15 July 2000 ~ Seeing is believing...

"I have seen you, and I love you."

I think that is the most beautiful line I've ever heard spoken at a wedding.

My mom and Penny had a commitment ceremony in Ithaca today. They had advertised for someone to perform the ceremony in the Wiccan tradition, because neither of them knew anybody Wiccan, particularly not somebody who could perform a "handfasting" (marriage) ceremony. So they got this woman and her boyfriend to perform it... People stood around in a circle, and Robin and Marcus (the priest and priestess) did all these blessings and called names of elements and goddesses and directions and spirits... It was really very cool.

And the end of one of the vows was, "I have seen you, and I love you."

I have seen many, many people. Thousands, maybe millions... I have seen a very few people for what and whom they really are...

...One or two of them, I've even loved.

To SEE somebody... I guess it's not really something I think about much. It's very difficult to SEE somebody. Judgements get in the way, and judgments get clouded by what you want to see. Beautiful people turn ugly because you want somebody to blame. Ugly people turn beautiful because you want somebody to love.

Sometimes, I think that EVERYBODY can be seen if somebody takes the time to look hard enough.

Sometimes, I think that, no matter how repulsive you may be, no matter how horrible a person you are, somebody WILL see you for whom and what you are, and can be capable of loving you.

What the hell am I talking about? I sound so Hallmark. I guess sometimes weddings will do that to a person.

"I have seen you, and I love you."

Someday, I think I would like to say that to somebody. Not as a marriage vow, just... to say it. Sometimes, I think I would like to say it now. But I never do. I'm not good at saying those kinds of things. Often, I think that if I just think it hard enough, the words will reach their target. I guess that's kind of a wimp's way out.

My mom and Penny spoke it aloud. And so I salute them.

Goodnight.

~H.T.*

"Did you realize no one can see inside your view...?" --Portishead.