Full Name: Helena Thomas -- and NO, this is NOT the name on my birth certificate, so if you know me in real life, PLEASE for the love of gahd, do not call me Helena.

DOB: May 28, 1980 -- Too young to have seen "Twin Peaks" the first time around, and too old to appreciate the artistic value of Korn.

Star Sign: Gemini, with lots of planets in Virgo. This accounts for my stubborn air-headedness.

Birthplace: Binghamton, NY

Where You Live Now: Beautiful, fantastic western Washington

Family: Mom and her partner, Penny; two younger brothers, Joseph and John. And a large but elite group of people who are not genetically related to me.

Height: 5'5" and a half. Someday I will be 5'6"

Weight: Fuck if I know...

Appearance: Brown eyes, brown/red hair, plain-yet-cute.

Sexuality: You'd never guess, but mostly straight, I suppose.

Favorite TV Shows: Twin Peaks, Unsolved Mysteries, Carnivale, X-Files... Freaky, dorky stuff, mostly.

Favorite Movies: Everything David Lynch has ever done; "Clockwork Orange"; "Dancer in the Dark"; "Dead Ringers"; "Pi"; "Memento"; "Koyaanisqatsi."

Favorite Books: "Still Life With Woodpecker" by Tom Robbins; "The Book of Laughter and Forgetting" by Milan Kundera; "The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge" by Rainer Maria Rilke.

School: Regents Diploma from Johnson City High School; one year at the College of Santa Fe in New Mexico; B.A. in English from The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington.

Occupation: Writer, of course...

Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex: Kind of a loaded question, don't you think? Eyes, I suppose. I'm a sucker for beautiful eyes.

Tattoos/Piercings: plain old earrings and a tattoo of the infinity symbol on the back of my left wrist.

Down Wid OPP?: No. No, no, no, no... Never, ever, ever again.

Best Advice You Ever Got: "You don't get drunk on backwash, man..." --some random pest at CSF

What's Currently In Or Around Your CD Player: Beth Orton's "Central Reservation" CD; a bus pass; two binders; and an outdated love letter...

Words and Phrases You Overuse: "Dude!"; "Seriously!" "Actually..." and most curse words...

Sports: No.

Have You Ever Been In Love? Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. It makes me tingle all over.

Where You Shop: I don't shop; I garbage-pick. Up with garbage-picking!!!

What "Group" Do You Fit Into? Hah! "Groups" won't have me!

Favorite Beverage: orange juice or any variation thereof.

Favorite Alcoholic Beverage: Bully Hill Love My Goat red wine; vanilla screwdrivers; rum-and-caffeine-free-Cokes. I can have approximately one whiff of any of these before I am completely trashed.

Favorite Thing To Wear: bluejeans, tank top, Chuck Taylors. Straight up. Or anything black. I like black.

Favorite Color: Dark red; dark purple; steel blue. Someday, I plan to own a purple VW, and park it in front of a red house, so the colors clash and it devalues my neighbors' property.

Drug of choice: "Caffeine's a drug. Nicotine's a drug." --Agent Sam Stanley, Fire Walk With Me. Camel menthols are especially nice.

The Most Beautiful Place You've Ever Been: (in chronological order) the reservoirs near Walton, NY; Boulder City, NV; Asheville, NC; Mount Rainier, seen from pretty much the entirety of WA; the beat-up, crapped-out Weyerhauser mill in Snoqualmie, WA; Lake Quinault, WA.

Favorite CDs:
Tori Amos - mostly everything
Sarah McLachlan - "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" and "Surfacing"
B-52's - "Cosmic Thing"
-Carissa's Wierd - "Ugly But Honest"
-Low - "I Could Live In Hope" and "Long Division"
-Portishead: self-titled and "Dummy"
-The Rachel's - "Handwriting"
-Stereolab - "Mars Audiac Quintet"
-Taze Yanick - CD-R With Love

The one person you hate: Erich. And Peter. And that nasty blonde bitch, Christie, who looked and spoke and acted a LOT like Courtney Love...

Things You Obsess Over: When I wash my hands with liquid soap, I have to use 2, 3, 5, or 11 squirts of soap. I'm not sure why. Oh, and I don't drink shitty coffee...

If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live? "You've been straining so desperately for Paradise, you have forgotten that Paradise has always been your address." --Tom Robbins. I think I could be sort of a gypsy and be very happy almost anywhere, but I'd need mountains and hills and rivers to be really content. Home is where I set my bookbag down and smile. I suppose, really, that's anywhere Neil is...

Favorite Numbers: I always play 5, 11, 27, and 28 on the QuickDraw lottery games... They never win.

Favorite Ice Cream flavor: Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. Cherry Garcia's also pretty damned amazing...

What Kind of Girls/Guys Are You Attracted To? Ones with beautiful eyes, lots and lots of things to talk about, and a desire to spend their lives making interesting things happen. Or, the natural ability to make interesting things happen without trying.

Your Most Embarassing Moment: I have no shame... :?)

Favorite Time of Day: Midnight is when I come alive... In the winter, I sleep until it's dark outside, and stay up just until sunrise. You can't get seasonal affective disorder if you fuck up your biological time clock.

Can A Guy and Girl Be "Best Friends"? Probably. But why limit yourself to "best" friends? I have lots and lots of best friends. Besides, a guy and a girl can be lots and lots of other good things.

What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received? Bus tickets; several different times. There is no way anyone could have EVER wrapped something up that has been as meaningful as some of the things I've seen in my travels. I am a firm believer that Greyhounds are wonderful, wonderful things.

What else: I'm a total romantic, but I rarely show it. I remember all kinds of stupid little things from years and years ago, so it's best to watch what you say to me, because I WILL remember. I love art of almost any sort. I've never been to a psychiatrist and do not have a "diagnosis," although I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to come up with two or three. I hate most cats and do not believe all babies are cute. My favorite perfume is Gap Blue for men, but my favorite scent is that fresh-outta-the-shower smell. I have almost no regrets. I could never live without rivers and hills nearby. I do not have a goal for my life yet, although I suppose I'll do a lot of travelling, a lot of reading, and will spend the rest of my free time making love and writing.

My journal: This journal began as a school project in February of 1998, and has been updated almost daily since then. Its name is derived from a band my dear friend Jayden and I planned on starting when we were in 6th grade: The Produce Section. I am not ashamed of what I put in this journal, so please feel free to explore without shame or embarrassment. It is written for you as much as for me, and I love knowing that people take an interest in my small world and my thoughts. I am honored that you're here. Enjoy your stay and come back as often as you like.

Thank you to all of the friends and acquaintances, online and real-time folks, who wander around this way to see what I'm up to once in awhile. Most of you are wonderful.

Special thanks to (real names, alphabetical order): Aengus, Angela, Brian, Danny, Ian, Jason, Jaymi, Jessica, and Taze -- for putting up with me, inspiring and uplifting me, making my life beautiful in your own ways, and giving me some amazingly wonderful times as well as some disappointments to keep things balanced. You have been, and are, priceless to me.

This journal is dedicated to Jane.