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Keeping Up Appearances

Hyacinth Bucket
When it comes to trying to show your best face, Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced 'bouquet') is simply in a class of her own. Obsessed with etiquette and social class, she presides over 'little candlelit dinners', 'in-door out-door buffets', bans the use wearing shoes indoor, of the back door, and ensures her empty milk bottles sparkle on her doorstep. Her  husband, Richard, has become resigned to his miserable life - but unfortunately her own family let it be known to the world the side down badly. Frightfully common, they are a source of constant shame for super-snob Hyacinth. Award-winning actress Patricia Routledge plays Roy Clarke's comic monster in a role which British and American audiences have taken to their hearts.
Managed by Daniel Berry

Welcome all!

Index



Characters
Photos
The Episodes
Specials
Production Details
 
 



Characters

  At the Bucket Residence
Hyacinth Bucket, pronunced bouquet by those who knowHyacinth's husband

At Elizabeth's
Hyacinth's friend, who lives next door.Liz's brother, who is a musician

At the house where there is no room for a pony or a Mercedes
Hyacinth' father, who is always walking offHyacinth's brother in law.  He always shows up to spoil Hyacinth's dreams.Hyacinth's sister, who is married to Onslow.Hyacinth's sister, she is always having man trouble.Hyacinth's sister, she is always having man trouble.

At the house where there is room for a pony and a Mercedes
Hyacinth's brother in law.  He always shows up to spoil Hyacinth's dreams.Hyacinth's sister, married to Bruce.

At the Vicarage
The Vicar, Father Mike.  He always sees Hyacinth's family in the worst light.Vicar's wife.


Photos



I think this could be from many of her shows
"This is the Bouquet residence"

From What To Wear When Yachting  (18-Oct-92)
"I'm trying to go that way!"

Oh nice!
"I am completely surrounded by NO BEER!"

From A Riverside Picnic (24-Sep-95)
"Someone must of thrown Hyacinth overboard"

Hello all!
"Now what are they going to do?"
 
 
 


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The Episodes



"Daddy's Accident" (29-Oct-90)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
 Dreadful news concerning Daddy! Richard takes Hyacinth to Daisy's, her sister for the details, not fit to be heard over Hyacinth's pearl-white slimline telephone.  Daddy was injured near the canal while chasing the milkwoman on his bicycle. Hyacinth understands the situation immediately. Poor Daddy! He is simply fond of milk products and wanted to order extra cream, yea right!. She and Richard proceed to hospital, were Daddy is heavily sedated. He was found stark naked, according to the doctor. Hyacinth states, "Well, he would be, wouldn't he? He removed his garments before diving into the canal to save the milkwoman!" Hyacinth demands to see the extent of Daddy's injuries, which, shaken by the sight, she then refuses to reveal to Richard, thus protecting his delicate sensibilities. Home again. Liz comes for coffee, which they drink from Hyacinth's Royal Doulton cups with the handpainted periwinkles and Liz performs what is to be her first of many unsuccessful acrobatic feats. After a very hectic day, Hyacinth is preparing her candlelight supper when dear Sheridan phones. Isn't the bond between him and his mummy strong? He needs L50. This emergency dealt with, Major Wilton-Smythe phones. He offers Hyacinth flowers for her candlelight supper table. She pops along to his conservatory. He gives her the flowers and tries to give her something else too, but she escapes and returns home to the protective arms of her dear hubby, Richard, she and her bouquet looking somewhat the worse for wear.
Series 1, Episode 1

"The New Vicar" (5-Nov-90)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth and Elizabeth go through a dress rehearsal for the special occasion. "There must be wholesome, non-controversial conversation, and if it flags, I will whip out the album of snaps of dear Sheridan throughout his life." states Hyancith. Meanwhile her sister Rose, at Daisy's house, threatens suicide, broken-hearted over Mr. Hepplewhite, who has gone back to his wife. During tea for the vicar and his wife, Rose appears and finds the Vicar to be very handsome. Then Onslow and Daisy show up and give the vicar a sight to remember.  The Vicar ends up down the street with Rose all over him as his wife, left behind, stews. What a disaster, utters Hyacinth.
Series 1, Episode 2

"Stately Home" (12-Nov-90)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth commands Richard to drive to Daisys, as she decides she cannot go blithely off to Carldon Hall without first visiting Daddy. Approaching Daisy's door, Hyacinth meets the newest addition to the family, Onslow's dog. Daisy serves tea in her cracked mugs and Hyacinth gives Richard a disapproving look. He reassures her with a broad wink. She visibly relaxes against the sofa cushion and -- crunch! -- one of Onslow's empty bevvies is now prepared for recycling! Her duty done,
Hyacinth and Richard drive on to Carldon Hall. Hyacinth stations herself outside the door to the family apartments. She mets her Ladyship at a garden party and once she catches their eye, they'll be honor bound to invite the Buckets to tea. The aristocracy always recognize quality. 'Why am I wearing this hat?' she asks Richard, for which he has no ready answer. "Oh no! Is that Onslow's voice? What's he doing here? Come to rescue Richard? Richard doesn't need rescuing. He's in very capable hands." Hyacinth states as she takes his arm. It is time to leave Carldon Hall. On their way to the car, Richard and Hyacinth pause momentarily behind a low wall in the garden -- excuse me -- this is an area not open to the public. 'It's all right,' Hyacinth tells the gardener, 'I'm an old friend of her Ladyship.' Driving home, Hyacinth is heard to remark, 'How was I to know he wasn't the gardener? They must be very low down on the aristocratic scale if his Lordship looks like a gardener!'
Series 1, Episode 3

"The Charity Shop" (19-Nov-90)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Richard's off to work, but he's forgotten something -- Hyacinth's goodbye kiss. Was it worth returning for? On the less fortunate side of town, an old lady -- Daddy's fiancee -- has arrived. Daisy phones Hyacinth. Her dilemma: Liz must drive her to Daisy's without seeing Daisy's deplorable house. Hyacinth springs into action, leaving Liz in the car at a safe distance, studying an informative newspaper article. At Daisy's, Hyacinth investigates and ferrets out the necessary information. Liz drives Hyacinth to the old lady's house and Hyacinth commands her son to collect his mother. Hyacinth and Liz arrive to work at the Charity Shop. Mrs  ouncillor Nugent is in charge. There's more to life than being all dolled up for the opposite sex, she informs them just as Rose comes to donate her things. She won't need them now Mr Blenkinsop has left . Hyacinth phones Richard, who leaves work to drive her to Daisy's. Rose thinks the old lady's son could replace Mr Blenkinsop. He leaves at once, Mother in tow. Meanwhile, Mrs Councillor Nugent returns Rose's 'x- certificate underwear'. To save Rose further embarrassment, Hyacinth speaks to Mrs Nugent through the letterbox in her best Norwegian accent, reminiscent of the disagreeable aunt in the West End musical, 'I Remember Mama'. But enough. Richard must get back to the office. And Hyacinth to the Charity Shop, where shirts -- Onslow -- are available at giveaway prices.
Series 1, Episode 4

"Daisy's Toyboy" (26-Nov-90)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Ladies luncheon
At another church event, table setting is supervised by Hyacinth. All the other women except Elizabeth quickly disappear to the back room. Meanwhile, Daisy tries to make Onslow jealous with a motorcycling 17-year-old 'toy boy', a cast-off of Rose, who helps her to dress properly for this new role. Onslow hunts up Richard, feeling sorry for him and wanting to take him out drinking. He finds R. at the church, where Hyacinth, embarrassed as usual at Onslow's appearance urges them to go around back. Little does she know a hymn sing is in progress in back. In a great finale they both end up hymn-singing with the Ladies' Circle as Daisy roars in on motor- cycle with toy-boy, and Hyacinth looks on in horror.
Series 1, Episode 5
 

"The Christening" (3-Dec-90)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Daisy and Onslow's unwed daughter has had a child. The christening is to take place at a local church (not that with the dishy vicar attended by Hyacinth. and Elizabeth), and Onslow has organized a gathering to be held afterwards at a local pub. But all wait at the church in vain -- no daughter and baby appear. It starts to rain. Word comes that the party has a dead battery on a nearby country road. Richard and Hyacinth volunteer to go pick them up. After driving too far, it gradually becomes clear that the colorful van with hippies standing near it that they passed must have been their party. Richard, with jumper cables, gets their van started, as he and H. try to ascertain which of the two male hippies is the father. (They both claim to be). Then Richard's car quits and cannot be started, and they all must ride back to the church in the van. You should see Hyacinth's expression as she extricates herself from it in front of the waiting crowd at the church.
Series 1, Episode 6
 

Series Two



"A Strange Man" (1-Sep-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
A strange man in a towel is seen by Hyacinth early in the morning collecting the milk from Elizabeth's front step, then hastening back into her house. Hyacinth is agog at the possibilities.  Hyacinth makes Richard late for work and commands him to give a speech the Liz about the dangers of strange men.  Richard pays Liz the visit, but Hyacinth discovers that the stranger is none other than Liz's brother, who has just had a divorce.
Series 2, Episode 1

Driving Mrs Fortescue (8-Sep-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

What a coup! Mrs Fortescue -- her sister married a baronet -- has chosen Richard and Hyacinth to drive her to town. Hyacinth rehearses Richard in correct conversation, posture, doorbell ringing, and smiling. Violet interrupts, phoning about Bruce. He's gone off again, to Sherwood Forest, as Maid Marian. At Mrs Fortescue's, Richard performs admirably, though the old lady's walking stick strikes him very oddly as he helps her into the car. He should try to be more sociable. Driving into town, Richard has the benefit of two back-seat drivers to guide him and -- isn't that Rose and Daisy at the bus stop? They join Mrs Fortescue,
who is enthralled with Rose's tales of her romantic affairs, as is Richard. Hyacinth is not amused. Stop! There's a pub. The girls need a stiffener. They escort Mrs Fortescue into the pub. Hyacinth sends Richard to rescue her. He is gone a very long time. Hyacinth never goes into a public house, especially one with Onslow's bicycle parked outside. Fortunately, the window cleaner's ladder is handy. Hyacinth uses it inventively to try to attract Richard's attention while avoiding that of Mrs Barker-Finch, only to meet her some distance away under rather unusual circumstances. Back at the pub, Hyacinth accepts Onslow's offer of a
very large whisky to celebrate Mrs Fortescue's win at darts. At last, Richard and Hyacinth drive Mrs Fortescue home, but -- look! Who is that man, waving, dressed as Maid Marian? You have interesting relatives, Mrs Bucket. It's Bou-quet, Mrs Fortescue, Bou-quet!
Series 2, Episode 2

"The Candlelight Supper" (15-Sep-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Recovering from his divorce, Emmet tries a little therapeutic gardening. Hyacinth surprises him with a song, inviting him and Liz to her candlelight supper. In the kitchen, Richard is polishing the silver and breathing distastefully. Across town, Rose has dumped Boris, and Mr Helliwell is coming to call. The house needs tidying. But 'given the transience of life, biology's awesome potential for instability, and the possible meaninglessness of the entire universe,' Onslow doesn't think it's worth the bother. Rose decides Mr Helliwell can pick her up at our Hyacinth's. It's a more well-regulated household. Candlelight supper table preparations complete, Hyacinth brings Richard in to gauge his response. 'It looks very nice,' he says. 'Very nice? Is that the extent of your enthusiasm?' Richard feels it wise to try again. Hyacinth calls for a second opinion. Elizabeth knows how to appreciate a table properly. Richard breathes a tasteful sigh of relief. Sheridan phones to wish his mummy every success for her entertaining. He needs L70. Not to spend on girls, Sheridan! No, he and Tarquin aren't interested in girls. What a comfort to a
mother's heart. The entertainment underway, guests begin to arrive -- Liz and Emmet. Rose! Mr Helliwell! Boris! The activity on the front porch raises the decibel level of the neighbourhood considerably, inspiring Hyacinth to a similar endeavour. Rose dismisses Mr Helliwell and Boris. She's going to stay for supper and help Emmet recover from his painful divorce. 'I think I will have that drink, now, Richard,' says our Emmet.
Series 2, Episode 3

Three-Piece Suite (22-Sep-91
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances


 Hyacinth is getting a new one, to be delivered very shortly by a van with the Royal Seal. (She has phoned to be sure the truck will have a seal). Hyacinth plans to phone the high-born lady across the street when the van arrives, thus insuring that from her window she sees the van with the royal seal. Parking cones are arranged to be sure no one parks in front of the Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) residence at the critical time. Hyacinth offers the old three-piece suite to Daisy and Onslow. He shows up to collect it just as the new one is about to be delivered. Hyacinth sends Onslo away as Richard pays the delivery van driver to go around the block one more time. The van has an accident, so Onslow rescues and delivers the new three-piece suite in his borrowed less-than grand truck. Hyacinth cringes, but as lest she gets her three piece suite, which is a replica of the one at Sandringham House.
Series 2, Episode 4

Hyacinth Tees Off (29-Sep-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances


The Buckets come to join the Major and his wife for a weekend break. But the Major is alone. Richard fetches him while Hyacinth makes new friends. They think the sounds from Room 210 are disturbing. 'Yes, noises like that can be very disconcerting for a considerate husband like mine,' Hyacinth agrees. Accompanying them round the grounds, she spots Onslow and Daisy! She hurries to tell Richard. As she passes Room 210, who should emerge but Rose -- just as the Major rounds the corner. At the door of the Buckets' room, Hyacinth is shocked to see Richard in a compromising situation with the maid. 'Getting into the holiday spirit, are we, old chap?' asks the Major. His dicky leg preventing him playing golf, he invites Hyacinth for a drink. Richard is going golfing with Porky Hooton. 'Oh that's very public school!' Hyacinth is thrilled as she drives off with the Major. Stopping on a country lane, he sighs, 'Alone at last.' 'Major, what are you doing?!' asks our innocent flower. Matronly ladies are the Major's problem, but Hyacinth is a member of the choral society and after three attempts, she extricates herself from his little two seater. Making her way through a flock of grazing sheep, she arrives at the hotel somewhat the worse for wear just as Onslow and Daisy prepare to collect Rose and Richard emerges in his golfing gear. But there will be no golf today -- the Buckets are leaving! For driving to and from Chesford Grange safely with Richard, Hyacinth wears a beige suit with green striped blouse and Tyrolean hat. For struggling with the Major and being chased by the sheep, she wears a rose
and green flowered blouson for the first and last time. The pearls survive intact.
Series 2, Episode 5

"Problems With Relatives" (6-Oct-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Who ever would have thought- ANOTHER family crisis! Bruce is up a tree, dressed in womens clothing. And Daddy's run off to get married. Hyacinth calls Richard at work. He's in the middle of an important meeting. Of course, that's of no consequence to Hyacinth. She needs him...IMMEDIATELY! Hyacinth gets a lift into town with Emmet and Elizabeth while Onslow and Daisy offer to take the wheelchair and meet her at the Register's office. When Hyacinth gets there, Richard's
already waiting outside. Hyacinth rushes through the door and finds a woman "assisting" Daddy. Hyacinth lectures the woman about forcing Daddy into marriage. Poor helpless Daddy. "What's she talking about?" the woman asks Richard. "I want you to prefer kidnapping charges against this woman," Hyacinth says to Richard. "Madam, I'm the Registrar," the woman says. Daisy and Onslow finally arrive and Daddy is saved. Hyacinth and Richard follow as Onslow and Daisy push Daddy down the street. Of course, they follow a "safe" distance behind so no one will know they're together. Emmet and Liz happen to drive by and offer a lift. Hyacinth panics. Where will they go? Liz can't see Onslow's house. Hyacinth gets an idea. They'll go to Violet's! When they get there, the Mercedes is parked out front...what good luck for Hyacinth. Unfortunately, Bruce is still in the tree. Before everyone figures out what Bruce is doing, Hyacinth herds everyone out of there. But now where will they go. "I think we should go in this direction," Hyacinth says as they pull out of the driveway. "Daddy's always liked this direction."
Series 2, Episode 6

"Singing For Emmet" (13-Oct-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Emmet is determined to make a clean getaway. Starting the car's engine will attract the wrong sort of attention. Liz freewheels down the drive -- just as Hyacinth walks up the Avenue. She offers Richard's mechanical services. With just a word, the engine roars into action! Now Liz and Emmet can be off to the church hall. Emmet is going to perform for the old people. What a thoughtful idea -- Emmet can play and Hyacinth will sing! Across town, Rose, betrayed for the last time, is going to become a nun. Fortifying herself with tranquilizers, she leaves to get a recommendation from the dishy Vicar. Back on the Avenue, Richard receives an important phone call. How does he feel about taking early retirement? Hyacinth tells him, 'Oh, Richard, we'll be together all day and every day! They arrive at the church hall to see Rose wobbling up the drive on her tranquilized legs. Settling her into the store cupboard to rest, Hyacinth rehearses with Emmet. He is not a satisfactory accompanist. He leaves to get another chair from the cupboard. He returns with Rose, just as the Vicar arrives, glimpses the Bucket woman, and
suddenly remembers another errand. Liz and Emmet help the Buckets restore Rose to her prone position in the cupboard, where the Vicar's wife finds them both in a compromising position. 'It's all right,' Rose assures her. 'I'm going to be a nun.' For this episode, Hyacinth is seen, first in her pale blue-flowered housedress. For singing with Emmet, Richard suggests a hunter green paisley sheath with velvet trim and a satin bow hat with veil. The pearls are not in evidence. Preoccupied with
thoughts of Hyacinth as a sort of 'recurring motif' running through his early retirement, Richard has forgotten the pearls.
Series 2, Episode 7

"The Toy Store" (20-Oct-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
When Daddy overspends in a toy department, dresses up as a spaceman and proceeds to go on the rampage, Hyacinth is forced to intervene. Unless the damage is paid for, the owners threaten to apprehend him as a `security' risk.
series 2, Episode 8

Picnic For Daddy (27-Oct-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
It's 1 a.m. and Richard can't sleep. Hyacinth is planning a picnic for Daddy. Later, she phones Daisy to get Daddy ready. Sheridan phones requesting money for new pajamas, silk, like his friend, Tarquin's. How wonderful Sheridan is mixing with such a nice class of person! Richard puts the final touch on Hyacinth's newly baked cake. Arriving to collect Daddy, Hyacinth intercepts Mr Butterfield's call. Rose is arguing with him, which is no way to treat one of the town's leading commercial
families. 'It's not that Butterfield,' says our Rose. 'This one is a total drek without a penny to his name!' There is no need for further conversation with Mr Butterfield. Time to leave for the picnic, but where's Daddy? Daddy's left, driving Richard's car. Onslow postpones his unstylish errand for his cousin, Ralphie. All pile into his car and go in hot pursuit, hoping Daddy doesn't drive at speeds incompatible with Hyacinth's cut-glass condiment set. Onslow's car quits, and Daddy speeds off over the hill. The Vicar and his wife come by and give the family a lift. 'It's been a long time since I've sat on your lap, Onslow,' Daisy coos. Rose enjoys a newfound closeness with the dishy Vicar. Ever socially correct, Hyacinth inquires, 'What is the missionary position in China, Vicar?' The Vicar drives them to Ralphie's to collect his furniture. Liz and Emmet see the laden car. A picnic? 'It looks like they're prepared for every eventuality,' remarks Liz. For this episode, Hyacinth is seen, first, in her pink silk nightdress with matching curler hat. For the picnic, she wears an aqua silk blouse with cream skirt and an aqua and cream flowered jacket. An aqua hat trimmed with plums which the Vicar's dog finds quite tasty. And the pearls.
Series 2, Episode 9

"Onlsow's Birthday" (3-Nov-91)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth's reluctance to attend Onslow's birthday party vanishes when Daisy tells her Rose's gentleman friend, Mr Marinopolous, will pick them up in his limousine. This calls for an important birthday present. Richard meets Hyacinth at the jewelers. Hyacinth thinks cufflinks would be appropriate. For Onslow? 'He never wears a shirt,' Richard says. But, of course, 18 karat gold cufflinks would encourage him. Onslow must not be presented with something cheap and tawdry in front of
Rose's wealthy Greek boyfriend. Next day, Mr Marinopolous comes to call for Rose, Onslow, and Daisy, who thinks he's quite romantic. His limousine is in for repairs, but he's brought his other vehicle. 'You liked him kissing your hand, did you?' Onslow asks our Daisy. 'Wait till midnight, he'll probably go for your neck.' They ride off to Onslow's birthday party in Mr Marinopolous' business vehicle. On Blossom Avenue, a pre-luncheon cocktails and canape hour is in progress at the Buckets. Just a few select friends who are scheduled to leave as Mr Marinopolous drives up in his limousine. But 'why does that hearse keep going round and round?' Richard asks Hyacinth. 'I'll tell you later,' she answers. 'But this much I'll tell you now: there's a pair of cufflinks that's going back to the jewelers first thing in the morning. Happy Birthday, Onslow!' For this episode, Hyacinth is seen, first, in her pale blue-flowered house dress. For buying Onslow's present, she changes to a suit of many colours, which gains a peplum effect as the day progresses, and a coordinating hat with frou frou trim. For her cocktails and canape hour (NOT Onslow's birthday party), she changes to a red, green, and blue flowered two-piece which Major Wilton-Smythe never quite manages to get his hands on. And, as always, the pearls.
Series 2, Episode 10

Series Three


How To Enhance Your Husband's Retirement (6-Sep-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances


Poor Richard! Early retirement's started. Hyacinth invites Liz over for morning coffee. Of course, Liz spills her coffee on Hyacinth's rug. Liz is mortified. But Hyacinth assures her it's all right. "She's not one to make a fuss." They're interrupted by Violet's phone call. Violet tells Hyacinth that Bruce has taken up Latin American Ballroom dancing. Hyacinth thinks it's wonderful, until Violet explains that Bruce is NOT the one wearing the trousers. Meanwhile, back at work, Richard begs to be able to stay. He'll do anything. But his boss thinks it's best to make a clean break. Richard offers to work mornings...or afternoons...or mornings AND afternoons. The boss firmly says it's time for Richard to go. Richard gives in. Back at home Hyacinth is getting ready to entertain Mrs. Henderson who, according to Hyacinth, can get Richard a prestigious job. Hyacinth gets ready to give her the full treatment. But all her plans are for naught. Rose has a date with Roger and she's told Roger a small fib. She said she lives with Hyacinth and tells him to pick her up there. He shows up right before Hyacinth's scheduled tea time with a very large dog. "Olive" sits down in Hyacinth's driveway and refuses to move. Elizabeth and Hyacinth try everything to move her but nothing works...until Mrs. Henderson walks around the corner with a small dog on a leash. Olive sees the little dog and takes off after him. Mrs. Henderson wisely drops the leash and Olive chases the dog down the street. Unfortunately, Hyacinth never let go of Olive's leash. She yells to Mrs. Henderson that she'll "be right with her" as she runs by, struggling to keep up with Olive.
Series 3, Episode 1

Iron Age Remains (13-Sep-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Celebrating Richard's early retirement, Hyacinth guides him on a trek to study Iron-Age remains, an excursion marred by Richard's inattentiveness whilst tree-climbing. Back home, Hyacinth invites Elizabeth to tea and sends Richard to potter in the garden, where he commits an irresponsible act . 'Eek!' Hyacinth interrupts her tea-drinking to rush outside and put Richard and Emmet right as Onslow and Daisy arrive. Rose has locked herself in her room for love of Edgar. Hormones running riot, she's sent for the Vicar. Going to her rescue, Hyacinth worries about Rose's outrageous hormones, 'I'm sure the rest of the
family are stable, hormone-wise.' Richard agrees, 'I'll second that.' Hyacinth orders Rose to open her door, but Rose wants to see Richard. 'I don't mind going in,' he offers. 'You stay where you are!' Hyacinth commands, ordering Rose downstairs in five minutes. Ten minutes later, it's gone deadly quiet upstairs. Hyacinth sends Richard up a ladder to look in Rose's window but, surprised by Onslow's dog, she brings him down straightway. As Richard recovers on the sofa, Daisy announces a miracle cure: Rose has looked out her window and seen the Vicar coming. Hyacinth tells Richard to recover at once and fetch the car whilst
she cancels Rose's appointment with the Vicar. As the Buckets drive away, Rose comes out in her mini mourning negligee. Richard runs the car up on the pavement and the Vicar leaps the hedge for safety. 'Can I give you a hand, Vicar?" asks our Rose. For this episode, Hyacinth is seen first in her lavender flowered housedress. For Iron-Age study, she changes to a tan skirt, jacket, hat, and hiking boots. For the day's further adventures, she wears her yellow and green flowery frock. Pearls are not worn for educational purposes.
Series 3, Episode 2

Violet's Country Cottage (20-Sep-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth and Richard are off to the country for a BBQ in Violet's cottage for the weekend. Gleefully, the neighbors line the streets to give her a full send-off. Hyacinth waves majestically. Emmitt is obviously thrilled--that is until Elizabeth tells him that they have both been invited, and Elizabeth has accepted on their behalf. At Onslow's, all are thrilled at the invitation, excepting Onslow; Daddy's even bringing his "Mrs. Thing", a mysterious foreinger. After the Buckets arrive at the cottage, Richard meets an odd neighbor with a gun,. Hyacinth is thrilled, it's that eccentric but well connected woman, Bunsy, that Violet told her about! As Richard searches for the lady's dog (at Hyacinth's orders). Hyacinth and the neigbor become quite chummy over drinks, (so chummy, that Hyacinth's staggering a bit.) A scruffy old tramp pays a visit; Hyacinth tries to shoo him off until she learns that it's Bunsy's husband, Dorian. Dorian seems to be feeling his oats, and he's feeling them for Hyacinth apparently. Nevertheless, Hyacinth invites him in for a round of drinks, and they all end up dancing around the cottage in a conga line as Onslow and the gang arrive. Our Hyacinth, you say? That's what Onslow seems to be wondering.
Series 3, Episode 3

How To Go On Holiday Without Really Trying (27-Sep-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth is jealous of traveling neighbor, picks up travel brochures to expensive, fashionable destinations, leaves them lying  about or otherwise calls attention to them. Church cleaning day -- Hyacinth with great enthusiasm accidentally volunteers to clean the toilets. Rose shows up, Hyacinth finding her up a tall ladder in her usual short skirt. As Hyacinth struggles to get her to come down she knocks ladder, and Rose falls into the arms of the passing 'dishy' vicar, just as his wife comes into view.
Series 3, Episode 4

"Richard's New Hobby" (4-Oct-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth is awaiting the arrival of Mrs. Counselor Nugent. She gives richard his retirement present of a camcorder, he goes about to film. When he is filming in a phone booth, he arouses the suspicion of a police officer, who puts him in the back of the car. Th police think he is crazy. Back home, Onslow, Daisy, and Rose come over to report that Daddy is missing. They try to leave but the car breaks down just as Mrs. Counselor Nugent arrives. Hyacinth tells her that they are filming a movie. Mrs. Nugent wants to be in it. They go inside and when they come back out, right as the police arrive; Hyacinth, Elizabeth, and Mrs. Nugent are dressed as prostitutes. The police suspect Richard may be a rather odd fellow.
Series 3, Episode 5

"The Art Exhibition" (11-Oct-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
A private exhibition! Hyacinth phones the gallery's curator for tips on art appreciation. Richard's too preoccupied looking at art books to help Hyacinth select a hat. Really! What she's going to be wearing is far more important than what they're not!! Daisy phones: Daddy's run off to join the French Foreign Legion, because of Mrs Clayton. The Buckets drive out to find him. 'Do you know which way he's gone?' Richard asks. 'To France!' says our Hyacinth. j' Go to the roundabout and head for France!!' Rose has gone off in Mr Finchley's van, and Onslow and Daisy make their own excursion . Stopping for petrol, Richard and Hyacinth meet Elizabeth and Emmet just as Mr Finchley and Rose drive by, their amours broadcast, accidently, over the van's loudspeaker. The Buckets find Rose parked in a lay-by -- no big surprise -- and Daddy at Mrs Clayton's, carrying a sign that garners Hyacinth no little attention as she stows it away in the car. Richard is enlisted to mind Daddy whilst Hyacinth attends the art exhibition. At the gallery, Hyacinth spots the Vicar. 'I didn't know you were art lovers,' he says. 'Oh yes, we go miles for a little culture, Richard and I,' replies Hyacinth and Richard agrees, 'It always seems like miles.' During their conversation, Daddy slips into the art exhibition. Oh no! The Buckets rush to rescue him. 'I rely on you Richard, to keep Daddy away from any nudes!' warns our Hyacinth. For this episode, Hyacinth is seen in her lineny lavender-flowered frock over which she dons the stylish tan trenchcoat and pink frou frou hat to find Daddy. For going to the art exhibition, her ensemble must be seen to be believed. Suffice it to say, she looks terribly artistic. Always, the pearls.
Series 3, Episode 6

What To Wear When Yachting (18-Oct-92)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

Sheridan's arranged a holiday for Mummy and Daddy on his friend's father's yacht, moored, on the river near Oxford. Liz and Emmet will join them though Emmet dreads spending 'a whole night on board some old bucket with another old Bucket.' Packed and dressed for the occasion (Hyacinth, at least), the Buckets depart, stopping enroute so Richard can be kitted out in the latest nautical style. At the marina, Hyacinth commandeers the key to a beautiful yacht. But she's not Contessa II, which is a disappointing- looking craft. She'll look better moved away from the other yachts. Hyacinth assumes command and navigates. After a shaky start, the boat stalls abruptly, causing her Captain to pitch fore and aft. Rescued by her First Mate, Hyacinth decides to navigate from the dock. After a drift down the river -- Hyacinth shouting commands from shore -- Richard finally brings the boat in and positively throws himself at her feet to help Hyacinth aboard, but the boat drifts away again -- without Richard. Hyacinth tosses him a lifeline and reels him in. 'Stop messing about, Richard and come aboard!' she orders. Trying to pull him into the boat, she loses her grip and performs an unusual dive, joining Richard in the river. Liz and Emmet arrive at this moment to find that Hyacinth's nautical buffet has suffered a slight setback. 'We're all going home!' commands the Captain. 'We'll buy some fish and chips.' For this episode, Hyacinth changes from her blue housedress into the definitive yachtswoman's gear complete with striped shirt, brass buttons, sailor hat and deck shoes, all thoroughly drenched in the end. Pearls are not worn by sailors.
Series 3, Episode 7
 

Series Four


"A Job For Richard" (5-Sep-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth presents Richard with a golden opportunity: a chance to escape early retirement and an eternity of dawn-to-dusk Hyacinth: namely, she has found a vacancy in a very influential position at the Frosticles frozen food company. Richard, surprisingly, is not eager to get back into the rat race, but Hyacinth is adamant. Richard immediately finds himself getting lessons in how to be forceful and executive from his beloved, but when he mentions one of the cruder areas of the anatomy in his practice interview, Hyacinth decided more drastic measures are in order. Meanwhile, Liz and Emmet are having a rehearsal of their own; to help his sister learn to stand up to her neighbor, Emmet undergoes the ultimate indignity of pretending to be Hyacinth...however, when both brother and sister visit Hyacinth to turn down her invitation, both are yanked into the house without having a chance to speak. But Hyacinth must carry out her plan. She and Richard are off to the golfing club, where! they are to meet Onslow, who, amazingly, is told by Hyacinth NOT to wear a shirt! There is a method to Hyacinth's madness, however...when shirtless Onslow appears menacingly on the course, Richard is to throw him off the premises, thereby impressing the head of the Frosticles firm who is golfing there as well. Hyacinth's plan goes off without a hitch...that is until two real punks show up, and the head of Frosticles, impressed by Richard's previous performance, asks him to do his stuff on the two thugs. Richard turns chicken in the face of doom, but when one of the delinquents assaults Hyacinth with his motorcycle, she takes matters into her own hands, and manages to influence Mr. Frosticles so much that he gives the post to a member of the Bucket residence. Only not Richard.
Series 4, Episode 1
 

"The Commodore" (12-Sep-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth's on a mission! The Commodore's scheduled to be the guest speaker at the Ladies Luncheon and it's Hyacinth's job
to pick him up at the rail station. Of course, she drags an unenthusiastic Richard with her and problems arise. She assures
Richard that it's okay for him to park in the "no parking" space in front of the station. The rules can't apply to her! Richard
reluctantly gives in. They go into the station but they can't find the Commodore. They return to the car to find that it's been
"clamped." Now what do they do? Hyacinth spots the vicar at the station and "volunteers" him to take her to the last stop on
the line, figuring that the Commodore must be there. The vicar has no choice but to agree. They go to the last stop, but the
Commodore's not there either. Hyacinth can't think of anywhere else to look so she has the vicar drive her back to the
luncheon where she's prepared to admit that she failed her mission. But when she walks through the door, the Commodore's
already there and the luncheon is over and it was a smashing success. Now the Commodore needs a ride back to the station. Of
course, Hyacinth offers the Vicar's services. Immensely proud of herself, she and the Commodore climb into the back seat.
(Richard's still at the station "dealing" with his clamped car.) To Hyacinth's (and the Vicar's) horror, it seems that the
Commodore is quite the ladies man. He goes after Hyacinth, full steam ahead. "But I'm a married woman," Hyacinth says,
crouching against the car door. This doesn't bother the Commodore at all. In fact, it doesn't even slow him down. As they
drive away with Hyacinth fighting off the Commodore's amorous advances, it's hard to say who looks more horrified: the vicar
or our Hyacinth!
Series 4, Episode 2

Let There Be Light (19-Sep-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Preparing to leave for the Bring-and-Buy Sale at the Church Hall, Hyacinth reminds Richard that she has volunteered his
services to repair the Church Hall's electrics since Richard was so successful in repairing their Christmas tree lights. Thinking
he is back in the war and wearing his military uniform, Daddy stands on guard outside Daisy's and Onslow's house and
discusses maneuvers with Colonel Daulish who has been dead for thirty years. After arriving at the Hall, Hyacinth tells the
Vicar that Richard has probably solved the electrical problem since Richard is "quite a live wire when it comes to electrics."
Richard begins to fix the electrics under the Hall's stage. Hyacinth discovers from the Vicar's wife that Mrs. Drummond from
"the Grange" will be running the bookstore. Hyacinth then decides to wait outside the Hall for Mrs. Drummond. Onslow,
Daisy, and Rose take Daddy to the Church Hall because they want the Vicar to exorcise Daddy since he is "possessed." Mrs
Drummond arrives and asks Hyacinth to take her dogs for a walk. Wearing a gas mask and holding a rifle, Daddy scares the
Vicar's wife who then drops her tea tray. Daddy then positions himself at the Second Hand China Table just as Richard flips
the electrical power switch. Light bulbs and fuse boxes burst!! Daddy thinks a military attack has begun and shouts out
commands. The Hall's doors burst open!! The explosions cause Mrs. Drummond's dogs to dart away from Hyacinth who is just
about to take the dogs on their walk. Playing his bugle, Daddy runs outside. Smoke and dust flow out of the Hall as people
flee. Hyacinth runs up to Richard asking: "What's happened??!!" Richard exclaims to Hyacinth: "I think I'm better with
Christmas tree lights!!!"
Series 4, Episode 3

Rural Retreat (26-Sep-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

Much to the delight of Emmet and Elizabeth, Hyacinth and Richard go of in search of Honeysuckle cottage. Having expressed
her desire to live a 'Rural' life, Hyacinth is in for a big surprise. After getting some garbled directions from the village idiot,
Hyacinth and Richard finally get to the cottage only to find the key is with a neighbour. The neighbour is no other than the
village idiot who proceeds to show the Buckets around Honeysuckle cottage while, at the same time, making amorous moves
on Hyacinth. While looking for woodworm in the attic, Richard falls through the roof onto a wooden beam injuring himself in
the 'nether' regions! Hyacinths encounter with 'wild' animals makes this one a gem.
Series 4, Episode 4

."Looking For Property" (3-Oct-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Oh good Lord -- a policeman's at the door! Richard must collect Daddy from the station at once. Hyacinth sends him off
looking like someone on business of an unrecognizable nature and invites Liz to drive her out to look at country property.
Richard is reluctant to leave Hyacinth (?!), worried she'll buy something enormous they can't afford. 'Richard,' she says
reassuringly, 'what have I ever presented you with that we can't afford ?' 'Well. . .Sheridan for a start,' replies Richard
forthrightly. Emmet is thrilled at the prospect of Hyacinth looking at country property and encourages Liz to find her a place
suitably far away. They find it: a grand grey pile of a Grade II-listed mansion perched proudly in its own private pristine
parkland - Marston Hall. 'Oh I could LIVE in a place like this!' breathes our Hyacinth rapturously. Returning Daddy to
Onslow and Daisy's, Richard hopes to join Hyacinth at Marston Hall before she signs anything. But Daddy has cunningly
disabled Richard's car to keep it out of the hands of the enemy. No problem. Onslow drives everyone out to Marston Hall.
Meanwhile, Hyacinth has met another resident of The Mansion -- Sir Edward, who is relaxing in the parlour, enjoying one of
the favourite ailments of the upper classes - gout - and decides once and for all this is the property for her. After stunning him
with her pictures of Sheridan, Hyacinth wheels Sir Edward out for an airing in the garden just as Onslow drives up, spewing
petrol fumes over the assembled company. Magnificently assured throughout, Hyacinth is attired in a smart country red
pleated skirt with coordinating plaid jacket worn over an elegant white silk blouse; country brogues and stylish Tyrolean hat
with pheasant feather complete her ensemble. Oh yes - and the pearls.
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Series 4, Episode 5
 

Please Mind Your Head (10-Oct-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

Hyacinth has found her "cozy charismatic country cottage." In fact, she and Richard are part-owners of a mansion! As
Richard waits for the lorry to deliver their "diminutive furniture with a genuine antique appearance", Hyacinth orders him up
the several flights of stairs leading to their attic apartment. Hyacinth carefully admonishes Richard: "It's not small - it's old
world Bijou!" Hyacinth phones the city: "Coffee at 3, Elizabeth, Bring Emmett!" Hyacinth and Richard don their riding gear
(to lend the appearance that they are partaking in country leisure activities). However, Hyacinth's plans run astray when they
meet Elizabeth and Emmett on the road! Emmett suggests that they ride together, and hilarity ensues! Richard has to boost
Hyacinth onto the horse. Later, Hyacinth cannot start the horse, and Richard gives it a push from behind. The horse jumps,
and off Hyacinth goes through the field! Later, she is hardly fit to be presented to guests. The guests arrive (including Onslow)
and wind up getting stuck in the compact kitchenette!
Series 4, Episode 6

"A Celebrity For The Barbecue" (17-Oct-93)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances


Featuring 'THE' C. P. Benedict of the Garden Centre, who has been seen on television. Hyacinth purchases dozens of large plants from the Garden Centre for her front room so that he will feel at home. Mean- while Daddy is on the roof of Daisy and Onslow's house 'firewatching' as in WW II. While Elizabeth, Emmet, and Richard are lost in the living room greenery, Rose appears at Hyacinth's just as the Barbecue guests are arriving, and celebrity C.P. turns out to be an old boyfriend of Rose's whom he greets most enthusiastically, as Hyacinth sees another of her glorious social occasions crumble before it can get underway.
Series 4, Episode 7
 

Series Five


"The Old Folk's Outing" (3-Sep-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth volunteers to help the vicar with his "Seaside Senior Citizens Day" Hyacinth spends the day on the long van ride to
the Seaside and the obstacles at the "Fun Fair" including the Merry Go Round, Bumper Cars, Fun House, and Spook House,
fending off the advances of a non English speaking, amorous senior citizen. Richard is in charge of driving the Mini Van, and
shepherding Elizabeth and the sad faced and chronically ill Mrs. Lomax, through the Fair.
Series 5, Episode 1
 

"The Mayor's Fancy Dress Ball" (10-Sep-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth blames the postman for not delivering her invitation to the Mayors Fancy Dress Ball. Richard arranges a special
invitation, and Richard is off to the costume rental to see what's left at this late date. Rose announces her engagement to a
Polish person, whose name no one can pronounce, so he becomes Mr. Whatsis. Elizabeth spill the cookies, but not the coffee
this time. Several couples arrive at the Ball, wearing the same outfits as Hyacinth and Richard have on, and Hyacinth leaves in
a huff. As usual, Hyacinth's pearls are worn throughout.
Series 5, Episode 2
 

Hyacinth Is Alarmed (17-Sep-95)


Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth's neighbor has been burgled twice in the last two months. Hyacinth is jealous of the attention afforded the neighbor.
Meanwhile, Richard has forgotten it's their anniversary. Hyacinth rings the post office to complain that her surprise
anniversary present is "lost in their sorting facilities." Richard gets the brilliant idea to state that he has ordered Hyacinth a
burglar alarm for the house as his anniversary present. She tells the salesman the box on the outside of the house must
Meanwhile, Daisy/Onslow/Rose/Daddy's house is haunted. Daddy refuses to go upstairs anymore. Rose invites the Dishy Vicar
over to exorcise the spirit, who turns out to be an old lady invited back to the house by Daddy.
Series 5, Episode 3

"A Riverside Picnic" (24-Sep-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Riparian Entertainments


While Hyacinth and Richard are out for a leisurely drive, Hyacinth spots an ideal location for a "Waterside Supper with
Riparian Entertainments." She quickly sends out invitations to the Vicar and his wife, Elizabeth and Emmett, and Violet.
Elizabeth looks up "riparian" in the dictionary, Emmett musters up some determination, and the Vicar rips his newspaper, but
all find a refusal of the invitation impossible. Picnic day comes and everyone arrives to help transport things. Violet is late, and
Hyacinth is concerned for her prawns. Upon arrival to the special location, Hyacinth is aghast to discover construction men
digging up her picnic place. The group commandeers some boats to drift down the river. Hyacinth argues with a rude lackey
man and offers to help Richard row the boat. Meanwhile, Violet arrives with Onslow, Daisy, and Rose and they set up their
own picnic along the river. Richard rows the boat underneath a piece of machinery filled with water and Hyacinth gets soaked
to the bone, prompting Emmett to remark about the riparian entertainments. The boats row by the family picnic and Onslow
admires Hyacinth's stiff upper lip. In the very last scene, we are treated to Hyacinth's famous royal wave.
Series 5, Episode 4
 

"Skis" (1-Oct-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Richard's birthday
Richard is gardening. Hyacinth encourages him to look as if he's enjoying it when the Carradines (She used to be a Baxter's
Biscuits) drive past with skis on their car. Late that night, Hyacinth joins Richard in bed. She is excited about his birthday
tomorrow. Isn't he? Next day, Richard opens his unwieldy birthday present. "Skis!" he exalims excitedly. "What am I going to
do with skis?!" Hyacinth thinks they'll look well on the car. They take the skis to Violet's to borrow a ski rack. On the way,
they offer the two Miss Pillsworths a lift, arranging them amongst the skis. At violet's, Bruce is just leaving as Violet pours a
pitcher of water on his head. A most tastefully engraved pitcher, it must be said. Richard takes the Miss Pillsworths to their
destination and returns to collect the ski rack Violet says they may have. Hyacinth and Richard take Violet to talk to the Vicar
about her dampened prospects for marital happiness, and Richard's skis are involved in their final mishap. At the vicarage,
Violet doesn't want to talk to the Vicar after all and runs away down the street, Hyacinth in hot pursuit. They pass the two
Miss Pillsworths, one of whom is heard to say, "That woman is relentless. She's still chasing people to offer them lifts!" For this
episode, Hyacinth is seen, first (by the Carradines) in her blue housedress. For encouraging Richard to be excited, she reprises
her filmy pale aqua peignoir and matching hairnet; for presenting him with his birthday skis, she wears her olive green and
yellow flowery frock; for going to Violet's, the colourful stained-glass print two-piece with coordinating veiled and feathered
hat. The pearls are worn everywhere except bed.
Series 5, Episode 5

The Country Estate Sale (8-Oct-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

Dame Ursula's wine
Richard lies awake, thinking of tomorrow's country house sale. Next morning , Hyacinth takes charge of the map-reading and
off they go. Several false starts, stops, and turnings later, they arrive at the sale. Liz and Emmet are already inside, feeling quite
relaxed, having met the Buckets traveling in the opposite direction. Meanwhile, in a less than aristocratic neighbourhood,
Onslow's sharing crisps with the dog as Mrs Braddock's taken up residence in the car, waiting for Daddy to marry her. At the
country house, the auction begins with bidding for a pair of ornamental vases. 'Oh, Richard, I like those!' enthuses our
Hyacinth. 'No you don't!!' Richard commands, concern for his bank account making him bold. When the decorative screen's
brought forward for bid, lo and behold, there are Elizabeth and Emmet! What a nice surprise. Finally, six bottles of the Lady
Ursula's homemade gooseberry wine. These are within the Buckets' budget and Richard allows Hyacinth to bid. Walking forth
triumphantly, certain her purchase will provide the crowning moment at her next candlelight supper, Hyacinth spots his
Lordship. He invites the Buckets to sample old Mumsy's scrumply, after which he and Richard help Hyacinth into the car. Off
they go to Daddy's to crack open a bottle, Hyacinth serenading Richard with an old English drinking song. Arriving at the
house, Hyacinth walks unsteadily to the door and -- fortified by bottled courage -- surprises Onslow's dog, Mrs Braddock
responding in kind. Recovering what dignity she has, Hyacinth invites the family to share a bottle with her, before passing out
at Onslow's feet. For this episode, Hyacinth is seen first in her pink silk nightdress with matching hairnet. For behaving like an
aristocrat, she chooses the silk green and blue-flowered two-piece with blue aristocratic- looking hat. And the pearls.
Series 5, Episode 6
 

"The Boy Friend" (15-Oct-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth hears that Emmet is rehearsing for a production of "The Boyfriend", at the church hall, and Hyacinth wants a part in
it. Hyacinths invites Elizabeth and Emmet for coffee, to try to influence Emmet. She decides to entertain them in her "House
Beautiful" look alike lounge, where they can "wallow in superior ambiance" Daisy looks forward to a romantic day with
Onslow, as Rose and Daddy will be out of the house. Instead Daddy dons his WW2 uniform, complete with gas mask, rifle, and
bayonet, and bars entrance to the front door, claiming orders to defend the position to the last man. With Onslow, Daisy, Rose
and neighbors standing by - Hyacinth arrives and Daddy lays down the rifle, raises his hands and surrenders.
Series 5, Episode 7
 

"A Barbecue At Violet's" (22-Oct-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

Emmet is too shy to offer her a role in 'The Boyfriend' so Hyacinth decides to make it easy for him. Driving Hyacinth and Liz
to the church hall where Emmet is rehearsing, Richard encourages Hyacinth to phone ahead. Stopping at a call box, Hyacinth's
call is put on hold while another caller phones ahead of her. She insists Richard eject the caller. Richard demurs. Hyacinth
takes matters into her own hands, pounding on the door of the call box. And now the scene the whole world has been waiting
for -- Richard asserts himself: 'Hyacinth! Stop that at once and get into the car!!' Hyacinth is momentarily stunned into
obedience. Richard is pleasantly surprised. On to the church hall where Emmet and the vicar are rehearsing Three Young
Ladies in a little soft shoe. Hearing the Bucket woman, the men leave the girls to cope. Hyacinth sits down at the piano to
rehearse them in 'The Boyfriend'. They follow Emmet and the Vicar into their hiding place under the stage, where Richard, Liz,
and the Vicar's wife find them -- rehearsing?? They emerge into the church hall where Hyacinth invites them to Violet's for a
barbecue. At Violet's, they play a useful party game. Hyacinth periodically holds up cue cards and the guests stop eating and
sing ! One of the cue cards lands on the grill and goes up in flames. Oh! Here's Daddy in the nick of time, carrying a bucket of--
Hyacinth grabs it and dumps it on the -- buffet table. It is not water. For this episode, Hyacinth is seen first in her lavender
flowered housedress. For rehearsing 'The Boyfriend,' she changes to her colourful blouson with coordinating straw hat. For the
barbecue, the chic black leaf print blouson. Always, the pearls.
Series 5, Episode 8
 

"The Rolls Royce" (29-Oct-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances

Hyacinth is so embarrassed when she loses second place to Lydia Hawksworth in a baking contest. So since Hyacinth didn't
win a new car, she decides the best way to get one is to buy one. She tricks Richard into taking her to the car dealership, where
Hyacinth, not Richard, is interested in buying a Rolls Royce. So, Hyacinth and Richard sneak off for a test drive. But sneaky
Hyacinth tricks Richard into driving somewhere she wanted to go. "Pull into the hotel", says Hyacinth. "Hyacinth, you knew
this hotel was here", says Richard. They stop at the hotel where Hyacinth wants to show off the Rolls Royce to everyone she
knows, including Lydia. But when they show up, Daisy, Onslo, Rose and Daddy also show up! So Hyacinth and Richard run
away before they can see them, but end up in the arms of policemen ready to take them to jail for stealing a rolls royce!
Series 5, Episode 9
 

"The Hostess advert." (5-Nov-95)
Britcoms: Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth has decided to utilize her expertise in etiquette as a social consultant. After placing an advertisement in the paper, she
harasses poor Richard all night because she is so anxious to receive the paper and see her advertisement in print. When
morning comes, Hyacinth spots the paper boy and chases him down the block to get her newspaper. Hyacinth wanted her
advert to be simple and elegant, and she reads it to Richard: "Experienced hostess willing to provide services for parties."
Anticipating an onslaught of resultant telephone calls, she places Richard in a chair next to the phone and insists that he keep
"paper and pencil at the ready." Meanwhile, over at the home of Onslow and Daisy, Daisy is trying to remember when she
wore a certain pink dress that years ago sent Onslow into a libidinous frenzy. Daisy only recalls that she wore it for one of
Rose's engagement parties, but Onslow does not find that helpful. He says, "Daisy's had more engagements than I've had bags
of crisps." Rose walks in just in time to hear Onslow's statement, and she resents it. She orders Onslow to drive Daddy to his
hobby circle meeting. Back at the Bucket home, Hyacinth receives a much-awaited phone call from a client. The client demands
Hyacinth's services for the same evening at 6:00. Although she is slightly annoyed about the short notice, Hyacinth is pleased
that there are people who are "eager to improve their social graces." Richard drives Hyacinth to 24A Market Street, the
location of the upcoming soiree. Hyacinth goes inside to consult while Richard waits outside. Hyacinth returns moments later,
angered and embarrassed. When Richard asks what went wrong, Hyacinth says, "They thought I was a striptease artist." Just
as Richard prepares to drive away, Hyacinth tells him he must go back inside 24A. When Richard asks why he should do so,
Hyacinth tells him, "To get Daddy!"
Series 5, Episode 10


Specials



1991 Christmas Special
Hyacinth gives Richard a present -- his Father Christmas costume. He's not very enthusiastic. She sends him next door to try
the effect on Emmet and Elizabeth while she phones the Thorgunbys, Richard's head of department, inviting them for a
Christmas refreshment. Liz, preparing to perform a charitable work, opens her door and -- Eeek! It's Father Christmas. 'I
thought you were supposed to come down the chimney,' observes Emmet. Hyacinth donates a little something to charity and
Liz spreads it round. Finding herself in a sticky situation, she leaves Hyacinth to put things right while she goes to find
Richard. She finds him enjoying a cup of Christmas cheer with Emmet. He's in no fit condition to drive Hyacinth to the church
hall. 'Give me that Father Christmas costume! You and Emmet must take the bus!' Liz shouts out the order. Hyacinth's
friendship is having a good effect, apparently. While Rose and Mr Sudbury twinkle-toes down the street across town, Hyacinth,
Father Christmas, and the Thorgunbys arrive at the church hall, where mistletoe abounds. Daddy has reacted to it and must
leave at once. Onslow, Daisy, and Rose come to collect him. Rose reacts to the mistletoe and distributes her gifts equally to
Emmet and the Vicar, while Richard bestows glad tidings upon Elizabeth. Onslow overreacts to the mistletoe and kisses Father
Christmas, twice. 'Well, I suppose that's what Christmas is all about,' says our Father Christmas, readjusting her costume. For
this episode, Hyacinth is seen, first, in her stylish blue housedress. For going to the church hall, she changes to a green and red
two-piece with a green wool cape and matching satin bow with veil. The pearls. And, oh yes, the Father Christmas attire.

1993 Christmas Special
QE II
'Local Celebrity on QEII Cruise' Hyacinth phones her newspaper with the headline. Richard loads their matching set of
executive luggage with the genuine leather embellishments and initials into the car. "Do we really need all this?" asks Richard
foolishly. "I will not be out dressed by the other passengers," Hyacinth explains patiently. They drive to Southampton via the
scenic route. Richard becomes rather bogged down along the way and enlists Hyacinth's help. "You'll pay for this, Richard
Bucket!" she declares, momentarily losing her decorum. Liz and Emmet have come to see them off, but Richard and Hyacinth
have missed the boat. They fly to Copenhagen, and, finally on board, Hyacinth espies Onslow climbing out of a lifeboat. Daisy
and Onslow must have stowed away! Hyacinth devises a plan: She and Richard disguise themselves and go jogging round the
decks, hoping to find the stowaways before the Captain does. Too late! The Captain has found Onslow and Daisy. Making one
last noble effort to rescue them, Hyacinth is escorted from the Captain's cocktail party. Undaunted, she dresses for dinner.
Entering the dining room, she finds the Buckets' place at the Captain's table has been taken by Onslow and Daisy. Her appetite
gone, she returns to their room. Richard investigates and reports that Onslow won a first-class cruise in a newspaper contest! At
the ship's dance , Hyacinth chooses for her partner the most important man on board the QEII -- Onslow. For this episode,
Hyacinth's ensembles are beyond description. Suffice it to say the pearls are always in evidence, even whilst jogging. And as the
credits roll and Onslow and Hyacinth kick up their heels, Hyacinth segues into Patricia Routledge, who puts on a show of her
own. QEII Cruise -- 'the jewel in the Bucket crown'.

1994 Christmas Special
Hyacinth is planning to have her kitchen redone and is, of course, anxious that they should not only be of a very high social class but also, ideally, something
that other people can no longer order! Our poor Richard goes down with athlete's foot, but Hyacinth changes it into something of a higher class- gout - On the other side of town, Onslow and Daisy tell Hayacnth that there is a odd fellow in Daddy's bed, which causes her to make chase staight away to Daddy's room.

1995 Christmas Special
'Charge!' Hyacinth wakes Richard to check her mobile phone. She'll need it whilst she's directing The Pageant. "I hate
historical pageants," says Richard morosely. "Why do I have to be King Charles?" "Because you're married to me and I shall
be Queen," Hyacinth explains the obvious. At the church hall, Hyacinth mobilizes herself in the absence of her volunteer cast
and conscripts her family to rescue The Pageant. Richard, Elizabeth, and Emmet are commandeered to iron the costumes.
Emmet acquits himself heroically of this pressing duty, then stage manages "the crew" - Liz. Onslow makes his theatrical debut
at the local off-license and Hyacinth models her queenly attire for Richard, who has no proper appreciation of it, while Emmet
suggests a few alterations to her costume might enhance The Queen's French "habits." The Vicar and his wife arrive as
Hyacinth's family of actors are fighting amongst themselves. "This dialogue is most unsuitable!" exclaims the shocked Vicar,
his eyes widening at the Queen's provocative bit of stage business. He calls 'Curtain!' Liz gets carried away responding to his
direction but does manage to bring the curtain down - on The Queen. Hyacinth is carried off to a waiting ambulance, fearing
her imminent demise, but ever thoughtful, she makes Richard promise that Onslow will wear a tie at her funeral. The Vicar
reassures her, 'It's just a bump on the head, Mrs Bucket.' Noble to the last, Queen Hyacinth shouts, 'Tell God it's Bou-quet!'
For waking Richard, Hyacinth wears her pink nightdress and matching hairnet; for directing The Pageant, her brightly
coloured blouson; and for acting The Queen, she wears a provocative period costume and a royal crown. The usual strand of
pearls for Hyacinth and a triple strand for The Queen.


Production Details



You should see our flat sometime.

Written by:
Roy Clarke

Directed by:
Harold Snoad

Produced by:
Harold Snoad

5 series, 44 episodes

42 episodes x 30 minutes
1 episode x 50 minutes
1 episode x 60 minutes

Transmitted: 1990-95
BBC Television
 


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Last modified:  January, 2000

© Daniel Berry 2000
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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