25 November 2001 ~ Spazzing out...

I'm having "Girl Trouble."

...And I DON'T mean my secret lesbian lover is cheating on me...

It's been a VERY long time since I've been this miserable over a natural female body function. I woke up this morning, still feeling tired, and when I stood up, I was so light-headed and weak that I had to sit back down. That hasn't happened in an AWFULLY long time. As soon as I realized it was "that time of the month," I took a couple of Tylenols and decided to sit on the couch and mope, as normal women do in movies and things. Sure as hell, the Tylenol didn't do jack shit, and within an hour after waking, I was clutching my abdomen, spazzing out, and crying in this awful, weakened, fetal position.

I haven't had to OD on Tylenol in well over a year. By "OD," I don't mean taking like, ten of them; I just mean taking more than the recommended dose. I took three in two hours. I hate to do that, because who the hell KNOWS what it's doing to my guts. But there are certain kinds of pain I cannot tolerate.

I don't understand why the hell my body's so out of whack today... Too much salt this week? Too little? Who knows. Not to mention, I'm actually four days EARLY this month, which is just weird. For at least six months, I could tell exactly what day to "be prepared" (as Nathan would put it: "that redcoats are coming! the redcoats are coming!") by how full the moon is. So the whole thing is pretty weird. I HATE it when my body does stuff I don't really expect it to do. I planned on spending the day writing today, but I couldn't get up and the fucking Tylenol didn't kick in for hours, so I went back to sleep and spent the day in bed.

I went to the gas station a few hours ago, having run out of feminine protection supplies (in one fucking DAY I ran out? Gross. This is NOT normal...), and I barely had the physical strength to walk the half-block down there.

The funny thing is, even though I'm in great pain, and my head is spinning, and I have no energy, and I'm super weak, at LEAST I'm not irritable. Funny, how that works out! I'm miserable, but at least I'm happy! Duh.

~Helena*