Dear Reader, this was supposedly the big change, the big
turn around in COBU. This meeting was the beginning of a new era. I wrote
a "Mike Montoya visits the Grace Meeting" where I make comments at this meeting
as though I was actually there. I want you to recognize
that Stewart's tone is the same as it always was. Look at the way the "repentant"
Stew treats the sister who questions him (real humble). Try to figure
out who is at fault for this 17 years of FF/COBU teaching. Was it God's plan, or was it
Stewart's error, or did the devil arrange it, or were the brothers and sisters at
fault for not noticing, not checking their Bibles. Stew
manages to repent but says it was a divine plan/but we should have told him/
but the devil arranged it. And near the end of the tape, in red print, is the
most disgusting statement of this meeting. He wants to discuss the brethren
forgiving him "as a subject". AS A SUBJECT!!!!... Read but don't weep for Stewart.
Weep for the brothers and sisters who stayed and bought this garbage. Note
the way Stew talks about his own salvation. This was a sick meeting. And if
you didn't know, this was really to cover his sin at Princeton toward the
sisters; sins he never brought up and never made right. So all of this
is a smoke screen. My comments are in Blue. Each Link is an audio file dowload of the meeting. It may take a some time to download to your computer but I think it's worth it. This is evident or proof for those in and out never to listen to Stewart Traill again.
Stewart is in the black print
the ( ) are the voices
of the brothers and sisters collectively
These are the audio files of the Grace Meeting of 1989. The files are 15- 17 minutes long. They are 3.5 to 4.0 megs in measure. If you have a Microsoft Media Player, you should be able to hear the parts as you read them. If not then print out the transcript and listen on Quicktime. If you do not want to hear this meeting but want or need a real reason never to listen to ST again, then download the files and keep them on tape or on your hard drive.
Secion 1 Part 1
By Grace you are saved never by faith ..by grace
You’ve heard it how often? (a bunch of times) You were in fact, as Gayle
pointed out, kept in
restraint. You were kept under tutors until this day. There is also, in no
way to excuse my
...error...There is also an amazing working of God in all this too, not to
excuse at all...not to
excuse me at all.....That’s one will have to get into...there is this in
Job “ Behold you have
instructed many and now it has come to you.” “Nevertheless if the Son makes
you free,
you will be free indeed...(thank you Jesus) A child as long as he is a child
is no better than
a slave...he is under tutors until the day the father appoints...you better
be glad you
were..and there is this too...you better be glad you were...the alternative
is
worse..appauling as this is... If I hadn’t grabbed you ...what then?( saved
from my own
backsliding...I can see in my own life where I was headed, I might be dead...I
can honestly say I might be physically dead)
Yet as I said all along..but my spirit didn’t mean it ..it’s not me doing
it ..it’s God doing it...and it was!
You’ve all been reading Romans a lot lately(yes)...you’ve all been
reading Romans a lot(yes)..and could not notice this? well , it is clear
that God has decided that it is time for you to transfer your allegiance,
if that’s the word, from my spirit to His Spirit(yes..thank you Jesus).
there are deeply ingrained ideas and feelings..running wild in our fellowship,many
of them directly or indirectly can be traced back to my error.Everything
has to be re-examined. And this is a good time to do it...What has happened
is this..this is another set of..some sort of ah ah...some sort
of tying my error to your problem....and ..ah..how do you think I’m doing
Gayle?.....
Gayle: I’m not really sure”..
.Stewart: in speaking anyways....
Gayle: no answer.....
Stewart: I have been unable to speak almost right Gayle?
Gayle: yeah
It is again only His grace that I am even physically able to speak
right now.. that is coherent...I have been a help in many ways..but have
torn down in others...we have come to depend on faith instead of Jesus.....by
faith....the stress is subtle yes... “it’s up to you and your faith”...is
that the idea that you have?(yes)...Some how I cheerily bounded off
with that idea...and the brothers couldn’t keep up with me...faith in His
love but it’s up to you...somehow...these are absurdities...Why did God allow
this? You think it must be because of wrong in me...”(yeah,muttering)
this illness is not unto death..it is for the glory of God”... yer saying
that kind of thing? Unless...then there’s me ...how can this be?
Furthermore....Furthermore.. let us let us erase this whole meeting now...this
has never happened....even so I would not rightly..now again..forget the
wrong... but I was not rightly strengthening the brothers... you don’t think
so? see you say “oh you’ve been so much help.” go ahead say it...(yeah yes)....it
yet remains it’s not true...I haven’t been...what then?...Jesus told the
parable...there was a rich man...with a trunk put all kinds of money in...and
the woman put one penny in...now what’s the point?(guessing) I could cheerily
keep going this way I could..I could cheerily keep going..but in affect I
was just saying to the brothers..what it comes down to whether I thought
I was doing what it comes down to is saying”well..it’s up to you..you gotta
be faithful”and so forth. So where is strengthening the brothers the
real way?It isn't. Strengthening the brothers in faith that you are his chosen..first
and foremost...and I am not ..to my shame. building up on the one hand
and tearing down with the other..bull in a china shop..I hear my friend back
there.....it really has been...and I want you to know something else...are
you listening?(yes) you must understand this..how...hard to believe again...this
is nothing...there is a real way in which I have been as or more a victim
than you ...now think of that...you didn’t waste 25 years...and had he not
rescued me as he rescued you a short while ago... I wonder what would have
become of you...it was that bad. Getting that bad...this has been a stumbling
block for all of us including me...poison talk... “ God gives you what you
need to get started and then it’s up to you” ...my my ...look...how easily
everyone is returning now..how easily!(yes). Why is it so easy? They are
returning so easy. Because He’s doing it(yes..yeah).And all this error...he
is overlooking as it were and bringing us back... but enough is enough. Putting
to death “I can do this part over here myself.” I can see that working in
me. That's what the brothers...and I would forever teach about Samson...and
I am the most...and I’m not a hypocriteI’m not a hypocrite...you understand
this? (yeah) you don’t get that?(yes) How many of you don’t? He doesn’t.
How many don’t understand that? Gayle how bout you defend me..
Gayle : because um in teaching about Samsom the way that Stewart
Stewart: while I just....I did it in ignorance
Gayle: Yeah the way he was doing it himself...
Stewart: a hypocrite knows he was
Brothers and sisters: right yes yeah
Gayle: Nobody was telling him “Look, yer doing it this way..and there was
nobody telling him....
Sister 1: Nobody tried telling Stewart before? I just find it
hard to believe
Stewart: Let’s hear it.
Sister 1:(I don’t want to be judgmental)..
Stew: yeah Let’s hear it
Sister 1: I find it hard to believe ..So many brothers talked about it...I
was always under the impression that they wrote you letters and tried to
tell you, I mean that’s what I always heard..........and I don’t even know
the whole truth, but David Wilkerson told brothers and sisters that he tried
to talk to you and that you wouldn’t listen to him, I don’t want to be judgmental,I
know I have a lot of faults too..I just think you had to have some clue..you
pushed everybody away and made it so hard for everyone to talk to you Part 2 of the Grace Meeting
Stewart: And you’re glad I did to, aren’t you?
Sister 1: yeah but I..
Stewart: Listen..,Let’s start over..you said “A lot of brothers and sisters
think about this..No they don’t. They never never never thought that this
was bad. No they never thought they thought there was something wrong of
course! Of Course! there’s someth.. they didn’t think anything of this. And
neither did I. Now you say didn’t anyone try to talk to me. Well friends
like him. “How you have helped me,” and David Wilkerson...well I don’t
remember..this was 25 years ago?(yeah) And if my old wine is this bad what
must the new wine have been? I don’t know what I was doing with him...I don't
remember anyway .I don’t know what I was trying to say..it maybe as bad as
him..I don’t know. there is this also. Me and other Christians. You know
that scripture “ Woe to him who is alone when he falls.”(yes) Well I know
that scripture, you don’t. I know that now. You don’t know what that means.
Why am I alone? Why is it that there is no fellowship between me and other
Christians? First of all, I gave up long ago. That was my sincere claim.
But why , what was the trouble in the first place? Perhaps it was..while
insisting...perhaps they were trying to land me with grace..now I doubt it...now
I doubt it. But! it may have been, that may have been the case. Perhaps
someone did somewhere, had to have been way back. Perhaps someone did try.
Perhaps someone noticed. I have no way of dealing with it. No memory no...I
repeat what I said , I think if you showed this, they would murmur nice things
instead of throw up. What do you think?(yes yeah) Well try it! Try whoever
can..you want to..
Brother 1: I did show somebody and they thought it was wonderful..
Stewart: I am afraid that’s what would happen...I am afraid that’s what would
happen But you know , but you know it isn’t right to do really. Because then
it is to their shame.Yer just sticking pins in em. And even if you then try
to argue and correct them as I might have done 20, 25 years ago tried to
do...for an argument , to learn, some such thing....Let’s hear some more
what you find hard to believe..cuz I do too.
Sister 2: I find it hard to believe...how I often...and we all so often say
“By the Grace of God....and hearing you speak to us...I now see how those
words were empty
Stewart: that’s right
Sister 2: I wasn’t conscience of what I was really saying, just what I was
taught
Stewart: And who is the emptiest of all....me....I was devoid, I was unconscience
of grace. I really wonder if some of you were more aware of grace than I.
I really think so because it’s zero with me.
Sister 3 : I remember too
Stewart: There might as well not been the word in the bible.
You never heard me say 2 words. Did you ever discuss grace, anyone of you?(yes)
Wait a minute, wait a minute, she’s first anyway, wait a minute, listen ,
did any of you ,just raise your hand, did any of you discuss grace a year
ago and more with anybody? Well then yer way ahead of me!... way ahead right
there. Because , to you , the word existed and that’s way ahead of me.
