08 July 2003 ~ Jack Sprat had no binders...

Yesterday morning, Jake was in a foul mood. Niehter one of us had slept much, and we were both feeling sort of foul. Then, we shared our foulness with each other.

I went to school to pick up a check, and fuck around a little bit... I got my check, I made an appointment with a writing tutor (yeah, I know I AM one, but do you know how hard it is to talk to yourSELF about your own paper?), I got some books out of the library, and I thought: "Poor Jake... Here I am, having an okay day, and he's probably still cranky and miserable."

In cases like this, I like to give presents. Just little presents, you know? Something to make a person feel a little bit less cross.

I thought: "I could go to the library and pick up some books he might like..."

...But Jake's sort of picky about books.

I thought: "I could go to the bookstore and pick him up a new notebook or something..."

But the notebooks at the bookstore -- hell, everything at the bookstore -- is pretty expensive...

Then it struck me... I remembered that, in one of the lab buildings, one of the professors left two large cardboard boxes in the hallway. Above the boxes is a sign that reads: "Please take these binders; I will throw them away otherwise." Well, then!

Now, who doesn't like binders? Isn't a binder a great way to cheer up somebody's day?!

I went up to the lab building. I peaked at the binders. They were all still full of notes and portfolio materials from former students. But all of the portfolio stuff was dated from 2001 and 2002. I figured: if they haven't picked this shit up by NOW, they're not coming back. So, I helped myself to some binders, some index pages, some of those page-protectors, and two notebooks that were only half-full... I emptied all the notes out of them. Most of the notes looked pretty stupid anyway.

I went downtown afterwards to meet Jake. He looked like he was feeling a little bit better... "Oh wait!" he said suddenly, "I forgot something! I got a present for you!"

"Really? I got you a present too!"

He ran back into the building...

...and came back out with a cardboard box full of binders and file folders.

"They were just gonna throw these away, so they were up for grabs, and I figured you could use some of them, and I could use some of them..."

"Uh... Jake...?

"Yeah?"

"You're not going to believe this..."

"Uh-oh..."

I opened by swollen bookbag, so full of binders that the zipper had partly broken... Jake peered in, and we both burst out laughing...

"Well," I tried to explain, "You seemed to be feeling sort of shitty this morning, and I felt back, because you felt shitty, and I wanted to get you a little present to make you feel better, and... and... and who doesn't like BINDERS?"

Jake agreed that binders were lovely, heartwarming gifts.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too," replied Jake.

"How can we be such opposites, and still be so... the same?"

I DON'T know..."

Indeed, our families, our backgrounds, our food, music, movies, books, weather, cars, clothes, drugs, favorite colors, cigarettes, political views, friends, art, hobbies, future plans, and sleeping patterns -- not only are they different, they're all almost EXACTLY opposite. That is, what Jake doesn't eat, I love, and vice versa. We can both sort of tolerate each other's music -- sort of -- but who DOESN'T own, and like, "Dark Side of the Moon," after all? Who doesn't like Björk and Garbage? He hates my weird French films, and I hate his action movies. I refuse to think about ever owning an SUV, and I cannot imagine Jake driving a sweet little VW Jetta. He likes green, I like red. I smoke menthols, Jake smokes regulars. One is Coke, the other's Pepsi. One is South, one is North. (I swear, everyone I know in New York would keel over and die if they saw the picture of Jake dressed in a Confederate uniform...) He takes his coffee with lots of sugar; I take mine with lots of cream.

We discovered on our first date, that we had a few things in common... Those things were: New England clam chowder, a love of ghost stories, good horror movies, and paranormal crap, and each other...

...Now, apparently, we also share a love for binders...

This whole relationship is just so absurd. I don't have ANY idea how we've stayed together this long without actually killing each other. It's a mystery that we can even stand each other. Yet somehow, someway, it's working...

I'm going to stop typing now. There's a boy in the other room that I haven't kissed for over an hour, and that's too long...

Love,
~Helena*