First, we would like to explain that raydance's favourite character is Mi-chan and that plhu is partial towards Kaoru (Koganei, Nagisa and Kamiya) and Kurei.
7.30 pm on some particular day.
raydance makes a telephone call...
plhu looks up from A-Maths homework.
Stage 1: Deciding the motivation of the various characters
raydance: Pei Lin! I know how to make Bison on the same team as Chun Li and Guile!
plhu: (cautiously)How?
raydance: Bison could have been under Mori's control all along, and now he's free of it and wants to go to the Urabatou for revenge. And it was actually Mori who killed Chun Li's father and framed Bison for it. So that's also why Chun Li wants to go along.
plhu: so convoluted. But Bison himself admitted that he killed Chun Li's father. "yeah, yeah, I killed my own father too, but you don't hear me complaining about it." (I like that line).
raydance: oh. (somewhere in Antarctica a misguided hot-air balloon deflates)
plhu: how about Bison's going there to take over Mori Koran, the madougu and Kouran's DNA facilities?
raydance: Power struggle. Too complicated.
plhu: Then how are we supposed to get them on the same team!?
raydance: Kick Bison out and put Cammy in. That way Bison will still be in the picture.
plhu: then how about Bison having some big deal with Mori and standing in the cocktail party room all the time?
raydance: okay. Then Cammy can go along and enter the competition and be at Bison's side at the same time.
plhu: Same for Vega.
raydance: Is Vega gay?
Pause of 3 seconds.
plhu: well...he did try to rape Chun Li before, so he shouldn't be gay....right?
Another pause of 3 seconds.
raydance: Oh. So des ne.
plhu: Maybe Vega's there for Chun Li too.
raydance: YAY! That's 3 down!
(plhu and raydance take out trumpets and dance around for a while.)
plhu: Then why is Chun Li there?
raydance: To hunt down Bison.
plhu: Then why is Guile there?
raydance: To get Cammy back.
plhu: Then why is Ryu there?
raydance: Ryu, being the strict and honourable fighter that he is, will go there for the challenge of the fight.
plhu: He's a square. I prefer Ken.
raydance: Oh yeah? I bet Ken's skills have gone down the drain because he's spending his time with girls. haha.
plhu: ... Ryu's still a square. and Ken's got a cool car--
raydance: --So let's recap: Bison is there to make money-
plhu:-and Cammy is there because Bison is there-
raydance: -and Chun Li is there because Bison is there-
plhu: -and Vega is there because Chun Li and Bison are there-
raydance: -and Guile is there because Cammy is there-
plhu:-and Ryu is there because he just wants to fight.
raydance: Individuals without free will. How sad. Let's add Sakura in somehow. As one of those innocent bystanders like Yanagi and Ganko.
plhu: Okay. Then she can go buy bread with Yanagi. Or debate with Yanagi on the merits of Hello Kitty. And fall in love with Mikagami.
raydance: Can she do that? I thought she had something for Ryu.
plhu: She's 16 (like you)...a little crush wouldn't hurt.
raydance: FUN! (relishing the thought of Mi-chan squirming his way through yet more admirers) And the referees can fall in love with Vega.
plhu: You write that.
raydance: *sweatdrop*
Stage 2: Deciding the character playoffs.
raydance: Easy ones first. Domon vs Guile.
plhu: Right. and make Guile lose. I hate Guile.
raydance: yah. I HATE Guile too. Everyone hates Guiles. (In background, a nation of Guile haters wave their hands and yell in unison.)What's with the hair?
plhu: How come other people (like Chou off RK...) can carry off brush-head 'dos so well and he can't.
raydance: That's settled. Now...Fuuko fights...
plhu: How 'bout Vega?
raydance: Then it'll be another Fujimaru thing. And that's not...ahem...very pleasant to describe. (we're only 16 so far)
plhu: ...
raydance: Mi-chan versus...versus...
plhu: Make Mikagami lose. It'll be very unusual. (enough with the hate mail already.)
raydance: (as if plhu had just suggested blowing up the sun) NANI!! NO! CANNOT! Mi-chan is INVINCIBLE!
plhu: C'mon...must be creative and unusual. (like some world power's death penalty system) and Mikagami can lose honourably. (unlike the local soccer team)
raydance: No. (puffs of smoke come through the receiver at plhu's end) Otherwise I won't teach you html coding. Or help you buy that Donut CD from Trigun.
plhu: Fine. Broken Water Mirror wins. (and I'm not even insisting that Koganei win)
raydance: (very pleased at having won this minor victory) Right. So who does Mi-chan fight?
plhu: Vega?
raydance: Two supreme egoists battling each other. This is too funny.
plhu: Sometimes Vega says, "Your defeat has made me more beautiful."
raydance: So Hotohori.
plhu: We must do a fic someday centering on Mikagami, Vega and Hotohori. (10 seconds after opening the book, Mikagami finds himself in a court with a long-haired emperor...)
raydance: You write that, okay? Back to the topic. I say Mi-chan versus Chun Li.
plhu: I'm fine with that.
raydance: And Rekka has to fight Ryu 'cos they're the most powerful people.
plhu: Which leaves...Cammy, Vega, Kaoru and Fuuko.
raydance: Cammy can call out Bison anytime she wants.
plhu: Imagine Bison teleported from the cocktail party to the battlestage and going "What the-"
raydance: ...Right...Cammy vs Fuuko, Vega vs Kaoru.
plhu: how come the people Kaoru ends up with are either psycho or in love with themselves? (remember Haaaazy Mooooooooonn...)
raydance: la-la-la...Okay, so who goes first?
plhu: Domon vs Guile. Get the bad things over first. Then according to prowess of Team Hokage, Vega vs Kaoru, then Cammy vs Fuuko, then Chun Li vs Mikagami, then Ryu vs Recca.
raydance: Let's see who wins. Domon wins. Mi-chan wins. (was there ever a doubt?) and Recca has to win.
plhu: (sweatdropping)...So, to create an interesting fight filled with suspense, Kaoru and Fuuko must lose.
(Gasps of horror as realization sinks in.)
plhu: Darn. I want Kaoru to win.
raydance: Me too. (super-reluctantly) Make Guile win then.
plhu: hmpf. (gnashes teeth) Then we'll get back at Guile for winning during the scenes outside the battlestage.
raydance: Yay. Done at last.
plhu: Tell me again why we even included Guile in the first place.
raydance: So that we have someone to make fun of. Q.E.D.