1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I     know
 where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours?  Do I     point at my
 crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
 2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no    dick.
 3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
 room
 for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV     and change the
 channel manually.
 4. When people say "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat     it
 too."
 Fuck off! What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
 5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of     course
 it
 is.  Why the fuck would you keep looking after  you've found it?  Do
 people
 do this?  Who and where are they?
 6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?"     No
 ASSHOLE, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at   the friggin
 ceiling up there.
 7. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"..... Didn't really    give
 me a
 choice, did ya there, buddy?
 8. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new,  then
 there has never been anything before it. If it's an     improvement, then
 it
 must not be the first one!!
 9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast     you
 were
 going? You should know asshole-you fucking pulled   me over!