Awkwardness makes life hell. I don't mean the awkwardness as in "look it's a shiny pencil" and everyone shifts away. No, I'm referring to once some unfortunate words get out, it becomes awkward between two people. Seriously, you could say Heil Hitler and people won't think of it again, but saying "hey you're hot" and they'll avoid you for life. Hm, bad examples. Anyway, this sudden spark of people being awkward around others' presences, I shall make a list of all the dumbass things I can remember doing.

1. Tripped over a leaf, took Mel down with me
2. Had a hanger tube in my mouth when falling off a teater-totter
3. Bus. Just the bus. Dave shut up. lol
4. Didn't like Cold sooner.
5. Obsessed over someone to the point I wrote a poem not intending their viewing of it, and well they now hate me.
6. Made this site in the first place.

2004-02-27

Why do people change? Well this question can be answered a multitude of ways. One is in my case that I hate just about every decision I make that screws shit up or wrecks something else. Another reason people change is not necessarily their personality, but mainly their reactions towards the person in the first example. So let's say I change from being a dumbass to a more reserved-dumbass, then the other person who was cool cuts that link of coolness around you, but expresses it around other people to make up for the absent-released coolness. Does this make sense? Well it makes mostly sense within the ramblings. So I think I'm going blind like Gena, except I'm not really doing anything to prevent it. This monitor seems to want me to stare into it and forget to blink, so I think it's literally dissolving a layer of my eyeball.Ohh spiffy. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? ABSTINENCE IS NOT FUN! When the person you'd rather meet wants you to die (figuratively, but I woudldn't doubt literally) and the person who wants to meet you turns you off, kills the mood! Whoa, sudden anger but seriously, it's so fucked. Well, in other news, Sears Fest is taking over, my friend. It's like cancer; it spreads from one organ to another.. haha pun pun pun! Ah, if only someone understood that. Anyways, nice ranting (and no one told you you had to read this), so let's assume the e-dust is having a partay!

2004-02-24

Can I hear a shut the hell up to this emo shit?! lol Seriously, has anyone actually listened to me lately? Hopefully not, lol it's just a waste of both our time. So I was at church today and I heard my bird scream. Now see I don't have a bird anymore, nor did it scream.. It must have been those stupid babies. When I realized it was a baby, I asked myself: what would you do if you lived in a shoe? Well the answer would be.. get a baby and staple it to the doormat outside the shoe, to let people know babies are not allowed in alive! lol kids are evil, what can you expect.. they wanted it this way.. you know it! So this is my new blog, writing my never-sense-making thoughts out so you, the e-dust, can gather amongst it. So I have to admit, I'm kind of missing the one hour of Marissa I get a week. Lmao (it's supposed to be jesus, but mawbaw disappeared and we didn't do anything this weekend! damn you windsor-mover!) So I suffered a tragic loss Friday.. my keyboard had a tragic accident with water.. in which I lost ability to actually hold my water near it and it kind of wrecked many functions of it. With desperation, I ran to Radio Shack wearing my ugly ass white DMX shoes, but fortunately they are now brown from this Canadian weather. Haha. Well I must complain.. dentyne ice loses its flavour way to quickly lately.. maybe it's the fact I chew it a shitload faster than normal people, or I have a gum-chewing disability.. but what happened to the flavour lasting an hour or more? Intense lost its flavour in under 30 minutes.. honestly. This morning I woke up at 8am, and all I could think about was Sears Fest and how I planned to leave early, or if luckily I called Maw and she told me that Jenn was walking Tequila and both got hit by a car. So then I could have a reason to suddenly need to go home, because in this situation, Maw was going to pick me up from school. Now I'm not that sadistic in thinking it would be good if one of my best friends got into an accident, but if it was serious enough to worry me but not enough as a life-threatening situation.. what's the harm in that? That way I could tell off the stupid bastards at Sears Fest without needing to explain myself afterwards! So Carla, you're a bitch. dude, seriously how can anyone be that much of a bitch? You found a way. Haha, just kidding.. Go Maple Leafs! March 1st, we get to perform the 1940/50s murder mystery in front of 10s of people, not hundreds, 10s of people after school. If I were you I'd go, just to laugh at me. C'mon now, who doesn't want to see a German Nazi in a bar with funny glasses? I WOULDN'T! Yeah that's right, I sure wouldn't want to see it because we don't even have all our costumes, which leads me to the explanation of why Carla is a bitch. She was supposed to call and whatnot, but I really don't care that she didn't.. this way I didn't have to go out of my way to get my costumes, but she probably will. The window of opportunity closed, my past obsession. HA don't worry, no more of that "omg I want you so bad" shit because today is not that day.. that day was yesterday and I really hate myself for being allowed to exist yesterday. If you find there is an abnormal amount of words without capital lettering, it's because of this new keyboard that decides it's going to be difficult. mmm Water, now whenever I'm on this keyboard, I crave the unflavoured thirst-quencer, water. Now what's gross is the water at Maria's in Aburg, because it tastes like soap and it's probably filled with HMV, like Mel's chair. I must admit, I should thank Mel for making me go into Sf, because now whenever I'm in a bad mood like yesterday, all I think of is "Did you just say you want me to lick your ass? YEAH! Lick my ass bitch!" LMAo booya, the neverending mood-killer. So alls is well and ends well, well no I lied. I'm glad I have this small text area to expand to fit my random thoughts, because it allows me to write any thought I think of at that time. I must stop now before I create an addiction. Lmao! So anyways, I think I'm not only boring myself but I am boring the e-dust. Good collecting men.

2004-02-22

I see that face with piercing eyes
It fills me with such deadly lies.

2004-02-21