27 October 2002

I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to curl up in a bunch of blankets and make a nest and get some coffee and some cigarettes and I want to just die there with my coffee and my cigarettes. I want to just sit and watch TV until my brain is much and I can't think anymore.

Can't sleep.

Am having trouble breathing.

I feel horrible.

I want to go home. Please let me go home, just for a few hours... I just want to sleep and wake up and find out that this is nothing but a bad dream.

Have to go -- appointment in two minutes. Trying not to freak out and cry in front of my students. I shouldn't be at work today, but I couldn't just sit at home. More very soon. Thank you for being here. I'm sorry for being vague. Soon.

~Helena*