Recently, I declared that my writing and comments about the Church of Bible Understanding and its leader were complete. I took a run at its history and how we members were defined by it. I then tried to look at our lives as Christians now and how we are succeeding or failing in the body of Christ, keeping in mind what effect living in Cobu had on us. I wrote with others about one of the main activities of the FF/Cobu: “witnessing.” It occurred to me that the beginning of my Christian life and indeed the beginning for many who joined Cobu was formed and fraught with false teaching. The fundamentals of our faith were taught by someone who himself was never discipled by a Christian pastor or teacher. In short we learned the Christian life wrong. So now when it comes to the 4 basics: Prayer, Evangelism, Scripture, and Fellowship, we either have, over the years, corrected or replaced Traill’s teaching or we, to some extent, still follow the model set down by him years ago.

I now want to write about “church” and I can’t help thinking about what we were taught and how my view of “church” or “fellowship” was tainted by Traill. As I said before, I am writing to those who were damaged like me in the FF/Cobu. Many ex-members have moved on. They are in churches now and are thriving as Christians and none of what I will say here will be new to them. They have done what I am about to do: Think out loud and on paper about a major aspect of our Christian life, decide what was of God, and proceed to engage the brethren in a current church, and grow up and away from the putrescence of Traillism.

I have been kindly criticized for being verbose when in the process of “thinking out loud” but I cannot help it. I have tried to edit and refine but still there is too much in my head and it needs to go somewhere. I hope that my deliberations here will not tire but inform those who are also sorting things out.

Some brothers and sisters were kind enough to look my writing over and give some pointers. One big barn door I missed was my treatment of the word "doctrine." I intend to fix this problem soon but for now I want to say that when I refer to doctrine and especially doctrine that leads to division, I mean lesser doctrines or false doctrines that lead either to a church split or worse, aberrant theology giving birth a fringe group or cult. Paul speaks of sound doctrine to Timothy. Jesus spoke of the pharisees, "teaching as doctrine the precepts of men." I want to make clear that there are doctrines held by most Christian churches today which are basic and sound. It is the lesser or inconsequential doctrines that have been developed over the centuries of church history of which I have a contention. Please read the word, "doctrine" here with my intended meaning in mind.

In this piece there will be some references to Traill’s teachings if only to contrast them with the truth. I do not intend to make this “all about Cobu.” My desire is to talk about now, now, now, when it comes to our Christian life. So what about “church”? The word church comes this Greek word. Ekklesia which means “called out” or called to assemble. This makes me think of the words “holy” and “separate.” What is church but a gathering of believers away from the world. When Paul wrote, he was addressing the believers, those who were Christians at the time, those who gathered together to worship, read scripture, and had fellowship with one another. Paul was not addressing the world. His writing was directed to those called out of the world, called to worship. I am also reminded of the Hebrews led by Moses, called out of Egypt to worship God. Jesus in John 17 said “I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those whom thou hast given me.” WE are in the world but not of the world. When we gather together we are identifying with Christ.

First, I think that there is a distinction between being a member of a church and being a member of the body of Christ. I think that there needs to be a distinction. Members and ex-members of Cobu were taught that they are one and the same to a destructive extreme. To be in “fellowship” in Cobu was to be in fellowship with God. To leave Cobu was to leave God’s will for us being together as a church. Outside this cult there were and are Christians and Christian churches. What is a church? What is the church? What is the body of Christ? I think that all Christians were born again and born spiritually into the body of Christ. I recently heard a radio ad for the Catholic church. A woman was giving her testimony. She said that she was born into the Catholic church. I understand this thinking but find it unscriptural. We can be born and raised in a family. We can be trained or educated in an institution but simply attending and being taught the bible from a very early age does not mean we are members of the body of Christ. It may mean that we are a member of a particular church.

Is there a difference between church membership and being a member of the body of Christ? I hope to be brief here but thorough. The local church body is an organized entity, a vehicle for the members of the body of Christ to meet, to come together. Let me try and fine tune this. Members of the body of Christ come together in a location. This location is set up to facilitate the worship of God. When Paul wrote to Titus and Timothy, he set them instructions for the local body of believers. Paul instructed them: how to appoint elders and bishops, how to treat widows, older men, younger men, how to minister. These were instructions to the members of the body of Christ, for members of the body of Christ: how to organize themselves and function in unity, locally. These were instructions on “how one should behave in the household of God.” When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he instructed them on how to use their gifts when gathered together. Paul told them how to take the Lord’s supper. When we gather, we are members of the body of Christ assembling to worship. The local meeting place with its pastor and deacons can be designated a church.

The line was blurred for us in Cobu and even among some Christians. There is a belief that if one attends church regularly that this is part of one’s “faithfulness to God.” Some think that this is all God requires of the believer. I grew up Catholic. I would say that the Catholic church was very successful in equating church membership with faithfulness to God. I suggest that some pastors, out of desperation for success, cross the line with their flocks when they promote membership in their church as an expression of faithfulness to God. While it is true that belonging to a church is important for Christian life, it remains only a part of our life with God. Just because you are a member of a church does not mean you are a member of the body of Christ. But if you are a member of the body of Christ, you have the ability to have fellowship with anyone on the earth who also has the Holy Spirit inside them. A test often used is the man who was crucified along with Jesus our Lord. He accepted Jesus while dying next to Him. He had no time to be baptized. He was unable to join a church. His salvation was secured by turning to Jesus for forgiveness. Because God dwells in us by His Spirit, we are in the body of Christ. “We are members, one of another.” So why church and why are there so many denominations?

Membership means different things to different people. Being a member of any group or cause usually means a commitment. One pledges time, attendance, finances. One commits to a charter, a constitution, a doctrine. Any established group or institute has rules, by-laws, traditions, or rituals. What binds members together is a contract or agreement to act and speak in unison on set principles and beliefs. It is assumed that a member is of an age to be able to decide and commit to the aims of the organization. The member is in all likelihood old enough to understand what is expected of him or her. The idea of being born into an organization does not make sense.

We became members of the body of Christ when we got born again. If in the next moment we died, we’d go to be with the One who just saved us. If, however, we live on this earth for the next 50 years then scripture teaches us that, as believers in God, as members of His Body, we are to “live to Him.” Peter wrote, “since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of persons ought we to be in lives of holiness and godliness?” Our Christian life as shown in scripture has some rather obvious aspects to it. First, we were born of the Spirit. We are God’s children. He is our Father. We are stones built into His Temple. We are branches attached to His vine. We are sheep. He is our Shepherd. We are members of His body. When we became Christians, we became these things in Christ. Before us, the Apostles became these things. Jesus told Peter that He would build his church upon this rock. I will not go into what that means only to say that Jesus our Lord was going to build this thing called a church. The Holy Spirit instructed the apostles about this “church.” They themselves were apostles. They enrolled Mathias as an apostle. Paul was set apart by the Holy Spirit to be an apostle to the gentiles. Paul spoke of apostles, prophets, teachers, , elders, deacons, workers of miracles, healers, all operating in the body of Christ. The local body of believers wanted the apostles to serve tables and so the apostles chose 7 brothers for this duty one of whom was Stephen, the first martyr. In the early days of the Christian church in Jerusalem, brothers and sisters sold their property and gave the proceeds to the apostles. Paul, aside from spiritual instruction, also collected money for the relief of the poor and for the saints in other local churches.

There were Christian churches in the time of the apostles. They were distinct, local, bodies of believers. Paul wrote to the believers in Rome, to the Corinthians, the Galatians, the Ephesians, the Philippians, the church at Colossae. In Revelation to John the Spirit spoke to the seven churches that were in Asia. These churches and the churches Paul wrote to had specific strengths and weaknesses. It is my opinion that these were not different denominations in the body of Christ. I do not think Paul or the Spirit was acknowledging differences and problems as a means of enhancing a doctrine or denomination. These separate local churches were Christian and I think that their practice of Christianity was uniform. I think denominations came later. This is a guess on my part. What is significant about divisions today and distinctions today in the body of Christ is that they do not exist for the same reasons they existed at the time of the apostles. There is the problem with the Corinthians pledging their loyalty to various apostles and elders in 1 Corinthians 1-3. Paul discouraged this. “Is Christ divided?” Denomination is a difficult subject for me and it requires more thought before writing.

Today’s Christian churches, generally speaking, demonstrate the church model found in scripture. Yes there are abuses and exceptions but most Christian churches have an overseer, bishop, or pastor. They have elders who hold their pastor accountable. They teach the bible. Specific doctrines based on their understanding of the bible distinguish them from other Christian churches so we have denominations. What stops me from worshipping God with a Pentecostal and a southern Baptist? Why can’t I become a member of any Christian church today? I have the Holy Spirit. If they are Christians in a Christian church, then why can’t I just walk in and worship? Let me start to answer this with some self exposure.

What always seems to happen when I enter a church building to attend a church service in the hope of finding a “church home”? I get feelings and thoughts. I form judgments. I’m critical. In a matter of minutes I have made judgments I shouldn’t have made: what kind of church this is, how much money is being spent where and on what? Is it clean, was I greeted, were the greeters phony, why do they have greeters? Then I sit down and look at people’s clothes and who is with whom. What is the general economic class attending? Are they sincere or are they nominal? Why is the sanctuary so big, why is it so small? Why did they spend so much on lights and sound equipment? They don’t need a Jumbo-tron! Why is the stage so big? Why do they have a stage? Where is the stage? Where is the pulpit? Why is the pulpit made of glass, wood, steel? There are too many flowers, not enough flowers, or the right kind of flowers. How much were the flowers? Were they donated? Then the music starts. It’s too loud. It’s too soft. The musicians aren’t very good. The worship leader thinks he’s a rock star. The worship leader needs to stop being a wimp. The songs are too worldly. I wish they would stop rock-a-fying hymns. I wish they would stop singing hymns. What kinds of songs are these?

People are talking during the worship. They should stop. They are not serious about the worship. They just come to church to socialize. I can’t worship with these people! Okay, finally the music is over. Now we can sit down. Here comes the pastor. How long before he actually opens the bible? Is he going to tell a funny story before he opens the bible? Why is he so happy? He must not be suffering. Paul suffered and had daily anxiety about the churches. He’s probably not doing his job. Okay, the bible. Here’s the message. Okay, I can see that. That makes sense. That checks out. Okay, message was okay. I probably could have done a better job. Now they take the offering. This part always seems weird. Okay, one more song and then the send off.

Some of my thoughts, observations, and criticisms are true, real, worthy of consideration. But I am also telling on myself. I realized a few Sundays ago that I could not possibly worship God in most churches today because I was too busy judging everyone else and everything else rather than focusing on God. My problem is partly because I was raised a Catholic, partly because, humanly speaking, I am judgmental, and partly because I was in an extreme group which cut its teeth on being critical of “other” Christians. We judged ourselves, each other, and Christians outside our group. For most ex-members of Cobu, our ability to “fellowship” with other Christians was corrupted by someone who did not want contact with “other” Christians. We ex-members find it hard to “fit in” or belong to a church for the simple reason that we were taught and trained not to belong to any other group but Cobu. There are examples today of ex-members who not only have trouble with other Christians but problems with ex-members who have moved on and have fellowship with non-cobu Christians. These ex-members create little groups for themselves consisting of ex-cobu brothers and sisters who agree with their “new” teaching or treatment of Christianity. This is a common problem for some ex-members. Our experience with the bible was tainted. Our experience with the idea of “church” was tainted. We leave Cobu and we find that the rest of the Christians on the planet don’t do “church” like we did and we don’t fit in as long as we hold onto a shred of Traillism. Part of this view was formed by our idea of “commitment.”

Commitment

One of the reasons we ex-members of Cobu are reluctant to join a church is what we perceive to be a serious lack of commitment to Jesus on the part of the attendees of today’s Christian church, more specifically, today’s American Christian church. What was one of Traill’s main beliefs upon which he founded the FF? Was it not that the “other” Christians at the time were “playing church?” They were not serious about their commitment to Jesus but were into “playing games” with the truth. Traill offered serious, “fully there” commitment to Jesus, no games. The American culture at the time was a perfect atmosphere for anyone to offer an alternative to the establishment. Young people in the late 60’s early 70’s were looking for the real to replace the fake. Many groups sprung up during this time and Traill took advantage of the trend. The key to his success and the degree of our personal damage can be tied to our level of commitment to him and to his group.

Remember the teaching and the thinking: “You could go to another church or fellowship but you’d be backsliding because you would be joining a church with a lesser calling, a lower level of commitment and God knows this.” Cobu’s commitment to Jesus was 24/7. We lived in our church. Who else can boast of such a commitment? From morning to till, well, morning, we were fully there for Jesus. Nobody studied the bible as much as we did. Nobody “witnessed” as much as we did. Nobody attended service as much as we did. And no other church had a pastor who understood the bible like our pastor. All together we were the most committed Christians in America, right? Who was better than us?

Now take this mind set with you as you leave Cobu to look for Christians with whom you wish to have fellowship. Do you see the problem? We fail before we begin if we do not first recognize the effects of Traill’s corruption. Once we identify and weed out every last growth of Traillism, then we are able to join a local body of believers and not have to fight off the voices and the ghosts of the past.

Church Shopping

Aside from Cobu and the baggage we accumulated, there is still what we look for in a church and why. I have heard the language “God led me to this church.” For most of the time since leaving Cobu, I have joined or attended a church with two things in mind: the soundness of the teaching and then my various personal preferences. If the teaching was sound I was willing to keep my preferences and criticisms to myself. I did have to fight all the junk I learned in Cobu when I first got out. Over the years I have recognized what was Traillism, what was of God, or what was me just being me. God gave me and you the power to join our fellow members of the body of Christ and worship in spirit and in truth.

Commitment is vital to us when it is a commitment to Jesus himself. Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 1-3 and denounced their loyalty to him, to Apollos, and to Cephas. Commitment to Jesus first and only is reflected in the various metaphoric identities: we are branches, we are sheep, we are stones. We are priests, we are body parts. Our identity defines our “togetherness” but more importantly it identifies our source for life: Him. Branches not attached to the vine, die. Sheep not in the fold are likely to be killed or die without the care of the Shepherd. A hand cannot exist without being attached to the body. I will repeat myself again because this point is crucial to remember. Traill made his group the source of life instead of Jesus. He ascribed the attributes of Jesus to his group. Even worse, he tried to make himself out to be something more than a pastor. Church is important for the believer but it is not a replacement or equal to our life in Jesus. Richard Wurmbrand was in prison and away from “church” for 14 years but he never ceased to be a member of the body of Christ all that time.

Have you church shopped since leaving Cobu? Have you looked for a church to join? Was it difficult? Is it difficult now? My own experience was rocky. When I first got out of Cobu I did not want to be a Christian and did not join anything. I did not believe I could be faithful away from Cobu being reminded internally of the old teaching daily. After a near death experience I rededicated my life to Jesus. Very quickly I knew I needed to find strength in God because I was alone and weak. I went to Church on the Way in Van Nuys, CA. I asked brothers there about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. They gave me a book. I read it and then went home and prayed and was baptized in the Holy Spirit. This was a great blessing to me and I have never been the same ever since. Days later I was reading my bible at a bus stop and a sister in Christ noticed me. She invited me to her church. I went. I attended this very small church until I moved from Los Angeles to Davis, CA. I had attended Jack Hayford’s church a few times but left after I heard him open a service with a poetic but unscriptural reference to the Holy Spirit. Looking back I was overly sensitive and critical of Pastor Hayford about his use of poetry. It was his book “Anointed By the King” that I read to understand the baptism of the Holy Spirit. In this sister’s church I rose quickly in the ranks and became a youth pastor trainee. The church was pastored by a brother who worked in China with Brother Andrew. My Cobu training and my “bible understanding” impressed everyone there. At least that’s what I thought.

In Davis, I went to my brother Dave’s Baptist Church. I repeated the same pattern. I got involved and gunned for a leadership position. I burned out before I got anywhere. For the next several years I attended churches and tried my best to become a leader. It soon became clear that I had not dealt with the damage I had incurred from Traill and his corruption of the truth. When I started the web page in 1998 I just wanted contact with ex-members. I soon found that many I talked to were going through or went through the same kinds of things I was dealing with. I was then prompted to go against my training and thought processes to find the truth about Traill and his ideas about Christianity. After years of digging and interviewing those who were there, I formed some conclusions. I now have a clear picture of Traill and I have a fairly clear view of how he warped the things of God for his own gain. This was a necessary step in my healing.

We now come to present day. I am a Christian and most of you are Christians. I attend a church and you attend church as well. It is complicated and simple for ex-members to belong to a local body of believers. We are able to draw near to God because of the Holy Spirit. We do find it difficult to “trust” others, “trust” leadership for obvious reasons. Our “togetherness” our “fellowship” experience was corrupted. To repeat an earlier point because we were Christians in Cobu, our time there was not a complete waste of time. We did experience fellowship in the Holy Spirit. We did worship the Lord there. To crudely say that Cobu was a complete waste of time and that there was no benefit or no spiritual growth while inside would be to deny what God our Father promised us, His children. We would be saying that God stopped His faithfulness to us and His love for us and then started loving us again only when we got out of Cobu.

The baggage we each carry into a “church” situation varies from person to person. Some ex-members found a healthy church a short time after leaving Cobu and they have been in good fellowship ever since. Others have gone on to become pastors and teachers, authors and apologists. I have described my baggage already. I have been, since I was very young, a critical person. I have always been an insecure person, a self-centered, selfish person. God saved me and put His Spirit inside me and has taught me in scripture and led me by His Spirit to join with other believers to worship. This is just true for me and other Christians. We are “called out” and called to togetherness. How we do the “church” thing is, in my mind divided into two areas: The household of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

Church and Fellowship

The nuts and bolts of how we get together, when we get together, who’s in charge; that’s all in Paul’s letters to Titus, Timothy, to the Corinthians, and to the Romans. From scripture we understand that there are qualifications for pastors, bishops, elders, overseers, deacons, ministers. We see that tithes are collected. We see in scripture that the church takes the Lord’s supper together, prays together, sings together, supports those who “get their living by the gospel.” But I look at the structure of the church as different from what we experience with one to another while in a physical location together. Keith Green once joked that going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s makes you a hamburger. The set up of the church is scriptural and necessary. It is not entirely like a vehicle or container for the real reason we are together.

When one becomes a member of a church, he or she is agreeing to believe in the doctrines that that specific church holds. Here we see a mix of the nuts and bolts with the various fluids. Confused? Sorry. What I mean is, a church believes that there should be a pastor, deacons, elders, tithing, service, charity, good works. Most churches agree on the practices and structure as modeled and taught in scripture. The distinctions come when we get into the doctrines a church holds. I have said before and am willing to accept correction for this. I think there is first a doctrine based on scripture or based on the understanding of certain scripture. After the doctrine comes the division. Some believe in handling snakes and others don’t so the church divides. If the division remains long enough it becomes a denomination. If the doctrine is too out of the mainstream then the denomination may choose to ex-communicate or dis-fellowship the adherents of the aberrant doctrine.

Another example of doctrinal-driven division came up on line recently: infant baptism. I happen to know of a pastor who split off from a major denomination because he could not accept the “infant baptism” doctrine. Now think about this. You are no longer going to a physical place and worship the Lord because the pastor and the leadership believe in a doctrine and they insist you believe in this doctrine as well. This is a real problem and it makes me think: when is it time to cut and run? When should a believer leave a church? What is a good reason to depart? This goes to my problem earlier about judging a church to the ground and not wanting to continue with a church for all the reasons I gave. There are good reasons to leave a church. I want to spiritualize my preferences and claim that they are good reasons for breaking ties. If there is heresy in the pulpit, it is one’s duty to speak up. If the elders do not correct or remove the pastor then it is time to leave that church. If there is misconduct in the household of God and it persists unchecked then this is a good reason to leave. If I am not a leader but a lay person in the church, it is my duty to bring misconduct or heresy to the attention of the leadership. If they do not stop or dismiss the error then I think I am no longer bound to attend that church.

When I consider church history (I know very little) and how our brethren behaved in the past when it came to heresy and heretical practices, I do see that there is a time to disagree and a time to divide. Today most Christian churches agree on the most important doctrines and teaching in the New Testament. The difference between the churches cannot be easily listed here. Catholics deify Mary and Protestants do not. Pentecostals believe that the gifts of the Spirit are for today while Presbyterians are on the fence about it. Infant baptism. Sprinkling or submersion? All were baptized in the Spirit when they were born again. All Christians are born again but Baptism of the Spirit is different and distinct. The early Christians had to deal with the Gnostics, with the Circumcision party. Divisions became denominations and all in the name of following God in some specific “true” way. Even without our Cobu-warping, finding a healthy church is difficult.

What does one look for in a church? It is true that it is important to our life with God to “be with others.” Think about the new commandment Jesus gave in John 13. “A new commandment I give you that you love one another.” How can you love someone if you do not first locate yourself near enough to them to actually love them? James wrote “what does it profit to say ‘go , be warmed and filled’ without giving the things necessary for the body.” It is assumed, implied, or directly instructed in scripture that we “get together” serve one another, assemble. Christians are born into a spiritual family. We are brought into an intimate relationship with Jesus. Jesus died on the cross for “others.” He gave His life for us.

When looking for a church to attend, I focus on what the pastor preaches. I am looking for sound teaching. I am looking for teaching that is the gospel. I am looking for the pastor to address sin honestly, our condition, accurately. I have learned over the years to not let music choices bother me. How big or nice a church is, I can overlook. I look for soundness of doctrine and spirit. I think that some of what bothers me about a church is just my preferences not being met. I realize that what I want in a church just might be what I am comfortable with. The other extreme is to go to a church that is a torment to attend in the name of “suffering” or eating my spiritual vegetables. The scripture, 2Timothy 4:3 “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching but having itching ears, they will accumulate teachers to suit their own liking” cuts both ways for me. On the one hand, I would like to hear teaching that makes me feel good, that tells me I’m okay. On the other hand, I have my cobu experience which was the exact opposite. In order “not to play games with the truth” I sign up for “brutally honest” abuse because in my heart I know I’m scum and Jesus is just barely tolerating me. It is important to rely on the Spirit to help you find a healthy church. Pray and be honest with God about all your misgivings and get wisdom and counsel from Him.

Is there a true church? I would say yes but I would not call it a church. When the Lord Jesus comes “He will gather His elect from the 4 winds, from one end of heaven to the other.” He will come for His Bride. He will gather the wheat from the tares. He will separate the sheep from the goats. The true church is made up of believers all over the earth. Only God knows those who belong to Him. This is why I separate the word church from fellowship. We have church locations by the thousands in America and in the tens of thousands in the world. Knowing this, one can see how laughable ST and his little idea of a true church was and how sad it now is. When we Christians think in terms of denominations or churches and have an unhealthy loyalty to a charter or doctrine, we limit our ability to fellowship with other members of the Body of Christ.

A local church is necessary to facilitate worship, fellowship, and service. When a pastor becomes more than his job description, when a church or denomination becomes more than its function, then we fall into idolatry. “I belong to Paul, I belong to Cephas.” “We are disciples of Moses.” Another problem that churches face is the business side of worship.

The Church Business

This aspect of our churches today has always bothered me. Let me start off by saying that I do not like this part of the church structure but then I have never been in charge of the money, unless you count being a money handler in Cobu. You are aware of all the scripture and no doubt have been preached to and taught for years about tithing and giving. I want to look at what is true and what is wrong with some churches with regard to money. I state here openly that this is my own opinion based on my own observations. I do not pretend to know the hearts, minds of any church leader or the design of every church in America and so I am not dispensing universal truth when I comment here.

We can agree that the church should exist. We Christians are called into a relationship with God and called to a relationship with each other. There are instructions in the New Testament on how we organize our togetherness. In the Old Testament the members of the tribe of Levi were ordained by God to be priests. The tribe of Levi were not given a parcel in the Promised Land but were supported by God and the people for their living. Likewise, in the New Testament those who minister, those who pastor the flock of God are supported by God and the people of God. A full-time pastor who does full-time work should be able to “get his living by the gospel.” When Jesus and the 12 went about in ministry, they kept a money box. The people contributed to their living. This money was also used for relief of the poor. Churches need money to operate. From this reality all kinds of problems arise because we are human.

We have the benefit of our experience in Cobu to note the improper use of church money. We also understand what happens when a pastor is motivated to grow his church regardless of whether God is pleased and honored or not. Leaving Cobu aside, what about some churches today? We have heard of the seeker friendly church which is designed not to scare the unsaved. I understand the intent but I can see the flaws too. May I generalize by saying that seeker friendly churches are weak on the idea of sin, judgment, hell, and they make it nearly impossible for the Holy Spirit to convict unbelievers of their condition? Jesus wasn’t seeker friendly. He was love. He was truth. He was grace. Christian life that is sold seeker friendly modifies or corrupts the message of the cross. For some churches, attendance means money. Attendance means success. It’s normal human thinking but it is not the Spirit of God. Jesus preached the good news. He spoke to crowds of people; multitudes. By the time he was done on one occasion everyone got up and headed for the exits. Jesus was left with only the 12. I understand the idea of leading a church and defining success by the size of the body and the number of programs and ministries but I think that this kind of thinking is not of God. Pastors are called to tell the truth. They are called to be Christ-like to the flock. The prophets of old were not concerned nor should they have been concerned with whether or not those to whom they were sent listened and heeded their words. Paul said, If I were still pleasing men, I should not be a servant of Christ.

Watering down the gospel will pack the pews but will lead astray many. I am not saying that pastors need to scare the congregation every week or be disgraceful to drive the flock away by “truth telling.” I am saying that I believe God will give the pastor or teacher the words and messages the sons and daughters of God need to know to draw closer to Him. Yes, some messages will be hard to hear. The gospel undiluted is powerful and convicting and is salvation to the soul. Preachers who cater to the flesh of men will reap men of the flesh.

Why are churches large? Why are there mega-churches, mega-buildings, mega-ministries? Just asking. I think to take my own medicine and remain consistent I must go back to the heart. When I go back to the heart I can understand lots of things and not have to understand “everything.” Okay, the mega-church. Who built it? Who decided to build it? Who agreed to support it? Why did they agree to support it? What was in the heart of the leadership? What was in the heart of the members? What is the fruit or result of such an undertaking? I cannot answer any of these questions because I do not know the heart of any of the people involved. What is required of me? What am I suppose to do or say?

The “Right” Way to “Do” Church?”

This brings me to my dream sequence. What if I were in charge of a flock? What if I started a group? Already the buzzer should be going off in the heads of every ex-member who just read this. First of all, my starting a group or any ex-member starting a group is already suspect. Why? For crying out loud, look where we all came from? What questions would you have for me if I were starting a group and invited you to attend? You see how reasonable it is to vet or test those seeking the office of bishop? Obvious questions spring to the mind of ex-members about ex-members starting anything. Why did Paul write standards for Bishops and Deacons? There are standards because one is a Christian and one is also a human being. A church needs to know if the person they are appointing for leadership meets the standards Paul wrote and these standards can only be met by someone who is in Christ, living for Christ, and bearing fruit that confirms that they are living a godly life and are trustworthy. Not just anyone can stand up and say, “Hey, I’m going to start a church.” Still, we know that at least one person did and got away with not being tested according to the bible for 43 years.

But to my dream: okay , what would a church look like if I were in charge, if I could set it up the way I think it should be. Right there, I am divided into the scriptural and my preferences. Let me elaborate. I think a church should max out at between 150 members to 300. A large church, I believe is too hard to pastor. I think the needs of the flock will not completely be met when a church is too big.. I think some Christians do themselves harm by hiding in a large congregation and not really participating in the true fellowship the church may provide.

I think the music in service should not be a show. I think the music ministers should not “amp up” the crowd like they are at some kind of rock concert. I think that there should be a different speaker each week and I think that the congregation needs to be more involved in the actual worship service. Now I would like to turn to scripture and consider what a “church service” or assembly might have looked like in the early church. If you think about what sells, what is comfortable, what is seeker friendly, or “What do I want” then you will fashion a church not based in truth but based in everything but. If you are looking for a church for these various reasons and motivations you will certainly find a church but you will not be worshipping in spirit and in truth. There is a difficulty with my dream church. What if you don’t find a church that is “doing it the right way?” What I mean is, I can dream all day and look all week for a church that meets my description of perfection and not find it. What do I do then? What did you do? I do have my answer but let me get to it in a just a bit.

The way Paul wrote to the Corinthians about what they did when they met together gives us a glimpse into “what they were doing wrong” and what they should have been doing when meeting together. You will recall the correction about the taking of communion, the Lord’s supper. What we get from this is that the early church needed to “wait for one another” and also “commemorate the Lord’s death until He comes.” We also learn that each person who takes the Lord’s supper must be a Christian. I can think of all the times I heard the Lord’s supper offered to non-believers as a precursor to their accepting Jesus. I have also seen the Lord’s supper given at weddings. I will not address this error right now. Paul also speaks of examining oneself before taking communion. Some took the Lord’s supper in an unworthy manner and suffered consequences.

Paul also wrote to the Corinthians about the order the church should exercise when assembled. The Corinthian church was willed by the Holy Spirit to have gifts of prophecy and gifts of tongues. We can surmise by Paul’s correction that the assembly was in chaos with prophets prophesying and speakers in various kinds of tongues going on out loud with no one to interpret. 1 Cor 14:26-33a:

26 What then, brethren? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification.27If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn; and let one interpret. 28But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silence in church and speak to himself and to God. 29Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. 30If a revelation is made to another sitting by, let the first be silent. 31For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged; 32and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets. 33For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

This is instruction for believers when assembled to use their gifts to edify the church, in an orderly manner. But I was more taken by the opening lines in this paragraph. Paul said that when the Corinthians “came together, each had a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Yes they needed organizing but consider, it was the attendees of the “church” that brought something to the worship service. One does not get the impression that the Corinthians filed into a building, sat down, and waited for the music to start. They weren’t waiting for one guy to then give them a sermon and then go home. May I suggest that today’s church model would be better, more in keeping with scripture if the members of the body were just as much involved in the worship of God as their music minister and pastor.

I would like a church where we are led in songs of worship but we are the choir, the singers, the musicians. Special music is fine but often it turns into a Sunday show rather than a time to come together to worship. The early church model does not throw all the power and responsibility on the front of the room but calls all believers who are assembled to worship God. I think there might be less pastor burn out if everyone had a hymn, a lesson, or a revelation.

I thought of this part of the writing only after I finished. All this time talking about church and the many concepts and practices tied to the subject and I failed to talk about worship itself which is one of the main reasons we gather together. What I mean is, we get together for a message, for music, for socializing and for actual fellowship but the main thing we do corporately is gather in His name to worship him. I would title this part or subtitle this part, "The Verbs and Adverbs of Worship." My reasoning is this. As I said before church is an agreement to meet. We agree on the place. We agree on what we believe we are doing when we get together. I haven't really talked about the verbs of worship much. When we get together we sing. Whether or not we sing TO THE LORD is a matter of the heart. When we get together, the pastor speaks to us. We agree to allot him time to bring something that he believes God wants us to hear. We contribute money at a given time in the service. Now, in some of these verbs there is room for style and preference. This is one of the reasons why some people go to your church and others do not. It's not so much what you believe about God (doctrine) but how people in your church behave. For example, some hold their hands up when they sing. Some hold them out. Some find the hands thing distracting. Others believe it is not proper or that the person doing it is "practicing their piety before men." Church leadership I think has always had a hard time controlling or setting policy on behavior during worship because of the defense they face. "Don't quench the Spirit." "The Spirit led me to run onto the stage and raise my hands." This kind of thing reminds me of Paul's admonition that everything be done decently and in order." Are people wrong for lifting their hands? Are they wrong for using their gifts in the congregation? What if someone has a word of prophecy in the midst of a congregation that does not believe the gifts are for today? The doctrinally based practices are harder to correct or control.

What is the answer to all this? Very hard to simplify. I speak in tongues but I do not know any interpreters so I am instructed to keep silent in the congregation. What about prophecy? The spirit of the prophets are subject to the prophets. They have control over their mouth. The idea that the Spirit would override someone's will and just light him up in church is not scriptural and it is not the Spirit of God. I have gone to charismatic churches that allow for people to laugh, almost uncontrollably, during worship. Scripture has been quoted to me to support such behavior. It does not wash. We have a spirit of power, love, and self control. What we do as individuals when we are together affects the body. What is Paul's overall lesson for some of the verbs we verb during worship? Let all things be done for edification. How is anyone edified by someone laughing their head off so loudly in the midst of the assembled that they only serve to draw attention to themselves and distract from our worship of God?

My guess is that each church must set policy as Paul did about "how" we worship, what kinds of verbs are acceptable in the assembly. I did mention adverbs of worship and I think that this goes to the heart. We can get all our actions correct and scriptural when we get together but have no heart when we worship. We go through the motions. I think the adverbs of worship tell us more about our heart. We pray, but do we pray intensely, fervently, dramatically, silently? When we sing, do we sing passionately, lovingly, worshipfully (if that's a word)? When we put on a show for those around us, praying or singing, loudly, then we just might be guilty of practicing piety to be seen. I cannot judge anyone. Each person knows why he or she is in church and knows why he or she is doing what he or she is doing every moment they are in the congregation. I do not like it when the music minister tries to whip up the crowd into singing. There's something false about it and it usually encourages a false response. The verb is the outside of the cup. The adverb is the inside of the cup. We who are outside cannot judge another person. We may mistake loudness for passion, silence for depression. Remember Samuel's mother pouring out her soul to God, only moving her lips but uttering no sound. The priest thought she was drunk. To wrap up this insert, we would do well in church to encourage and edify each other with first a heart of worship for God and then an extension of mercy to those who are struggling in their own way to come to God and meet with other Christians.

As for what Christians do in a church based on their own understanding of scripture, again, we are called into worship. We are called to assemble. I think it would be humble to accept the practices of the church that the church leaders have agreed are scriptural. When any Christian or any church leader goes outside of scripture then steps need to be taken to address the person. The authority to dismiss a pastor is with the elders or a church board. I think the pastor and the board have the authority to excommunicate a member. My guess is that each church has by-laws that are unique to their body and when one becomes a member, he or she is agreeing to abide by these by-laws.

Finding the Faithful

We are new creations in Christ but we sometimes don’t act like it. We want to worship the Lord and we want to do this in a way that pleases God and with others. Yes, we church shop with perhaps two lines of motivation running parallel. We want the worship and the church to be true and sound and we want our preferences met. This is the lesson I was taught recently and it is hard for me to do without God’s help. Without repeating myself, I come to church with baggage and hang-ups. I come with preferences. I come as a child of God seeking to worship God with others. What if I cannot find the perfect church? What if I cannot find the perfect fit? We all go through this or have gone through this. The lesson is even hard for me to write down but let me try. I need to overlook obvious mistakes, errors, misconduct, and be, myself, faithful to God in worship. Yes, there are people in front of me talking all through the songs and sipping their Starbucks. I think they are wrong for doing this but they will face God for their conduct. I will face God for paying attention to them in church and not worshipping the Lord in the assembly. In a congregation there are many members who are there for the wrong reason but there are those who are there for the purpose of worship. In my piece “What is Fellowship” I write about what true fellowship is and how it occurs in church but that it is not church. We as believers need to first be faithful to God in worship and we will then have fellowship with and find the other faithful in the midst of the congregation.

How church is set up, the style of things, the programs, the order of things; all you will find in a regular American Christian church. You will also find Christians who accept the set up because it facilitates the main reason we come together: to worship God.

Authority

I have already written somewhere a paragraph or two on church authority. I will try and nutshell it here as I am way over the time limit for this little get-together. In church we do have people in charge. This is not unique to the people of God. Jesus spoke and contrasted the way the ungodly exercise authority and the way He wills us to be. “Whoever who would be first among you, must be last of all and a slave of all.” We who were in Cobu got a godless man’s interpretation of an idea in scripture of a leader. Stewart was harsh from the beginning of his group. He did not meet New Testament standards to even hold the office he took. He was not tested by those over him in the faith. For Traill, the New Testament church model for pastors and for the congregation did not apply because he was some kind of Elijah or Moses. We ex-members find other ex-members exhibiting the same pride and free-lance behavior. Traill founded the FF partly in opposition to the established churches of the time. He passed this contempt on to us. It seems as though some ex-members who aspire to the office of bishop don’t actually want to be tested for the job. Let’s look at the scripture and see what Paul wrote to Titus and Timothy with regard to those in the household of God who desired to be leaders:

1 Timothy 3 1 The saying is sure: If any one aspires to the office of bishop, he desires a noble task. 2 Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, 3 no drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way; 5 for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God's church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil; 7 moreover he must be well thought of by outsiders, or he may fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 8 Deacons likewise must be serious, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for gain; 9 they must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 And let them also be tested first; then if they prove themselves blameless let them serve as deacons. 11 The women likewise must be serious, no slanderers, but temperate, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons be the husband of one wife, and let them manage their children and their households well; 13 for those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith which is in Christ Jesus. 14 I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these instructions to you so that, 15 if I am delayed, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth. 16 Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of our religion:

Here is the Titus passage:

5 This is why I left you in Crete, that you might amend what was defective, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you, 6 if any man is blameless, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of being profligate or insubordinate. 7 For a bishop, as God's steward, must be blameless; he must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of goodness, master of himself, upright, holy, and self-controlled; 9 he must hold firm to the sure word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to confute those who contradict it.

Reading this always reminds me of Traill’s lack of qualifications but more important it shows me that there are standards and measures in scripture for church leadership. I have said this before. Right now I do not qualify for leadership. It drives part of me nuts but I also find grace and a sense of relief. Right now in my Christian life I am learning service. I am learning to be a servant. This hurts my pride but it also destroys the worldly definition of leadership I used to believe. Godly leadership does not come in late to the congregation with an entourage. Godly leadership is willing to arrive early and help set up chairs. Godly leadership does not orate for hours and expect no question or opposition but it demonstrates the wisdom from above (James).

Once someone is tested then approved, appointed, or ordained, then he is given by God, authority. Bishops and Deacons gain a confidence and a standing in the faith. The congregation in obedience to God’s word obeys God by submitting to the authority God has vested in church leadership. Humans handle authority in all sorts of ways. I need not go into the sins of political leaders or the sins of those who misunderstand authority and how they respond to it. I do think it is helpful to look at what Peter wrote:

1So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ as well as a partaker in the glory that is to be revealed. 2Tend the flock of God that is your charge, not by constraint but willingly, not for shameful gain but eagerly,3not as domineering over those in your charge but being examples to the flock. 4And when the chief Shepherd is manifested you will obtain the unfading crown of glory.

Why did Peter write this? Because these are the temptations of leadership and authority. If anyone of us aspires to church leadership we must first be tested by elders, a committee of brothers, by those already in authority. If we pass the test, then we lead being careful not to be domineering, not to lead by constraint, and not for shameful gain. My last word on leadership is accountability.

Hebrews 13:7 and 17

17 Obey your leaders and submit to them; for they are keeping watch over your souls, as men who will have to give account. Let them do this joyfully, and not sadly, for that would be of no advantage to you.

The first scripture is similar to Paul saying, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Leaders are leaders for a reason. My opinion is that they are mature in the faith, steadfast, and so God does approve of us following their lead and imitating them because they are actually giving us an earthly example of “how to” be a Christian. The extreme again is cultic. Paul was not asking for the Corinthians to pledge undue loyalty to him: “I belong to Paul.” He was telling Christians to imitate him because he was imitating Christ. Healthy Christians leaders who teach sound doctrine always point to Christ, always!

The second scripture is a view into the responsibility of leadership. They have a job description. There are measures for them and they will give account to God for their conduct in leadership. James3:1 Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, for you know that we who teach shall be judged with greater strictness.” Those who are over us in the faith are different than us. They meet standards which distinguish them. They have authority from God which positions them. They will give account to God and will be judged with respect to the office they hold. It is a blessing, I’m sure, to be a servant of God in the capacity of bishop, elder, deacon, overseer, pastor, or teacher. Those who hold these offices gain a confidence and a standing that the rest of the members of the congregation do not enjoy. But they also have a vital responsibility to be righteous in their leadership. Consider what Peter wrote about the false teacher:

2 Peter 2 1 But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. 2 And many will follow their licentiousness, and because of them the way of truth will be reviled. 3 And in their greed they will exploit you with false words; from of old their condemnation has not been idle, and their destruction has not been asleep. 4 For if God did not spare the angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to pits of nether gloom to be kept until the judgment; 5 if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven other persons, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly; 6 if by turning the cities of Sodom and Gomor'rah to ashes he condemned them to extinction and made them an example to those who were to be ungodly; 7 and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the licentiousness of the wicked 8 (for by what that righteous man saw and heard as he lived among them, he was vexed in his righteous soul day after day with their lawless deeds), 9 then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trial, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment, 10 and especially those who indulge in the lust of defiling passion and despise authority. Bold and willful, they are not afraid to revile the glorious ones, 11 whereas angels, though greater in might and power, do not pronounce a reviling judgment upon them before the Lord. 12 But these, like irrational animals, creatures of instinct, born to be caught and killed, reviling in matters of which they are ignorant, will be destroyed in the same destruction with them, 13 suffering wrong for their wrongdoing. They count it pleasure to revel in the daytime. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their dissipation, carousing with you. 14 They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls. They have hearts trained in greed. Accursed children! 15 Forsaking the right way they have gone astray; they have followed the way of Balaam, the son of Be'or, who loved gain from wrongdoing, 16 but was rebuked for his own transgression; a dumb ass spoke with human voice and restrained the prophet's madness. 17 These are waterless springs and mists driven by a storm; for them the nether gloom of darkness has been reserved. 18 For, uttering loud boasts of folly, they entice with licentious passions of the flesh men who have barely escaped from those who live in error. 19 They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption; for whatever overcomes a man, to that he is enslaved. 20 For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overpowered, the last state has become worse for them than the first. 21 For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. 22 It has happened to them according to the true proverb, The dog turns back to his own vomit, and the sow is washed only to wallow in the mire.

And in Jude

Jude 1 1 Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and brother of James, To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: 2 May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you. 3 Beloved, being very eager to write to you of our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. 4 For admission has been secretly gained by some who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly persons who pervert the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. 5 Now I desire to remind you, though you were once for all fully informed, that he who saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. 6 And the angels that did not keep their own position but left their proper dwelling have been kept by him in eternal chains in the nether gloom until the judgment of the great day; 7 just as Sodom and Gomor'rah and the surrounding cities, which likewise acted immorally and indulged in unnatural lust, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire. 8 Yet in like manner these men in their dreamings defile the flesh, reject authority, and revile the glorious ones. 9 But when the archangel Michael, contending with the devil, disputed about the body of Moses, he did not presume to pronounce a reviling judgment upon him, but said, "The Lord rebuke you." 10 But these men revile whatever they do not understand, and by those things that they know by instinct as irrational animals do, they are destroyed. 11 Woe to them! For they walk in the way of Cain, and abandon themselves for the sake of gain to Balaam's error, and perish in Korah's rebellion. 12 These are blemishes on your love feasts, as they boldly carouse together, looking after themselves; waterless clouds, carried along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted; 13 wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars for whom the nether gloom of darkness has been reserved for ever. 14 It was of these also that Enoch in the seventh generation from Adam prophesied, saying, "Behold, the Lord came with his holy myriads, 15 to execute judgment on all, and to convict all the ungodly of all their deeds of ungodliness which they have committed in such an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against him." 16 These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own passions, loud-mouthed boasters, flattering people to gain advantage. 17 But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ; 18 they said to you, "In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions." 19 It is these who set up divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. 20 But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; 21 keep yourselves in the love of God; wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. 22 And convince some, who doubt; 23 save some, by snatching them out of the fire; on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment spotted by the flesh. 24 Now to him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you without blemish before the presence of his glory with rejoicing, 25 to the only God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and for ever. Amen.

We did not test Stewart at the beginning. We did not question him during his tenure. We left his group and those still there will not dismiss him. If you are a Christian, I urge you, when you pray, to pray for Stewart’s repentance. He will face God according to scripture for what he has done in office. The standards apply to him. The strict judgment applies to him. He will give account as the scripture says. Pray for those still inside Cobu that they would be do the will of God by upholding scripture with regard to church leadership.

A quick word on what church leadership has instruction and authority to do and what we in Cobu thought everyone in Cobu should do. I had a hunch and so I pulled out my Nelson’s RSV concordance. The words Rebuke, Reprove, Correct, and Correction appear very little in the New Testament. There is a concentration of some of these words in Paul’s letter to Timothy. It occurred to me that the correcting, rebuking, and reproving is the responsibility of the church leaders: Bishops, pastors, elders. We who are not in leadership have our instructions too. We are to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another(1st John). If a brother has something against you, Matthew 18. “If any man is overtaken in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. I think church leaders are the only ones who are sanctioned by God to correct, reprove, and rebuke. I think leadership has the authority to disassociate a member from the church. This authority is not with the layperson. We who were in Cobu were taught to do many things that we had no authority from God to do. We were taught to function in ways that God did not gift us, nor equip us. Remember that we are different parts of the body, gifted and equipped for building up the church. Traill did not understand this about “us” but mobilized “us” for his own purposes, not according to scripture.

The Past and the Present

What do we as ex-members do now? This is always the question for me in light of my past. How do I behave now, as a Christian, concerning “coming together” with other Christians in a congregation? The answer some of you already know and have practiced for years. I am to listen to God, today. I am to hear what the Spirit says, today. I am to obey Him today. When I go to my church, I am to focus on Him. There will be distractions, there will be sin. My worship begins when I wake up. My corporate worship begins when I go into the place, the location. The things wrong need to be addressed and if I see something that needs attention I should speak to church leadership. I am able to worship God with other forgiven sinners. I am able to sing to God with songs I don’t like. If the lyrics are unscriptural I can use the music as a vehicle for my own words to God. If the message or sermon is heretical I can speak to church leadership, but even in the midst of error, I believe the Holy Spirit can still teach me and instruct me. The lesson I am being taught is that my relationship with God is portable. Wherever I go on this earth, He promised to be. He is in me. Could I design a distraction-free church service? Yes, most Christians can. Can I make it perfectly scriptural in concept? I could approximate it well. Could I get other Christians to follow my lead and adhere to my design? This is where you should smile or laugh out loud. Isn’t this where we came in?

How we do church is a matter of design, or doctrine then design, and/or the style and preference of a person or persons. Our desire as Christians is that our church be as biblical as possible and as spiritual as possible. “God is spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth.” There are true ways to worship. And there is our heart when we worship.

Depends on What You Believe

I will end by saying that I have found that most of the ex-members who I see as healed from or recovered from Traillism went to healthy non-cobu Christian churches. They got with non-cobu Christians and they had real fellowship with these brethren outside our experience. Conversely, I have found that those who only fellowship with ex-members or start their own groups with ex-members, show little to no healing from Traill’s perversion of Christianity. I recommend that all ex-members who are still struggling in their Christian lives seek out brothers and sisters who know nothing of Cobu and who do know our Lord Jesus. My wife has been a great help to me throughout the years for many reasons. One great help is that she became a Christian here in California 20 years after I got saved. Her relationship with God and her understanding of scripture is not tainted. She has only known sound doctrine and healthy Christians her entire time as a believer. I am not saying ex-members who married ex-members are doomed to never being healed because they both were in Cobu. I think there is a blessing for those ex-members who married ex-members too. They have the ability to understand healthy and sound doctrine together and are able to compare their thoughts about Cobu and contrast them with what they are learning in their current church. I cannot share my experiences of Cobu with my wife. It upsets her. So with ex-members I find consolation and understanding about our common experience. With my wife I find love and a fresh, healthy, child-like vision and understanding of God which I once had before it was corrupted.

The idea of Church is scriptural. The idea of “together” “corporate” “assembled” ; all scriptural. How we do it: there are scriptures. As for ministries and programs, how big or how small, these variables are up to the leadership and the believers of the local church. We are ultimately responsible and accountable for our obedience and disobedience to God, and God alone.

I started this writing by saying I did not want to write about Cobu. I concluded that not to mention Cobu or address its effects is a form of denial. The degree of commitment to Cobu, for me, equals the degree of damage I sustained. To translate this to other ex-members with respect to going to church, finding a church, or participating in a church, the damage is manifested in how we succeed or fail to “get together” with other Christians. We were taught by Traill what to think, what to believe about ourselves and who we were “corporately.” Because this is true, my baggage is a sack of beliefs mixed with judgments. The paramount question that stands up at every post in my Christian life is “what was of God and what was not, in Cobu?” It comes in many forms but it begs the same response from me. When I think of “church” and our “togetherness” as Christians, I hearken back to what we were in Cobu and I have to sort out what I believe about “us.” Why is this important? Because what I believe about “us” back there has bearing on what I choose to do now as a Christian when it comes to "us" now.

Let’s run this on a few tracks for clarification. If I believe Traill was a man of God and that the Forever Family was God’s will, period, then I now, present day, will seek to return to that which was God’s will for me. I might try and find ex-members who believe like me and try to recreate God’s will for us in a new church using the Traill/FF model. Keep in mind though that while I would return to the belief and definition about myself in the FF as taught by Traill, I would also have to adopt Traill’s belief and teaching about “other” Christians and other churches. He founded the FF on the idea of “us not them.” Some ex-members who subscribe to this track today treat “other Christians” with the same contempt Traill taught them years ago.

If I believe that Traill was a false teacher and the FF and Cobu were purely his idea and evil, then I will not repeat any of what I experienced those many years ago. I will discourage any ex-member from practicing any form of Traillism. But I would be left then to find a church and learn to trust Christians and Christian leadership blocking out any of the memories of the past; difficult but possible. I would have to feel my way into church situations and need to rely on The Spirit to guide me. After Cobu, trusting Christians and Christian leadership is very difficult. ST /FF ALL GOOD, ST /FF are bad. Both extremes expressed. How about the variations? What if I believe that Traill started out doing God’s will but then backslid? Would I then have a good reason to raise the FF banner and capture that time again? What would it say of us, to hearken back to something God may or may not have started 43 years ago? What does it say of our belief in how God works today? One would have to believe something about Traill, the FF or Cobu that really isn’t true, something that is beyond a biblical description of a church.

Then there are the few ex-members who have have various opinions and beliefs about Traill and Cobu and now have "ministries" they claim as God's will for them and the rest of us who were in Cobu. They have their own teaching. They have their own interpretation of scripture. Some of them rely on prophecy to confirm or validate their calling. I have found that each of these ministries are unique and by no means in agreement with one another. They have common characteristics. Their leaders have not been tested, approved, or ordained by a board, a committee, or an established church authority. They bear a resemblance to the mindset we all shared in Cobu when we believed that we had an exclusive grasp on some form of the truth. It is my opinion that these various existing "groups" that consist of ex-members only, live in an echo chamber, only hearing their own voices and believing what they discuss among themselves. These groups and individual brethren are in great need of fellowship with Christians outside our past experience.

And what about the line of thought that it does not matter, Traill, good or bad, the FF good, Cobu bad? Well, then we look to have fellowship with Christians here and now. Would God judge us for having not returned to what He supposedly started 43 years ago? Would He withhold from us until we repent and return to some form of the FF? You can see how this thinking does not sound like our Father.

What we believe now about “us” back then needs to be settled by each ex-member. If you believe that what church is and what fellowship is are two distinct things then you are able to put the FF and Cobu in their proper context without giving them or their effects any undue power or influence in your life. When you seek to fellowship with Christians in a local church, you will be serving and obeying God in the present. I hope this has helped some of you. I needed to settle this for myself. I needed to write it down. Here is the link to "What is Fellowship." What Is Fellowship"