terr To: All
          Subj:  My Notes of Meeting  of 2/1/87 at  Woodruff with Stewart
                 (Combined, edited notes of past 3 meetings will be out soon)

          What kind of an outfit should we be? A glitzy, fluffy church with TV,, not touching any issues? 1/2 way you'd like to be deceitful and avoid things -- verse 'healing the wound of my  people lightly' - acting like there is no problem.  Look you
wretches - you received Jesus as your Savior at IS, you found out He was stronger than you,, now that you're 30 you don't like it why.  The Gospel of John ends with 'it's none of your business follow me'.  Wouldn't you like a little deceit?  I
thought of having a Bible study an your death coming soon -- a lovely subject.  Newspapers euphemistically say "after a long illness"... Why do I mention that?  Are we discussing our problems sincerely at our meetings or lightly passing it over.
Tony Raab is too stupid to be deceitful -- compared to Dr. Grix let's face it.  Yet I an the craftiest of you all.  Our death --
 in that you received Jesus 12 years ago, then there's the 2nd step - every Christian Church throughout   history that began always spoke of the 2nd step.  There Is the scripture 'fall into the earth', follow Him as Lord.  It isn't only receiving Him.  You   have increased your wretching after 12 years, partly because you were more able to.  Trying to find away around Jn 12:24.  Your coming death.  Those who have committed themselves to being sincere toward the Lord Jesus can have peace.  They only.  All others have increasing terror and try to hide it under all other things.  Why would someone who received Jesus as Savior have terror? if not receiving Jesus as Lord.  What does "continue in my word" mean in respect to our problem of sincerity towards Him as Lord? in the Gospel of John you see the purposeful, increasing rejection of His authority by His people (those who received the seed) and then the ultimate, utter rejection of Him. He asks of His sheep to follow Him.  As you become Pharisees (able to do dirty things) - do you do them just to do them?  What is this purposeful calculation to avoid the shepherd?  That's not sheep! Why aren't there 3,000 here?  Continue in His word -
continue sincere towards Him, you hear His voice through His Word.  What is this plan to escape His will?  Sincerity is NOT taking their talents and running against Him with a thick bossed shield.  What do they keep it up?  Pride has alot to do with it.  Fantasy of "I have authority". who gives you your next breath?    You have authority over increasing terror.  We don't ever discuss this - why is it such a secret.  Why does it say "Agree with God and be at peace" and "Let them make peace with me".  Sincerity - what it is and what it is not.  Even those who have promised have to strive to overcome pride, deceit, acting as though I am Lord. Confessing the truth that I need Jesus, fully there for Jesus. You got saved 12 years ago -- you don't like the place you are in now because of not having grown! Resisting His will.. Sincere does not equal perfect.  You are all close to that game of "if I were sincere I would be perfect."

        What is the crucial difference between sincere insincere, possible and impossible. This  outfit is different. This outfit
has learned to commit suicide in many different   ways.  Why haven't more brothers and sisters committed themselves -- WE GOTTA STEP ON IT.  Sincerity is the issue... "He gave her time to repent".  It is more wearisome to fight Jesus as Lord! You are getting older, terror is increasing.  Where do you cross the line?  Where is the dividing line?  After all aren't you sheep? Haven't I given you helpful hints in my spiel tonight?  The spirit in willing but the flesh is weak.  The line is crossed by the words PLAN and CONSCIOUSLY.  WHEN YOU ARE CONSCIOUSLY PLANNING TO AVOID JESUS AND BE IN FANTASY CONTROL.  Christians do alot of things in ignorance but sheep go by instinct but they don't premeditate.  Who is into premeditated murder?  That's lot degree murder, the death penalty.  Sheep don't premeditate around stuff.  Sure looking to Him as Lord is right but the final dividing line for a Christian who knows something about Jesus is whether you are or are not premeditating rebellion.  You may be a very stubborn sheep (it's obvious) consciously but at least it's on the sheep side.  As long as premeditated rebellion is in there not sincere - taking His talents and using then for something other than His plan is the final dividing line.  The word surrender doesn't mean serve -- it means ceasing hostilities - is it too much for -Jesus to ask?

         What is the difference between insincere and sincere for a Christian?  'You did not say it was hopeless' -- there is a
knowing, purposeful creation of an idol - you sought out your own many devices.  Sheep don't have that many brains.  'we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways... I 'By the open statement of the truth' that is not serving the truth (yet) but
such a person is led to serving the truth.  You been playing games or dealing with sincerity for a month now.  What is appropriate for you?  Sincerity would be anything better than not premeditating rebellion.  Why aren't there a great many more promising to be sincere towards Jesus and acting accordingly? You have been demonstrating stubbornness -- now is it premeditated murder?  What should the principles be on the part of the sincere fellowship toward everyone else: I'm no better than you,  sincerity doesn't mean perfect, being urgent for all the brothers and sisters to be included in their purpose -- yet careful not to be begging.  Why?  Because in a glitzy church you get emotionalized into a supposed commitment which is alot of missing issues.  Brothers and sisters who have held out on doing this what is increasing important for them is that they repent and turn and that it is CLEARLY that!  You ought to be aware of their increasing terror and fear.  It can't be joining a club and begging them to say something.  Can't lower the standards.  I have to be both inviting and requiring towards these holdouts -- what we've been doing has not been working.  Make up a list of thousands of these holdouts - and then go over them with those at hand and find WHO IS THE BEST PUSH/PULL team.  Come up with an inviter and insister.  Pick the best idiot for each one.

 The insister can say  lines such  as "What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral  since you are preparing for your funeral"  and "pardon me while  I measure you for your coffin", and "since you know everything   how long do you figure you have left?" All kinds of insisting   -- isn't it true you need the Lord Jesus or is it true you don't?  Why are you so refusing?  Get INTO it with then (with a violin in the background).  How do you get a right team the real way?  Jesus pressure -- you want all the brothers and sisters to be sincere right?  Got to get in there for them.  The principles of the inviting one, besides inviting should be someone this person likes already, who will be understanding (who doesn't give too much Jesus pressure because that's probably why they are liked anyway).  Before this gets any worse let's get a move on! You would do well to inquire with them, "do you consider you need Jesus?"   "do you need to have guilt and pangs of conscience and terror  at the same time as your    'long illness'?' The more they laugh at   their holding out the more they hate it -- keep that in mind.   EVEN THESE CAN BE GRAFTED BACK IN IF THEY DO NOT PERSIST IN THEIR UNBELIEF! The insister scales the city of the mighty and causes them to admit the truth that they need Jesus! How long until their children grow up to be on the team to help them? one is inviting and the nature of the other is warning.

          Isn't God continuing to warn you and what are you doing about these warnings?  How long have you calculated that Jesus is gonna put up with you before He cuts you off?  What is that point that you have figured out?  How long do you think He's gonna put up with you making a fool out of Him before He destroys you which is what you want.  After all Jesus has done for you you really want to enter eternity without Jesus?  These ones are feeding impossible standards making it higher and higher, more impossible. Remember sincerity isn't who can shout the loudest.  How can you tell the difference between popularity and sincerity?  Are you in circles all your life?  Maybe we should have a Bible study on  'What happens at death'.  Every philosophy and religion deals with death - it is the greatest issue.  Your sincerity towards Jesus is the real thing - it is for today - should deal with death.  Sincerity also means not premeditating games about death. If for this life only we have been sincere we are most to be  pitied -- looking to the Resurrection What is this sitting around stuff?  Why aren't we in Czechoslovakia & Yugoslavia?  Are your meetings gonna be snappy?  Insisters have to be out front can't be hiding.  You start drifting to the corner darkness first, then out to sea.

          Do you need sincerity towards Jesus -- confess or deny -- make up your minds.  As you are over 30, what means more to you, fun fantasy or peace?  How many of you hear 'I'm a sincere brother/ sister and I'm glad of it?" "Let your light so shine".  What would their inclusion mean than life from the dead! Tell all the brothers and sisters to come and surrender or else they'll get a team! Let's pray that for good weather for Friday's Art Show at Church & Flatbush.  And Lord willing see you for another meeting here next Sunday at 8:00 p.m.