What is Real? What we don't have to apologize for. What we can be sure of.
I have been meaning to write about all this. Recently, I had a dust up on the Onelist. Someone did not like the way I was pressing him to profess his belief in Jesus. He said I was exhibiting Cobu tactics. You know, the way we used to grill each other about our faith in or love for Jesus? He may have been right. I don't see myself as coming from the COBU spirit. I was asking him what he believed so that I could be on guard about the things he is writing on the page. I  won't get into what he believes. I want to address his defensiveness.

Seems like when anyone is passionate about their own beliefs or uncertain about someone else's, they immediately get tagged, "playing the Heavy"  "Doing a Stew"  blah blah blah.  This is troubling. One of the greatest evils Stewart has foisted on us x members and current members is convincing us that the medicine is poison. He trained us and poisoned us so well that true christians who get out of COBU are afraid or disgusted to read their bibles. He made sure that we walked away fearing authority or not trusting it. He made other christians look lukewarm or weakly committed to Jesus. Think about the time when you got out. You remember trying to be in fellowship with other christians. You remember trying to read your bible without hearing Traill's condemning voice. It took years to detox from the poison, and to tell you the truth, some of the Traill poison is still in the system.

When Skip O'Neil died last year, the reaction of some was to return to COBU. After years of being away, Skip's death scared them into returning. Traill used death and uses death to keep a hold on members. I guess current members can actually say now that Death is their shepherd. Now we hear the latest line from current cobu, "If God doesn't throw everyone who left cobu into Hell, He owes me an  big apology." It feels right to those inside to say this. They have replaced the Holy Spirit with the arrogant spirit of Traill.  We used to read the scripture "We are disciples of Moses, you are his disciple," and scoff at the attitude and blindness of the Pharisees. Behold the new Pharisee! The current members are blind and they follow someone who's light is going out. He threatens death to those outside and implies death to those inside. Those who study cults say that COBU is ranked among the worst to belong to.

So we got out. We still have the reactions and the training of the Delta Force ala Traill. I return to my point. Stew made the bible, other christians and even the voice of the Holy Spirit an offense to us. After we get over the shock of being away from Trailland, we gain strength. We still don't know how to act as Christians. Even when we are truly growing we are haunted by the nasty grimy suspicious voice that says, "you're playing church."

On the onelist we talk about the Bible and about our beliefs. When some actually test all things, they get called Nazis. I don't blame the accusers or the accused. We so don't want to be like the unloving Traill, and we so don't want to be pulled into another false teacher and false doctrine, so we over react on both sides. Current members don't have our problems. They don't have their own minds to serve God fully, they don't have their own strength to serve God fully. We actually have our minds back. We do test all things. They test nothing. We argue, do they? Of course not. They are as united as dead people. They are as peaceful as dead people. Try to talk to them without hearing a Stewart Script. Jesus died for them personally. Died for the individual in that husk that used to be animated with love for God. Try to talk to them and just love them. They will not let you wash their feet.

They are not sure they are going to Heaven , thanks to Traill, but they are sure we are going to Hell, thanks to Traill.

I am miles away from most of the x members. I miss seeing them. I am understood by them. That's comforting. The current members have this comfort. They have fermented into such a terrible existence that not only will the world not buy them, True christians are moved to pray for their deliverance. What's heart breaking  is that they do not see where they are going. I am reminded of one of the sisters who was in Jim Jones' inner circle. Her Dad and brother flew down to Jonestown to get her out. They could not find her person inside her body. She talked past them. She refused to listen to them. She was so in the grip of what Jones said about her family that she did not go with them. She drank cyanide 2 hours later and died with the other 900. Imagine the anguish her father must have felt, to be face to face with his own daughter and yet miles from her heart. He could not change her belief. She died for a lie. She died for a liar. Will current members finally die for Stewart Traill? They will remain alive as long as he needs them alive. Can anyone say that Stewart ever loved anyone? No you can't. Not the love defined in the bible. Stewart re-defined love so that his twisted version would fit the description. He redefined all the fruits of the Spirit so that he could pretend to all of us that he was and is faithful. Read you bible again and tell me with a straight face that Stew is living by the Spirit of God.  Tell me that his repentance in 89 was real. Tell me that he came to the light with the brothers fellowship. That he made things right with the Princeton sisters. Tell me that he is accountable. Tell me that the brothers fellowship is fearless and tests all things. Tell me that the brothers are faithful and are loving their sisters in Christ by marriage. Tell me that children are welcome in COBU. Tell me that there are children in cobu. Tell me that the Brother not Stewart is the head of his own household. Tell me that Stewart isn't sexual misusing the younger sisters. Tell me! Put me to shame. Show me the evidence. God have mercy on you if you are a coward and will not stand up in His Spirit and test your fellowship and your pastor. God have mercy on you and not requite you for the sisters Stewart has offended. God have mercy on you and not requite you for your dead religion. You threaten us with death? God have mercy on you and not hold you guilty for these careless words.

As for these out here who want to talk away the authority of the Bible. I will not participate. I believe the devil is now , through Academia and through intellectualism is chipping away at the authority of the word. I am will suffer with the foolish, weak, and poor and just believe that it is the Word of God. I refuse to look at "New Evidence." The result is that the bible was written by imperfect men with imperfect and flawed thinking. That this word was from their scholarship, their minds , their imaginations, their limitations. I refuse this new evidence. There are few here that should receive this saying. Most hold to the Word of God.

Please, let us peel off the skull and cross bones label that Traill affixed many years ago. Let The Holy Spirit heal us all from the real poison and give us the real medicine.

I challenge Cobu to review all these documents on the site and put me on trial. If they will not, then stop lying and living a lie and living for a liar.

Mike Montoya