15 July 2002

Nine-thirty AM, as I'm preparing for a job interview, King George W. Bush, the alleged president of the country of which I'm an alleged citizen, made the announcement that there's nothing wrong with the economy and that anybody who TRIES to get a job can get a job.

Yeah, wish my daddy would give me a few companies and my brother would steal a a powerful government office for me.

I wish I had a zillion dollars I totally didn't deserve.

Lord, I hate the person running my country. ANYBODY can get a job who TRIES? How DARE he say such a thing on the radio where people like ME can hear him? Where people like the kids on the second floor of my building -- who don't have jobs -- can hear him? Where my former neighbors, who are working their asses off in food service for minimum wage, can hear him?

Bite me, Shrub.

I wish I could step on G.W.'s face.

Went to a store called Fred Meyer's today to put in an application. It's a store along the lines of a Wal-mart, or a Target: essentially, they sell you useless pieces of plastic that they acquired through exploiting little babies in sweatshops and so forth. Those sorts of places make me want to weep, really. Every damned time I'm in one, I see these trashy people buying stupid GARBAGE they can't afford, which they DON'T need, and supporting corporate giants who exploit overseas laborers -- but who "create jobs" by exploiting the poor Americans who have no choice but to work their cash registers in order to pay the bills.

Worst of all... Fred Meyer's has all but eliminated the NEED for cashiers. That is to say, you ring up your OWN purchase, swipe a plastic card, and then some nice anonymous lady asks what number "check-out" you went to, has you sign a receipt, and you walk out the door.

It's something out of a nightmare. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but wasn't this pretty much how the fascist theocracy in "The Handmaid's Tale" started out?

It honestly hurts me to see these things. Maybe I'm just not very adaptable; maybe I'm just too conservative and traditional for my own good. But what the fuck ever happened to going to a grocery store to buy your groceries, a clothing store to buy clothing, and a housewares store to buy houseware things? And what the fuck ever happened to people smiling at you as you walk in and out of the door, and offering to help you find things when you stand there looking baffled, instead of RADIOING somebody else to do it? I guess I'm just an old-fashioned country girl, but I'll be damned I hate this "modern" consumerism shit.

This isn't normal. It isn't healthy. It isn't even SANE. It's just BAD, and WRONG, and EVIL, and it scares me. People don't GIVE a shit about other people anymore, just as long as they're able to convince you to buy useless pieces of plastic so that they can make money off you and buy their OWN useless pieces of plastic. Has it been like this for awhile now? Why didn't somebody tell me that this is the way things are supposed to be, before I got all worked up about doing some GOOD for the world, and the human spirit?

Lipstick. I'd like to talk briefly about lipstick. According to my friend Jen-Eriq, who IS quite the expert on the subject, most "feminine" behaviors are exploitations of characteristics that women -- but not men -- possess. For example: women have smaller feet than men, and the high heeled pump is alleged to be an elevation and a provocative presentation of the small foot. In other words, high heels are mating tools for human women. Also, women have proportionately larger lips than men, which can be hammed up a little bit by lipstick. Thus, the act of wearing lipstick is a woman's way of defining herself AS a woman, and of accentuating that fact to others.

In other words, lipstick, in its origins, is nothing more than a mating ritual. Evidently, human women haven't evolved to the point where they can attract a mate by TALKING to him. Fucking depressing if you ask me. Even MORE fucking depressing that so many men fall for this lipstick shit.

Why would a woman go into a Target, a Fred Meyer's, a Wal-mart, or whatever, and purchase a tube of lipstick? Because SHE'S FUCKING INSECURE IN HER IDENTITY AS A WOMAN!!! ...okay, okay, fine: we're ALL made to feel insecure in our identities as women -- and men. Maybe you actually think it makes you look better, or maybe your man thinks it makes you look better, or whatever. Fine. Maybe it DOES make you look better. But why the hell bother wasting ten dollars on a stupid tube of pigment when ALL you have to do is go outside, pick a blackberry, and rub it on your mouth? THAT, I will never understand.

And whatever; I own lipstick too, and every couple of months, I'll even wear it... ...But I honestly cannot recall ever having BOUGHT it...

Sorry. Just feeling a bit like a radical today. It was that whole stupid "Anybody who tries to get a job can get a job" bullshit. Shrub hasn't EVER needed to look for a job, now has he?

Everything is going to be okay.

Mount Rainier loves me even though I haven't got a job.

Blackberries are blooming even though I haven't got a job; and the only really ripe ones are across the street from my building.

Salmon are growing up and swimming around, even though I haven't got a job.

People still drive around with "Jesus Loves You" sticker on their trucks, and if Jesus ever DID love me, he still does, even though I don't have a job selling useless pieces of plastic to other people.

Ralphie Nader still loves me. My mom and my brothers still love me. Norman still loves me. The sun is shining on me and there's a pretty song running through my head.

I will not worry. Those who would have me worry about what could happen to me without their stupid money and their stupid jobs, are NOT WORTH LISTENING TO. I'll be okay. I'll be okay somehow, and in my own way.

Shrub can go to hell, and so can his stupid, ugly wife with her stupid, ugly lipstick.

Have a good day; I am.

~Helena*