* * * * *
That Saturday, hours after she had found the compliments, a healthy flush still rose in her cheeks at the memory. Singing, she cleaned the last fluffy kernels of corn from her sofa . . .
* * * * *
He hadn’t even meant to go into her study. Obviously, she hadn’t wanted him to see those poems. They were too personal. But temptation won him over, and he read them all.
Boy, I hope she doesn’t know that was me, and doesn’t think to hard on that, Brian worried as he pulled into her parking lot, just as . . .
A car horn sounded. Chris had arrived. How sweet. He's such a romantic, she thought sarcastically.
"Ready?" he asked as she climbed in to his SUV.
"Yeah, and hello to you too," she said, giving him a kiss. "Let’s go to the mall already."
* * * * *
"I have no clue! You’re a girl, and Leighanne’s best friend, so help me out here!" he replied.
"How about a platinum engagement ring with a two karat diamond?"
"Oh yeah, sure, and next, I’ll buy Hawaii," he bit back. "Something that’s a little more realistic please. This is only an anniversary."
"Are we talking CD’s, jewelry, or clothing?"
"I don’t know. I just gave her a dress . . . what do you think she would want?" Brian shrugged.
"I can give you stuff she would like and appreciate having but if you really want to make her happy give her something straight from your heart."
"You want me to sing?" he joked. "I am honestly out of ideas. A CD? A book? What do you think?"
"I want you to sing, but I won’t speak for Leighanne. Umm . . . I don’t really know what she’s into musically right now . . . but she’s always loved R&B. Brian, my thinking is get her a bracelet or necklace with your names and the date engraved on it. She may appreciate that more than anything."
Brian turned the idea over. "You know, you may be on to something. She may just want something simple like that." An hour-and-a-half later, after turning over silvers, golds, and what seemed like thousands of glittering stones, Brian reached a decision. "What do you think?" he asked.
"I think you made a wonderful choice," she reassured him. "She’ll be so surprised and awed."
"Whew! If it passes your test then it should do." He yawned. "You and your party kept me up too late."
"Hey, it wasn’t my idea to invite you!" she retorted as she stepped off the escalator.
"Oh, thanks,” he responded with her sarcasm. "You do wonders for my self-esteem."
"If I don’t take you down a notch or 100 who will?" she stopped outside Camelot Music. "Can we duck in here for a second, sleepyhead? I want to pick up a CD."
"Sure, why not? Then I need to get a soda and just sit. I am seriously tired girl."
"Excuse me!" a young teenager came up to him, wide-eyed in shock. "Are you Brian the Backstreet Boy?"
"Shh, yes, why?" he replied as Malia walked away.
"Ohmigosh! Will you sign this?" she thrust a brand new Backstreet Boys album at him. "Who is that girl?" she asked, narrowing her eyes and gesturing towards Malia.
"Sure. 'That girl' is a friend of mine. Now, shh, don’t tell anyone I'm here," he told her, giving a customary hug to his fan. The girl walked off with her friend, who had stood starstruck, and they walked off gesturing to Malia and whispering.
"Done wowing the crowd big guy?" Malia came up behind him and ruffled his hair.
"Ack!" he ducked. "That was fast. What did you get?"
"Mariah Carey’s Butterfly. And yes, I know that Always Be My Baby is your song with Leighanne."
Brian shot her a look. "Does she tell you everything?"
More than you would want to know, especially regarding Chris, she mentally replied. "Yeah, pretty much. Now come on, I am craving a Coke." As they searched the area for a table Malia saw a horrible scene play out: Leighanne and Chris. She was kissing him and had her arms wrapped around his neck. His hands were buried in her hair. The two seemed perfectly content. She quickly pointed out a table in the section farthest from the happy 'couple.'
"No way!" Brian told her, as she tried to get him to just sit down. "There is no sunshine here, and you need a healthy dose, Eeyore." He grabbed her and dragged her over to a table close to Leighanne.
You’re on your own Littrell, she thought. I tried, I tried. I tried to tell Leighanne and Chris not to do this. I tried to keep you out of this area. Well, too late. She took a long drink of her soda, trying to steel herself for the scene that was about to explode.
"Oh God . . . " Brian whispered as Leighanne turned around with a self-satisfied smirk. He stood up, sending his chair flying with a screech. At the sound Leighanne turned around, clearly annoyed at whoever was spoiling her bliss.
Oh my Lord, she mouthed. She quickly glided over to Brian and Chris followed suit.
“I'm sorry!” she cried. "I didn’t mean to do this! It’s all a big misunderstanding!" she wailed to Brian, burying her head in his chest.
"Leighanne . . . " Brian murmured. "Tell me what was going on. Tell me the truth." He turned to Chris. "I don’t believe we’ve met . . . "
"Ignore him!" Leighanne cried. "I was just having a fling with him. Oh Brian, it was all a mistake!"
“Liar.” The word hung in the air. “Try six months to last Monday,” Chris lashed out.
Brian’s face contorted in shock. "SIX MONTHS? Leighanne, you realize that on Tuesday we’ll have been ‘dating’ for a year . . . am I to understand that these past six months have been a lie?"
Leighanne shot Chris a look to kill him with. "In truth? Six months. But I don’t love him! I realized that the second I saw your face again!"
Brian sighed. "Leighanne this is not the time nor the place." He raised a hand to touch her face, then withdrew it. "Goodbye Leighanne." And he walked away.
"No! Brian I love you!" she cried running after him, but he ignored her.
"Look," he growled. "There are two ways to do this: Quickly and easily, with no rumors and ongoing pain. Or, you can drag this on. I don’t even know if this is the end. I just can’t talk to you right now." He spun around again and walked off. Leighanne started after him once more but Chris stopped her.
"Let him go," he told her, and tried to kiss her. As he drove her home her mind schemed at ways to get back together with him . . . and by the time Chris dropped her off she had a plan to set in action . . . all she had to do was get Malia out of the picture . . .
* * * * *
He sighed, knowing he was partly to blame for her disappearance. But wait, he thought. Didn’t she know all along? She sure didn’t seem surprised. He didn’t have any more time to dwell on the idea as he saw her standing by a payphone, with her Discman on, mouthing the lyrics to an unknown song.
"Hey," he said.
"Oh!" she looked startled. "Do you want to go home? I can call for a ride to make things easier." She nervously chewed a nail.
"Don’t," he reprimanded, removing her hand. "How would you feel about going to a movie or something?"
"Umm . . . ok." She studied his face. He looked blank. "What do you want to see?"
"Doesn’t really matter," he said.
"I have another idea: why don’t you and I just go home?"
"Because you’re going to have fun with me, even if it kills you!"
"It will," she said dryly. "I’ll be dead before I have fun with you."
* * * * *
Brian stared at the wall just past Malia’s shoulder. God, she’s beautiful, he realized. If it weren’t for Leighanne . . . but I'm free now, right? The answer to his question lay in his heart, and it clearly was waiting for a sign to love someone else.
"Brian?" Malia asked softly. "I'm not going to sit here and watch you stare past me for another fifteen minutes. May I take a guess?" She didn’t wait for an answer. "Leighanne?"
"Yeah." Brian’s simple statement confirmed all of Malia’s fears.
"Brian? Is there a way I can get you to talk about it?" She stood up and began putting their bowls into the dishwasher. "You can’t just keep it to yourself. It’s going to have to come out sometime."
He sighed. "Yeah, I’ll talk about it if you’ll listen."
"Deal. Will you just let me get something?" She opened a door that Brian assumed led to her room. On impulse, he followed her and sat down on the bed. She reappeared, carrying some sort of notebook.
"What’s with that?" Brian asked from behind her as she began to shut the door.
She spun around. "Gee, thanks for the heart attack Brian." She sat down next to him with one leg tucked under and one dangling over the side of the bed. "So . . . where do you want to start?" she asked.
For the next hour Malia listened as Brian opened up his heart, recalling the funny bits of the whole thing, the agony of separation, and the afternoon.
"I can’t believe it!" He slammed a fist down on a pillow. "Six months?! She was lying, right?" Malia couldn’t meet his eyes. "Look at me!" He held her face in his hands and shook her. "Tell me, because you know, what was really going on!"
"Stop it! That hurts!" she lied, breaking eye contact. "I don’t think you really want to know the truth Brian."
"Oh don’t give me that junk. I'm 22 years old and I think I can handle this."
"Fine." Her voice sounded dead. "Six months is correct. She knew . . . she knew that your relationship was going to end sometime. She kept you on for reasons I don’t know, but that’s about all I can say."
He rolled his eyes. "A fat lot of help you are.”
"Brian, I'm sorry, so sorry, that I can’t be everything. Just tell me why you want to know everything. Don’t you think it would be better to turn the page, put the shoe on the other foot, etc.?"
A lone tear traced a ragged path down Brian’s cheek. Tentatively, Malia placed her arms around his shoulders. He leaned his head on her hands and she began to feel his tears flow faster as he tried to muffle his sobs.
"It’s okay," she whispered. "Everything is going to be okay, Brian I promise that. Everything is going to be all right." She felt his shoulders begin to shake and her heart grieved--not only for him, but for her own helplessness in the matter. For what seemed the longest five minutes of her life, Brian simply broke down, moaning phrases and words, all jumbled together as he sobbed. Malia had enough sense not to speak as she held him, rocking back and forth on the bed, praying that someone could ease his pain.
Slowly, very slowly, Brian’s sobs began to become calmer and less desperate. She felt him take several deep breaths and open his eyes. She released her arms and he sat up.
"Feel any better?"
He sighed. "Strangely, yes. Malia . . . thanks . . . I owe you . . . " he fumbled for words. Realizing his hopelessness he shoved his hands in his pockets and blushed at the ground.
"Brian? Now what?" She glanced at the clock on the wall. Midnight had come.
Brian stifled a yawn. "I don’t know . . . I can’t even think for myself right now."
"Just get some sleep." She tried to get him to lean back at rest. He didn’t resist.
"And you’ll sleep where?" he yawned.
"There’s a trundle under the bed," she lied. "Shhh. It’s midnight Brian, get some rest."
She sighed as she saw his eyes close. She quietly snuck out of the room, hoping he didn’t wake up.
Malia flopped onto the couch. Absently she began to twirl sections of her hair. On to table lay the phone. 27 new calls, Caller ID beeped silently. She smiled at her foresight to turn off the ringer. All but two of the 27 calls were from Leighanne. She quietly slid the ringer on and its shrill sound pierced the air. She lunged at it. Oh please, don’t wake up Brian, she prayed. He didn’t. Yawning, she stretched out on the couch under the afghan and dozed lightly.
What seemed to be a minute later, but was in actuality an hour, she heard Brian calling and crying. Huh?! Where am I? she thought, suddenly awake. Brian’s sobs grew louder. "I'm coming Brian," she called, running back to her room. What she saw broke her heart.
* * * * *
| Chapter Nine |