Saw my car today. It's not actually mine... yet. It will be. If I have to sell my body on Carroll Street, it will be mine. It is the sexiest thing I have ever seen on four wheels. And it's automatic so I don't have to learn to drive stick.
"It will be mine... OH YES. It will be mine." --Wayne's World.
I've named her already. She will be mine.
Quoth Aaron Jesús Leroy: "My cell phone is cutting into my side. Ah well, shit happens."
Quoth Aaron Jesus Leroy: "Cool, I'm still rolling. UNH!"
My friend Aaron is rolling around on the floor yelling "BAKLAVA!" and singing in what appears to be Italian. Also, he's snorting a good deal, and has suddenly, inexlplicably, remembered the rest of the "there once was a man from Nantucket" limerick. Aaron is fun when he drinks.
Quoth Aaron Jesus Leroy: "We went to the HOSPITAL, Helena! I have bracelets on, and I didn't even pay for them!" We went to the hospital earlier to nurse Aaron's latest injury, and ended up at the Spot Restaurant, where my dear friend downed a grasshopper and a blackberry sour. Needless to say, I drove home, as Aaron was in no shape to move, much less find the headlights and steering wheel.
Quoth Aaron Jesus Leroy: "Motherfuckers... If it wasn't for the hairy aircraft... you know, like a PUSSY!? If I was going to take something over, I'd take over the Galapagos and get one of those fucken SEA TURTLES to ride around on... Like AQUA-MAN! I am AQUA-MAN!!! Fucken TUNA!"
Needless to say, I drove home.
I may be driving Aaron back to his own house soon. He's sort of scaring me.
Quoth Aaron Jesus Leroy: "Hey, LOOK Helena! I'm gonna get a RECTAL EXAM!" He's playing with his cell phone. I'm NOT turning around.
"Helena, I hafta PEEEEEEEEE!"
Oh gee-zuz.
"Helena..... I need to pee... Wait, no I don't. Nevermind, I just did. Helena, I'm thirsty. We need more alcohol... Let's go to Lane's... No wait! Let's got ot the Leroy Street Package Store! Heh! Package!"
Oh gee-zuz... I'm driving...
I think I'll be ready to take my driving test soon. I've certainly been getting enough practice this evening.
Aaron's speaking in Italian again... "Sambre pinchi! Lau rocketu respiro... Du bist du bloumen bincher!"
(This is ALL phonetic translations...)
"Let the sunshine in... Let the suunshine in... The SUNNNNNN shine in!"
Aaron and I took a brief excursion to the Leroy Street Package Store... We're currently drinking "woo-woo's": peach schnapps, Absolut, and cranberry juice. I'm not really drinking mine, just sort of smelling it... I don't like peach schnapps. Or cranberry juice. Reminds me of the way Peter used to smell after too many Puerto Rican Boom-Booms...
Quoth Aaron Jesus Leroy: "Fucken DRAG QUEENS! What the fuck kind of... dude, what the hell's this? ARGHHHH!!! I've got cum on my hands! Hey, I drooled again! Leeeeeeeeeet the sun shine in......... LOOK! A slut!" He's currently reading Kathie Lee Gifford's autobiography. Gee-zuz.
"Mama mia! Aye Carumba! Blow my wad! Ashoooooooo, l'amoreeeeeee, la SERVITUUUUUUU, da luche que plore more denti, lau puenti, el roti demoriiiiiiiiiiiiiii...."
Aaron currently sounds kind of like Mike did the first time I took him down the pasta aisle of a grocery store and made him pronounce all the names of the pastas in Italian. "RIGATONI!!! TORTELLINI!!!! I'm HOTTTTTTT Helena..."
Pasta la vista, baby...
~Helena*
"Gimme a few minutes. I'll say somethin' stupid... Don't finish your entry YET! I'm still drunk!" --Aaron.