Oct 12, 2018
I asked Donald Traill if it would be alright to come here and share some thoughts
about the death of his father, Stewart Traill. Donald received a call from Tim McAndrews a few nights
ago with the news. Having lost my dad two years ago, I had some sense of familiarity and yet the same
sadness conflicting with my lack of emotion. When my dad died I wrote down this phrase in a poem, "Death reveals us."
With Stewart's death, I believe we all have and will experience revelation. Some will mourn him. Some will express relief. I, with my two brothers, commiserated with our different perspectives of heart. It has been my belief and continues to be my belief that most of those who were the Forever Family were born again. They received the Holy Spirit. It is important for me to say this
to the rest of Christendom. We were and are Christians. I will not say what Stewart was. Not now. Death reveals
How we respond to Stewart's death will reveal how much we invested in him, what we invested. Some gave their hearts and minds for years to this person and his teaching. They bear the impressions Stewart made upon them. No one can tell any one of us, how to feel, what to feel, or how to react properly. It would be self-serving for me to teach anyone, anything at this time. I would be yielding to the legacy that Stewart impressed upon me and upon some of you. Our error, from the FF until we left the group was this: We did not allow the Holy Spirit to counsel us in full. We did not hold our leader accountable according to scripture and he became the arbiter of truth.
We all have some things in common and yet we must not think we all went through
the exact same experience and therefore must subscribe to the same "healing" or "cure." Donald has been
very honest with some online about his feelings and his perspective. I have seen genuine love being shown
him by ex-members. I understand his sister Shirley is making arrangements now for the burial.
As your brother in Christ I urge you to be led by the Holy Spirit to act in the Spirit during this time.
Each of us will react and respond in our own way. We might do this publicly or keep things to ourselves. We may
need to find other ex-members for comfort and help.
There is already speculation about the current members of Cobu. Again, I urge you to be guided by
the Spirit of God. Death reveals us. It shows us what we did with our hearts and minds with a person
while he or she was alive. I talked to a co-worker about all this. She related to me something about her first
boyfriend. She loved him but he was terribly abusive. She said that when the boyfriend had gotten into a
serious accident, she was conflicted. She cared about him and yet really didn't. She said she doesn't know
how she will feel when she finally gets the news of his death.
I will not teach you. I am here to urge you to be open to God about Stewart's death. Learn from the Spirit
about yourself. Be available, if this is the Spirit's leading, to help those who need your stability at this time. Do nothing from selfishness or conceit. Be available only if the Spirit of God is showing you that
way for others. I have nothing to analyse. My opinion is worthless. Listen to the Spirit of God and love others in the ways HE directs. It is the only way we experience healing, comfort, and consolation.
I forgave Stewart along time ago. Last Sunday I prayed for him as I have done in the past. I prayed for his repentance. I prayed longer than usual for him. When I got home from church I talked to my wife about Stewart and about my time in prayer. I talked with the co-worker I just mentioned about being in the group. Stewart died the night after that. My hope is that the Spirit interceded and broke Stewart's heart.
I will close by saying that this is a time to learn from the Spirit of God and act according to His will. It would be the Christian thing to do and the most un-cobu thing to do.
Donald posted this 2 hours ago: "Any X-Boos who desire to attend my father's funeral should contact the church directly at 1-800-226-2360.