Emotions can be tricky things. Often it's difficult not only to sort out precisely what emotions are present, but how we should feel about our feelings. We often end up labeling different emotions as being "good" or "bad" and in turn think ourselves to be "good" or "bad" accordingly based on what we're feeling. I do this as well, and this process is often automatic and unconcious. However something I have come to learn, if not always in heart but in mind is that no feeling is bad, or wrong, or any of those labels we slap on them. And having them does not make us bad or wrong. Emotions can't be wrong, they are what they are... what matters is what we do with them. Emotions can lead us to unhealthy ground, but they themselves are not unhealthy or bad.
It is not "wrong" to feel angry. Anger is beneficial if put to use in the right way. Anger comes about when something is not right, and can lead to positive change. It provides motivation to look at a situation and determine what is wrong and what needs to be worked on.
It is not "wrong" to feel lonely. Loneliness reminds us of our need for fellowship and support. It can lead us to seek out that which we need and desire. It provides motivation to form relationships.
It is not "wrong" to feel sad. Sadness also helps us seek out needed support. It reminds us of our need for comfort and motivates us to open up and share ourselves with others. It helps us empathize with others' troubles and teaches us not only to be comforted but to comfort.
It is not "wrong" to feel anxious. Anxiety can allow us to know if we have taken too much on, or can kick in when we have a lot to do and provide motivation to get it done. It can allow us a way of knowing when we need to ask for help. It reminds us that we do have limits.
It is not "wrong" to feel jealous. Jealousy makes us aware of what our priorities are. It is an intense and uncomfortable feeling and has the capability to transend our denial. When it kicks in, it clues us in to what we desire, and can make us more aware of our needs. It can tell us where we stand, and help us know what areas are unresolved and what we need to work on to be healthy both physically and emotionally. Often this takes deep processing as jealousy in the material realm is often (especially for us) indicative of more internalized or buried needs and hurts of a much more personal and emotional nature.
It is not "wrong" to FEEL. Feelings are in existence for a reason. They are not arbitrary, they are not "stupid", and they are not a sign of weakness. Emotions lead to action. Too often we choose to take actions which are harmful to ourselves, or sometimes to other "innocent bystanders". Some are taught that "negative" feelings are wrong to have or express. Some come to believe that on their own because of painful experiences surrounding feeling or expressing these feelings. There are a million reasons why, I suppose. But put to use in a positive way, even the emotions which may feel wrong or very painful to us can be beneficial.
Feeling doesn't always feel good. It can be scary, painful, hurtful, and uncomfortable. But feeling is nothing to feel guilty about. Feelings are not wrong. It's what you do with them that counts. Simple to say, hard to do. But somewhere in me I know there's some truth to it.
Take care of yourselves, be patient with yourselves, and try to give yourselves the room to feel and the permission to express. Once again, you are precious. Lovingly~ Carrie
