A Redneck Love Poem

  • Collards is green,
  • My dog's name is Blue and
  • I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
  • Yore hair is like cornsilka-flapping in the breeze.
  • Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
  • You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
  • You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
  • Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
  • Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"right out of the can.
  • You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
  • I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
  • On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
  • Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
  • Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
  • Yo're as cute as a junebuga-buzzin' overhead.
  • You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
  • Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
  • When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
  • Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
  • Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
  • Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
  • Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
  • They git it at Walmart,it's romantic that way.
  • Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger.
  • That's impressive," I say.
  • Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
  • "Diamonds are forever,"they explain, suave and couth.
  • But for this man, honey, these won't do.
  • Cause yor'e too special,you sweet thang you.
  • I got you a gift,without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds......
  • IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR

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