28 September 2001 ~ Broken like water...

A shitty day. The zipper on my pants broke. Ran out of cigarettes. A bout of PMS. A lot of shouting at work. Cloudiness.

It's autumn now, and stuff is dying. Leaves. Relationships. And it's rainy. You don't know just how cold 53-degrees is until you're wandering around in 53-degree weather and it's rainy and grey.

Seven hours of work. Not fun work or anything, but the kind of work where people YELL at you for seven hours.

Walked home. The batteries shorted out on my discman. Had to hum to myself to keep myself motivated:

["My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark..."
--Indigo Girls]

It seemed appropriate to cry. But I tried not to.

You know, they're talking in the papers now about anthrax and things, about the U.S. maybe getting dusted with some awful germ... The plague or something... Every time I took a dollar from somebody to put it in the cash register, I thought, "Whoops. There you go, Helena. Congratulations: you just contracted anthrax."

It seemed appropriate to cry. I managed not to.

When I got home, the mood broke.

It's amazing how my moods are. They just come and go, but they don't do so quietly. Most are hormonal in nature, I suppose. It just never fails to amaze me, how one minute I can be pissed off and weepy and tired, and the next moment, the chemicals just seem to subside and I'm back to my geeky, happy-ish self.

The mood broke like a pregnant woman's water, at the base of the steps to my apartment. Appropriate indeed, because at the top of the steps to my building, I found a postcard waiting for me, addressed in vaguely familiar handwriting: a photograph of a bunch of women wearing gas masks, from my friend Jane.

So terribly demented. So terribly insensitive and inappropriate. So damned funny. So good to know I have friends who appreciate sick humor. Have I mentioned in the past few hours that I think Jane is fantastic? Gahd I love that girl. If ever I was going to fall in love with a person of the XX persuasion, that person would so undoubtedly be Jane...

*sigh*

I'm excessively hyper and restless at the moment, having forgotten that Dr. Pepper is caffeinated... I'd better sign off before I make any messes...

~Helena*