I really need to stop getting all these stolen free-video-rental coupons from friends who work at Hastings... I always end up renting something that actually has meaning to my life, and that's never good... *smile*
Chasing Amy, however, is really cute... It made me think of a lot of cute things that have happened in my life... It's scary, sometimes, to think about some of the weird conversations about sex that I've actually had. It's scary to think about sex as something casual enough to talk about. All too often, it's this big taboo thing, especially in the Southwest. I like Chasing Amy a lot, because it was very open and very honest, even if some of the dialogue was awfully unrealistic... A lot of conversations in my life have been that open and honest, and open-and-honest is one thing that couldn't make me happier, even when it sometimes gets a little gross and weird...
August, 1997 ~ My labor day party...
Jodi: "So, okay, nobody laugh at me, but how... I mean... what exactly, um... can somebody explain this whole 'fisting' thing to me?"
Nathan: "Okay, watch this..."
Me: "Oh dear gahd..."
Nathan: "Okay, this hand is the hole, and this hand is the hand... Are you watching?"
[Two minutes later]
Jodi: "Okay, got it... So can you explain deep-throating to me?"
Nathan: "Mm-hm! Wait, I need a prop... There's still some pot roast in the kitchen, right Helena?"
Me: "Oh dear gahd..."
Nathan: "Okay, so this meat here is the cock... Are you watching?"
[Ten minutes later]
Nathan: "Helena, after watching you chew that piece of pot roast, I don't think I'm gay anymore... Can you just eat the rest of this piece while I watch? Please? I'll stop sucking your fingers and behave myself, but could you please just eat that one piece for me? You have a sexy way of chewing..."
Tuesday, 11 February 1997
Dear Diary -- I just spent the past two hours lying on my floor listening to "Talula" by Tori at top volume and I would just like you to know that I am planning on spending the rest of my life working the corner and taking heroin or something. I truly hate my best friend. And I truly hate vodka. And I truly FUCKING HATE BLACKBERRY JELLO. Love, Helena*
PS - I lost my virginity today. I think I hate Erich too.
7 August 1997
Rachel: "Helena, I really don't see what the problem is..."
Me: "Um, I walked in on my best friend and my boyfriend in bed together?"
Rachel: "Okay, so you're, like, in love with David or something, right? Do you find Peter at all attractive?"
Me: "Does anyone NOT find Peter attractive?"
Rachel: "Well, I don't, but okay, so why don't you just have a threesome? It's about time the three of you just fucked and got it over with..."
Me: "What's that a line from?"
Rachel: "'Reality Bites.' Wanna go over to my house and watch it and have sex? It's about time we just got it over with too..."
Me: "Um... maybe some other time..."
July 1998
Me: "Um, Jeff? What the fuck happened last night?"
Jeff: "You don't remember?"
Me: "Refresh me... Why did I wake up in a hotel bed with you and Stoner Joe?"
Jeff: "Because you and me and Anthony decided to get drunk and have sex, and Stoner Joe is the only one old enough to get us alcohol..."
Me: "Okay - I remember now... Yeah, and what's a little casual almost-sex between friends, right?"
Jeff: "Right. Kiss me, sex goddess!"
July, 1997
Me: "Good coffee..."
My mother: "So what's going on that you're so happy about?"
Me: "I'm, um... kinda seeing somebody..."
Mom: "Uh-huh....?"
Me: "And I'm REALLY happy!"
Mom: "Mm-hm....?"
Me: "And you know him..."
Mom: "Yeees....?"
Me: "And it's David..."
Mom: "I know... It's written all over yor face when you talk about him. But I've got to tell you, Helena, you're going to get hurt in all of this... It's really going to hurt you when you're out someplace and you both turn your heads to look at a cute boy..."
August, 1998
Ken: "Have you ever had sex with a girl?"
Me: "No... have you?"
Ken: "Um, duh, I have a son..."
Me: "How come? I mean, how come you asked?"
Ken: "Have you ever wanted to?"
Me: "I guess so... I mean, just out of curiosity. I don't really think I could have a long-term relationship with, like, a chick... And the only girl I'm close enough to to actually do it with is one of my closest friends since I was, like, six or something, and she's straight and I totally wouldn't want to fuck up a 12-year friendship for a little experimentation..."
Ken: "Oh gahd, I want another drink... Girl, do you want another drink? All this talking about having sex with girls is making me want another drink..."
Love Always,
~Helena*