Like, oh my gahd, like, my linkage page needs some like SERIOUS updating...
I've got to tell you, I don't know WHY I bother reading some of the websites I do. Some of them are just boring as fuck. I mean, I thought it was bad when the only journals I ever came across were ones written by whiny little girls who consistently whined about the amount of money their parents gave them (sorry kids, but I have no sympathy for whiny bitches who "only" get fifty bucks a week as an allowance) and bragged about how often they practiced self-mutilation as a result of only having fifty bucks a week from mommy.
But now? Now, somehow, these journals seem even more superficial. I didn't think it was possible for people to be as shallow as all of THIS... I mean, seriously, folks: is there ANYTHING meaningful in whining about needing new clothes? Is it entertaining to read about which boy somebody likes better, the one with the brown hair, or the one with the blonde hair? Is it fun to listen to somebody whining about wanting to change their life when it's quite apparent all they're doing is sitting on their ass? Furthermore, what about these lazy asses who never update anything, and every damned time they do, they say shit like, "well, me and BeckyJo are still together, even though she said all those things..." -- only you've never heard of BeckyJo, and you have no idea what the fuck anybody said...
And pardon me, but I just can't force myself to care about what people are wearing, how much their electricity bill costs, and how they had an absolute catastrophe this morning when they couldn't find their lipstick. Fucken PLEASE!!! Why do people insist on fretting about these little things? Why let your world be shattered by a missing tube of lipstick, or a boy who called you back an hour late? Why threaten suicide over an unmopped floor, you know? Why whine about money? You shouldn't EVER whine about money until you're out of food or cigarettes, or when you're within a few bucks of getting evicted. You shouldn't whine about people mistreating you until it's a screaming match, or they're telling you, in so many words, that you're utterly worthless. And NOBODY GIVES A SHIT what you're wearing.
This is not to say I'm the proud web-mistress of a literary masterpiece, but at least I manage to keep it real MOST of the time. I'm truly embarrassed for some of these people -- mostly female, but many male -- who let their lives be dictated entirely by how much money they have, how many concerts they're going to this month, and what other shallow people think of them.
Rather than suffer continual embarrassment for people I never see in real life, I am simply going to take their journals out of my daily reading repertoire. Also, I'm unlinking anybody who hasn't updated in over a month, with the exception of Douglass, who will return as soon as he has a functioning computer. Douglass may lead kind of a dull life (Magick cards, various unworking car parts, making fun of folks, and trying to get laid), but at least he's not a whiny little bitch.
I've been reading Jake's copy of "Catcher in the Rye" all week; I've read it before, but what the heck... I think it's influencing my sudden spastic hatred of phonies. Actually, it's not all that sudden; now's just the day when I'm finally giving up on all the boring whiny people I virtually know.
So! Your assignment, as my dear reader, is to email me, or post in my guestbook (preferably not as a "private" entry) one of your favorite regularly-updated web-sites for my linkage page. It can be your own, or somebody else's; I don't give a crap. As long as it's got SOME sort of soul in it, and it isn't just shitty bitching about inconsequential things.
I might mention that I'm extraordinarily moody today. I'm not sure why, exactly. I think it's a combination of things, generously sprinkled with overdoses of estrogen.
I'm feeling terribly gloomy, terribly undesirable, and stricken with a general wish for things to break. Of course, there is little rational basis for most of the turmoil. This is kind of making things worse. It kind of means if I start to weep uncontrollably, that I'll have to make up some dumbassed cause, like, "I have ZITS, dammit!" Or, "I feel DIRTY and I need a SHOWER!" And those things fall greatly short of being truly at fault for uncontrollable weeping. At least, legitimate uncontrolled weeping. So THEN, I feel like an asshole for being weepy without a damned good reason.
A good thing about being pregnant is this: if I suddenly start crying, for no external reason whatsoever, and I whimper, "I don't KNOW what's wrong!" -- people will forgive me and say, "aw, honey, it's just hormones." Another good thing about being pregnant is this: if I want to lick the inside of the bag of microwave popcorn, people will still think it's gross, but they'll at least chalk it up to me being pregnant, rather than to the true cause, which is me greatly enjoying (pregnant or not) the fat and salt content of the inside of the bag of microwave popcorn. Hell yes.
Mostly, I love being pregnant. Really.
I just hate being moody.
Going to go take a shower now...
~Helena*