this is dedicated to all in love.

well, what can i say about this fic? i could explain all the in-jokes, then talk about my feelings for this fic.

in-jokes

1. the '40-ton elephant' is an affectionate name my friends and i in school call plhu. *laughs* why? it's a long story... but to match up with the animal imagery, the next time you see a squid in plhu's story, it's a dig at me. in case you didn't know, the 40-ton elephant also appears in 'storm'.
   
   
2. 'bright lit student' was a pun batted around in my class for a while, partially because we're self-deprecating, and we all take literature.
   
   
3. 'properties of pig iron' was something we did in chemistry and i couldn't get the term out of my mind
   
   
4. Psychedelic Stilettos... *laughs* something entirely out of my own fancy, it doesn't exist...i wish it did though! the idea came about because plhu commented that kurei looked like somebody out of malize mizer and she was mumbling about how koganei hardly appears.
   
   
5. 'pink hair' is because our (plhu and i) favourite rocker hide owns (owned, if you will) pink hair. *laughs* and mikagami's reaction is somewhat similar to our friends'.
   
   
6. 'polka-dotted sequinned coats' are a dig at the horrendous clothes that some visual rock bands wear. *shudder*. but there was this time when we were looking for costume rental shops that would rent out tuxes, and we called up this place who said "yes, we do. and they're shiny as well!" of course we were like... "shiny? er... what colour?" and they said "yes, shiny. with sequins. colour, whatever colour we can also provide; blue, pink, polka-dotted..."
   
   
7. i was just looking for the most ridiculous carol when i said 'rudolph'. actually, it's MY favourite carol.
   
   
8. 'how did i fall in love with you' is a backstreet boys song. fine, slam me if you will, but honestly, it's a beautiful song. and i love it, right up there with 'purest of pain' by 'son by four'
   
   
9. 'i-love-you-you-love-me-let's-go-roll-in-a-haystack' was a phrase used by one of my friends. and i really liked it. doesn't it describe loads of love songs on the radio now?
   
   
10. seki and chika are both names of seiyuu. i sorta borrowed the names... but not the surnames, so it's okay. just as trivia, tomokazu seki (sp?) is the voice actor of hidaka ken, chichiri, kouji as well as kamui. sakamoto chika does nuriko. other favourite seiyuu of mine include midorikawa hikaru (schuldich, mikagami, heero) and koyasu takehito (hotohori, fujimiya ran)

Don't look for love in all the wrong places! He betrayed you, betrayed your trust! ... Give your love to someone who deserves it.

feelings

somehow, i liked this fic even less than 'masquerade', if it was possible. although plhu thinks it's good.

why do i not like it? *shrugs* it's more feeling than anything. my favourite so far still has to be 'beauty in red', i liked the style i did on it, helps that kurei is the main character in it. for 'change' it didn't flow as nicely as i would have liked, some of it is quite... contrived. the ending isn't that hot either.

or perhaps it hits too close to home. whatever mikagami says at the end, is (as i said earlier) what i feel about love, and the depth of love one can or should feel. am i an idealist? call it my idea of utopia.

recently, i think i've been putting a lot of myself into fics, which may or may not be good. 'regrets' was something that i wrote more on impulse than anything else, but take a look at the notes for that fic to read more about it, if you even want to at all.

love for me is something really sacred, i think. i've been kicking myself recently whenever by slip of tongue due to habit when i say things like 'oh, you did this for me, i love you', or 'oh, i love this song'. now, i only say i 'love' things when i'm sure that it won't fade. so, yes. same goes for best friends. but that's a different subject which you won't want me to go into.

right. so that's the end of the notes for 'change'. hope you liked it, and please, if you did or didn't, drop me a line. i'd be pleased to listen to criticisms, but please, make it constructive. and if you liked it, i'd prefer it if you said something like 'i like your style' rather than 'it's great' and leaving it at that. thank you so very much in advance.

the author remains on the search for her lifebond and the perfect coffee blend

twenty-second december
ten forty in the morning

once you find love, or at least some semblance of it, you'd never want to let go. You don't want to believe that your lover would be capable of anything bad, you'd want to protect him, to cherish him, to hold him forever and ever.