Chapter 3: Clothes

The Hat:

Should not be tampered with by anybody, with the exception of hot chicks.

ABSLOLUTELY, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, will the button be hit in any way

Hat may be worn with the bill in the front or back, anything else gives anyone within range permission to hit the bill.

May not wear charity hats.

No punkassskaterbitchqueerfucker hats. EVER.

The Shirt:

Must be comfortable

No gay symbols (Triangles, the color purple or pink, teletubbies)

Must not be skin tight, with the exception of muscle shirts (NOTE: Must have muscle to wear muscle shirts.)

The Belt:

Does not wrap around waist twice

Beltbuckle must not be bigger than your head, not weigh more than you do

No more than 6 holes in the belt.

The Underwear (REQUIRED):

No stains. EVER.

No holes, except those necessary

Must allow freedom in the genital area

Must be easy to remove, in case of emergency

Must NOT crawl up the ass.

MUST have elastic band, no exceptions.

The Pants:

Must be worn loosely

No pants must crawl up the ass or hinder the genetalia

Must not sag below the pubic line

Cannot have more than six pockets with the exception of the condom pocket

No useless zippers or straps

Pants must not drag more than one (1) inch below your heel.


Maximum of one opening in the crotch-area.

The Shoes:

Must fit: no extra large, no extra small.

No unnecessary holes in the shoe.

No extravagent lights or sounds in the shoe, might give little japanese kids seizures.

Laces must be white, black, or brown. No faggot colors.