02 September 2004 ~ Best day of my life...

Everything in the world is going right at the moment. Not everything is absolutely perfect, but even those things that really pretty questionable appear to be heading in the right direction.

Spent the past two days in Olympia with Neil. I had a doctor's appointment and an errand or two to run, so we made a little vacation of it together.

I am so tired right now... I will have to write about the little vacation later. But a few of the important parts first:

...I gained just about eight pounds in the past four or five weeks. That's really pretty good. I presently weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life, I'm pretty sure. That makes me happy. I got asked today, for the first time, when I was due -- it's obvious enough now that some girl at the bus stop asked me. Woo-hoo! I'm plump! And my bellybutton looks funny. That's just weird, but amusing as hell... The baby is doing well. Her heart beat was 152 per minute -- which would seriously fuck up an adult, but it's perfectly normal for wee ones. She kicked our doctor. I like the doctor a lot, because he's the sort of person who can get this look of delight in his eyes -- without losing any professionalism -- over stuff like getting kicked by very, very small people.

...I decided on a bus today that if I ever had any doubts about Neil being The One for me, the person I want to spend the absolute rest of my life with, those doubts were meaningless and stupid... We were having a conversation about linguistics... I could talk forever about language... Words are as important to me as food and water and air. Communication is like breathing for me -- it's just an absolute necessity. And for the first time, I felt like somebody understood that... Not just on a surface level, like, "wow, that's really nice, Helena..." But like Neil knew... I have been hesitant to "ramble" for a long time, because most people do not seem to understand my enthusiasm. No one else, really, I didn't think. But Neil understands my enthusiasm. My gahd, I knew from the instant I saw him that I loved him... But every time we talk, every time we have a conversation, every time I learn something new about him, I love him more. I haven't had any doubts about this relationship for a number of months -- since before it really was a relationship -- but if I did, they would have flown out the window today and been run over by our bus. Love is not the right word.

...Got the coolest pair of boots I have ever owned today. They're black suede Doc Martens -- fourteen holes. I wore them all day, without socks, and didn't get blisters. They were in a vintage clothing store, but they were only twenty bucks. I can't really afford twenty bucks, but that's my treat to myself for the month. I adore them. I've been waiting for the right boots to come along for YEARS now, and I think these may be it... Not completely sure, but getting there...

...Got some good mail and talked to some really cool people today. Saw a man throw some Chinese food to a blood-sucking seagull. Got a present from somebody I NEVER expected to get a present from, and got her a present which she appeared to really like... Learned what "human suspension" means, and learned about the etymology of the word "cap," as in, "Ima put a cap in your ass." Basically, I woke up this morning, surveyed my surroundings, and decided that absolutely everything in the world was perfect or heading rapidly in that direction. And nothing ALL day has proved me wrong.

I have to go to sleep now... I'm gonna pass out on the keyboard if I don't.

Love,
~Helena*