Got written up at the shelter again for insubordination. This is like, the seventh or eighth time at least. The majority of the "incidents of concern" involve me falling asleep while waiting for one of the staff people to finish giggly telephone calls or cheery discussions with other residents.
Sleeping is naughty. Don't ever do it.
Technically, they can throw me out at any time now. I've had more than two "incidents" that involved not doing my chores. Blah. Actually, I DID do my chore last night; the staff woman was just too busy to listen to me when I informed her that they were done.
So, I may be sleeping in a car for a couple of days, depending on who's working tonight and what kind of mood she's in.
At this point, that's fine by me. Frankly, I think that almost every single employee of this stupid place is pure, stark evil underneath their bright, friendly smiles. I know a car I'd be welcome to sleep in, and by August, I've got a place of my own.
What I don't understand is this: why do sexual abusers, active prostitutes, drug users, people who use physical violence, and child abusers get to stay at this place, but the pregnant girl who falls asleep before she has a chance to tell somebody she's done her chore, gets written up and probably asked to leave?
It's not like the world is going to end if the bathroom mirror has a watermark on it somewhere. Incidentally, it DIDN'T have a watermark on it.
It's also not like the world is going to end if somebody hits their infant daughter's head on a hard wooden couch arm-rest, and then screams at the child to shut up -- but it's a whole fuck of a lot more horrible.
I mean, I THINK it is... Maybe I just have a lousy sense of decency.
So, I'm leaving Olympia...
In a way, that makes me very unhappy. For the most part, I've really loved this weird little city during my time living here.
Sometimes, they string up lights all around Sylvester park, right across from the Greyhound station, and they leave them up all night.
Sometimes, you can see a kid on the bus reading a Kurt Vonnegut book and wearing a shirt with Communist propaganda on it.
Sometimes, people just talk to you for no reason.
Sometimes, people will invite you to a protest or a political gathering, and it's considered a "date."
And this town really does have some seriously good coffee...
I used to stand on my rooftop on the west side, and watch the fires on Fort Lewis. Fort Lewis is probably 25 miles away, give or take, but I could always tell the difference between smoke and clouds. Those stupid fuckers were always bombing the shit out of their land and then wondering why it ended up on fire. Duh. I sat and watched the smoke rising, sometimes for hours, until the sun would set. When the sun sets in Olympia, the whole sky is perfectly smooth, and all the colors blend into each other perfectly. It's astonishingly beautiful.
I found ALL the best blackberry patches in town, and made pie, and tea, and smoothies, and mead... The best way to eat a blackberry is right off the bush, especially if it's been in the sun.
I loved reading in restaurants and not getting looked at like a freak. Norman used to read in restaurants in Binghamton, and everybody thought he was a freak, myself included. But here, they let you, and it's really nice.
In winter, during the "rainy" season (it's more of a heavy mist than a rain), when everything is damp for eight months, the trees smell like heaven...
Olympia is in the middle of everything. All the little podunk towns; Portland; Seattle; the ocean; both mountain ranges... If you want to see something -- anything -- it's practically in your backyard in Olympia. I've really come to love the little shithole towns around here, especially Shelton. Nobody in the world actually likes Shelton, and I can't explain why I do. I like how it's all folded up in the hills. I like the way everybody sits on their porches after dusk because they have nothing better to do than watch the sun set and smoke weed. I like the A & W rootbeer stand; best fast food I've ever had in my life. I like Aberdeen: perpetually grey and black with an abundance of churches and bridges and rainclouds, and basically nothing else. Except the big rock next to the high school, painted with a David Bowie quote. I loved the Nisqually reservation, even though parts of it gave me the creeps. I loved the Nisqually Bar & Grill, the best cheeseburger joint in town, even if it was mostly populated by frightening-looking drunk men. I even loved the stupid casino, even though I never really won, and my statistically-sound roulette strategy didn't actually work very well.
I loved skinny-dipping at the Evergreen beach. Technically, nudity is prohibited, but generally they only arrest old fat men with erections. I learned there that if you pet a jellyfish on its top, it can't sting you. Especially not if it's dead. I learned also that sunscreen has to go everywhere.
I'm going to miss Free Jazz with Fred on Sunday nights, even though I haven't been able to pick up his radio station in, like, two years.
I'm going to miss the seals that swim up to the bridge downtown to chew up the salmon in the fall.
I'm going to miss the post office next to the train tracks, which I was always pretty sure was enchanted.
I'm going to miss the baked chicken at the Bayview Thriftway. Damn, that shit is good.
I'm going to miss Louise and Douglass and my friends from Evergreen. And, yeah, the friends I've made in the stupid shelter. I have made one or two, believe it or not.
I'm going to miss Caffé Vitta: sitting in the window with a laptop and an americano, watching the world go by and occasionally smoking cigarettes outside with the crazy homeless people.
I'm going to miss the weird little grassy area next to the transit center where the good people of the world smoke cigarettes and the displaced teenagers make trouble. There's more people-watching to be done there than one could ever believe.
I'm going to miss all the organic, hand-crafted bullshit that people are always trying to sell me. Some of it's nice, some of it's useless, but at least I always knew a lot of love went into it.
I'm going to miss May Day. And the Creature Parade. Fuck. Well... No, maybe I can take a bus back to Olympia for those things. Those things are not to be missed. I mean, when you're walking down the street and suddenly a massive throng of octopuses, tigers, salmon, and dragonflies walks past you, you can't exactly shrug later and say "I don't feel like going this year."
I won't be going very far... Although, without a car, everything seems far. I won't be able to walk through the parks at night anymore, and watch the sunset over the bay.
I don't know my new town very well at all. I've only been there a couple of times.
I don't know where I can flop myself down in the grass and read a book for a couple of hours. I don't know where I can get organic produce if I feel like being a pretentious Olympian. I don't even know where to get a good cup of coffee, or pick blackberries. I don't know where to watch the sunsets.
Before I go, I have to say goodbye, and I don't want to. I made a hell of a lot of stupid mistakes here, and I got myself into a lot of horrible situations, but most of it has been lovely... This is home now, and I'm very nervous about leaving it.
There is a parking lot downtown, in the center of which is a large metal pipe. Water shoots out of the pipe; this is known as The Artesian Well. Various folklore surrounds this well. Some say that the water comes from a glacier deep below the surface of the earth. Some say it comes from Mount Rainier. Most people agree that it is somehow sacred, even if it is just a dumb pipe in the middle of a parking lot. Some people say that the well connects people, that it causes meetings between people who are karmically linked together. Other people say that if you drink from the water, you'll never really leave Olympia.
People used to say that if you swam at the confluence of the Susquehanna and the Chenango, you'd never leave Binghamton, either. I guess, in a way, I did leave a small part of myself there. And I guess that I will leave a part of myself here, too.
If I don't make it into town this fall to watch the salmon, somebody please go down to the bridge for me and watch them for me?
I have two errands to run in the time remaining in this day...
First, I have to stop at the grocery store and buy a pie pan. A real one, because Safeplace only has this shitty cake dish that doesn't work for shit.
Second, I have to procure a large bowl and collect some blackberries..........
~Helena*