Malia twisted her paper lunch bag with a satisfying crunching sound, hoping to disturb the once again happy couple. What did I get out of this? she asked herself. I got a night in Brian’s arms and a nice dream. In the process my best friends turned against me, thinking I'm a slut. Thanks Brian!
Malia knew that Leighanne and Megan had been telling the cast and crew she had slept with Brian. But considering the way Brian was looking at Leighanne, it would be a pretty hard sell, considering no one but the four knew about the temporary breakup. She slipped on her headphones as she walked out of the cafeteria, and into the hot, humid air outside.
Dark gray clouds rolled past, looking ready to bring a thunderstorm. Matches my mood, she thought sarcastically. Long ago, you used to want me, now it’s all so far away, she heard as the CD cued up. “Long ago my foot!” With that she switched CD’s. Fat and sticky raindrops began to pelt her skin but she remained outdoors to avoid the looks Brian kept shooting her. “I don’t need Brian holding me,” she muttered as she kicked the brick wall. Kick, kick, kick.
* * * * *
“Do you know what tomorrow is?” Leighanne asked him, smiling.
“Um? The end of these dreaded videos?” he joked, knowing it was their anniversary.
She swatted him. “One year Brian. One year.”
“Six months, Leighanne.” His face hardened. “Six months.”
She sighed. “Can’t we just put that behind us and move on?”
He nodded. “I have. But Leighanne, this is going to be like starting back at square one. Not that I don’t love you.” He smiled. “Take my word there. It’s the trust that will take so long.”
“I know.” She took his hand across the table. “But we can make this work. I know we can.”
Idiot! Malia thought, watching the scene from a deserted corner. The rain and humidity had finally forced her inside. She rolled her eyes as she saw them talking intimately and nuzzling. She then heard the sound of footsteps behind her and turned around to see Kevin also observing them.
“Hi Kevin,” she said, suddenly shy. I wonder if he believes the rumors?
“Hi Nat.” He cocked his head, trying to puzzle out Brian and Leighanne. “I heard the rumor . . . “ He shook his head. “Brian told me the whole story of what happened. Neither of you did anything wrong, in light of the circumstances.”
She blushed slightly. “Thank you Kevin. I really needed to hear that.” She checked her watch. “I better get going . . . “ She took one last look at her dream and her best friend and turned to leave.
“Malia, one thing.” He also let his eyes linger on the couple. “Things aren’t always what they seem.”
“That’s always a good lesson. Even when it comes out of thin air. Now, if you’ll excuse me . . . “
“Let me put it to you plain: If Brian had any brains you would be at his side right now.”
Malia felt winded. “No, he belongs with Leighanne. Anyone can see that.”
Kevin shrugged. “Whatever you want to believe.” With that, the two parted.
* * * * *
> A few weeks later . . .
“Oh my God Malia, we’re going to be on TRL!” Megan shrieked from the couch. The two had reconciled the week before and although things were strained, for the most part life was generally normal.
“Shh! Carson’s going to give us more of his words of wisdom,” Malia mocked the VJ.
“ . . . the World Premiere of As Long As You Love Me by international superstars the Backstreet Boys, on Thursday’s Total Request Live!” The familiar opening chords chimed in, and Malia sat on the edge of a cushion to drink in the editors’ magic. She shot Megan a sideways look. She shrugged and continued watching. All too soon the screams of the crowd began to filter in, drowning out the very end of the song.
“That was the Backstreet Boys!” Carson announced again, and then launched into the familiar speech on how to vote.
“As if we needed reminding,” Malia said dryly. She got up to stop the tape. “Worth staying in for?” she asked Megan.
“Wait!” Malia left the tape in. “Listen!”
“ . . . a special surprise! The Boys are backstage right now. Should we bring them out?” The screams were deafening. “Here they are, AJ, Brian, Howie, Kevin, and Nick!”
“What’s up New York?” Kevin asked as they strode over to Carson.
“Alright, alright, we just saw the video for the third single off of the debut album. How do you guys feel about this song and then the video?” Carson asked.
“I really like the song,” Howie said. “It just reminds me of summer, it’s really happy. I hope it does well.”
“The video was a blast to make,” Brian added. “We were in my hometown, so I got to see my family. I don’t know about y’all but I really like the video.” The crowd backed him up.
“Malia, you’re blushing,” Megan teased.
“Shh! Shut up!” she responded.
“ . . . the question that could make or break millions of hearts. Are any of you guys dating?” Carson broke in.
Kevin shrugged. “I know Brian just split with his girlfriend-“ Malia held her breath.
“Yes, Brian, you’ve always had a somewhat public relationship with Leighanne Wallace.” Brian’s face flinched the tiniest bit at the name. “Is there anyone new in your life?”
“Well, like Kevin said, we broke up a little bit ago. I know someone here who’s on a really tight leash but we’re not supposed to say . . . “
“Well, as you can imagine, there are a ton of your fans gathered outside. So how about you guys go down and hang out with them?”
Nick crossed over to the window overlooking the street. “Hey, New York, how’d you like to meet us?” The crowd began waving and cheering.
“There you go!” Carson concluded. “The Backstreet Boys have incited organized chaos. When we come back the number one video and more with the boys.” A commercial started playing.
“Well, that was interesting,” Megan said. “Brian Littrell is available. And didn’t you two exchange email addresses at the party after I’ll Never Break Your Heart?”
“No. And if we did it wouldn’t matter. Can’t you read people’s emotions Megan?” She stopped the tape from recording. “He loves Leighanne, you dope.”
“Well, I want to know if this breakup stuff is true. You bookmarked that Leighanne fan site, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Come on!” Megan dragged Malia to the computer. “Log on, find the site, kay?”
“You will get yours someday.”
“Just load the page Nat.”
“There you go.” A studio shot of Leighanne greeted them. Brian and Leighanne over? According to rumors, and confirmed by Brian himself, it appears that the couple has gone separate ways. For more information click here, she read.
“Well, what are you waiting for?! Click!”
Apparently, Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell has split with Leighanne Wallace. The two had been going out for about a year. Neither has given a reason, but it appears the split is permanent. Brian had been seen with one of her friends at a local Kentucky mall, but confirmed that he was still dating Leighanne. Click here to read the sighting, the two read silently.
“Click again,” Megan said.
Backstreet/Leighanne Sightings
July 1997
Kentucky mall
My friend Ashley and I were at a music store and Brian Littrell was there! I got him to sign my CD! When I pointed out the girl (I think it was Leighanne’s friend Malia) (Editor’s Note: Check out “Leighanne’s Friends” for more) he said she was a “good friend” of his. She didn’t say anything; I don’t think she knew we were talking to him. I don’t think Leighanne fans have anything to worry about, though. She’s not very pretty, and Brian’s said he was still with Leighanne.
“Let me guess? Go to Leighanne’s Friends?”
“You’re getting too good at this,” Megan replied.
Leighanne’s Friends
Megan’s Stats
Name: Megan (No other identification)
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Info: She and Leighanne have been friends since high school.
Physical description: None available.
Malia’s Stats
Name: Malia Collins
Age: 17 or 18
Occupation: Student
Info: Has been friends with Leighanne since middle school.
Physical Description: Long, almost black hair. Brown eyes. Average height. Average looking. (Thanks Ashley!)
Sightings: She was seen with Brian at the mall in July.
There was more but the two stopped reading. “I don’t know whether to be flattered or to get ready to send hate mail,” Malia said.
“They’ve got more info on you than me! Be proud! Plus, they keep linking you with Brian, and not Leighanne. Hmmm . . . something you’re not telling me?”
“I think you know everything at this point. I'm going to go get a Coke, hold it over my throbbing head, and then I just might cry all over you, just for fun.”
“Well, it’s been a nice afternoon . . . “
“Ciao Megan. I'm glad we’re friends again.” She sighed. “Well, we made it big. We’re on the most popular Leighanne fan site!”
“Oh joy,” she said, shutting the door. Malia flopped back onto the couch.
“What do you think Max?” she asked the tired dog, who lay cozy in a corner. “Or do you only sleep?” He rolled over in response, signifying that he was ready to have his stomach petted. She laughed and went back to reading. Meanwhile . . .
* * * * *
Brian winced and covered his ears. “Yeah, a few hundred screaming girls mobbing us . . . let’s do it again, oh, maybe, never.”
“It’s the price you’re going to have to pay, Brian,” Howie told him. “Is there something you’re not saying? You’ve been really edgy lately.”
“He’s mooning over Leighanne,” AJ broke in, slipping on his headphones.
“Someone else feeling a little antisocial?” Brian quipped.
“Maybe he’s right,” Kevin mused. “Look, it’s been a few weeks now. Are you sure you’re over her?”
“It’s not Leighanne,” Nick announced. “I know where his brain is.” He grinned evilly.
“Where then?” Howie asked, not in the mood for Nick’s pranks and jokes.
“He’s daydreaming about Malia.”
“Malia who?” Kevin asked, as a crazy taxicab driver cut him off. “Yeah, back at you,” he muttered as the driver extended a finger.
“The girl from the video,” Nick said. “She was the brunette.”
"Oh, now that was descriptive," mocked Brian.
“Oh yeah her. She seemed nice enough,” Howie replied absently, then yawned.
“What, Brian’s love life not interesting enough D?” Nick joked.
“Children, children,” AJ scolded. “Brian, I have an idea: go have a one night stand or get some no strings attached girlfriend. You’ll be easier to be around once you’ve gotten lucky.”
“Shut up AJ!” Brian called from the front seat, not bothering to turn around. The rest of the boys laughed.
Kevin turned a thought over in his head. Maybe AJ’s right for once . . . just get in a casual relationship. No promises. He smiled. My cousin in a causal relationship? No way. Brian’s gotta have commitment and trust. He treats everything like a marriage; work, his family, everything.
“Seriously,” AJ continued. “Nick says you’re attracted to this Malia girl. She was the one at the roller rink, I remember her. Call her up. Ask her out. End of story. You know, going on date isn’t getting married.”
“Easy for you to say,” he replied. “You’re practically a hostage of Amanda.”
“A happy, friendly, peaceful hostage. And she’s a great captor.”
“Aw, shut up Bone.” Brian sighed. “If you’re not going to use that Discman give it to me!”
“Brian?”
“What Howie?”
“You go back to Kentucky tomorrow right?”
“Yeah, thank God, I just need to chill.”
“Call her up.”
“All of you leave me alone!” he snapped.
* * * * *
“What?” he replied, rolling over.
“Please don’t be mad at me Rok.”
“I'm not mad!”
“Uh huh, sure.”
“I take it back. You’ve made me mad.”
“Seriously. You’ve been a great older brother to me and I screwed up this afternoon.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Telling them that you like Malia.”
“Lying isn’t the greatest thing to do, but it doesn’t mean I hate you.”
“No, no, no!” Nick reached over and switched on the light between them. “You don’t get it!”
Brian rubbed his eyes. “No more fun and games. I'm tired, it’s late, and I have an early flight.” He started to turn the light off.
Nick stopped him. “I'm apologizing for telling them what you feel if you didn’t want them to know or maybe don’t even know yourself, so then you really don’t want them to know what you might not know, but what I know.” He scratched his head. “That came out wrong.”
Brian sighed. “Nick . . . “
“Look, Leighanne’s made you really unhappy. That night you spent at Malia’s, the day after you were pleasant, nice, fun,-“
“I was all those things because I had gotten back together with Leighanne!”
“Right sure. Do me--no us--a favor.” He paused. “Call Malia and ask her out.”
“She’s a writer. She’s not my type. She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t want me. She never said she was single-“
“She is single.”
“Whatever. She doesn’t want to be a Backstreet Girlfriend. She and I are not going to happen Nick.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“Sometimes it really hard to believe that at 17 you can be this immature and annoying. No more talk. Goodnight!”
“No more talk!” Nick imitated, dodging a pillow thrown at him.
* * * * *
Brian-- the piece of paper taped to the door read.
I know you just got home and boy do I feel guilty for skipping out on you like this. Welcome back! We’ve missed you, but we’ll catch up later. I should be back around four or so. Dad will be home as soon as he can. Any thoughts on dinner?
Mom
PS: Nick called. He said call “Malia.” Is there something you’re not telling me son?
He smiled. Mom always pulls through, he thought, looking at the slanted writing that was so familiar on gym notes and tardy slips. Rereading the message from Nick he sighed. Give it up Carter, it isn’t going to happen. He lugged his suitcase up the stairs and began the long task of unpacking.
* * * * *
At the same time . . .
Malia dropped a tray full of dirty dishes in the hot and crowded kitchen of the restaurant she worked at. “That’s it!” she sighed, reaching for the string on her apron-like cover.
“What? You’re not staying to help me?” Brenda asked. The two often worked the same shifts and gabbed constantly.
“Nope. I did the morning shift too and it already 1 PM.” She hung up her apron. “I'm out of here! It’s 79 degrees with a blue sky and sunny! You think I'm going to spend my time serving endless Coke refills?”
Brenda laughed. “I see your point. Ciao darling!” she called as she carried a loaded tray out.
* * * * *
A few hours later . . .
Let’s see, Malia sighed, and tucked her legs under her chin. Julie is in New York for dance. Clara’s with her family in Michigan. Megan is working tonight. Leighanne and I are estranged. I guess I'm on my own on a Friday night. I must be the only person on the face of the earth without plans tonight. The phone rang in the kitchen. Maybe not the only one, she added with a wry smile. “Hello, this is Malia.”
“Hi Malia,” a male voice drawled.
“Excuse me, I don’t want to be rude, but who I am I speaking to?” She rubbed her forehead in confusion.
“My name’s Brian Littrell. I am a member of a group called the Backstreet Boys. Yesterday I was on TRL. If you want to scream and yell wildly press one. If you feel faint press two. If you feel like you’re in heaven press three. If you feel like slamming down the receiver please do so now,” he imitated an automatic phone system.
“What if you feel like doing one, two, three, and possibly four?”
“Can you settle for five?”
“Depends. What’s five?”
“You agree to go to the movies with me tonight.” Brian felt his palms begin to sweat. I haven’t asked anyone out, since gosh, over a year. I didn’t even have to ask Leighanne. Oh great, she’s going to say no or something. She’s going to laugh in my face.
“This is kind of sudden.”
“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“Dang! That’s the one good part of your body. Aw, shucks, now why should I go out with you?” Malia kept up the friendly banter in order to avoid the question.
“Hmm. Because I'm really, really, really, really, really, really--“
“You can stop anytime, I got the point.”
“Really famous--“
“Overstatement of the year.”
“Fine then. Because I asked you.”
“You really want to go out to the movies?”
“Yes, I still put my pants on one leg at a time, just like I still do normal, average things.” Will you answer the question? Brian wanted to scream.
“I’ll go.”
“How about I pick you up in an hour or so?”
“You still know where I live?”
“Yes.”
“Okey-dokey, see you then!” She hung up as fast as she could. “Brian-Littrell-is-taking-me-to-the-movies-and-I-don’t-have-anything-to-wear-and-I-am-not-at-all-ready-for-this,” she expelled in one breath to Max. He rested his head in his paws and stared. “Help me out!” His eyes followed her as she began franticly ripping through her drawers for something to wear.
Wait a second. You didn’t care when you two were in the video. He’s expecting the same girl, not some idiotic hyper-spazzing blonde. She attempted to calm herself. Jeans? Too causal. White dress? Too fancy. Black skirt? Too over the top. “Max, help me out!”
Forty-five minutes later she was dressed in a khaki skirt and black tank top. Over the tank top she added a white short-sleeved shirt. Sandals completed a summer look. She added an extra coat of lip balm and swept on some eye shadow. Punctual to the minute, Brian rang the bell.
Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, Leighanne, her conscience repeated. It took everything she had not to throw herself at him. Brian sensed her uneasiness.
“Do you really want to go to a movie?” he asked.
“I don’t really care,” she replied, tucking in her skirt as she climbed into his car. How shall I classify this? Awkward friendship? “Would you rather do something else?”
“Actually, yes. There’s a lake nearby and if you’re lucky you can see a beautiful sunset. How’d you like to drive up there and talk?”
“Is it going to end the same as last time?”
Last time. I’d almost forgotten about that. I keep forgetting ‘we’ already have a past without ever being together. Brian recalled the night.
“No,” he said slowly. “Not the exactly the same.”
“Brian why can’t you get over Leighanne?”
“I came to ask you that.”
“Look, if that’s what you want from me,” he saw her large brown eyes blink back tears out of the corner of his eye, “just take me home. I don’t want to be anybody’s therapist. I thought you might actually want to know me this time, but if you don’t home is fine.” Oh great, she thought. Now you’re getting emotional.
He felt ashamed. You’re using her Littrell. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I'm sorry.”
“My fault, I think. I'm sorry Brian, I just have this funny feeling . . . nevermind. Let’s go to the lake.”
I bet this wasn’t want Nick had in mind when he told me to call her. God, I know I'm taking advantage of her. I'm taking her to ‘my’ spot with Leighanne. How stupid can I get? he thought.
“So, aside from TRL, what are you doing these next few weeks?” she asked brightly.
“We have about a month off right now, just a few little press conferences and appearances scattered in. At the end of August we start dance rehearsals for the tour, which starts in the middle of September. After the tour we have another month off, and God willing, we start the next album.”
She played with her necklace. “What are you going to do with your month?”
“Bug you to death. I don’t know; it’s nice not to have plans. A rare luxury considering we’re usually just handed a schedule.”
“So it’s really, truly, honestly over now with Leighanne,” she mused. “Hard to believe.
Brian led her over to a grassy area in the shade as they arrived. “Yeah, well things happen.” His mouth tightened. She sat back-to-back with him and felt him tip his head back against hers. “She didn’t stop seeing Chris. I didn’t care anymore. It was over a long time ago.”
“I don’t really want to talk about Leighanne.”
“How’s the future for a topic?” As in you and me, he mentally added. I hate you Nick Carter for being right. I am totally enchanted with the girl who is sitting next to me. Dangit!
“What future?” She hummed a familiar melody.
“What was that?”
“The song? Underneath The Stars. Rather fitting, isn’t it?” She pointed out the first stars beginning to pop out as the remaining colors of the night echoed across the water.
“Don’t know it.”
“Oh well.” They had both run out of comments. She started picking at her cuticles and biting her nails.
“Stop that.” He sighed. “Boy, this isn’t what I had in mind.”
“Gee thanks. I'm sorry I'm myself and not Leighanne or your dream girl,” she answered, slightly put off.
“No, no, no, it’s not you, it’s me.”
“So then don’t say anything and just let me--us--enjoy the night.”
For the next half-an-hour they watched the stars begin to sparkle in the midnight sky and reflect across the shimmering water. Sitting back-to-back she could feel his heart beat and every move he made.
“Malia? Remember what I wrote on your computer one day?”
“Yeah, I think I’ve never been more confused or mad but I moved on. Heck, you loved Leighanne; nothing was going to change that. I knew that it didn’t mean much.”
He stood up and extended his hand to pull her up. “Come on.”
“Come on where?”
“Anywhere.”
“I’d go anywhere for you, anywhere you asked me to,” she crooned, so much like Leighanne.
“Really?”
“Honestly? No.”
He shoved her. “Oh thanks! After all I do for you . . . this is what I get in return.”
“After all you do for me? Brian, you called me. That’s not doing much. I can call you just as easy. Well, no, I can’t I don’t have your number, but gosh, dialing seven digits isn’t hard.” He took her hand. “Oh I meant to tell you; I saw the oddest thing. Have you ever seen some of the Leighanne fan sites?”
“Yeah, a few. There’s this one really popular one, I can’t remember the name.”
“Leighanne.cjb.net or something. Well, anyway, it’s the most popular, and this girl had seen us at the mall that one day.” She laughed unnaturally. “So there’s this rumor we’re going out.”
He laughed. “People will exploit things to no degree.” He started the car. “So . . . “
Another awkward silence descended. “Well, thanks for an interesting evening,” she said as he neared her apartment complex.
“You’re very welcome,” he responded, walking her up to the door.
“Well . . . “ she said, shuffling her feet and slipping her key into the lock. Am I supposed to kiss him or something? This wasn’t a date . . . was it?
"Underneath The Stars"/Mariah Carey
| Chapter Eleven |