DIPLOMAT MEETING                                              NOVEMBER 23,  1978

      What is the basis of our salvation? We need  to understand that! This question is centered in the word basis. The basis of salvation doesn't center in the word sin. You have become lazy toward something that should be of primary interest your concern is being invested in other things.  There was no sense of driving on the part of anyone about talking about the
 basis of salvation.  No sense of carrying something to someone else emptying from vessel to vessel.  The only way someone could be this uncertain is spending the last two or three years not that concerned with salvation.  Where a man's heart is so is his treasure also. You ought to pray for a zeal understanding salvation bad you have too.

      Joy finished the outline to the witnessing handbook.  Two lamb lessons are done.  All you sheep have to take the lamb course one by one.  Already (at Phila House) developing who are the better students and who aren't. First night spent an the basis of salvation. Motto of lamb house: The child must increase and the lamb must decrease. If you don't pay attention, you won't pass the course. If you trust in your I.Q. you will  have had it.

      Lamb basis of salvation is in six words, one of which is forgiveness. Although the language doesn't matter, the answer has to center in Jesus overcoming our problems.  You say that basis is love no, his motivation is love.  It's Jesus overcoming our problems.  Six words: (1) sin, (2) guilt, (3) conviction, (4) repentance, (5) forgiveness, (6) salvation.  The
 idea is to reach salvation.  It's absolutely necessary to understand forgiveness.

      In Philadelphia, Wanda stole a cookie from Lorraine.   Wanda said I stole a cookie, I'm sorry.  Lorraine didn't think she was sincere.  In fact, I don't blame here, Wanda was half laughing when she said it.  Should Lorraine forgive Wanda anyway?  Someone said that sincerity isn't the issue. That has to be the issue.- If sincerity wasn't in question, then there wouldn't be a question whether to forgive her or not. The point is that you begin to understand your ideas concerning forgiveness and see them in all their glory and later compare them with scripture as God's will, as revealed in scripture.  God is forgiving and Lorraine might forgive.  God is a person and acts like a person toward a person.  From the principals of human behavior, we can work backward and learn about how God deals with us.  Check with the Bible.

      BROAD HINT: Forgiveness must be canceling a debt. Not overlooking,  not forgetting and reentering into fellowship. At 137 I would often break up the fallow ground and then planted, it would be more likely to take root.  It's pretty fallow ground, you can't make up your mind If you should forgive her or not.  This is 'human, there's scripture, but must settle it from wherever we are. Stewart said, "I wouldn't forgive her". This was an imitation repentance that won't stand on judgment day.  When God says forgiveness, he means forgiveness, not some mushy emotion.  Jesus nailed our sins an the cross.  Your fellowship is based in games.  You don't mind lying to each other, you have your imitation fellowship here.  I mind, so does Jesus.  I am willing to forgive her, I am not going to.  I will overlook it, I won't condemn her, I will be kind, but I won't forgive her.  Forgiveness is something very valuable in the case of Jesus, considering what it cost.  Do you think you can play with it.  You said God isn't concerned with your sincerity.  You can say two or three Hail Marys, it's okay if you mocked Jesus.

      You heard she was laughing, that's her asking for forgiveness.  You are showing the way you are.  With lambs it's understandable, but you're in trouble.  It's based on insincerity, and you don't mind.  You think Jesus is that way.  Boy, do you have a surprise.  You think that he's going to become a liar.  Repentance doesn't mean that you are laughing at your
sin.  Lambs just came from the world.  It's understandable, they must come to the truth. Now, years later for you, Jesus is games.

      The apostles talked about reaching repentance.  By putting it in these six words, there's the element of Pilgrim's Progress--the element of time and progress.  You heard surely God does not hear an empty cry.  You say the Lord will not do good, nor will he do evil. You are not your own, you were bought with a price.  Refuse to deal in underhanded worldly ways.

Each one of those six words (sin,  guilt,  conviction,  repentance, forgiveness, salvation) have a bunch of words that goes along with it. Your view of Jesus and how you ought to be toward him and each other and why. We are in danger of losing our house. (in Phila.) because the little children are wrecking the place and the brothers let them.  They say that they act like girls.

       Deut. 29.  You are all weak.  You don't trust each other because you are insincere.  You don't mind insincerity. When It's toward Jesus, you have had it. You are worse off than if you never heard. The word forgiveness how can you mess it up like that.  Willingness to forgive and forgiving.  When it says repent, it means really repent, not half repent.  You will accept imitation.  You have this fellowship to accept imitation, none of you resist it.  You know honesty and you know the rules of your fellowship.  Forgiveness is based a mushiness with Jesus.  You take advantage of his kindness and think he doesn't care what I do.  Therefore older brothers get the way they are.  Sin is deadly serious and you take it lightly.  The problem isn't words (when we were saying whether Lorraine should forgive Wanda), you can write off some of it saying it's fuzzy, but what is underneath it.  You heard that she was laughing.  You are suppose to be christians.  You came from your sheep place, you didn't take your stand on what you would do. Surely God does not regard an empty cry. Definition of fellowship round and round and chit chatting.  Round and round till it's time to go to bed.  In the evening say if it were morning and in the morning say if it were evening. The Devil fools you into treating Jesus' forgiveness like dirt.  When you forgive someone, you cancel the debt and enter into fellowship. You actually call overlooking forgiving. They are very different.  You keep on taking advantage and suddenly you will have a broken neck.-

       What's the point of it all?  I will overlook your cheating if you overlook mine.  You went right by the good verses. (The good references to why not to forgive her.) You don't take a stand.  Three of the six words tend downward sin, guilt, conviction; the other three tend upward repentance, forgiveness, salvation.  You qualify for the first two.  Sin produces
guilt and up to that point there's no problem.  Guilt is the result of sin it's not a feeling. Guilt is the human suffering for sin which you suffer now. Sin wound; guilt scar. You have sin, you have guilt.  All have sinned, all have guilt. 99% of your problem is that you leave your guilt at guilt. Guilt goes round and round and get no where. It's worldly grief and is of no avail.  You learn to live with sickness and guilt.  You overlook leave me alone and I will leave you alone. Conviction is where the separation  is. All have sinned, all have guilt.  You may have a seared conscience because you've lived with it for so long.  Now separation starts at conviction.  Get convicted for your sin.  What is conviction?  In your fuzzy background, you think of the Holy Spirit, that it's central to your life.  Rededication in remorse over sin is very rarely seen.  What I see is years of I want to fellowship with you Stewart.  Conviction many are called and few are chosen.  Conviction is the many.  Many are the convicted.  A very few out of the population are drawn toward repentance through conviction of the Holy Spirit.  Guilt is wallowing in the mire, it's sickening.  You chose to wallow instead of praying for genuine conviction.  Without conviction there is no repentance.  You have imitation prayer because you try to go from guilt to repentance.  There's no repentance without conviction.  You qualify after the second step.  There is a way for guilt to be removed.  Because guilt corresponds to meaning, purpose to sin. (18 Words) Guilt your present view of sin is that you have guilt.  You have a feeling you call it a feeling.  But there is a way to get rid of it.  'Your problem is sin and guilt.
Now you can begin to understand the basis of salvation.  He saved us from sin and guilt.  They are different as meaning and purpose are different.  He saved us by sending the Holy Spirit to convict those who are called.  Some who are cut to the heart by conviction their reaction is to murder as in the case of Stephen.  No means are all those who are convicted get saved.  Many are called to conviction, few reach repentance.  Then there are those who reach repentance, some of them don't reach forgiveness (e.g.) Esau, Judas & those who blaspheme the Holy Spirit.  Not all of who reach repentance reach forgiveness.  You don't understand that when the Bible means repentance, it means repentance.  Those who make it to repentance.  Those who when Jesus comes are forgiven now.

       Heb. 9:22.  As long as you have guilt on you, you have had it.  You are not free, you are in prison.  You don't want to come out.. Your spirit wants to be free.  John 3 tract, The Problem  how sin fits into all this is probably beyond you so we will leave that to later." Later has come, you must understand sin to understand salvation.

 The old way. If you have guilt, it a  because you  have  sinned. Adam sinned. (He hid.) The word hide has alot to do with guilt. Guilty people want  to be alone. You are a bunch of guilty individuals living together. Fellowship is pleasant. There is no guilt in fellowship in the light

      Do you understand  the progress of the six words?   John  the Baptist  spoke gospel of repentance. What did he say to the game players? "Who told you to repent." Not everyone is qualified to repent.  Must be convicted.  That's where everyone plays the games.  Somehow among other things John the Baptist is right teaching.  I have this guilt and I am sure not going to go to Jesus. Conviction stands between you and repentance.  You better find out about it.  If you are holding
 the word in a good and honest heart, your sight for your need for Jesus should grow deeper.

      Lambs received Jesus, like a seed, it becomes a plant right, but in one sense it doesn't until later, it must germinate, but its on its way to becoming a plant.  Still has old nature hanging on. You go on needing conviction or you treat sin lightly and can't repent and end up with funny ideas of forgiveness.  There's no way of forgiving guilt, blood is required.  Forgiveness
has alot to do with blood.  Who can say I have made myself pure.  It's not by exertion of man, but by God's mercy.  God through Jesus overcomes our problems.  Jesus now sends the Holy Spirit to draw those who ought to be saved through salvation.  Through this process, some who are in guilt he convicts and they repent and normally he forgives them.  Natural flow from sin to forgiveness.  Old Testament and New Testament, there's something special in New Testament--

      God is kind.  If you ask him to overlook wrong you have done, he will.  I said overlook it.  If you go to him and say I don't want to be forgiven, I can't enter into fellowship with you, can you overlook this wrong.  He's kind and he will overlook your offenses.  The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.  As long as you don't call overlooking forgiving.  You don't want to be forgiven because you would have to give up old life, but you don't want to have to pay for it.  You will get all your sins overlooked, but then tomorrow you do the same thing worse. That's where salvation comes in.

      Everyone (who?) is 'forgiven but not (necessarily?) saved.  You are liable to do it all over again.  Jesus died once for all.  He saved you from the whole cycle from sin to forgiveness and gives you a new way to live.  A new nature, that's where- the new birth comes in.  You don't want it so you are worse off than someone who didn't hear. The relationship and order of these words match. Forgiveness he gives us a new way, a new nature that cannot sin. ("He who is barn of God cannot sin...) You can't be fooled anymore. "It is no longer I that do it, but sin in me.  You can choose which one (nature old and new) will increase.  You try half and half.  You don't have a sincere devotion to the new.  The lambs understand it clearly and are honestly devoted to the truth.  Why not you?  What's missing.   Sincerity and conviction. Honestly pray for genuine conviction. Not just, "Oh, no, I blew it again." Jesus' dying cost too much for that stuff.

      How to reach conviction.  Honestly pray for it.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.  If you are in guilt, get a move on with conviction.  Conviction goes somewhere guilt doesn't.  You won't really repent without conviction.  If you reach repentance, knowing Jesus.  You have to get a grip of yourselves.  You all received Christ.  There's the continual thing of having to reach conviction.  Repent and turn again that your sins might be blotted out.

      Overlook or forgive; beast or friend.  You all want to be the beast.  You are afraid that you won't be his beast.  He calls you to be his friend, you don't want to be a person.  You go for overlooking instead of forgiving.  You allow the shameful thing devour.  You're not urgent to reach repentance.  If you see guilt, why do you leave it there?  You are crazy.  Guilt is round and round.   Conviction isn't fear (in the sense of fear of punishment) conviction is remorse.  Extremely sorry because what it did for Jesus.  Allowing it to go on isn't remorse. Bearing fruits.  Must have conviction John the Baptist said.  If you are under conviction, you and everyone else will know it.  Repentance is conviction and forsaking.

The format (of the basis of salvation) might be new, but what's new about it?  You tip-toe around each other and are very careful not to say anything that might be anything real.  You have a code way of handling scriptures.

Every point there  is concerning salvation fits  into  this,  Later   in the sheep course, it deepens.  This reflects the pattern of scripture Fellowshipping  in the light is a help. I am not there all  the time to point things out so fellowship tends toward the flesh more and more. You don't have the sense to get out of what you hate. You need the Holy Spirit convicting you. The lambs are very much into remembering what they learned. They don't want to become like the older brothers and sisters.  You are determined to hide and drift away.  Real devotion to Jesus.

      At the Phila. satellite house, 8 brethren brought I interested all week. Jesus gave us a really good thing.  Now he's given us a lamb course.  It's really motivating for the lambs.  They intend to do it, what about you?  John 1:12, Pe. 119:93 now long wIll you limp between two opinions. -You should administer the course to, lambs before you are in lamb centers, but there's no joy to do it.  Older brothers and sisters are lazy and not urgent to fellowship in Jesus and in the light.  Jesus really allows an awful lot.  Seek conviction for guilt.  You need to be warned to flee from wrath.  Guilt goes round and round.
'Honest hatred of sin.  We don't even know how to pray as we ought. the Holy Spirit helps us. He also convicts us.  What's the point?  It's round and round because you stay at guilt.  You don't want to be convicted, you don't want old to be put to death.

      How can you be proud of the lamb house unless you are investing?  How can you be investing without joy.  Can't have joy unless in fellowship with Jesus.  Laziness hates the lamb house.  It  really is finding the best way to teach the lambs the most the quickest that they 'Will remember the longest.

      Pray to Jesus f or conviction f or sin so that your sin and guilt will be blotted out.  You need to be convicted over sin. The point is that whole forgiveness thing you think it's just something nice and it's forgiven.  Be nice and overlook.  Yes he does because he's silent.  You know it's wrong, your conscience tells you that it's wrong.  That's enough for you to go to Jesus to seek conviction.  Spirit wants you to, but is your flesh winning.  Lots of luck it your flesh  is winning.  How long until they are pure in Israel.

      You don't say you have guilt unless you have sinned.  You can be in fellowship in conviction and repenting from conviction.  You have guilt and how can you seek conviction.  Paul said I  take pains to have a clear conscience.

      It's not fit for animals to live with men. The Prodigal Son came to his right mind.

      Study conviction.

       DIPLOMAT MEETING                                                DECEMBER 5. 1978

       Guilt and conviction.               Is that a worrisome type bible study.

       The next lamb lesson is going to be the old and  the new and the separation  between them. Lamb introduction to the 12 basic verses. (We have a  20 page booklet printed up on these verses now.) Each verse is quoted and the title given to it.  For example, John 3:3 "Spiritual Blindness".  This title has to help the lambs get into understanding this verse.  John 20:31 "Evidence for Relief".  You wouldn't use the same word as in the verse, you use other similar words.  Belief comes close.  It has alot to do with his name, that lie is the Christ, the son of God. In his name has to do with a deeper belief
 in him.  John 1:12 A baby doesn't know anything about his father, he can't.  As you grow, you come to know him.     John 11:25. "Power over Death". Power has alot to do with the resurrection.   From now on when the lambs here these verses, they will here the title and will start understanding. The title's should be so accurate that the quiz will be deeper and they will learn more in the same amount of time.

       Hosea 4:7-8.(read verses 1-8)  The more they increased the more they sinned against me. They feed on the sin of my people, they are greedy. Verse 1  "The Lord  has a controversy with the inhabitants of the ' land". Verses 9&10, the blind leading the blind and they will fall into the pit.  Falling into deceit and leading in deceit.  Why is there no man.  There are no men left on the earth.  No one Is righteous, no not one.  Jesus came from Heaven.  On earth there Is no man, lie dropped into the world and ready to drop into Sheol. Jesus brought them up again past the world to sit in Heavenly places.         He turns beasts into men through the new birth.  So when lie comes back a second time, he  will have men to take with him. None in this world, but on the figurative earth. (Verse 3) With that background, all who dwell in it languish, brothers and sisters languish. The beasts, the birds and the fish.  Those who could be turned into men.  The usual things aren't there.  Even the fish are taken away.  There is nothing to work with.  Jesus came looking for men, but found none because they -all dropped down.  But the point of this passage, they got into this verse (verse 9) "They feed on the sin of my people..."
We are going to begin studying guilt.  Why did I go to that verse.  His contending is with the priests.   11 Timothy 3:6 Is a good reference. Teachers will be judged more strictly.  The older brothers don't want to take tip the responsibility. They would see how they would have to be and don't want to and let it go. If they would point to the truth that clearly it would really come back on them. (Paul said something about this.)

       The older brothers and spirit.  The older brother!; can't stand looking at each other, how can they handle things like this? (The article in the Allentown newspaper about our fellowship that talked about our "million dollar business" and Stewart's "beautiful house where he lives with several followers".) The older brothers know what they would get if they were fools for Christ.

       They feed on the sin of my people. It's easy to make a christian feel guilty. You're bad.  It's true and we have a dramatic case of how far you can push people (Guyana) because of guilt.  You bear it well when you get slapped in the face.  You don't think that you could be like that. That's not true.  If you know that guilt is a great force, you have some idea that guilt can really be used. Why do I point to that?  Everyone in the last 10 minutes considered whether or not I do it or not, but no one said a word. You don't plan these things.  I am not supposed to talk about guilt or I might use it if I mention it.  Those who would most like to think that I want to use your guilt in soft minded kind ways would have to go to far out levels of newspapers.  Guilt is not to be used but to be gotten rid of.  It's Jesus will that you are free.  My purpose is that you are free of sin.

       What about guilt?  Why do you act the way you do?  You say you take sin to lightly so you are supposed to lash yourselves and condemn yourselves -and stand up and say, "I'm wrong'. What does guilt do to you?
Guilt gets you to be ashamed of Jesus. Can't he making him known  If you are guilty. A house divided cannot stand--if you are divided  against yourself.

     No one has confidence, but you have a clear conscience.  Either you are guilty or you're not. 2 Pet. I.-8&9. Why are you like this? There won't be much result from me saying what's wrong.  Is there something there that you can't put your finger on? (A brother said) When someone says I'm not guilty, you don't believe them. Guiltless fellowship.  What does guilt do?  What does sin do?  Sin separates you from Jesus.  We are in mighty deep waters, thin ice.  Do you fellowship in the subject of guilt or go round and round in worries?

     Gayle doesn't look guilty why?  (Stewart passed around a picture of Gayle--even in the picture it was obvious that she was peaceful. and not guilty.)   (A brother said) Because she's faithful to Jesus. Marriage is a mystery. It means the relationship between church and husband. (Stewart mentioned the four basics, and someone said how Gayle sows to them more than we do.) A woman is a figure of the fellowship, church.

Marriage is a mystery, it means Christ and the Church.  From the physical, you learn about the spiritual.  Our fellowship isn't this way.  Physical woman happier than the spiritual woman. The problem with the sisters Is that they are jealous. When you look to Jesus you are happy.  Gayle has changed in the past three years.  'Marriage is a figure of Christ and the Church.  How is your collective relationship with Jesus?

 If our collective relationship with Jesus isn't good, we have to work an it.  We have a physical marriage to look to.  You would be surprised what people will put up with on account of guilt. They will  put up with weird things or turn themselves into weird things because of guilt.  Guilt has the power to do it.

     Gayle was supposed to be a guinea pig a few year-s ago. I think the experiment  has turned out good, but no one is interested.  You ask to spend it on your passions. The purpose of marriage isn't clearly on your mind so that the fellowship might be that way toward Jesus.  That ought to be your purpose.  Our fellowship somehow is supposed to look like that. (The way Gayle was in the picture.) It seems strange and obviously true at the same time.  Our fellowship--not the fellowship of the brothers or the fellowship of the sisters, but the whole church.  Not that the sisters are to imitate Gayle and the brothers me but there is a real point to be learned.  What makes Gayle that way and keeps you from being that way, as a fellowship?  The picture that we saw of Gayle, that really is the way that Gayle Is a whole lot toward me anyway.  What is it that Gayle can be that way toward me and you that way toward Jesus. The long end run shows in a picture and a realization on your part about Gayle which is something pretty big.

     Why isn't the fellowship happier than Gayle?  Gayle said: Jesus working through our marriage.  Partly she doesn't know.  That is extremely important.  Why is that important?  Alot of it has to do with her willingness.  The bottom of this is the bottom of your guilt.  The bottom of this present mystery.  Gail said: I'm the happiest when I'm the closest to you.  When my conscience isn't clear, I'm not close to him, not close to Jesus and others.  Alot of it has been arranged for me through Jesus and my husband.  Being close to Stewart knowing that you are pleased with me. I am sharing in the work. (Prov. 31) Husband and wife is a figure of Jesus and the Church.  My happiness doesn't come from me bypassing my husband to Jesus.  My happiness isn't resting on my efforts.  A whole lot of my happiness comes from that I am not in
 control of me and Jesus through my husband takes care of me.  I am at peace alot more than I used to be and I have more of a sense of being taken care of.

     In your relationship with Jesus, you always talk about striving, pressing on.  The lambs don't talk like that.   Gayle said she didn't talk like that.    What is her human happiness based on?  Her human happiness comes from knowing she's being taken care of. Gayle said: When we were studying guilt and conviction, I realized that I could stay close to Jesus without trying to make it up. I learned that through my marriage.

           (Gayle)   Stewart,  if  I'm willing does a whole lot of  the work-for me. If  I am
           sorry and turn.

           Has something to do with the word dependent. She's free to depend on someone else. This has alot of bearing an the fellowship toward Jesus.  Gayle trusts my love for her.  That's what makes her happy.  Remember that not that we loved him but that he loves us.  Once in a while you will I talk about Jesus' love for you.  Gayle just lives it, physically speaking in her marriage.  Our relationship with Jesus ought to be based an his mercy, Instead of trying to prove something. Constant worried look. Not by man's will or exertion.  Your relationship with Jesus ought to !@e based on his love for you.  It isn't so you aren't close to him as Gayle is close to me, so you suffer this constant knawing worry.  There is no confidence.  Gay](. is really confident in that picture.  She looks kind and gentle.

           You have no confidence    when you have yourselves . When you are not actually depending on Jesus. When you are depending on your efforts to please him. Gayle used to be the way you are. Gayle has learned that She can trust my love for her. In that what I am doing is from Jesus and it really works.  'You hear expressions like I got to be more striving.  Talking about Jesus' love for you.  It's true Jesus loves you and just like Gayle, when she does something wrong, my love for her is greater than the wrong.  But you lose that In the shuffle.  It's true as usual that you have to strive to please him, but you base everything on it and that's where it gets ruined. You substitute your efforts for the basis. Gayle dld not choose me, but I chose her. It really was me choosing her.

           Gayle used to be Identical to this. You did  not chose me but I choose you. Even now, she doesn't   know what   makes her happy. I used to say to her--Gayle, how is your commitment to our relationship. (And she -would say:)    I think it's better than yesterday, but I'm not really sure. I kept a straight face all the while. She was coming from thinking that her commitment mattered.  There is alot of truth to almost say It didn't matter. Once I decided, that was it.

           Gayle lives I can do it. You live with a guilty "I ought to." What is it that's lacking? The parallel should be clear. The Patriarchs--their wives were picked, that was right, so their marriages were right . It didn't matter what she thought.  The wives were picked almost with straws. What does make a right marriage?  It has to rest on the husband. The four basics (which is what we went to about Gayle's being happy) has nothing to do with it. When the husband is Jesus and the husband is able to be the leader. Her exercise with the 4 basics are replaced with something realer and better.   What is the significance for our fellowship?  In Gayle's case, her being close to me it's a natural fact that it rests on me and not on her. All she knows is that it's good wine and can't- explain where it came from.

           I have reason to be proud of my work, physically anyway.  Those are the real ideas about marriage.    But it's the purpose that I am mostly concerned with. Mighty nice by-product--too bad husbands here couldn't have it.  In fact, that by-product doesn't come through indulgence. You actually indulge the flesh the way you talk about it. Striving to press through. Gayle doesn't strive, she doesn't think of talking like that.  Elaine is a case of striving. Elaine is striving but not willing. Gayle used to be this way, so there is hope for you. Gayle came out of your thinking. I just lured her away from it.

           What is your thinking?  Looking to your efforts.  Expecting that your efforts are going to bring about some kind of relationship with Jesus.  They aren't.  'Your relationship with him is not based on your love for him.  You show that.  Anxious toil.  Elaine is into anxious toil, Gayle isn't. Martha's anxious about the business, Mary wants to be devoted to Jesus.

You are  too proud  to accept Jesus' love for you. You try to establish some other basis. You try to go back to the law. In   the process, you have to keep your guilt. Jesus has proven his love for you far greater than I have proven my love for Gayle, as individuals and a fellowship. It's enough that your lives ought: to based on it. mine is.  That's the fundamental mistake, because Jesus doesn't hit you over the head with a hammer and say, 'hey look'; I don't need to and neither does Jesus. You have a real need and only Jesus can fill it.

        Gayle is acting in a real way. Her life is based on my love for her in you case as a fellowship it has to be more so based on Jesus' love for you. Where two or three are gathered, that's a fellowship and it can bear children. That's the way the marriages should be. Gayle's picture is a happy one, I wish the fellowship would be that way. Your separation from Jesus isn't based on your shooting people. You're not basing your unity and your lives on his love for you.  It ought to be automatic and continue. We have believed and have come to know. Gayle said I took a chance and came to realize that this is the real way. Sure you took a chance.  She believed and has now come to know what the real way is.  I'm working backward, of course.

        Remember the six steps of love. You can only be loving when your hope is set in Heaven or your hope will be set somehow here. Gayle's hope Is set in Heaven. Gayle would say, "It is? "My hope is clearly in Heaven, she can't help it, she
has to follow. Her saying I want it to be Is enough. Jesus sees that. She is able to relax more.

        Now, why Isn't the fellowship that way?  Your lives as individuals has to be based on Jesus' love for you.  Your relationship with Jesus ought to be your greatest treasure.

        The lambs are cute, sheep  aren't.   Jesus is coming, back for men, not sheep.

         "I am guilty; I am not guilty. Round and round. You don't  talk or sound like Gayle. When Gayle was talking, It was like a breath of fresh air. Do you talk about guilt or do you go round and round about your worries. What's the point? If your life was based on your Lord's love for you, that's the way you would look (like the picture) The whole fellowship, that's speaking of the fellowship, unity in Jesus.  A physical woman Is a figure.  You try to have all the sisters and all the brothers.   It's spiritual, not physical . From the physical you learn about the spiritual.  There's physically, humanly, Figurative and spiritual, the lambs (in Phila.) understand  this, and introduction to sheep life matters. John 10:9 Jesus was promising a good life.  Physically, we aren't guaranteed anything.  We should not get into a good physical life.
Sheep--humanly; cows--physically.  We have our figurative life on the earth.  We weren't saved to live on the earth.

        Why are you ashamed to fellowship in Jesus' love?  It's greater than your guilt.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Why do you fellowship in hopelessness?  The only answer is because you are too proud to fellowship in Jesus' love for you. (We say such things as ... ) I am determined to press through the flesh. Gayle is physical Proof that you don't have to be that way.  The husband is like a spigot, it has to be turned on.

        When are you going to go to the centers? You're afraid that you are going to go to the centers and die.  So you huddle here in New York.


    The last five weeks were the best five we have had.   The income per brother was  higher than normal (of brothers working, in the business, but then there were alot out looking for jobs) approximately $400 per brother.  We're not making it this way. In the rug cleaning business we made $110,000 before taxes. $35,000 in taxes. There were 100 brothers and 50 sisters.  Each one of them for working 60 hours is taking $100 a week home.

    The jobs could be a permanent thing, have something on the side and be good at it.

    There was a new heating system put in (Phila. house). Drag for those who sit there.  Good for lambs and those who care about the lambs.  The lambs program almost equals retention.  It's strength instead of just good intentions.   You are not going to have  alot of lambs unless you want to make Jesus known.   In the centers you better have a sense of Jesus' love instead of worry and guilt.  Out there you will be more removed, and it will be a while before having a lamb program. If you are into making him known, it's easier out there than here.


      DIPLOMAT MEETING                                           DECEMBER  12, 1978


      What kind  of meeting should  we have?   We are going into the future of our fellowship.

      I expect to be getting there before the Big Meeting. There's four  major things I got to be doing.  No. I is Haiti.  I haven't touched the Big Meeting yet.  It's a four day meeting.  Carole Tomme wants to remind everyone to hope in the resurrection and to trust that Jesus has great plans for us.  Marcel the pharmacist went to be with Jesus. They went to see his wife Yvonne, pray for her.   (She's been depressed.)

      I want to encourage all of you to be urgent to listen to what the Holy Spirit shows you through your conscience. Put  wrong things away.

      At the time the Lamb Program began, the number saved went down. There's equal or more time than when the number saved was higher.  Nineteen saved so far this week; one week ago at this time 27 were saved.  That's a very important thing to look at.

      Last week was a different kind of meeting.  It pointed to another problem--salvation by works.  Something tao close to that was what seemed to be a far too big a factor and not a direct hoping in Jesus and fellowshipping in that.  Last week there was a pointing to the problem and making it understood.  This week there is another problem, now, what to do about it.  What about going out to the centers.  For two or three months I stressed going out to the centers and you say 'yeah' but there is no burning desire an the part of individuals to do so. Why? Because of your fear of flopping. There is a clinging for safety here.

      Another thing you have to keep in mind is the history of our fellowship.  Five years ago we went from Allentown to start a new fellowship.  We began to grow. They fell away in great numbers and the remnant gathered in New York for training and strengthening. Now, what can you say about our situation with respect to the going out and the coming in. There is alot of strength here but it isn't seen.

      Before I got save I talked to Mennonites  alot. Their understanding of the basics were good, but they hide their light. Hiding your light under a bushel. I am going to go into the difference between you and the lambs.  Lambs aren't like that (hiding what they know) they led three people to Jesus in one day, totally themselves.  It wasn't even me; one of them I never knew.  The average one of you and your knowledge of scripture and how to present Jesus to those who don't want to bear it is great, but something is wrong.  That's sad.  I feel like Paul when he said 'I fear my God may have to humble me before him because of the way you are.' Now is it true that the average one of you compared to the average christian that your knowledge of human nature and your ability to witness is greater?  What's wrong?  Something's wrong.

      Another one I would like to point to which is very common but symbolic in these things.  There is a young sister that went to Philadelphia, Cathy Stanbar, she's been saved six months and living in one month.  She never read the Understanding Life tract, she doesn't know the 10 colors, she wouldn't pass the lamb prerequisites let alone lamb course.  What are you doing?  Do you get the point?

      Another one is the lamb program.  It's really good.  Lesson number four is finished and is being put together. I expect to finish two more lessons before I go to Haiti and arrange it such that the 7th lesson will be witnessing so they will be doing field trips on that while I'm gone. The Sheep Witnessing Handbook will be done by that time so they'll have that.  The lambs can continue their program. It's progressing slowly, but it's progressing well.  It should be a two month course, that seems  better.

         We had our  first Philadelphia Center Meeting last  night. It was different, so different, that we were 3/4's  the way through before they realized it.

         How's the cult doing?  Another point to keep in mind as we proceed. (Someone said) We don't hear much about it.  I certainly here alot about it.  What does cult mean.  It's a term loosely applied to groups.  How's it going? (Someone said) There are alot of suspicious parents because of Guyana. We get things like whose your leader.  I used to live in a palacial house, now I live in a luxurious palacial mansion. Wait a minute, am I living in one?

         At the Sansom Street house  in Philadelphia, they had  a  sign in the window  that said (excusing the wrong grammar) "To what are you loyal". Everyone has to answer  that. Every group of  two or more is loyal to something or someone. (We unconfidently said that we're loyal to Jesus.) Loyal to Jesus, loyal to a cult, loyal to something,  loyal to someone.

         Everyone's quiet because they don't  really know  the answer to how's the cult doing. How's your lives?  How are you?  Round and round.  Most of you have trained yourselves not even to think about it. ("The Cult") All of you turn your paychecks into Harry.  How many of you have insisted on a real accounting of what happens to the money.  If you actually sit there and wonder about the money, it serves you right.  "We stand on the truth." That's something else.  Most of you have trained  yourselves to roll along.  That way you can be neither so you won't have real answers. I think that there is a whole lot of real arguments that it really is a cult in a real sense of the word.  You are certainly giving everything for something.

         Someone said) Stewart says one thing, when 'We are together we to another thing.  At the lofts two years ago there was a harsher discipline. A child is disciplined by his father, he doesn't ask why.  I often say, 'I have my fellowship and you have yours.' It isn't clear that the fellowship is toward Jesus as Gayle is toward me.  I am not the leader.  If you are following me, why aren't you like me.  Down in Philadelphia, that's my fellowship.  How come you aren't becoming like me?

         At the meeting we had in Phila., there were 11 lambs and 20 from here.  It was clear  that there was a difference.  What's the difference between a lamb and you?  They gave 30 totally different answers.  No one knew.  What's the difference in a really meaningful way? (With respect to the problem.) (Someone said) The lambs are faithful to Jesus and we're not.  The lambs are having lots of fun, they're being trained and strengthened.  Only you can have a conscious faithful from your heart. (Someone had said that the lambs were faithful from their heart to the right standard of teaching.)

         (Someone said)  Children  are  more innocent  more themselves,' play less games. As you get older you play more games and  pick up things from the other kids on the street. Things are wrong and you understand a whole lot more (than the lambs).  It's true that you do receive a clear right sight of what to do.  I'll stand on that, but you lack on doing it. Why?   There's no sense going to self condemnation. I'm not going into the usual older brothers' number.  It's wrong and how to make it right.  How's the cult going.  You bear it well when someone slaps you in the face.

         Cathy Stanbar's only hope is to start all over and have her prerequisites for the next course.  She wasn't taken care of, usually just ignored.

         How's your life.  What are you doing?  If you were going to be responsible in something that bothered you, for instance whose name the helicopter is in.  What do you fear?  If you started being responsible, you would have to be responsible to all that you know.  It leads to being more and more responsible.  These are the real things. That which is good has proven to be death to you.  How come you don't want to be responsible?  You can't speak of conscience now and not be faithful to it 10 minutes from now.  Why don't you listen to your conscience?

        How's your  life going and what's  the difference between  you and  the lambs?   Motivation is very low. You know how to keep up the front. What's the meaningful difference between you and the lambs?     (Our being into) looking good. Trying to get ahead by  looking good. With selfish ambition, every vile practice will come in. The difference between you and the lambs.     They are beautifully proud of their work. You are disgusted in your work, you are sick of your life. That explains alot more than the fronts and the comments  you have made.

        You understand  life  and your common  life alot  more than they would. Are they proud of their lives and you're not? They really are proud of their work, and so it was at 137. Now that your strength is alot greater collected here; motivation   and wine is way down.  Joy and encouragement alot down.  You are in the dark and guilty.  You say to the lambs, you will become weak as we are.  How come you are not proud of your work?  Round and round. (Or R &.R) We have potential strength; what to do about it.

        You still want to fellowship in the sheep and not the shepherd.  You want to hide in the lambs and not help them.  You are loyal to the round and round, you can't be shaken of it.  I tried deprogramming all the time.  Everyone here has the chance to hide in the mob and be less than a real person.  You run away and hide and not be responsible,. and you call that serving Jesus.

        You are growing up, and you are having growing pains.  You try to hide it.  You probably don't understand that.  "You just got to be good." There is a way in which you are going through growing pains.  You can't go to you're bad, you've blown it. A physical child growing up will go through different steps of development.  Mine are and so are you.

        What would get at all this stuff?  No amount of right organizational development is going to make up for faithfulness or lack of it on your part, but it can help.  I have been shouting going to centers for 3-4 months.  Just showing you what reason shows isn't enough.  Some kind of organizational move is needed.  If you cash in your low level of motivation for something immediate and then you end up with nothing. How's your view of your faithfulness of what you could be doing here?  Novelty-- the motivation of novelty is dangerous (and yet when there is a reason if the interest created from novelty    can be used.) What's needed and what kind of move should we make.

        We need a sheep school,   a child school and a martyr school.

        The sheep that are in Philadelphia. They are worse than  here or the same.    The more that you eat up a possibility that is If you have a chance of an answer to something and don't find it, you are worse off than ever. If you think that there's hope in Philadelphia and flunk, then what.  It's worse off there than here.  Don't dream about the city of brotherly love.  The sheep down there do see hope more.  They now understand what's needed.

        You are not thinking in a real way.  You know all the background and all the points.  What's needed and what's missing.  You are afraid to backslide and afraid to go further.  R & R (round and round) is that to which you are loyal.  "I know I shouldn't be, I should be determined to press through the flesh." What about leaving the cult, then what?  There is some encouragement sometime, enough to keep going sometimes. At 137 we went out to the centers.  There was alot of spirit but no strength.  Spirit started running out and we came here.  Now, you are more able; you have been going through a training center.  If an older brother or sister with a right spirit took the lessons in the 'Lamb Program and taught them, it would be the same as 137.  You need to understand and begin with the simple.  The lambs are willing.  They really do study.  You see them the way many of them are.

          The groups of 20 died  the death of  R & R. They were an attempt to get ready to go out to centers. Absolutely nothing  happened. Why? All of you would go for smaller groups, but you are not sure why.  What actually happened with the groups of 20?   What was the nature of those groups? They were supposed to be evenly balanced, dividing up our strengths and weaknesses.  If we break up into groups, should they be equal strength or should we put the bad ones over here.  Which one do you want to try again, equal strength or "x"?  They are either equal strength or they are unequal strength.  If they are unequal strength, then what?  Some groups slugged it out. Something gets going and it gets dragged down. Now on the one hand to protect the lambs and on the other hand to protect the older brothers.

          The child must increase and the lambs must decrease. In my innermost self I delight in the law of God ... I want to fellowship in the truth, but there is this cult that has a hold on my neck.  How about some organizational move to change things.  Exerting forces at the right time and in the right way. Why isn't there a real council and you talking to them and them talking to you.  No one to take her by the hand.  What kind of organizational move can we make that by its nature gets at these problems?

          What are your talents?  You are all sort of equal. There is now a whole identity to this group.  You are all homogenized.  That's something that can be relied on. Act according to that.  Remember that there must be fairness and division among you; so  that those who are genuine may be seen among you.  All of you have been saved between 1 1/2 and 5 years and you are all about the same age physically.  You all understand  the work of the cult and you all understand the basis of God's will.  You understand what's right about working together and you understand the problems that come in equally.  You see a certain amount of hope and you see alot of problems.  You have no ideas of what to do.

          We all break up into small groups; a minimum of 6-10.  We all go to houses that we call satellite houses in Philadelphia, Washington, Cleveland and New York areas.  We will operate very differently than we have before; assuming that you are going to be into doing that.  That's no answer because it leaves a whole lot of questions. If we did it this way, you would have to be responsible.  It has to be some way to get you to be responsible to the truth.  How do we do that one?  There has to be some other little twist in there.  How about a simple one?  Remember if you are
going to change t he complete framework, we are messing it and everything is in question.  We will wind up worse.  We can t proceed on if s and possibles.

          All the points gone over so far; all these things have to be dealt with.  The next level of understanding--what's needed and how to do it.  The key to the whole process, is the basis on which we divide.  How do we make the differences?  Should there be equal strength or all types.  The basis on which we divide is the only variable left.  Let's divide an a really strong basis.  Let's break up the cult.  How do you know that it wouldn't I t be out of the f frying pan and into the f ire.  Tired old sheep don't like that. You make life so weird so that a life in the world does look better.  About this basis, just as soon as there is a standard, then there is some way to play games.  That's what you do.  Keep that in mind with any success you meet.  You have a set of rules now in your cult.  They aren't very fulfilling or successful.  How about another set of rules?  Did it ever dawn on you that I am talking about a really big move.  It's bigger than moving to the centers or moving back to New York.  It's spiritual.

          (when we go out,) there are bound to be zealous houses and sleepy houses.  How to pull
          the rug from the cult, but you have to be responsible.

          John 10:9 We are guaranteed a good life humanely, not physically.  Jesus takes care
          of our sheep life, not our cattle life.
   DIPLOMAT MEETING                                                                                                     DECEMBER 19, 1978

 "Going home for Christmas."      Rumors  start and end with  R&R.
(Meg  Clarke)  "Sometimes it helps to go-home for Christmas and sometimes it doesn't.  It's a matter of conscience."
 (Julie Jacobs) When we were younger we made the first choice of putting Jesus first when we moved away from
home--that's the  issue now."
(Stewart)Those who kill father or mother, raven will pluck out eye.
(Chris Blaise)"There isn't an attitude of if Jesus doesn't want me to go, I won't.  Brothers and sisters should find out
whether or not it's pleasing to Jesus."

It isn't good for Tim McAndrews to be able to hide among the sheep.He's meant to be booted out.  There's no law that
says that sisters can't be on the Board of Directors.  About going home for Christmas.  It is indeed up to your conscience,
it has to be.  All the flesh wants is to be told what to do.   Because Tim and the rest of you desire not to be responsible that
determines and runs you.  Trying to pass off responsibility in an infinite number of sneaky ways.      From the crude
'Stewart what should we do'down to the finesse.  We went through it with the lambs, then the 20 jewels, and now  you.
"Going home for Christmas."  This is the one you've been doing alot of round and round about.  Thinking about whether or
not you will say anything.  You are going to do what you are going to do with the reasons that you usually do when all is
said and done.  You don't stop something you haven't finished.  I would even give  advice. Although it's true I should at
least point to some facts that you  are   marvelously  overlooking.     You  have a fine   way  of forgetting what God wants
to get your own  way.    It's a fact that you do what  you  always do. You don't hear it from  each   other because  you  sell
each  other  down the drain. Now, how bout some facts that really have bearing. Someone also said "What are the specific
factors that influence our decisions." Another thing I noticed is that all you mentioned what the effect on your physical family
until Chris said something about the good of the fellowship.  That ought to be one of the first factors.  If I do XYZ what will be the effect on my covenant.  Theoretically we have a fellowship.  We have a covenant.  What will the effect be on those here be.  You mentioned your family. Where's your heart?  You showed that it's not here.  We mentioned that the number saved is declining.  This week it's almost  cut in half again.  The point being ... I am not going to get carried away by  making suggestions because they aren't heeded anymore. You say 'Come and let us hear.' They will hear but they won't do anything.  That's the way it will become. When I asked the interesteds (IN PHILA) what did I say that didn't make sense, they couldn't come up with a thing.  Why aren't they followed?  One of the is that you biggest factors is that you said you fellowshipped about it, but you forgot to mention

 Jesus' will,  but you fellowshipped about it but you happened to forget about it. Well, there's something else you ought
to consider. Before the other factors, you  ought to put first things-first. You are not going to put first things first. You
are  going to do what you do for the reasons you do. The unsaved say 'Oh no, I do what I want  to do, no one can push
me around.' You wouldn't say that with your mouth. (But that's where we're  at.) If you did put first things first  like the
effect on the fellowship. Another thing  that  is very high on the list that several  started   making a stab at. This is not the
first time. (That  we've "gone home" for Christmas.) With  the lambs it's new. The  average  one of you has gone through
it 3.7  times. It's old to you. You refuse to learn your lesson. You go through it and you forget it. You put it behind you so
you won't grow. You  don't want to face what you  are doing. I did this 4  times, what  was the result. You don't put it
high on your list.  It's not brand new to you. You have your  own experience. There's no other facts involved that  should be high on the list.

December 25--your family    gathers to rejoice   in the birth of Christ,  why shouldn't  you  be a part of it anyway? Going
home   for  Christmas. I am not  going to tell you to go home or not.  So you fellowshipped  with the council.  You
fellowshipped with someone  about  it and  you  have  your front. I   fellowshipped about it.   Someday you are going to
meet Jesus.   You know games   and you know honesty. Try  to learn what is  pleasing to the Lord. You know, other
copies and what they will let you  do. December 25  is a time for you to get mocked and take part in cursing Jesus.  I
wonder how many of you said to your family 'You are not into Jesus why don't you come to my Christmas party?' The only
way that it would be right would be if there was  an honest fellowship with whom you could honestly talk to about it.  You
made sure that there isn't an honest fellowship so there isn't a handle on you.  No control over you.  You want to be free to
do what you want.  The only way it would be right if there was an honest fellowship.  You made sure there isn't.  You
would all have to value what the fellowship said to you.  You would have to say if this is breaking fellowship.  You would
really have to know from them and do what they show you.  That's the only situation that would be right.  We are
supposed to be a fellowship--a covenant--It really is every man in his own house.  It's just round and round--there's no
fellowship, so there's no breaking fellowship.  Round and round and breaking fronts. It's only fronts so what does it matter.
The only way it would be right is if you made an honest fellowship.  That you made sure that it existed so that you would be
free. That's why you go around with the dull weird thing.   The cult makes a fool out of you. You won't be responsible and
put first things   first  and if they are wrong change them. Therefore, you got this. You don't think of adding up the value and
adding up the cost and acting according to the bottom line. You begin with what you want to do and you wind up
doing it in the name of the Lord. I really think that's what you do. They came to Jesus and said to him 'Lord, I will follow
you anywhere, first let me bury my father.   That means  until his  father died.That doesn't mean that his father died.

              He wanted to stay until his physical family was finished. He always said 'Lord let me do it..."  sounds familiar,
bet you don't know how. They didn't want to be responsible.They want to do what they want to do but make it look like
something else. Honor   me before the people although I know it's wrong. The first time I went through  it, it took awhile.
The lambs took a while to realize that it's more than December 25.  The others sat their dark and guilty and weird.  They
knew it was right. They could have written a book.  There's something much deeper and it's an example of what's
happening.  It's really sad.  It really is the way you handle it and the fact that you destroyed fellowship so badly that it's
everyone in his own house and try to make it look like you are in fellowship.  That's a cult if I ever saw one.  Two faced.
Esau sold his birthright for a meal.  It has to do with setting Jesus above your highest Joy.  Matter of fact, you've heard that
you try to make the fellowship look so bad that the world looks better and you have your excuse to leave.  It wouldn't
change matters much if we took a vote afterward and asked them if you were glad you went.  Very few would say yes.
You know the rules.  I hate talking like this.  How many of you said 'I wonder what the effect would be an my new
creation. You want to go home to witness to your parents.  You can't witness to 17 year olds, how can you witness to your
parents? Some said 'I can't witness because of the way they are.' You are so unreal.  Scratch Brother 'Wurmbrand.  How
has your witnessing record been?  You have to answer that not  me. If there was an honest fellowship to examine each one
of you, I wonder how many of you it would be decided that your spirit is that strong that their spirit would not blow over
you. Some of you they would say a leaf would blow over you. How much would they say you are going to a party to
witness.  "A covenant for nuns" Families understand that because it's a church, she made   a vow not to speak f or three
years. You bear it well enough when someone slaps you in the face. You are doing it in the name of the Lord.

If these things are untrue or unfair, you don't say so.  If you say that they are true, meaningful and fair, whatever you do,
consider them in the light of these things.  Don't give your old creation the luxury  of doing what you want to do in the dark.
Serving two  masters.  In all that you do, do to the glory of God. All these are just lost. That's all I got to say about going
home  for Christmas. It's sickening that thinking with most of you, you intend to do "x" when we get together, no one
supports it. Something's mighty fishy. Alot of you think,  'They are making me feel bad about going home for Christmas.'
You are going to do what you are going to do for the reasons you do always. I'm not going to try to change you. I can't.
You are responsible. You are bought. You received good things from Jesus. What you do is on you. If there are any other
factors , let us consider them. You are not lambs. you don't need advice. A brother said "Alot of brethren 'went home' last
Christmas and didn't come back." If Life is dull enough , you will look for strong drink in other ways.

            THE BIG MEETING. What about the Big Meeting? A brother said  "I am going to be in the light about this
subject. "This subject" but the rest.... some light! There's no honest fellowship. You know the agreements. -You are going
to do what you do for the reasons that you always do and remember the rules, leave each other alone. You know.  How
are the groups?  Peter George telephoned Jeff Bernstein.  He said that the last year of his life was a waste anyway. That's
true, it was a waste.  He should get a medal.  Add up how much you accomplished.  Are you satisfied with just existing?
There's no board of directors physically.  About the lambs, did you hear?  There's tricks on every quiz.  The last question
... you were directed to keep a diary and on the top of  the page for each day "grow" or "wither".  A) I meant to-you know
the choices... the last choice was yes, I did it.  A whole lot lost four points.  You don't have any points to lose.  They
understood it, and I can look back and understand what I'm doing.  You won't examine it and won't hate it.  You won't
examine it and act according to the bottom line and your talents, etc.  They overlooked it and now they are doing it.
Moses dismissed his people and they went to the twelve tribes and got worse and worse.  You can't be children always.
You can't say you haven't heard what is right.  You will try like the others.  You have heard what is right.


             If you are getting trained at your job can you stay here? Why not. This has to be one of the biggest centers. What
our house is and what it should be. It's you  fellowship. Surely your understand the scripture, "They each went to their own
Speaking of where you hide or you joy.  There's another mansion being built, it's not a hiding one.  House--your
fellowship.  Your life together.  It means that house--which lives in a physical house.What about going to other places like
Montreal or Baltimore?  The other places have to be open somewhat. Americans can't get jobs in Canada. Baltimore's
close to Washington.

When will the groups be going out?  Ideally right after the Big meeting.  How many are legitimately ready to go?  First of all
they are a house, no matter how zealous or lazy. The groups of 20 never got ready. (Even this isn't ready.) It depends on
how right the  leaving would be.  What's holding you back.  It depends on what's holding you back. We are ready and we
want to go. Automatically, you are not ready. It boils down to saying we are going to drift for a while.  What helps would
be guidelines for going to Custard's last line.  New mind the one that when you are zealous and ready and go.  Are you that
alone that you can't unite with someone.  What about watching television?  It will take that for some.  'We will backslide in
the name of the Lord'.  There's nobody without any interest in anybody for no reason.  Four want to go to Richmond as
opposed to 28 now in Cleveland and 71 now in Washington.  You shouldn't relate (those 4 going out) to this.  That's
another matter, that's not one of these groups.  Satellite houses that will be (become?) lamb houses.  Theoretically, you are
into raising lambs, training them, showing them  with your lives everything. The first time we moved out (from Allentown) it
was alot more zealous.

Can sisters invite brothers?  Anyone can invite anyone. (As far as) restrictions and prerequisites, there's no reason why a
sister can't. The physical i.e. changing in New York because of jobs.  Why not set up the same shape  here? (As in the
centers.) On the other hand, consider this, that few in this much time have gotten in groups.  There's inertia on you to hide in
the glob forever.  We will have to have the glob here because no one cares nothing for anybody, and you don't care
enough to be responsible for your life.

 Are we going to control the ages in the houses?  Depending on what you mean about controlling the ages, sure.  I am
thinking of the lambs coming out of a lamb house and older brothers saying, they're cute, I want them to make me look
good.  My son the Doctor.  Your it now.

Vehicles.  We spend as much on vehicles as we do in Haiti.  It's hard to picture how that happens.  Yet, a board of
directors should do something about it.

What about our houses being self sufficient?    You only go for the side you want. As a fellowship we made so little money
before, because we were so inefficient. it's a real bad one end way, but so is this.  Face it, most of you don't care about the
fellowship. Most of you don't care about the Church of Bible Understanding.  You wouldn't say that, but it's true.  You
don't care about understanding period.  The cult is a drain of my time.  Either way, something's got to break.  I can do
better things than go through this all the time.  This is the real problem.  You are not angry.  You ought to be real mad.  No
one moved a muscle.  Laziness everywhere.  There's no hatred of your own death.  Can't even get you together to get you
out of the cult.  Perhaps what  you've been doing is better.  You break yourselves down so that the world looks better. Get
together on any basis.  Get a house together.  'I am going to sit here until Stewart makes me do something'.   We are
planning to get a building for vehicles. In between planning it and doing it that's the problem.  We have such good plans,
don't we kiddies.- Some of you want a life centered in making Jesus known.  On the other hand, there will be watching
TV.  Where the heart is, there the treasure is always. (someone asked if we were going to get our own buildings) You are
responsible to get your own building. If you care enough to be together, you will care enough to get your own building.

 It would  take something  to  look to. When you  are willing  to settle for a nothing cult,  -that's the R & R. If you
don't    like doing it   (The poison) He'll (cult leader) will make you do it a little harder. Laziness and cheating on Jesus.
What about selling the Boston house?  It cost 70,000 and has been appraised for 71,000 without repairs. We've spend 20,000 on taxes and payments.  Where's your board of directors?  There's no honest f fellowship, so It has to be on any basis. There couldn't be a right one. If it went an any longer, you made it this hard. (Someone said) "The council should set up standards, we can't all pull up." Do you think that the council will believe your spirit? That's the way sin works. Looking for a way around a standard to work with the little conscience you have. R & R, face it, you got to be zealous. Whether or not you want a  TV set. This is what you are building. Enjoy. (Someone said) The older brothers like Jeff Bernstein, Peter Jacquay and Jeff Wool should unite.  That's a standard.  Now everybody, Mother is getting old.  A righteous man is kind to his beast.Mother is old, she can't bare children, but daughter can.  You mustn't despise her, she bore you.  But mother's getting old.  Tired old bunch of sheep.

Accepted practice that if a woman was old and man wanted to have children, have them by a younger woman.  What does
that mean?  Mother old.  That doesn't mean you should despise Mother.  You are going to do what you do for the reasons
you do it.  I am going to do what I do for the reasons I do.  You won't fellowship in what I do, so let's fellowship in what
you do. You can't face that. So whatever you tell yourselves.  Everyone's going to have to decide if they are going to
have a fellowship or not.  There's still coming back to the School.  New York is still Everyone doesn't have to move out to
centers. You can stay at the School. These groups are better as they get older.  What can you do with Jeff Wool?  You
can't talk to him.  As you get older.  The younger ones.  It might be better for them to live in big places like New York.
When you get older, you've been had.  You think that the older ones would be glad to have a bunch of younger ones that
they're raising up.  You would think that they would want that.  The second best thing for the younger ones is  that they be
in one place.  All that is being built in the Lamb House system. 2-3 brethren don't want to be in Cleveland.  They can come
back here.  The real need. Another way of putting it.  You need to have honest goals in front of you that you're striving to
reach.  Settling for nothing less than achieving.  So there's reason...aren't you glad to go out for a change.  Even novelty
doesn't mean much to you. Motivation of novelty. All joy has reached an eventide. It already appears that lambs are real
lambs and gathering for Big Meeting.  Three got saved the other day.  The one, a sister, moved in the next day.  One
hitchhikes 18 miles. (Gayle used to do that to come to fellowship.) Another, 23, is in the Navy.  He has pictures of Jesus all
over, leading his wife to Jesus.  One way or another, Jesus is going to raise up a real fellowship.  I'm interested.  Everyone
else will let the shameful thing devour.