* * * * *
She swung her legs over and stood. I feel like I'm having a hangover, she thought. ‘Course, I'm barely 18; I don’t know what a hangover feels like. Damn goody-goody image!
She took a long, hot shower. As the water ran over her head it began to take off some of the numbing pain she felt of waking up alone. She started to rethink the past night.
Starting with Brian’s screaming at 1:17 AM the night had spiraled out of control. After she got his seemingly endless tears under some control, he had fallen back asleep. She had gone back to the couch, but was once again awakened by him. This time, he was placing her arms around his neck, Juliet style, as he carried her back to bed with him. There, Brian had held her in his arms so tenderly she had to remind herself of Leighanne. The embrace had been so easy, so natural. She spent the remaining hours of night with her head on his shoulder as he slept peacefully for a while.
And now? a voice in her head asked. Nothing, she replied. The video for I’ll Never Break Your Heart is shot. Brian goes back to Leighanne and both of them become the success stories of 1997/1998. Megan and I reconcile. I go to school and work on my writing. And life is just peachy for everyone. Satisfied with her version of the future she turned off the water and finished her morning routine.
* * * * *
“WHAT?” she screamed, still upset about being unable to contact Malia or Brian.
“On second thought I’ll call you back,” she replied, clearly shaken.
“It’s okay. I'm sorry. It’s just that . . . Brian found out about Chris!” she blubbered.
“Chris?”
“This guy I was having a fling with. And Brian walked off with Malia and I haven’t been able to talk to either of them since Saturday afternoon and he’s supposed to be in love with me and I never meant to do this and, and, and, and . . .”
“Leighanne! Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Better?”
Megan heard the sound of several deep breaths being taken. “No!”
“Well fake it till you make it. Look, if Brian’s smart he’ll come back to you.”
“We need to destroy Malia though,” Leighanne said with a sneer.
“Leighanne, in case you’ve forgotten, I am not mad at Malia, nor do I have a reason to be.”
“Well, remember that when you call me because she slept with your boyfriend!” A horrible rumor began to take shape in Leighanne’s mind.
“Wait a second! I'm confused!”
“Malia slept with Brian,” Leighanne said, enunciating each word.
“Nope. That’s not her style.”
“Well she just got a makeover. She slept with him all right,” Leighanne lied, becoming more convincing by the second.
“And the cow jumped over the moon! Are you sure?”
“Yep.”
“Well, then I guess you do have a reason to go after her. But Leighanne, is a guy really worth all this?”
“Would you want to be friends with a boyfriend stealing slut? Didn’t think so. Just don’t talk to her tomorrow, k?”
“Ok,” Megan agreed as guilt pangs began to surface. “I need to go now Leighanne. Don’t be overly cruel. ‘Bye.”
Leighanne’s pretty features twisted into a scowl. Brian probably thinks I'm sitting at home, moping because he caught me. Yeah right, she thought. Just wait till his precious girlfriend goes down Monday!
* * * * *
Brian drove home, also reflecting on the past night. The way Malia had fit into his body, her movements, the way she had calmed him and held him all were stuck in his mind. The whole thing was so natural, so real, he thought. But you still didn’t have to do what you did. You didn’t have to pick her up off the couch and you sure didn’t have to let yourself become fascinated by her. Damn, Littrell, you’re under some sort of stupid spell.
He leaned back and sighed. “And you didn’t need to leave her another ‘phantom message’ on the computer,” he said out loud. “You’re a genius Littrell.” And you don’t have to be happy about all this! He chose a CD at random to listen to. When there’s no one there who understands, there’s always music, he thought. Mindlessly he drove around through neighborhoods and side streets, not wanting to return home.
He found himself parked in front of Leighanne’s. . . . “Unless you talk to her things aren’t going to get any better. You can’t just ignore this and assume nothing’s going to happen,” Brian heard Malia say. “And I'm going to tell you this: you’re in love with Leighanne. You’re reeling from the shock of what she did but you still love her. Unless you talk to her and either finish or restart things you’ll be hanging in-between. And that’s worse than anything.”
“She’s right,” he said aloud. “Well, time to break it off.” He slowly walked to Leighanne’s door and rang the bell.
“Oh Brian!” she sighed upon seeing him. She flung her arms around his neck. “I knew you would come to your senses. Mmmm . . . you’re wearing that cologne,” she rambled.
“Thanks for the enthusiastic greeting,” Brian said, peeling her arms off his neck. “I actually came not to get back together-“ Leighanne looked shocked-“but to officially end this.”
Leighanne eyed him and laughed. “Wait, let me guess! Malia spent the night with you!” She chuckled and looked him up and down.
He scowled at her. “That’s none of your business but why do you ask?”
“Baby if I had a dollar for every time one of those broken hearted guys came up to her . . . whoa, I wouldn’t need a career.”
“Speak in English please.”
“Did she try something?” Leighanne formulated an even better lie. “Baby, all those guys hang out with her because they know they can get lucky on a heartbreak story.” She judged his slightly rumpled clothing. “I'm gonna guess you did too.”
“Leighanne if I had a dollar for every time you lied to me I wouldn’t need a career either. Did you know you can’t lie well at all? Go take an acting class. Bitch,” he spat at her feet, underneath his breath.
“Well your stupider than I thought Brian Littrell. So it was Malia you were with last night. I wouldn’t of known who you were with had you not defended her.” She fiddled with her perfectly styled her hair.
He sighed. “That doesn’t change things. The point is, I thought and cried a whole lot last night. It’s over. We both need to move on.”
Leighanne shook her head. “We haven’t even talked about this . . . “ She traced a gentle line of kisses down his jaw line.
“Because it’s not open for discussion. I don’t hate you Leighanne, I have respect for you in fact. I would actually like to remain in contact with you.”
“You mean like this?” she said, wrapping a leg around his.
“No!” he responded, pushing her off. “Like email and phone calls. And I suppose I’ll see you around. But,” he resisted her coming on to him again, “I am not in love anymore.”
She rolled her eyes. We’ll see, she thought. “All right Brian. I'm not going to stand here like some stupid teenage girl and cry.” He walked to the door.
“Goodbye Leighanne,” he told her, leaving a kiss on her lips as he shut the door.
Oh yeah, that really was strong, she laughed silently as she saw Brian’s figure drive away. Idiot! Doesn’t he know I'm not that easy to shake?
You will always be a part of me
I am part of you indefinitely
Oh boy, don’t you know you can’t escape me?
Oh darlin’ cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re ever gonna shake me
Oh darlin’ cause you’ll always be my baby
The familiar chorus of ‘their song’ replayed itself in her mind. “Good ole’ Mariah had it right,” Leighanne said as she prepared to go out. “He’ll always be my baby.”
* * * * *
Hello Malia, the computer read, giving her yet another phantom message. It’s 7 AM and I'm leaving you now. Thank you for everything. I don’t think you’ll ever know what you’ve done to help me. Maybe someday you’ll understand. I hope you do. I have a new closing for you, instead of none at all.
I love you,
Brian (Yes, I wrote ‘I love you’ . . . this next step is up to you)
A warm blush spread itself up to Malia’s cheeks. Every part of her, from her tips to her toes, felt like it was glowing some sort of magic. I'm magic, Brian’s magic, we’re magic, she thought giddily. For a once precious minute she radiated with happiness and pure pleasure.
Then her conscience came back. Leighanne, it whispered. Leighanne didn’t hurt you. Why hurt her? And didn’t you just agree to the future of those two getting back together about an hour ago?
With those thoughts Malia collapsed into a sobbing heap on her keyboard.
* * * * *
Malia threw the core of her apple into the trashcan as though she wanted to kill it. Monday morning on the set of I’ll Never Break Your Heart had not been going well. She turned around and observed the rest of the cast.
Megan and the other female extras seemed to be having a good laugh about something. And why not? The day had been kind to them. The boys seemed to be enjoying the same sort of peace. And Brian. Well, what about Brian? Brian was sitting with his arm around Leighanne.
So much for ‘I love you.’
| Chapter Ten |