Email # Emails by UCL a.k.a. Curly "PAUL HOLLAND" on 03/08/2001 12:00:49 PM

To:   Nikki Moseley/NYC/CMPNotes@cmpnotes
Subject:  Re: FW: thing to do @ walmart

Well last night I got the "I want to start putting some money away on the side for that day when you wake up and tell me that this is not what you want anymore" speech from her. Then she got upset because I got upset and told her "So basically what you are telling me is that you already know that we are not going to last, and so you have already given up, and you are just waiting for it to happen. So you just want me to be like OK Fine." So that went on for like a lil while. Then she left. She also pissed me off because I had to Guy come over and tell me about this Truck Driving School that I have been wanting to go to. So towards the end of our conversation he asked me if I had any other feilds of employment that I might want to check out once I get out. So I told him that I had already passed the NYPD Test and They have already asked me to start up with the next class starting, but since I still have time left on my contract witht he Marines, I was not able to enroll in that class. " I did tell you about that right, I am getting to old, can't remember shit anymore."

So the first thing out of her big mouth is "No he is not going to become a Cop. I ain't going to let him." Like she can tell me what I am going to do or not do. So after he left we got into it about that. Last words I said to her was, "No I do not want to become a Cop right now, but if that is all that I can do when I get out then that is what I will do. The bills still have to be paid and the kids have to be taken care of." And of course her normal reply, " You can always come and get a Job at HOME DEPOT." Like I want to do that for the rest of my life. Maybe that's what her and Maddy wants to do, but I am not wasting my time at no HOME DEPOT.

Then it was " I like the idea of you Driving more then I like the idea of you trying to become a Computer Networker." She did not say it like that, she just said " I would rather you take this Truck Driving class and Not that Computer Class you want to take." " I feel more confident that you will pass this Driving Class then I do that you will pass the Computer Class." She just shot me down like it was not shit.

I mean I know that I am not the smartest person in the world, and that we are not the richest people but if you could take a Computer Class that could almost 99.9% asure you a job starting at $40,000.00 to maybe $50,000.00 starting and get a license that will start you off on a job making $40,000.00 to $44,000.00 starting and you could do one or the other part time would you not try and do both. But no I just get shot down. It was like chose one or the other, but you better choose the one we can afford right now, which is the one I want you to go to anyway.

I do not know anymore. It is hard to believe in yourself when your own family does not even believe in you....  What the hell does she want from me? I wish I didn't have to go through this with her. Why couldn't you have wanted to move here and be with me, instead of me having to deal with this. Hit me back...

Glad to hear the Tianna is feeling better... You see she does love you, other wise she would not have peeded on you. You know that means you are going to have good luck right...

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