| Chapter Four: Grammar Lesson |

“Alright!” cheered Brian, quickly yanking at his tie. He flew over the desk and crashed right into Malia, who was turned around, and was taken down with him.

“Oops,” he apologized with a sheepish grin.

“I'm not mad . . . “ said Malia who quickly began tickling him. “I'm even!” She kept tickling him for a few more seconds, watching him writhe as he howled, then let him go, to the boos of the rest of the cast who had been having a good laugh at Brian’s expense.

“You think I'm going to let you get away with that, woman?” Brian gasped in between fits of hysterical laughter. He stood up, desperate for breath. Lunging at her, she shrieked shrilly as he hit her own torture spot. “Stop! Stop! I take it back!” she giggled, instantly falling to the floor.

“See that’s the problem with my fans,” Brian announced, shaking his head. “They all turn into putty at my feet.”

“Yeah . . . while they’re retching!” jeered a cameraman. Brian faked a wince, not noticing that Malia, although winded, had collected Leighanne and Megan, who had watched the entire exchange with amazement and astonishment. One, two, three, go! Brian heard a soft whisper behind him as someone yelled for him to “watch out, they’re behind you.” Too late. The trio was upon him followed by Nick, Kevin and Howie, who snuck up behind the girls and tickled them. AJ stood watching, shaking his head. He threw up his hands and joined the fray. The whole group fell onto the floor in a laughing heap.

“No more!” Leighanne begged, to an unmerciful Howie, who continued to tickle her neck. “Stop, stop! I mean it! Stop!”

“You eight lunatics all lost this one!” one of the cameramen broke in. “I got this on tape,” he jeered. “America’s Funniest Home Videos, here I come baby! Who wouldn’t pay to see the great Brian Littrell at the mercy his girlfriend Malia?”

The group laughed, except for Leighanne, Malia, and Brian who exchanged a tense look. “I'm not his girlfriend,” she clarified. “Leighanne is.”

“Well, imagine how many teenyboppers would pay just to see Brian attacked by a group of girls! It’s insane over in Germany and Europe You can make some big bucks there.” He rubbed his hands and diabolically laughed. “And Kevin, you sure can be cruel. You didn’t let up on poor Megan!” The group all turned to Megan who still sat on the floor. She dusted herself off and stretched.

“What, did I miss something?” she asked innocently.

“C’mon, let’s go you guys, we only have . . . 26 minutes,” Kevin tried to prod the herd of cameramen, crew, and extras into the lunch area.

“Leighanne, do you want to eat with us, or with Brian?” asked Malia, elongating Brian in a teasing tone.

“Actually, why don’t you chow down with me?” Brian proposed. “Everybody wins. And if you’re going to tickle me you should be prepared to finish the job . . .” he winked. “FOOD FIGHT!”

“On second thought Malia, I may just eat with you and Megan,” laughed Leighanne. Brian shot her, Malia, and Megan puppy dog eyes.

“Malia, Malia, Malia!” Brian mimicked the Brady style. “Well I haven’t heard two words out of Megan, together.”

“I am,” Megan delivered.

“Praise the Lord! She speaks!” Brian launched into a victory dance, which seemed to involve the steps of the funky chicken gone wrong. Very, very wrong.

“I knew knowing the shortest sentence in the English language would come in handy someday,” Megan said as they entered the lunchroom.

“I can tell you the most used,” boasted AJ, coming up behind them.

“Really? What is it?” Malia turned around and faced him head on as she bought a sandwich and followed Megan, Leighanne, and Brian outside to eat.

“I love AJ! I love AJ!” he chanted. “Assuming we’re in Europe of course. And Canada. There it’s definitely ‘I love AJ!’”

“No way!” protested Nick, who brought with him Kevin and Howie. “It’s ‘I love Nick!” He gave AJ a friendly slug in the arm. “You know how it is . . . girls swoon over the blonde one.” He shrugged.

“Who said being dark, tall, and handsome was out?” Kevin demanded.

“And what about Latin Lovers?” asked Howie. “We’re waiting for your answer little guy.”

“Well I know how to settle this,” said Brian as they sat down. “It’s ‘I love Brian!’ C’mon, you know you can’t deny it, it’s ‘I love Brian!’” Malia laughed, and shoved him as they sat down.

“Don’t make me tickle you,” threatened Megan. “Or, better yet, I’ll set Leighanne on you.”

“That’s not torture!” Howie protested. Malia rolled her eyes along with Brian.

The remainder twenty minutes of lunch passed quickly. Although Malia was lucky enough to get a seat next to Brian she rarely said anything to him-Leighanne had him, hook, line, and sinker.

“Back to work, y’all,” Brian announced, checking his watch.

“One word: Ugh!” voiced Kevin, saying the thoughts of the group.

“Well, I can’t speak for ‘y’all’ but this has been like a dream for me,” said Malia.

“Me too!” agreed Andrea.

“Yep,” seconded Alice, who like her sister, had mostly kept quiet through the day. “This has been wonderful so far.”

“Girls!” the boys groaned. Laughing, they all entered to shoot the rest of the scenes.

The day passed swiftly, with almost no mistakes, and before any of them knew it the girls were heading back to wardrobe to change.

“Ahhhhhh!” sighed Malia. “A plain old khaki skirt never felt so good! Not to mention my own shoes,” she continued, slipping into white sneakers.

“Yeah,” agreed Andrea. “I’ve never been so grateful to have my own pants back!” The girls laughed.

“Oh yeah!” Alice seconded. “It feels like weights on my eyelids. My gosh, how much did they need to use?”

“Well I don’t know about you four, but I didn’t think it was that awful,” said Leighanne. “It was just for a little while.”

“True,” admitted Malia. “But I want these stupid baby braids out of my hair, and I want to give it a good brush before we leave tonight!” She began unplaiting the tiny braids that had been taken back across her head like a band. Flipping her head upside down she rubbed her scalp vigorously. “That feels good!”

“I don’t know why you are so upset about your hair,” Andrea said. “At least you looked a little bit like how you did when you came in this morning. They totally killed my style!” she groaned looking into a mirror. “Ugh. I was not meant to have long waves.”

“Hate to say it, but I agree!” said Alice. The girls walked over to the sinks to begin peeling away at the layers and layers of makeup. Fifteen minutes later Leighanne, Megan, and Malia emerged, looking natural. Malia had slipped on a headband so her straight hair fell down to her chest, and had swept on a pastel eye shadow and lip-gloss. Leighanne had done the same and Megan had put on some powder and mascara. 

“Hey! It’s the triplets of doom!” kidded Brian as they met up in the parking lot. “Don’t even think about it!” he called to Malia who was stepping closer to him. He dodged, and she walked back to the girls.

“That’s it Brian, just run away, run away little boy!” they taunted. He grinned.

“Look, I’d love to stand around gabbing, but I have to drive back to my apartment, so I had better get going,” said Malia checking her watch.

“Where do you live?” asked Kevin.

“Perfect! Now that everyone is settled what are you doing tonight Leighanne?” Brian broke in. 

“Hanging out with you, whether you like it or not!” she told him. She put her arm around his waist and leaned on his side. “I don’t know. I don’t have plans.”

“Look Leighanne, I hate to do this, but Lia and I need to get going.” Megan broke in.

“Lia?” asked Brian, scrunching up his face. “Malia?”

“Congratulations boy wonder!” Malia replied to Brian. “Yeah, I am going to drive back tonight at least, Megan do you want to crash with me?” she asked, as the waved goodbye to the boys.

“Hang on!” Brian stopped them. “It’s only 5. How can you not do anything with the rest of the day?”

“I don’t have plans, so I'm just going home to write or something,” Malia replied. “Bye Andrea and Alice, see you bright and early tomorrow!” She called to the twins who were driving away. Scanning the rest of the lot she saw Howie and AJ playing Horse with Amanda.

“You write?” Brian rolled his eyes. “I should’ve known. Well you can’t leave yet, all three of you.”

“Oh really?” asked Megan. “May I ask why?”

“Because . . . “ Brian started advancing towards Malia, who backed right up into a car. “You wouldn’t just stand there while I tortured your best friend would you?” He began to tickle her and she started laughing like crazy.

“Leigh . . . Megan . . . Get him!” Malia gasped. “Help me out!” Her friends just stood there. Sliding down to the ground, she slipped out of Brian’s reach and ran behind Leighanne. Using her as a shield, she ran from Brian, who had now started in on Leighanne.

“Kevin! C’mon man, you’re my cousin, help me out here, it’s three against one!” Brian pleaded to Kevin who stood watching the four laughing.

“You got yourself into this one! Good luck!” Kevin replied. Malia, who realized that Leighanne was worthless now that she was consumed by giggles, employed Megan to help her get Kevin, who hadn’t even noticed he was about to be their next victim. Kevin was known as ‘the serious one’ but his face was anything but serious as he was dragged into the fray. Leighanne had somehow freed herself of Brian and he managed to attack Malia before they all lay on the ground again.

“That it!” Malia choked out. “No more physical contact-EVER!” She gently pushed Brian’s head off her stomach.

“Then how are Leighanne and Brian going to survive?” teased Megan. She shielded her eyes as she watched some inline skaters move swiftly down a nearby bike path. “That looks like fun. “When was the last time we went skating Malia?”

“About a month ago. I fell and ripped my skirt up the back, remember? You had to shield me all the way home! Boy, the park never seemed so far away!” she laughed, as she recalled.

“You wore a skirt rollerblading?” Leighanne, Kevin, and Brian asked in disbelief.

“Who else would?” said Megan. Malia shoved her.

“Well you gave me an idea,” said Leighanne. “There’s a roller rink in town, how about we all go and act like little kids again?”

“I'm game,” said Brian. Malia and Megan agreed as well.

Kevin shrugged. “Why not? Should I ask Howie, Nick, and AJ?”

“Sure!” Leighanne told him. “I’ll go with you,” she stood up and stretched. “Happy Brian? Now we all have something to do tonight. It’s a shame Andrea and Alice live so far away. I bet they would have wanted to come.”

The rest of the group stood up, dusting off the dirt and leaves clinging to their clothes. Leighanne’s hair glimmered gold as she went to invite AJ, Nick, and Howie. Judging by her smile, it looked like they said yes. “Ready you guys?” she asked, upon return.

“Let’s go!” said Megan.

“Malia, Megan, why don’t you ride with Brian and me?” suggested Leighanne. “You know, save the Earth, take only two cars.” She laughed. “Remember . . .”

“Don’t!” shrieked Malia, recalling the same memory as Leighanne. “And not you either!” she ordered Megan.

“Don’t what?” asked AJ, raising his eyebrows over his signature shades.

“Never mind!” the three girls said in unison.

Brian twirled a finger at the side of his head. “Let’s go already. We have to be here early tomorrow so we should get going.” Clamoring into cars the group headed over to go rollerblading. Brian was driving and Malia sat up front as well.

“So you’re a student. What’s your major?” Brian asked Malia as Leighanne and Megan yakked away. Good. She’s warming up to Leighanne, thought Malia.

“I'm double majoring in History and English,” she told him. “I'm also taking a really interesting jour-"

“Turn here!” Leigh shouted suddenly. Malia and Megan were thrown against their windows and even Brian winced.

“Whoa! That was fun!!!!!! Thanks for the warning,” he teased. “Now what was it you were saying . . . “ he shot a quick look at Malia, who was now peeling herself off the glass.

“Something irrelevant. Hey, Leighanne, did you take the extra calculus course last year?” Malia twisted around.

“Nope. I hated Math too. Why?”

“Shoot. I just realized that I have a couple Math classes coming up, and everything that guy said went over my head. I still have my notes, though.” Malia explained. “I’ll live.” She smiled. “At least I get to take my Byzantine history course as a conciliation ‘prize.’

“UGH! Don’t even get my started on my hatred of history!” groaned Brian. “All it is contains is a bunch of dates and names! Talk about BORING!”

Malia recoiled in shock. “Well, to each her own. Personally, I love ancient history. And we have some great stories of a particular teacher don’t we guys? But I digress.”

“What do you mean ‘stories?” asked Brian, shooting another look at Malia. “And what teacher?”

“Little Ms. Genius over there was known for outsmarting out teacher. He wasn’t always there, if you know what I mean. Like he’s been known to leave maps down during tests with map questions and such,” Leighanne jumped in.

“No kidding?” Brian looked surprised.

“A girl can either be pretty or smart. Guess which category I fall into.” Malia said, almost overly sarcastic.

Not true, and you’re a good example of that, Brian wanted to shout. He bit his lip, and judging Leighanne’s jealous streak decided it would be the wiser move to keep his mouth shut.

“Well, we’re here,” said Megan, looking out the window. AJ’s SUV pulled up behind them. “Remind me again why I consented to do this.”

“Take comfort: You’re as bad as me!” joked Malia. She opened her car door to see Brian about to do it for her. He gave an exaggerated bow and she dipped a low curtsy. He bent over to kiss her hand like the men in old movies but at this she rolled her eyes and walked inside. He hurt expression caused her to laugh.

“Howie, tell me what I did wrong!” he moaned. The group giggled.

“Megan is it just me, or does is Malia doing something to Brian behind my back?” Leighanne asked quietly. “I don’t like this at all!”

| Chapter Five |