April 23 Picture of the day-

1 . Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster
 than an ambulance.

 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in
 front of a skating rink.

 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all
 the way to the back of the store to get their
 prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at
 the front.

 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese
 burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and
 chain the pens to the counters.

 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of
 dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the
 garage.

 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to
 screen calls and have call waiting so we won't miss a
 call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first
 place.

 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in package of ten
 and buns in packages of eight.

 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to
 describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning
 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines
 with Braille lettering.

 11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live
 in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White
 House. (Ouch!)

April 24 Picture of the day-

See a difference???

April 24 Joke of the day-

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for
a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A
man was shown threatening to jump from the
Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't
jump, and the redhead replied, 'I'll take that
bet!'
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave
the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said 'I
can't take this, you're my friend.'
The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'.
So the redhead said 'Listen, I have to admit, I
saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take
your money'.
The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never
thought he'd jump again
 

April 25 Picture of the day-

April 25 Joke of the day-

There was a girl and her mother walking in a park one day. The girl sees two monkeys having sex. The girl says "mommy, what are they doing?''
The mother thinks quickly and says ''they are making cupcakes honey''.
The next day they are at the park and they see two teenagers having sex.
The girl asks again ''mommy what are they doing?''
The mother again says ''makin cupcakes honey''
The next day the little girl says to here mom
''Mommy were you and Daddy making cupcakes last night?''
The mother says ''why yes honey, how did you know that?''
The little girl says
'' Because I licked the frosting of the couch ''
 

April 26 Picture of the day-

April 26 Joke of the day-

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplug it.

April 27 Picture of the day-

April 27 Joke of the day-

Once there was a nun and a preist traveling through the
desert on a camel. The camel died of heat. The nun and
priest were sure they were as good as dead to. Since they were
both virgins they decided to have sex. So the nun took of her robe.
The priest looked at her and said what are those?
She said these are breasts they feed the young.
The priest dropped his pants. The nun starred and said what is that?
The priest says ''It is a penis''. ''If used properly it can bring life''. And the nun
said,
'' well stick it is the camel and get us the hell out of here''

April 28 Picture of the day- No updated picture.
April 28 Joke of the day- No updated joke.

April 29 Picture of the day-

April 29 Joke of the day-

An old man and an old woman are sitting in a nursing home and the old man says "I bet you can't guess how old I am." The old woman says "okay, unzip your pants." The old man unzips his pants and the woman sticks here hand in and plays around for a minute, she pulls her hand out and says "you're 89." The old man looks at her increduously and asks "how did you know that?" The old woman says "you told me yesterday!"

April 30 Picture of the day-

April 30 Joke of the day-

Tom's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear says, "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or Two, we have sex." Tom bends over for the bear. He's sore for two days, but he recovers and vows revenge.
Tom heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got two choices, Either I maul you to death or we have sex." Tom bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover. He's outraged.
Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

May 1 Picture of the day-

May 1 Joke of the day-

May 2 Picture of the day-

May 2 Joke of the day-

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last
minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at
short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby
looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of
staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short
notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers
in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff
about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very
good chef. The meal went okay but the President was sure that the soup
tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have
stomach cramps and nausea.
It was getting worse and worse till finally he had to excuse himself from
the state dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he
caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him
feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was
so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.
He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a
door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realised to
his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his
trousers around his knees.
As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her
president whisper in a barely audible voice, "sack my cook".
And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

May 4 Picture of the day-

\I'm the King of the world!

May 4 Joke of the day-

Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House. When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well, they rang the Oval Office and Bill answered.
Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard" You got me pregnant!!!"
The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"