My name is Jim Enright. I hope this is Mike Montoya's email. I don't know if
you remember me or not, but I hope you do. I have been speaking with 12 or so
ex members like myself over the last year or so. I am just writing to connect
to a few more. I am married now with a 2 year old and another due in October.
I  don't really remember when I got out because I "got out " so many times. I
do know that the last time I ever saw or heard from anyone in COBU was after
years of drunkenness, I was at a halfway house for Alcoholics some 6 years
ago. One day, the camera sisters blew into town, looked me up, and found me
at this rehab place. They told Stewart where I was and they returned with a
message from him saying, and I quote, " come home Jim, this recovery business
is beneath you"
    Well, for the first time in many years I laughed out loud in the face of
COBU. Imagine, recovery being not good enough, while they remain in large part
the reason for my need for recovery! Kevin Browne waited under the blankets
in the van outside and popped out when I walked the sisters to the van.
Anyway, that was 6 years ago and have never heard from them since. But what I
do know is, since leaving the Wackos, I graduated with an Engineering degree,
got married, and had a child. When I think of the greasy haired brother
sleeping in the van and the smell of those camera sisters after a long road
trip, I shake my head with gratitude that I am not there. Not because of what
things I now have, but because of the person I discovered I always was. It
was worth it, it only took 20 years or so to find.
    I keep hearing about a Onelist group. I sure would be interested to find
out more about that if you know who I am. Please e-mail me if you get a
chance.
                                            God Bless You, Talk soon
                                                                                         -Jim
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Got your reply from the email. I do remember that back of the bus Bible
Study. I still have my Grain, Wine and Oil Bible from that. That was in the
"good old days" when each brother still possessed the ability to read and
make connections for himself instead of waiting in agonizing silence to be
the one to say the right thing at the right time. Having gotten out rather
late in the game, I was witness to some of the most pitiable displays of
verbal cruelty and contradiction. I lived with Stew for a year alone. Me,
Stew and the golden girls at the church property. I thought I was getting
alot of personal help and thought I was growing at a time when every other
brother in the church was downtrodden. I was set up as an example, and used
to bait the other brothers. The sisters at the time were happy to be around
me in sharp contrast to the "evil in the fellowship of brothers." I finished
the detailing of Stew's office, Gail's bathroom, the sun deck,etc. and
rewired all his antennas for the office. One day, I walked in and saw a
Hustler Magazine on the desk. I was shocked, but since Larry Flint had
written an editorial on Sex and Religion, I pushed the thought aside,
justifying that perhaps Stewart was spiritual enough not to be tempted by the
rest of the magazine. Not that the events were connected, but a week later,
Stewart and Gayle together took me for a walk around the property as he was
inclined to do at sunset. It was then he asked me "In what is your Confidence
In Christ?" A vague enough question, I struggled with the myriad of possible
correct answers. I neglected Thankfulness. Because he had to tell me, it
proved that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks - I had no
thankfulness in my heart. He directly told me "You know what this all means?"
he said waving his hand as he does, "You are going to Hell when you die, you
know that, right?" The reason being, I was ungrateful, because I had not
received salvation. Had I received it , thankfulness would have been an
automatic response. I was sent to NY the next day. A week later, in the
stinky basement of Woodruff Avenue, amid piles of mouldy clothing, Stewart
came for a meeting. Guess what the topic was? Let's talk about Jim Enright.
All the sisters were asked about my attitude and faithfulness and compared it
to the other brothers who were forlorn and weary. To them, I stood out. Then
came the whammy. Stew was asking why I was any different, what made it so,
and after several hours, the answer was because I was not in NY. I was
"better" because I was with him in Phila for a year. So the experiment was
that I was not any more faithful, in fact he said I was one of the weakest -
but removed from the evil fellowship of brothers, I grew. So what was the
answer? Have more brothers escape this evil? No, I was given a space in an
overcrowded room in the basement with the lice infested homeless newcomers,
where he never inquired about me again, his point being proven. Despite this,
I stayed for years more. Which proves I really was pretty weak after all.
Anyway, it is something of a blessing to recount these things as it washes me
somehow. Yes, you can put these or any other emails on the Onelist, as I am
eager to read about what is up with all the others. I am very thankful today
to be where I am.
 

                                                                        -Jim