Generally, those with eating disorders go to extremes not just regarding their relationship with food but regarding many other aspects of their lives as well. Balance becomes seemingly impossible and we live life on one extreme end of the spectrum or the other, at times even alternating between the two extremes. This is not just shown in observable behaviors but is often even more apparent in the thoughts.
This all-or-nothing / one extreme or the other mindset is often called black and white thinking. Thoughts become ridged and essentially get catagorized into one of two catagories... positive or negative, good or bad. There is no middle ground, no compromise. It doesn't end there, though, we don't just leave it at our thoughts. It seems the classification of our thoughts becomes the classification of ourselves - if I do or think something not-good that means it's bad which means I'm bad which means I'm a failure and will never amount to anything. It's like a chain reaction which becomes all-too automatic. At times I will go from the innocent thought of "I need to do my nails" to "I'm a horrible person and a total failure" in no time. This process we go through, of our black and white thiking as well as applying our (already distorted) thoughts to our (already distorted) perceptions of ourselves, is not logical in the least. "Outsiders" can see this clearly, however we stick blindly to our mindsets and our misery. It takes a lot of time and energy to change this way of thinking, however with work we can improve in this area. I must admit, this is an area which I struggle with a lot. I have found, though, that simply being aware of the fact that I do this type of all-or-nothing thinking is a big step in changing it. Just be aware of what you're doing and how you're thinking, and once you realize what you're doing it's a bit easier to figure out what to actually do about it. Listen to what those you trust have to say - they see us in a different light than we can see ourselves and others' input can be cautiously used to help us judge where we are on the spectrum.
~Carrie~
