We Won't Get Fooled Again September 5th 2014 Hi Everyone, I recently argued with an ex-member about the group he now belongs to. What is my side of the story? What is bugging me? Well, I have been, over the years, developing a belief about groups started by ex-members of Cobu: they don't work. What I mean by this, I will talk about here. The title of this short piece is "We Won't Get Fooled Again" because I fear that that is exactly what has happened to some of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Here I will offer my understanding and my opinion. This is a correction, an admonishment, and an appeal. I think those about whom I will write will not be happy with me. I hope that after they get passed their initial reactions that they will consider my analysis and my antidote. If you are reading this, you were probably in Cobu. I don't need to rehash the whole mindset, the psychology, the abuse or the history. I am assuming that much of what I have already written is accurate enough for most to not have to go back and restate the obvious. We ex-members got out. We are now physically out of the FF, out of Cobu, away from ST. If you were like me, you did not know or want to do the next step. The next step largely depended on what you understood about what you were stepping away from. I took about 2 years to get to a "spiritual hospital" of sorts. My first step out of Cobu was into drinking and drugs. I knew that Cobu was a bad place but what ST taught me and you about "out there" away from his group was still with me. I did not believe I could be a Christian away from Cobu and I did not want to. I also at times thought about returning to Jesus but had a head full of ST's condemnation and an image of an angry God. When I did finally come back to God I was grateful, relieved, but alone and weak. God had put into my heart and head to seek Him and be baptized in the Holy Spirit. I knew and didn't know at the time that God was saving my life. I do not say nor have I ever believed that the baptism of the Spirit IS being born again. I think they are two separate things. I think sometimes God wills that a person get born again and be baptized in the Spirit at the same time. But to my point. I was out of Cobu but in need of God. God rescued me and welcomed me back to Himself. The next step for me and some of you after rededication was finding a church. I just wrote two pieces: What is Church and What is Fellowship. I do believe that church is important for the believer in Jesus. We ex-members got a corrupted version of what Christians should be like "together." The process for us to find a healthy church was either easy or difficult depending on one's depth of belief and commitment to Cobu. Some ex-members stayed away from churches for a year or more than a year before joining a church. One who took this route is now a pastor and an author. He was away from Cobu and away from church long enough for the dust to clear and then he proceeded on his path. Others have taken this road and have not become pastors or authors but are in healthy churches and are healthy Christians themselves. Their baggage about Cobu was left long ago in some dumpster on the east coast. Others ran into church right after Cobu and they freaked themselves out and had to pull back and pace themselves. After years of freaking out, they are now able to be a part of a church without standing up and asking the congregation if they are speaking loud enough. Some don't want God, don't want church, and they don't bother trying to do anything christian. There are many examples of many kinds of returning to God and then joining fellow believers in worship. I want to make clear here that I do not prescribe a specific method or path. I would be, in a sense, doing what we all left in the first place. This brings me to what I came here to talk about. There are some ex-members who, like all of us, were in the FF or Cobu. The difference between these ex-members and most is what they did after escaping. While I do not prescribe "one right way" to heal from Cobu, they seem to. One group in particular was started by an ex-member and then handed off to another ex-member. Whether this is true or not, I cannot find out because the leader and members of this group seem adverse to answering "nuts and bolts" questions. Without me doing a 3 year research and investigation, I would like to pause and comment on what I have understood so far about them and about other ex-member "generated" groups that seem only to attract ex-members. As stated these exmember-started groups seem only to have ex-members in their membership. The leader seems evasive and elusive when it comes to questions or testing. The defense seems to be that we who want answers are using Cobu tactics and are acting like Traill. Isn't it true we did not learn how to ask questions of leadership in Cobu? We did learn to judge and mistreat each other but it is erroneous to apply what we did in Cobu to present day. Why? Because of a few simple facts which challenge the beliefs of the members of these new groups. Hello! Cobu was 30 years ago! They would have to believe and some do believe that we are not 30 years older and that we have learned absolutely nothing from the Holy Spirit or from pastors, brethren, authors, from family or friends. This one group does believe this. They believe that all who were members of Cobu have the same basic problem and they behave as though they have the one way to heal or recover from our common malady. This then goes to what I believe is a common problem ex-members who start ex-cobu groups share. I have worked on my web site for 16 years. I have had contact with at least 200 ex-members over the years, more than I knew well in Cobu. I have heard testimonies, have argued beliefs and doctrine, have deepened friendships which were begun long ago. I give you my observation and opinion now. I can see that many who were in Cobu, who then got out and found non-cobu Christians, went to non-cobu universities and seminaries, who worship at churches which have no knowledge of Traill's cult, are healthy Christians. They bear little to no sign of the "mind set" or behavior of Cobu. When they think and then speak, they show all the indications of one who is listening to Jesus, one who is learning about God, one who is receiving counsel from the Holy Spirit. They do not seem to be beholden to a pastor or leader or one pet teaching. They do not seem to have an unhealthy loyalty to a church or a denomination. They also show individuality. They are themselves and speak not from a collective, but with a single redeemed voice. It seems to me that ex-members who hastily get into groups with ex-members right after Cobu run the risk of unknowingly creating a new, mini cobu. They have not have the time and separation needed to distinguish and disengaged from what they just came from. Worse still is the ex-member who holds onto a piece of or all of the FF/ Cobu model. When they left Cobu physically, they remained mentally. These ex-members can be seen and heard recreating what they consider God's will for them which happened 40 years ago but this is a similar but different kind of problem which only affects a small number of ex-members. When I said that these exmember xcobu groups don't work, I mean that they do not function to serve their members as a healthy church. The standards for leadership are not followed. The accountability of leadership is not apparent. The main problem is that there are little to no non-cobu Christians in these groups and so these exmembers never really get away from the corruption of Cobu. They create a new dome to live under and naturally anything outside their dome is suspicious. These ex-members who start things, I think, need to stop and consider their own fitness to lead. What are they starting? Is it in scripture? What are the standards and teachings for what they are doing? Like Traill, they seem to be creating something that cannot be questioned and those seeking to test them are themselves somehow "unfaithful" in some respect. To pull back and look at the over-all appearance of some groups of ex-members, they adhere to specific teaching and at times speak with a collective voice. They not only disagree with anyone outside their group, but they cast doubt on the very salvation of those asking questions. They display an undercurrent of loyalty to a leader, to a teaching, and by proxy, to the group formed around them. My admonition to those inside these new "groups" is that you test and question your leader and his teaching. The problem might be that you yourself are what you accuse those outside your group of being. You joined this group so quickly after cobu that you have not dealt with your own damage sufficiently enough and have not separated yourself from Cobu long enough to be able to effectively test or question your ex-member/leader. You also might be reluctant to test for fear of repeating our sin against one another in Cobu when we judged each other. If you are afraid of this then you are proving to yourself that you still need time away from ex-member oriented groups. You need to be with non-cobu Christians. For the leaders of these ex-member groups, I have a rebuke. If you are not willing to answer questions then you need to stop what you are doing. If you rely on prophecy as support for what you are doing, then you need to stop. If you are seeking to be a leader of some ministry and you have not met the standards for Bishops and Deacons then you need to stop. If you have met these standards, then there are committees and boards in the body of Christ that can test, approve, commend, or ordain you. If you choose to not apply scriptural standards to your "ministry" and to yourself, then you need to openly state this to your members. We former members of the Forever Family and the Church of Bible Understanding have some very basic truths in common. We joined a group started by an unqualified and untested leader. Most of us were verbally and psychologically abused in this group. Being out of this group, each of us have a little or a lot of work to do in our own lives when it comes to repairing the things that were damaged by Traill. I do not trust an ex-member to start anything or lead anything if he or she has not shown in word, deed, and attitude, that this work of separation and distinction from Cobu has been done. Otherwise you have a damaged ex-member who learned Christianity and leadership from Traill about to reenact the same mindset but with a new teaching and a different wrapper. Most ex-members won't get fooled again but some have and there are those ex-members who are willing to lead them. Members of these groups,I urge you, get with non-cobu brethren. So called leaders or prophets or teachers of these new xcobu groups: go to an open forum and answer questions. If your ministry is of God then my questions or the questions of others will prove that God really wills you to do this thing. If you consider me unfaithful, a backslider, never saved, then exclude me from this process. Members of your group should be able to watch you in front of a board or an ordination committee and see that you are not running in vain or laboring in vain. I do not like saying this but I think the members of these small groups led by ex-members have been fooled again. I think the reason one prominent FF brother has fought with me so hard over the years is that I don't believe the FF was God's will and he does. I believe God still loved us and cared for us while we were in, but the idea of the FF was not His. This brother, I think, does not want to face the truth that he got fooled, that he was taken in and used by Traill. To a lesser extent, I think the same can be said of the brother who enjoys rewriting the New Testament. He is proud and the idea that so magnificent a brain could be fooled by a vacuum cleaner salesman is preposterous and so he spiritualizes his folly. If you are a member or associate yourself with these ex-members and/or what they call a ministry, a true interpretation, or what God's will was for us back then and now, I urge you to step back and recognize that these individuals have not sufficiently recovered from Traillism and are unfit to lead. One last note. There is a cynical view that I am arguing with these leaders in order to eliminate competition. Let me first say in my defense, bhhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaha(ccoughing, crying))) ahahhhhahahahahahahahaha! I run this web site at my own expense. I give my opinions and observations. Sometimes I tell what I believe God has shown me. I have and do support brothers and sisters who have ministries. I commend those who are leading and pastoring in healthy churches. I also do not presume that what I write will be 100% heeded and acted upon. I am not a pastor, a leader, or a teacher. I have never represented myself as such. I think those leaders and groups against whom I contend don't like me because they perceive, unrealistically, that I am able to persuade ex-members away from listening to them. I do not give myself that credit and I credit you all with having gained 30 years more of life with God and the ability to decide for yourselves what is right. If I were trying to "steal sheep" wouldn't I have some kind of sheepfold myself to bring them to? I have none and my previous point will suffice for a conclusion. Ex-members need to find non-cobu Christians and go to their non-cobu sheepfolds. The only profit I gain from all this is knowing that I spoke up for the good of our ex-cobu brethren. One last, last note. I am not referring to the foundation of these brethren, which I believe is truly Christ. I am talking about what they are building on their foundation. 1 Cor 1-3. I think they are saved and will go to heaven. I do think that their building materials are inferior and they will suffer loss. We have a choice about how we build and what materials we use.