I spent the weekend in El Paso with Mike... Believe me, I have plenty to say about that... Unfortunately, I'm a little tired, and my fingers are out of practice on a keyboard (I know, it's only been, like, two days, right? Sorry - it's true!), so I won't have time to go into all of that stuff...
No, what I want to talk about right now is stars. On the drive to El Paso, I watched the sun set over the mountains, which is always a magnificent sight, provided you think yucca plants and dirt are beautiful as well as ribbons of many colored light outlining the hills... Just after the sun had sunk below the yucca plants, the moon rose and, just after that, two stars appeared just below the moon in the western sky. They were huge and bright, and I stared at them for an hour or two as we drove...
Star light, star bright... yeah right... It seems stupid to wish on stars, you know? I'm 18 years old, in college, and I'm the relatively sane one, you know? But then again, I know some relatively sane people who light candles and chant in order to praise the spirits of trees. I know some relatively sane people who drink wine and swear it's blood. I know some relatively sane people who never shop anyplace but the GAP. I can have my quirks too, right? Although I always did like to at least hug a tree once in awhile... :?)
I made my wish. I knew what I wanted. I knew exactly what I wanted. I've known for a long time.
It's not that I don't believe in wishes coming true. I do. I believe in wishes and I believe in miracles and I believe in spirits and souls and all of that stuff. I may be cynical, and I may be skeptical, but I've never been closed-minded about much of anything... And come on! After all that's gone right in my life, how could I NOT believe that SOMETHING is out there hearing prayers and wishes? Something prevented my mom from skidding out of control on an icy bridge while she was pregnant with me - well, actually, she did skid out of control, but nothing hit her and she didn't die or anything, which is the point of this sentence... Something has saved me from serious injury in three serious auto accidents: one where I was a pedestrian and one where I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Something saved me from being raped by Brian Andrews. And something has introduced me to some wonderful friends.
So maybe wishing on stars does work. I'm reminded of the scene in Pinnochio where the blue chick in the gown comes down from the star to grant Pinnochio's wish. If I were actually Pagan, that blue chick would be my goddess image, I think. I used to pray to her, even though my parents said it was only a movie and my grandparents called me a sinner (at FOUR? Come on! Can a four-year-old BE a sinner?)
So, I wished on these two stars as we drove toward El Paso... They were AWFULLY bright, I thought... And I didn't remember them being there before, but what the hell - in the southwest, you never know what you might see in the skies, and it's pretty good if you just take it all in stride...
The next morning, in the El Paso Times , it was reported that Venus and Jupiter were both visible in the twilight sky, doing a little cosmic "dance" that only happens once every 18 years or so; they would be visible in the western sky just below the moon... Pretty cool, huh?
So what the hell does it mean when Venus and Jupiter twist around each other like that? It's got to mean something cool... And since Jupiter IS my ruling planet (yes, I'm a Gemini, but the last few days of May are ruled by Jupiter - just go with me here; all that does is make me more susceptible to falling in love with Sagittarians -- gr...), maybe it's something cool...
Oh, I wish.......
Love,
Helena*
"I wish... more than anything... more than life... more than riches..." --"Into the Woods," by Stephen Sondheim