of yellow sand then arose from the attacking cavalry's midst, rising to obscure the whole sky and totally darken the earth beneath. And within that cloud of yellow sand appeared an immortal with a ghost's face leading a many timberwolves, tigers and leopards in a counterattack on the advancing troops. Now, the soldiers' business was fighting with men; how could they be expected to struggle against ghosts and savage beasts? The warhorses reared in panic, throwing their riders. Seeing Viceroy Wen's army in disarray and swept by pandemonium, Wang Ze seized the opportunity to launch an attack with his cavalry. Viceroy Wen and vanguard leader Sun Fu were badly defeated and forced to flee, and Wang Ze ordered his mounted troops after them in close pursuit. Now, Deputy Commander Cao Wei and Superintendant Wang Xin saw the route of Viceroy Wen's forces underway and led their headquarters troops out of ambush to the rescue. Wang Ze pulled back in caution upon seeing them converging on him, quickly gave the order to regroup and withdrew back into the city.

Viceroy Wen withdrew his armies to about thirty li from the city and dug in at Fujiatuan. Upon counting his soldiers he found that a frightful number had been killed or wounded by both the enemy and each other, and that many had been trampled to death by the horses. Wen and his Deputy Cao Wei, along with Wang Xin and the other commanders then assembled to jointly formulate some new tactics.

In all my hundred or so struggles against the barbarian forces large and small on the western frontiers," said Viceroy Wen, "I never came across anything like that magic of Wang Ze's! Let's hear about how Liu Yanwei fared in fighting those bandits."

"The rebel sorcerers threw up that sandstorm on our first encounter," began Liu Yanwei, "and we lost the battle. I ordered the men to each prepare a dust mask. But then our second attack was repulsed with the beasts and we were beaten again. And so I had the men paint cloth lion floats, as Kong Ming did against the southern tribes. Little did we know that they would meet our third attack with a cold wind and hail and that half of our men and horses would freeze to death. Nobody knows how many tricks that gang of sorcerers have up their sleeves! Only when their sorcery is neutralized can victory be had."

I've heard that there are no more than four or five people in Beizhou who can perform that heterodox black magic," said Deputy Viceroy Cao, "and that all the others just depend on them. Well, I've got an idea that can stop it."

Viceroy Wen was delighted. "Dare I ask what sort of marvelous secret plan can oversome sorcery?"

"That school of magic lore of Wang Ze's is a mixture of what the Buddhists call 'Jingang Zen' and the Daoists refer to as 'Left' or 'Zuo' Dao. Combined like that it's called 'Erhuizi', or 'The Two Crafts.' Anyway they're all heretical. They only fear a mixture of pig and sheep blood, horse urine, dog feces and garlic. A spot of that on their bodies and they cannot conjure up any spirits or ghosts and can do none of their evil magic."

Viceroy Wen then gleefully instructed his troops to get ready for battle by dipping their swords and spears in that blood mixture, and Deputy Cao ordered the preparation of five hundred pumps, their tanks all brimming over with pig and sheep blood. Next he selected five hundred tall, strong soldiers as pumphands and assigned five hundred bowmen to the detail. If any ghosts, spirits, wild beasts or whatever were seen in battle, the pumps and bows would be turned on the enemy simultaneously, and here is a poem:

Viceroy Wen bestowed comforts and rewards upon the soldiery. They rode out the next day, leaving Ming Hao's troops holding the fort at Fujiatuan. The others were all ordered as before to split into three companies, and at about three li from the city they began taking up their offensive positions. The very earth shook from the sound of drumming and their battle cries rose to the sky. Now, Wang Ze's followers had never really been such bold men and only had a childlike reliance upon sorcery to do their fighting for them. They were accustomed to repeated victories and did not take Viceroy Wen seriously. As soon as they heard the news of cavalry again gathering outside the city Zhang Qi, Wu Wahng and Ren Qian met for a discussion.

"We haven't done a bit of attacking since coming to Beizhou," said one. "We only depend on those articles of sorcery and charms of ours. Why don't we participate in fighting this time?" And so the three reported to Wang Ze and asked for permission to lead the main garrison forces out on the offensive.

"Wen Yanbo suffered a big defeat the other day," said Wang Ze. "He was only saved when his right and left flanks came to the rescue. This time Wu Wahng can lead a force to the east to attack his right flank and Ren Qian can take some men to the west to engage the left. Zhang Qi will be the spearhead, joining battle against Sun Fu. The Grand Duke and Marshall and I will be leading the main force. This time we'll capture the old man and solve our problems once and for all!"

And so having received their orders the three rebel commanders marched out of the city and divided up as planned. The five thousand government vanguard troops led by Sun Fu were standing outside the wall challenging the rebels to battle when they were suddenly met head on by Zhang Qi's cavalry. Now, Zhang knew nothing of military science and relied entirely on his little magic gourd vial, which he held in both hands and pointed at the enemy while mumbling that charm. Out of its mouth to the left then poured a huge mountainous wave of water, and to the right a great tongue of flame, rising up to the sky. Heads and faces soaked by the water, hair and brows scorched by the fire, Sun Fu's men were unable to hold their ground and they beat a hasty retreat in fear to the East. Zhang Qi waved toward the fleeing government troops and ordered his men ahead in pursuit. Meanwhile, Wang Ze noticed that his own vanguard had seized the initiative and so he committed a large number of his own troops to engage Viceroy Wen's main force.

A short while later Zuo Chu was standing beneath his battle flag, hair dishevelled and sword at ready, and once again he unleashed a bevy of ghosts and wild beasts. Viceroy Wen merely gave the order to open ranks and then called out the five hundred pumpers and five hundred archers, who attacked as one. The arrows as well had been treated with the repellant; the spirits, ghosts and supernatural beasts had their magical powers broken by the pig and sheep blood and they began fading from sight. Zuo Chu had a great fright at seeing this. When he tried to raise a curtain he was suddenly attacked in full force by Viceroy Wen's charging cavalry and was overwhelmed and routed in defeat. Wang Ze hurriedly led his troops back into the city, hoisted up the drawbridge, shut the great gate and holed up inside.

Now as Wu Wahng chased eastward he chanced to run into Deputy Cao's valiant front line commander Dong Zhong, who singled him out for attack with a spear. As Wu Wahng had a bit of training in childhood he was able to hold his own for twenty rounds when Deputy Cao Wei himself suddenly arrived with his rear area troops. As his two swords were always ready to cut down ghosts and spirits he jumped quickly into the fray to help out. Realizing that he was outclassed Wu mounted his horse and soared off into the sky as if on wings. Deputy Cao could only stand and watch. Now, remember that Sun Fu was leading his retreating forces to the east. He suddenly looked up and saw that horse and rider galloping by high up in the sky, scores of metres above earth, and he reckoned that it was a sorcerer. And so he hurriedly took out his bow, dressed it with an arrow and shot straight up at belly of the flying horse. Now that arrow had been dipped in the foul blood, and Wu's horse was one that the sorcerer's had created with scissors and paper and brought to life by a charm. Struck by that arrow it changed right back into a papercutting, sending Wu Wahng plunging to earth. Sun Fu whirled his horse round, hoping to capture him alive when suddenly Zhang Qi's pursuing army caught up. Zhang saw the falling soldier and recognized Wu Wahng just in time to catch him. But just then Deputy Cao's large force arrived and Zhang prudently beat a hasty retreat, holding onto Wu in the saddle. Straight back to the city they rode, screaming outside the raised drawbridge and locked gate until they were admitted. Their soldiers were not so lucky; with the door slammed in their faces, they were forced to surrender to Deputy Cao's forces, devil take all.

That left Ren Qian, who had transformed his bench into a giant tiger as Hu Yong'r had taught him to. He was flying around proudly on its back, feeling invincible in the sky while leading his army westward. Now, one of Superintendant Wang Xin's commanders, the valiant Liu Chunsheng, had grown up in a hunter's household and knew good sport when he saw it; he was a leader of infantrymen, armed with a steel trident. At first he thought he was facing a real tiger as it passed low and he dabbed at it with his weapon. Seeing the attacker a bit too close for comfort Ren Qian pulled back on the tiger's yoke and went soaring way up into the sky, where he had his mount bare its fangs and claws before diving on Liu, who jumped back expertly and in the twinkling of an eye stabbed the beast in the tail as it passed, shouting in triumph as hunters do. With a weak pathetic sound that giant creature fell to earth, no longer a beast of prey but appearing instead as a plain bench. For one thing, being originally wood it yielded to the strength of steel, but for another the trident had been dipped in that foul, bloody ghost repellant and so all of the magic had been neutralized and dispersed. Re Qian had landed on his feet and tried to escape but was dropped by a poke of Liu's fork between his shoulderblades and was quickly tied up. His men, leaderless, all ran for their lives.

With this final series of routes and slaughters the three armies of Viceroy Wen achieved control of the countryside. Now they were encamped at the foot of the Beizhou City wall, ceremonially presenting their booty in tribute to the commander. Liu Yanwei offered the many paper and ricegrass cuttings and red or white beans that remained of the many weird beasts that had been neutralized by the force of the ghost repellant. Vanguard leader Sun Fu had that little paper horse of Wu Wahng's to give as a memento of the battle. Deputy Viceroy Cao presented the commander with over a thousand enemy captives while Wang Xin's man Liu Chunsheng bound over one of the principal rebels, Ren Qian, along with the bench that remained of his magic flying tiger.

Viceroy Wen wrote down a record of their accomplishments one after another and then took custody of Ren Qian, to personally conduct a proper and careful interrogation. Only then did he discover that there were only six ringleaders with Wang Ze, and that Zhang Qi, Ren Qian and Wu Wahng were a seperate group. He learnt as well that Bonze Dan had left first and that Zhang Ying and Pu Ji had fallen out with Zuo Chu and fled. At the moment there were only four main instigators: Hu Yong'r, Zuo Chu, Zhang Qi and Wu Wahng. And he heard of the existance of Holy Auntie, the mother of Hu Yong'r, who was not in regular contact with them. Now, Viceroy Wen remembered how Grand Dragon Bao had warned him on the eve of his departure for the front that Bonze Dan was particularly dangerous. Learning that he was not in the city had taken a big worry off of Wen's mind. With the interrogation concluded the captives were assembled marched over to be guarded by by Ming Hao's troops. All now awaited the capture of Wang Ze and the elimination of his capital. Every morning they soaked their heads in that foul blood, for none were in a mood to relive what they had been through in the course of the campaign. And here is a poem:

Wang Ze had lost that battle and many men and horses with it, including Ren Qian. It was as if a sizable chunk of his forces had been carved away by a knife, while Viceroy Wen's grand army seemed to be growing. The surrounding population was eager to see Beizhou fall quickly and so volunteers and cash poured in from the countryside as soon as word of his victory spread.

The viceroy ordered five hundred men off into the mountains for timber to make the machines of war he would need in taking the city, such as scaling ladders, catapults and rocket launching racks. Within a few days he then gave the order to take the city. But when his troops moved to attack the city wall they saw only mysterious dark clouds and black fog that suddenly rolled out to hide it. High up in the sky appeared the face of a god and down rained venomous snakes and fierce beasts. The troops were unable to take the wall and suffered many losses. They continued trying for two or three days without success.

Viceroy Wen was sitting and brooding in his tent, holding a candle that illuminated his desk and quarters with its flickering light when suddenly a frigid blast of wind passed through, and a beautiful woman appeared kowtowing before him with a white chord tied round her neck.

"I'm here with imperial authority leading a grand army!" shouted the Viceroy. "How dare a witch like you come barging in!"

"I am no sorceress," replied the kneeling woman, "but Zhao Wuxia, the wife of Guo Yi of this district. Wang Ze adored my features and so he forcefully took to be his wife, but I was determined to resist him and I managed to hang myself in defiance. Now I am buried in a shallow grave under one of your armies' camps and I was shaken by all of their shouts and cries. I beg you, oh Prime Minister, rebury my body over ten li from here so that I may enjoy the eternal hospitality of the Nine Springs."

"So, you're a loyal wife!" exclaimed the Viceroy. "I'm sorry for the disrespect I showed a moment ago. I see that your spirit has not been extinguished, and you will certainly get the satisfaction of seeing that bandit finally wiped out."

"He is indeed bound for the devil!" said the woman. "But the coming three days hold great danger for you, old Prime Minister. You should be cautious!"

Now, Viceroy Wen was sorely afraid, and this matter will surely have its consequences. The devil king of ghosts and monsters will be pulverized by a thunderbolt to the head...the twisted, heterodox evil of the sorcerers will retreat into darkness, and bodies will all be cut apart by knives and swords. Really:

If you wish to know just how the story's ending bodes, read on and see what happens in the coming episodes.

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