I'm back, quite absorbed in what happened nearly 20 years ago, so I'm
The young woman who "deprogrammed" me is named Claire, no last name
but I know she got married anyway. Claire from Baltimore.
I've read more of your website, and I find it so familiar. It has brought
back so many images and feelings. For me, the deprogramming: sincere,
headstrong, passionate people hammering away at me, challenging beliefs
wasn't even sure I understood, yet all the while knowing I had discovered
something within me that was beyond understanding, beyond logic, beyond
It was a gift that could never be de-programmed, a gift that is bigger
me, bigger than how I choose to believe. A gift that, by the way, had
to do with Stewart Traill or The Church of Bible Understanding. I remember
looking around at all these other seekers, with all these different
beliefs, yet again knowing they each shared a similar inner awakening.
think true love is so hard to recognize, and there are so many ways
I'm not sure the deprogramming was a complete success: if the goal
to keep me from returning to COBU then yes, but I suspect there was
it. It may be simply that an all encompassing form of devotion makes
uncomfortable. I suspect the deprogramming was addressing this as well.
message seems to have been, "Believe in God however you like, but keep
perspective, and for God's sake, don't be weird."
Let me quickly add that I am indeed grateful for that experience, and
be even moreso had I been exposed to the abuses that seem so prevalent
COBU. I'm just pondering the whole picture, with the advantages that
passage of time can offer.
Mike, I'm thrilled to be returning to this contemplation, inspired
site. I realize that for many years I would review, somewhat superficially
see now, and then put it back on the shelf. This powerful experience,
full of some of the most important questions I have ever asked and
ask, such as "Who am I? Where am I going? How may I serve God? How
may I pour
love into this world?" were all contained in that pivotal experience.
remember praying, over and over, "Dear God, is this a test of my faith,
you trying to tell me something?" That question has certainly echoed
many of my ensuing experiences.
I've read through your testimony and found it quite fascinating. Thank
hope your thanksgiving was happy, and best wishes to you and your family
you wrap up this semester.
Oh, I'm skittish about handing over my last name to the Internet, so
happy to just leave it as Elizabeth. Thanks again.