01 September 2003 ~ Liz Phair and being a worry-wart...

Sitting here listening to Liz Phair. She kicks ass.

Lately, I've been finding it difficult to live in the moment. I'm worried about money, always worrying about whether I'm going to be able to afford a bottle of soda tomorrow. I'm worried about my book -- looking back at things and wondering if I've ever managed to do the right thing in my entire life...

I feel bad for Jake. I feel bad for all of the friends and family I've been sort of putting on hold. I don't know what my problem is. I just have this feeling that I've got to sort of isolate myself a little bit, and figure out what the fuck I'm doing with my life -- where it's been, and where it's going. In a completely illogical, ridiculous way, it seems like that ought to sort of fix ME, in my entirety. Meanwhile, I'm probably alienating everybody I know, and in another six or seven years, I'll start working on fixing THAT. Duh, Helena.

I ordered a used book from Amazon.com two weeks ago, and it still hadn't arrived. I keep emailing threats to the seller, but to no avail.

Waiting for a friend of mine to appear on instant-messenger. I had a question to ask him, and he hasn't been online for two days. Of course, this is unnecessarily freaking me out. It's a STUPID question, anyway.

I've run out of Liz Phair songs to play. I'm playing them again.

Gahd, I lead a boring life. No wonder I always want to go out and look at crime scenes.

I gotta get going. Maybe some food will improve the world at large.

~Helena*