23 July 2003 ~ Who's your momma...?

My professor said to me yesterday, "[This character] seems very idealized."

Well, yes, of course. This character, whom, for purposes of this journal, we shall call Neil, is the hero of the story. The story is ABOUT him. And I LIKED him. I still like him. Of course he's "idealized."

People idealize their friends and acquaintances all the damned time. People fall "in love" with people they've never spoken to before. A person you particularly like might tell the corniest joke on earth, and you'd still laugh, because you just think they're a cool person. Idealizing people is REAL.

So what's the big deal?

Well, the big deal is that, in 99% of the novels I've ever read, males are never "idealized." It's always the women.

What's up with that?

Maybe I'm just reading the wrong books...

But... Women always seem to be perfect. There aren't ever any lumpy women in books. There aren't even any OLD women in books, and if there are, they have "grace and dignity." There aren't fat women in books, and when there are, they're "full-figured." They all have long, flowing, shampoo-commercial hair. They have snapping black eyes, or sky-blue eyes, or mint-green eyes. They don't ever really talk back. Well, some of them do, but it's still pretty rare. They're always either very quiet, or very mysterious. Even the women who are particularly badassed -- even THEY always tend to be somehow victimized, or subdued. Usually by men.

Men... now, men can be old... Men can be ugly. Men in books can lose their hair, their teeth, their hearing, their health. Men frequently have bowel troubles (Quick, give three examples of men having diarrhea in literature!). Men sit on porches paring their nails with their keys. Men burp and fart and become enamored of beautiful, perfect, intelligent, quiet, servile women. The women then go inside and quietly have some babies and make some pies.

Okay, I can give you three examples of men having diarrhea in books, but I cannot name you ONE leading lady in a book who wasn't described as being reasonably attractive. Name me a woman who was missing some teeh, and I'll give you a cookie. And no, the women in "Tommyknockers" don't count; everybody in the whole town lost their teeth.

So, I think it's about time for some change...

How about this: an awkward teenaged girl, who is cute but not beautiful, who is dorky and shy but badassed, who is quiet but who holds (and gives) very unique opinions on all sorts of things, and who has various crushes on various idealized males.....

What's wrong with you penis-lugging people being the sex objects once in awhile? I'm tired of carrying the burden of Western civilization's standard of beauty; it's TOTALLY your turn. How about I describe YOUR hair, and eyes, and voice, and posture, and words, and gracefulness, and cooking abilities, as you've been describing mine for centuries? YOU be the sex objects now. So maybe I am a girl, but girls have crushes and infatuations and love affairs every bit as much as you men do.

I've read a lot of novels in my life so far. Most by men, some by women. Women just don't write all that many novels, unless you count trashy romances. Either that or bookstores just don't display them. So, most of the books I've been reading are by men. And so I've patterned my own writing style after those men I admire most. Since I am a mostly-heterosexual female, I don't write about beautiful women much; I write about beautiful men. I mean, it seemed totally normal to ME...

When my professor pointed out to me that "Neil" is an idealized character, as if it were some sort of revelation, I realized something... It has almost never been okay for women to look at men as sex objects. It has almost never been okay for women to have ACTUAL romantic feelings. We're supposed to wait for men to like us, and then we're supposed to sort of capture them, and occasionally demand attention. Our relationships with other women are supposed to either be catty, or... or hell, we're supposed to be lesbians, and lick twat for male passersby. In relationships with men, we're supposed to either be subdued, or manipulative. We never ACTUALLY get physically turned on, and when we do, it sounds horribly fake. We're supposed to LOOK perfect, and have nothing in our heads, or in our hearts.

Somewhere along the line, I guess I was reading some book, and somebody came along and anaesthetized me while I wasn't paying attention. And as I flipped pages, somebody removed half my clit.

Well, anyway, it's about time for women to have personalities, and men to be sexy.

~Helena*