November 27, 2015
The Lord Jesus has been gracious to us. The Lord loves us. The Lord blessed us. He poured His Spirit into us and gave us life. We have in common with all believers; our Lord, our Father. We have in common with each other a small time in our life with a small man who wanted to take the place of Jesus and replace the work of the Holy Spirit with his perversion of truth.
This man will be dead soon. Those inside his group who claim to follow Jesus really follow him. When their leader is dead; what will they do? If they loved their "brother in Christ" they would tell him the truth and dismiss him, for the sake of his eternity. But they do not love him and they displease God by allowing his sin to dominate them.
We who are truly free from that bondage need to pray and be open to those who need rescue. I have learned over the last 17 years of this site that we Christians were God's first before we gave a part of us to that leader. Our work out here is to gain that part back in order to bring it into submission to the true Lord God. I spent the better portion of this year writing a book. It is now being edited. Besides learning how to write, I learned a few things. I recognized that I finally got back the part of me I gave away.
Through writing I was able to address, not only the cult stuff, but all the aspects of my thinking and beliefs, and made some resolutions. Although life is still difficult, the peace and understanding I very much needed came this year with the conclusion of the book. I am not suggesting that every ex-member needs to do this exercise to be free. What I am urging everyone who still struggles to do is to get with someone and talk out the problem, work through what still bothers you.
The online discussions helped me to a point. I needed to speak to ex-members and remember with them and sometimes laugh at what we went through together. When the cry for "moving on" came, I realized that I had moved on and this year I believe that I completed the process. It is hard to describe this freedom without upsetting the faithful FF-minded brothers who still want to reconstruct the folly. The closest I can come to a self-help book or advise from personal experience is for everyone to look at their own experience as unique, from their own perspective, and decide what course to take that will help him or her recover and move on. I cannot tell you to do what I did because you are not me.
Talking to ex-members can be a benefit but I believe it is risky to only fellowship with ex-members and live the Christian life in tandem with them. If the other is not sufficiently recovered then you both will find yourself repeating the past and condemning those who do not do what you do. The base of our problem, I believe, is insecurity: why we joined, why we left, and what some of us did and are now doing. We were a group but our healing is not a group thing. Our answers are not answers for a group. Your healing will come from God to you. The questions you ask will come from you. And although God may work through others or things or circumstances; He is answering you. When the time comes, you will stand before Him, alone, and not in a group. I urge you then to grow in the grace of our Lord Jesus and allow Him the relationship He starting with you so many years ago.