The Sign Makers

Do the Sign Maker's control us? They must have quite a lucrative income. I wonder if they are the ones down the street with the large houses. If I had thought about it when I was younger, I would have pointed my career that way..

I saw several signs on the way home today. One said "Watch for Range Cattle." O.K. and if I see one, what am I suppose to do? I've seen the same sign for deer and children. There is no phone number to call. I think they forgot to put in on there; guess there are a few Sign Makers who aren't very bright.

"Patrolled by Aircraft" is another sign. I really do feel safer when I see that sign. I often wonder "What kind is it?" Is there an F-15 soaring above to protect me? If someone cuts me off is he going to zoom down and blow the car off the road. I tend to think, though, it is a Stealth Fighter because I have never seen it. I wonder if those Sign Makers have a contract with the U.S Government. Does it help the pilots with target practice? Do the Sign Makers receive a certain amount of money for each car that gets blown off the road?

One that I have to disagree with is "Do Not Feed the Bears". I'm sorry but if a bear wants my lunch, it can have it. What am I going to do? "No, you big ugly hairy thing, you can't have it." I hate to tell the Sign Makers, but that bear is much bigger and meaner than I am. I really don't want to be dragged off into the woods over principle here. The Sign Makers have seen way too many cartoons with Yogi in them.

Another sign says "Workmen Ahead." That's O.K., if there are workman ahead, I should slow down. Every time I go by, though, there is no one working but there is a group of people on the side of the road drinking coffee. Looks as if it is a social meeting. Maybe there should be another sign for those times. "Workman on Break", would probably be up more often. I wonder if they are on the Sign Makers payroll?

"Slippery When Icy" - really got to love that one. When I walk to my car in the morning and fall on my ass, think I can figure out that it is slippery. "Watch for Blowing Snow" is another one that fits into that season. I hate to tell them this but when there is blowing snow, there is no way I can read their sign. Tell me, why are those signs out there in the summer when it is one hundred degrees? Do the Sign Makers have it so easy that they can just leave them there? Who did they buy off so they don't have to take them down?

I have often wondered about the "Stop" signs. Do they get an extra amount of money for making them a perfect octagon? Is there an underground industry that cuts them so perfectly? Do they have any influence over the Sign Makers or are they a sub-culture of the Sign Makers? Where is the "Go" sign? Is that the one that says "Go to Your Local Toyota Dealer for Big Savings?" If you ask me they are very confusing.

This time of year in the United States, the Sign Maker's are very busy because so many signs are pounded into the ground. One will say " A Vote for me is a Vote for your Kids." Now, I don't know about you but I really didn't vote for my kids, they were to young. Another will say that "He will Lower Taxes." I see so many tax dollars pounded into the ground it seems to me that he isn't telling the truth. The truth of the matter is that after the election, the signs are left there. After we decide they aren't going anywhere, someone gets hired to remove them. Shouldn't the Sign Makers pay for part of that? No I suppose they are immune from that.

There are even signs on cars these days. I have always thought that your car is and always should be your sanctuary. I really don't want people reading my car. I saw one the other day that had two mouse ears on it. On the side it said "Let us Exterminate Your Pests." I think maybe they should first exterminate the car. We really don't need cars driving down the roads that look like Mickey Mouse. Yes, those Sign Makers have become very creative.

So many signs everywhere. Some tell me how far I have to go, others tell me how fast I can go. Some tell me where to shop or where to go on vacation. In retrospect, I really should have become a Sign Maker.